View Full Version : First Post Here..I'm Young..Don't Hurt Me..
Here're some samples for page 1 of a 5 page antho story that I'm handling the penciling for. These are individual pics taken of each panel with a webcam..so the pic quality is really low, I'm gonna get the 5 scanned once I can. Also, panel 5 is incomplete, I need to add a Dreamcatcher on the Headboard of the bed above the pillow, and then shade the bedpost, and the headboard itself. That's all. PLEASE crit this AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. I was joking about not hurting me..tear me a new one if you must..and you probably will. Well, here y'go.
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y227/clumsythief/Freq0101.png
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y227/clumsythief/Freq0102.png
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y227/clumsythief/Freq0103.png
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y227/clumsythief/Freq0104.png
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y227/clumsythief/Freq0105.png
He-Man1
11-07-2005, 12:13 AM
hey, as far as i can tell from the pictures it all looks great. i'm sure the scan will be easier to read but right now it all looks dead on, very nice work and welcome to the board!
chaosgoat
11-07-2005, 09:55 AM
I like what I see. I can't see any problems, really, but it's hard to tell.
Get this scanned ASAP.
Welcome to DW :) :thumbs: :)
adumb77
11-07-2005, 11:13 AM
looks great from what can be seen!
Wow, thanks guys. :) I'mma try and get whatever pages I can get done in time, scanned at Kinko's by Friday. I'll post all that I scan. :)
Thanks for the warm welcome.
hardinart
11-07-2005, 05:27 PM
Did you use some type of filter on the photo? If so why?
No filter. I just lowered the saturation, to get a cleaner white, cause the cam makes everything look orangish/sepia toned cause it's a piece of $#!%..
Rinky-dink webcam that's like 3 years old.
hardinart
11-07-2005, 06:54 PM
crazy man.
As long as you guys like it. I usually get pretty much ignored at places like Penciljack. Tons of people go in and look at what I post, but I get no comments. Even if I explicitly ask, nearly begging; nothing.
Panels 1 & 2 from page 2 of the same story. Can't do panels 3 & 4 until my templates get here..so it looks like I'm moving on to page 3. Either way, what do you guys thing? Comments/Critiques?
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y227/clumsythief/Freq0201.png
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y227/clumsythief/Freq0202.png
paime77
11-08-2005, 02:25 AM
Panel one – I see buildings, not really in perspective – if the fence is on ground level and we’re looking over the fence – establishing a high horizon line as it were, the buildings should have a more definitive angular tilt towards the horizon.
Panel two -- The front door is flat and I at first thought it was the door of a mobile home – if it opens inward there should be some frame showing. I don’t see the front door on the establishing shot it could just be the quality of the photos, but it helps if there is something unique about the door to establish it when you zoom in…
Panel three and four – I see dead people, but what room are they in? Are the two bodies in the same room – there is no establishing shot of the room or rooms as the case may be. I see a dead guy in a chair, but no sense of the room. I see a body on the floor but no sense of the room.
Panel five – guy sleeping peacefully – in another room of the house?
A slow establishment page is sometimes difficult because we that are familiar with the medium use a lot of shorthand. In longhand it is: Outside exterior – unique door or window > zoom in close to unique door or window (may show light or figure in unique door or window)>inside reverse of unique door or window to establish room and figure or light source – establishing shot of room shows placement of all figures, entrances, exits, objects, and unique door or window to show that this is same unique door or window from exterior zoom>With exit shown, leaving room should be easy – interior unique door> zoom… Now this may not be what you were going for or may not be as written in the script, but if it is then this is how it’s supposed to be done.
Nice work, deftly done. Many big name professionals can’t do it as well as you have so good for you.
One old artist's opinion.
Well, I'm happy to say that the majority of the problems you poined out, were written that way in the script. As for panels, 3 & 4, you can see more of the room and hints that they're in different room if you see a cleaner shot of the page. And panel 1...it's not really a fence..it's sticks jammed into the ground with barbwire..so it's not very high up. This is an Indian reservation. Everyone pretty much lives in ply-wood/ simple houses. Everything else I screwed up on. Oh well. I'll try to avoid these mistakes in my future pages. Thanks for the comment.
pressure_sensitive
11-08-2005, 11:03 AM
Moody stuff man... I like it!
Ok. Hopefully I'll be popping back in soon with scans. Hopefully.
Kal_EL
07-21-2006, 11:07 PM
You know my opinion about these. Awesome as usual. Did you ever post the larger versions on this site?
ariel
07-21-2006, 11:13 PM
You got to use a scaner
You know my opinion about these. Awesome as usual. Did you ever post the larger versions on this site?
Ya'know? I don't think I ever did..
Let me look into posting them.
Ok. There you go.
One. Two. Three.
Enjoy. :) :D
[img=http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/6439/page1nk2.th.jpg] (http://img87.imageshack.us/my.php?image=page1nk2.jpg)
[img=http://img156.imageshack.us/img156/6426/page2lf3.th.jpg] (http://img156.imageshack.us/my.php?image=page2lf3.jpg)
[img=http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/5604/page3lo3.th.jpg] (http://img139.imageshack.us/my.php?image=page3lo3.jpg)
vBulletin® v3.8.7, Copyright ©2000-2013, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.