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View Full Version : Ultimate Spiderman vs. Punisher - Sequential test


ianjjohnston
11-01-2017, 03:04 PM
Hello creators!

I'm getting back in the game so to speak and it's been a while. I'm trying out a new art style and am looking for good ol' constructive feedback. A few of my inspirations are Simonsen, Chaykin, Watterson, John and Sal Buscema, and Madueira to name a few.

I figured out a hosting site to share the 5 pages. Please critique away and I look forward to being a part of the community again. :)

--I

http://i66.tinypic.com/be6g4y.jpg

http://i65.tinypic.com/34e48yd.jpg


http://i66.tinypic.com/2ebcztz.jpg


http://i66.tinypic.com/vkdur.jpg


http://i65.tinypic.com/24b11eu.jpg

sevans
11-02-2017, 02:05 AM
Don't like links personally.

Bishop
11-02-2017, 09:54 AM
If you want people to look at it you need to post the images here. Links don't get views.

ianjjohnston
11-02-2017, 12:21 PM
i tried contacting customer support through digital webbing a few days back about the best way to showcase attachments as the instruction on their FAQ describe details different from what I'm seeing.

Got it figured out through a 3rd party. Let me know if you see them now. :)

--I

Bishop
11-02-2017, 01:55 PM
Yes, they are seen! Thanks!

cesare2009
11-02-2017, 04:40 PM
tone it down.... a lot.......I think you know what you're doing, you're just doing too much of it.....

ianjjohnston
11-03-2017, 02:40 AM
Don't like links personally.
Link is gone and was able to find a way to host images. Let me know if you see them. :)

12013
11-03-2017, 03:47 PM
so if I'm being for real, and giving an honest crit... these pages look like rough marker sketches done on printer paper to serve as thumbnails to work out the storytelling on different paper(or whatever) and to be finished up nice and clean.

so if this is your "finished" work, it doesn't work for me at all. I mean, there is something there, like I can see taking these and printing them out at full size 11x17 and lightboxing them and doing nice finished pencils over them. but as a finished work, I don't think it works at all. looks rough and unfinished and scratchy. yes..there are several pro artists that do draw like that, but they have such an advanced understanding of what they are doing and the craft that they are on a whole other level.

anyway, I think there is something here worthwhile. but for me personally, not like as shown.

ianjjohnston
11-03-2017, 08:45 PM
Thank you for the posts! Keep Ďem coming as I enjoy hearing the thoughts / opinions / perspectives and overall feedback! :)

tylerjrider
11-03-2017, 09:44 PM
It's definitely bold. And you're trying to get a lot accomplished here. My biggest advice to you (or anyone really) is to visit youtube and watch a channel called Strip Panel Naked. This guy talks about the ins and outs of comics as a storytelling tool. He explains what works in comics and what doesn't work. Watching those videos has helped me more than I can explain. There is much more to comics than drawing big burly guys swinging things at each other.

The reason I bring this up to you is that your panel layouts are hard to follow. This would work so much better if you defined your boarders more in places and rearranged a few panels. There is some decent drawing here and your framing works well in most cases, but the overall storytelling needs work.

Hope this helps!

tylerjrider
11-03-2017, 09:47 PM
Side note: are you using a Parallel Pen?

ianjjohnston
11-03-2017, 10:52 PM
Thank you for the crits guys! To clarify from a statement above this is actually a script Bendis wrote for Ultimate Spider-Man that I downloaded online but I donít own the issue and didnít want to be persuaded from what was already done. Now that itís done iíll Have to compare.

Great reference on the YouTube channel. Canít wait to check it out!

kevinharte36
11-04-2017, 09:19 AM
They'd be an awesome starting point as roughs, as they are really energetic and dynamic. Try and do what 12013 said and post them here, be nice to see the change. Take your time, if you have it.

ianjjohnston
11-04-2017, 10:09 PM
Side note: are you using a Parallel Pen?
I built a custom parallel brush to capture the energy I was looking for. I believe there is a ton of ďpolishedĒ books out there and I want to capture the raw feeling the books from the 80s have. ( especially in Sal Buscema and chaykinís works). That raw energy has a lot of emotional weight to me and my enjoyment of those books.

paul brian deberry
11-06-2017, 06:39 PM
I love what you're doing and think it be a damn shame if you changed your style.

The biggest problem with the industry toady. Is everyone wants to be Jim Lee. Sadly these samples won't get you a job at Marvel or DC... which is a gawd damn shame. Cause I would buy ever issue you'd draw.

With that said... you've made it damn near impossible for your letterer to letter these pages.

sevans
11-06-2017, 07:15 PM
Jim Lee is Fucking boring. And his people look the same.

BUT this looks like an unfinished rough.
Nothing wrong with bold chunky lines etc, but when tyres and buildings have loose crooked edges...they don't look finished.

It will be a fine line to tighten this up, without losing the great amount of energy your work has.

ianjjohnston
11-06-2017, 11:07 PM
I love what you're doing and think it be a damn shame if you changed your style.

The biggest problem with the industry toady. Is everyone wants to be Jim Lee. Sadly these samples won't get you a job at Marvel or DC... which is a gawd damn shame. Cause I would buy ever issue you'd draw.

With that said... you've made it damn near impossible for your letterer to letter these pages.

Thanks Paul! Maybe this can be book for those who donít care to read. Lol.

ianjjohnston
11-06-2017, 11:10 PM
Jim Lee is Fucking boring. And his people look the same.

BUT this looks like an unfinished rough.
Nothing wrong with bold chunky lines etc, but when tyres and buildings have loose crooked edges...they don't look finished.

It will be a fine line to tighten this up, without losing the great amount of energy your work has.

Thanks Sevans! Am doing another set now from another Punisher story...will see if I learn anything from all the suggestions / comments!

noahgrahamart
11-07-2017, 12:33 AM
Ok here I go, take this how you will, I really like the kind of stuff you're trying to capture but I think what you're showing here lacks the form, weight and power that would back up the energy you're getting in these pages, my suggestion would be start with a loose sketch (looser than these pages) to get that energy and gesture, down as well as the storytelling...
(and on an unrelated side note I'm not sure if it's in the script I know writers love those POV shots these days but I'd keep them to an occasional thing, they always seem better on paper than they end up looking to me, I kinda feel like too many stifles the options of a sequence)
... I'd then spend some time really locking down your form, and proportions (they can be exaggerated but make them internally consistent) anatomy prospective all that stuff make sure you have a good sense of these figures and environments in three dimensions make sure you establish a good light source and lay a nice shadow pattern to give your forms weight and when you've dotted all of your i's ang crossed all of your t's go to the inking/ finishing stage and go nuts with all the loose energetic line work you're putting on these pages, only with the existent structure there so you can instinctively lay down lines and shapes that imply form and structure even if they're loose and energetic and aren't so literal a translation, I think taking the time to do this step will give your stuff the extra something you're looking for without loosing the energy you have

ianjjohnston
11-08-2017, 03:52 PM
Thanks noahgrahamart! I will take the constructive crit to heart as that is something I do strive to create. :)