View Full Version : Daredevil. Page 1.
04-26-2006, 04:34 PM
Working on some sequential stuff.
04-26-2006, 04:50 PM
This is Bad A$$$. The only change I would make is the hand holding the cane in panel 3. The position of the hand would make for an awkard positioning of the arm.
I love the courtroom scene...totally sweet.
04-26-2006, 04:54 PM
It has a McFarlane-esque look to it. The courtroom panel is very well done.
My only crit would be w/ panel 3. Matt Murdocks left arm/hand looks detached.
Given the view you gave the hand with the cane it's as if its coming out from the corner in a diagonal direction " / " lower left to upper right. And you gave the left arm from the shoulder down the same angle, so it looks like 2 parallel diagonal lines " // " instead of a " V " shape bend, so just be carefull with that.
04-26-2006, 05:07 PM
Thats really good man..
The only thing that you might take a look at would be his hands in panel 3(they seem wierd, not too sure why but they seem off. Sorry, I can't help more) and in the last panel the dark figure shouldn't have a hallow effect considering that when a strong light is to your back your whole figure in consumed in the darkness. Other than that I would love to see more, this is great.
04-27-2006, 09:10 AM
I really like it. :)
For a first page, I think it doesn`t start well. I like to see things that don`t start "right in the middle" and that`s the feeling I get with this page.
Your backrounds look great, but I (that`s a question of tastes, so don`t worry about it ;)) don`t really like the faces of Matt.
And I think the judge in p2 needs a face ;)
But great work! :)
04-27-2006, 09:14 AM
Absolutley super backgrounds, that often neglected part of graphics. But not here, the pages are well laid out and the drama builds nicely. Can't wait to see it inked.
04-27-2006, 09:21 AM
Here's a weird, and possibly obsessive, nitpick: the number and positioning of the jurors change between Panel 2 and Panel 3.
In Panel 2, I count seven, sitting close together, evenly spaced. But in Panel 3, a big Matt Murdock's head-sized gap appears between the male juror with the walrus moustache and the female juror with the cat-eye glasses and, in the second row, the bald juror and the juror with the Amish-style beard.
In Panel 3, an eighth juror (a woman with a turtleneck) appears in the second row.
Also, in most U.S. jurisdictions, there are 12 jurors for a criminal trial.
The courtroom backgrounds/details are stellar, though.
04-27-2006, 05:07 PM
Nice layout! I felt like I was watcing television through this. Very cool! Keep up the good work, bud! :thumbs:
04-27-2006, 09:10 PM
Damn good work man. The courtroom in pnl 2 is very technically sound. Did you use reference? Lets see page 2!
Immediate impression - that's a kickass page with a great background!!!! Your storytelling is solid, the panel layout is good, and you're comfortable with blacks and have a fair idea of how to place them. Kudos.
I really feel drawn into the environment and start to hear courtroom speak in my head too. Good job.
But, there are some technical modifications needed. The previous posts pointed out a few, but this one involves the background layout, specificly, your horizon line.
Take a look at the wall behind the jurors. The top of the wanescot / sill-line of the windows is what you've established as a horizon line, our eye-level. Just looking at the wall, I'd say that line is about 6 feet up the wall. So we're supposed to be veiwing the scene at 6 feet up. But if you look at Matt, we're definitely placed a few feet above him. But Matt's gotta be 6'2" at least (Ben Afflick is 6'4"). So, I think your horizon line on the wall/background needs to be higher. Look at Matt again - how high are we - it feels like we're about 8 to 10 feet in the air. We're looking down on the lawyers and the public, and we're even looking down on the judge and the bench. I'd say adjust your backgrounds, anchoring them on a higher horizon line.
04-28-2006, 03:26 AM
I don't see anything wrong with the horizon line. We're simply viewing the courtroom below the horizon line. There is nothing wrong with doing that. If the court room were underground that would be exactly how he’d draw it.
04-28-2006, 09:53 AM
LOL It's like McFarlane drew it. Awesome.
04-28-2006, 07:50 PM
Great courtroom! Gorgeous.
04-28-2006, 08:32 PM
The perspective is off on the right side where the two sides of the room meet at the corner in panel 2. Other than that and the obvious change in the number of jurors and matt's broken arm, it's a good page.
04-29-2006, 01:49 AM
The Jury ... everyone looks about the same height.
This always bugs me, I don't know what anyone else thinks, but why is Matt's head breaking through the panel? I always found this to be distracting.
04-29-2006, 01:37 PM
So it's an 8 man jury? Must not be a major offense. Ha ha! No really, it looks amazing. I might argue that I don't envision Matt that way, but you make it work, really!
05-03-2006, 09:16 AM
thanks for all the great comments and critiques...i will roll some of them into the updated page...thanks again.
05-03-2006, 03:46 PM
I swear this guy is really Todd McFarlane!
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