supe saves lex

[fobiwankenobi]

hi guys, I'd like you to give comments on these following sequences.
sorry it didn't show up before, so I just put the links here

http://s81.photobucket.com/albums/j229/fobytri/sequentials/?action=view&current=s1.jpg
http://s81.photobucket.com/albums/j229/fobytri/sequentials/?action=view&current=s2.jpg
http://s81.photobucket.com/albums/j229/fobytri/sequentials/?action=view&current=s3.jpg
http://s81.photobucket.com/albums/j229/fobytri/sequentials/?action=view&current=s4.jpg
http://s81.photobucket.com/albums/j229/fobytri/sequentials/?action=view&current=s5.jpg

Wish it works know and let me know what u think of it...

[Grimspeare]

Is it just me or is there no picture to see?

G.

[ryanscottottney]

Hey-hey! Nice Script! :laugh:

Good pages too! I'm just a writer, so I can't offer any serious crits, but I enjoyed seeing how you interpret my story. You should finish the story, though. You didn't even get the "twist" ending.

:thumbs:

[King Drigo IV]

no its you there is a Rainbow w/ skittles sliding down on a Unicorn...you cant see that....me neither WTF

[Oil]

I can't see a thing... Wotsgoinnon?

Olivier.

[fobiwankenobi]

yo ryan,
I have to thanks you for that scipt I guess. hope you don't mind anyway....

[Oil]

Hey, I like it!

Nice layout, it pays real well on the narrative level.

Very cool!

Olivier

[heartofglitter]

That's realy great, I love the full page image of Superman when he catches the image.

[fobiwankenobi]

thanks guys, I really apreciate it. It means so much. I look forward for other reviews...Well, you can say I made it to celebrate superman returns

[sacredsincomics]

hehe, thought this was familier. I read Ryan's cool script about a year ago.

Good sequential's. My biggest crit is that the pencils do come off a little dull, the other thing is Page 3, Panel 3, the head and shoulder shot of Lex (if I remember correctly, wasn't in the script). My problem with it, is Lex's reaction, in my personal opinion Lex wouldn't react in that way, I think he's more likely to clench his jaw and look at the guy in disgust or not show much emotion at all, than be scared by a him.

Good work, keep it up.

:thumbs:

[Mark Carano]

Awesome pencils..great layouts

:kewl:


www.caranographics.com

[sevans]

Some of the perspective is off in the first page.

Love the second page, nice pics and good clear layout.

Great first panel in the third page and good sequence, but too much 'dead' space. I looked at the lack of artwork almost as much as the images. Just rework the centre 3 panels.

Fourth page, tough angle and done fairly well, but HIS left forearm and his shins/lower legs look too short. The perspective should make his lower legs appear longer and the forearm just looks short in comparison to his right one.

Last page, pretty good. Again just a bit too much dead space - just extend the first couple of panels slightly.

Overall pretty solid work. Good clear storyteller and 'shot' choice. Keep postin!