Just a page

[nams]

This is a one page story for a comics antology

Tell me what you think:

http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/1815/2489tk.jpg

Thank you for your time

[joshm]

I see some good art here and the facial expressions are very good. However, I'm not sure I understand the story. The third panel is a bit confusing. Is this his conscience or thoughts? Then we have panel five, which is a little more descriptive. I'm thinking he's not supposed to be doing something now. Then the last panel is a either him shutting the door or the name on the office door will appear their. If it is the later, then some action lines indicating him shutting the door might be a little more helpful. If it is the former, then never mind.

[VANDAL]

It IS hard to read this one, although a short script synopsis would help clear some things up. My only gripe is the lack of creativity in camera angles cause the art itself is just fine.

[nams]

Thanks for your Comments, the are much apreciated. I guess I blew in the Story telling department huh?
In The third panel the character realizes he is in a Comic book, and starts talking to the reader Telling him how theres no more privacy anywhere. In the Last panel there will be the name and the ocupation of the character on the window of the Door.

As for image shots... I got my ass kiked by the writher for making so many changes in the Camera angles( yes I Know) but it was suposed to be a single camera Shot in every panel of the Page.

Thanks again for your coments and for your sugestions!

Be Cool! :cool:

PS: Sorry about my english

[BrianDomingos]

I got the meta-textual aspects of this. It works very well.

There's no doubt it would have been more clear with dialogue as it was completely driven by that one character.

I think it's very good and works on the basic level. The camera angles don't have to be dynamic because of the nature of the scene.

It absolutely works. Nice job.