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View Full Version : Submission for Knife in Texas Comics


DavidNH
08-15-2017, 01:15 AM
Hello guys. These are the pages that the editor of the publisher requested me when we met at a con back then. Tell me what do you guys think. XD

http://other00.deviantart.net/c358/o/2017/226/6/d/6d6c1a7ca3da96925b3898ee46f6b681.jpg

http://other00.deviantart.net/911a/o/2017/226/8/7/87697af22a0bff41f01f7a49aa1d76a1.jpg

http://other00.deviantart.net/95a0/o/2017/226/d/9/d9ebabc409b69015bef13f31232eed7f.jpg

kevinharte36
08-15-2017, 12:47 PM
Nice work. The eyes seem off..

12013
08-15-2017, 09:37 PM
that arm breaking the panel border in panel 2 on page 1 looks ridiculous and needs to be removed.

theres some other stuff id suggest changing, as well as some stuff that I think look pretty darn neat. but that one arm thing is just killing me

jeffchris50
08-15-2017, 11:52 PM
I agree that that elbow arm is in a odd space and creates an unnecessary distraction to the eye. I have zero issues with artwork breaking the boundaries of panels, but it should be done for the sake of creativity and not to the detriment of the panel or the page in question. Perhaps if you pushed the camera in closer, let the elbow/arm drop back within the panel boundary and allow the gun to be the item that protrudes it might work better? Certainly would be a bit more dynamic.

In that same panel, there's a head in the panel BG that looks notoriously like the folks on the horses that are being shot at, but it never makes a reappearance. Is it someone from the enemy camp who's snuck up behind them to commit nefarious deeds? A prisoner? It's a loose end that needs tying up.

Second panel, second page; the dude (dudess?) getting the bullet through the melon; the figure is just too stiff and rigid. A bullet traveling that distance with that much velocity is definitely going to knock that rider sideways in the saddle, not to mention likely take a good sized chunk of skull and goo out the other side when it exits. Bullets are mean like that...

DavidNH
08-15-2017, 11:56 PM
Thanks guys. Yeah I think the arm breaking the panel is a bad idea. I will erase them later. I will post the colors soon. Hope you like it

DavidNH
08-16-2017, 12:02 AM
Thanks Jeff for the comment. Stiff figure.. I will try my best to practice some more dynamic figure. Still got so much to learn. Thanks for your comment guys. Appreciate that a lot XD

jeffchris50
08-16-2017, 03:47 AM
Not to flog a dead guy (LOL), but also keep in mind that odds are his/her arms would likely be coming up and away from that horse as the brain and body reacts to the shot. Consider the wave theorem for his head and body, as well. The head will likely get sent in the same general direction of the shell, so it's likely the shell (and its accompanying debris) would likely be coming out of the skull likely more towards the top, left hand side. And while the impact of the shell is going to force the head in that same general direction, I've seen some incidences of the body arcing the total opposite direction, again, due to physics, mas, velocity, point of impact, etc.

And the poor schmuck behind him? Odds are, he's going to be having some type of reaction to seeing the dude a couple of feet ahead of him get his head blown open.

Sorry, just food for thought...

Charles
08-19-2017, 09:29 PM
The core problem isn't your art, so much as your style. What is on display here is visually boring. Even the panel showing a guy take a bullet to the head falls flat on the eye. It's almost like looking at mannequins - largely lifeless.

It is worth noting that your terrain has more life and visual interest in its than the characters that you have presented on the pages.

kevinharte36
08-21-2017, 01:46 PM
I wouldn't pay much attention to Charles as he has a total of 737 posts trolling artists.

Toondoctor
08-21-2017, 06:59 PM
The female sniper moves from left to right almost every time we see her. Set her up in one corner and leave her there. The make every reaction shots react to her position - by looking in her direction.