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sljinks
08-09-2016, 03:00 PM
Solar Squadron origin, from

B.O.T.R.P

By Scott Lee Jinks

(c) 2015 S.L.J

Page 1

panel 1

Wee see 4 large alien heads floating over a super hero team. Background is Mars landscape. Solar Squadron seen (originally copyrighted in 91"). The aliens have pale human skin. Yet with insect like eyes and mandibles. S. Squadron members seen. Brother Earth, African American, royal blue and green uni and mask, white highlights. Solar Flare, red headed female, orange and red uni. Large flaming cylinder behind her (portal to the sun). Flaming ball coming out at her command. Lunar Eclipse(name created by Glenda Jinks). African American woman, white hair in braids, pure white skin, white uni. Planetoid (copyrighted in 87")large gray, round, planet shaped rock skinned man monster, cracks in his armor have orange lava oozing out. Nova star, glowing yellow man, three pointed star outlined around right eye, Kirby whited out eyes, bald. Traveling on partially flaming meteor fragment he pulls trough tiny dimensional portals. Space Born, African American male, black and white uni, enveloped by a space cloak. Jack Kirby like space seen, whited out eyes.

Caption- we join a surprised super hero team, taken from their home world in an instant, with ought warning !

Krullians- Earth men, hear us. You have been taken from your home world to participate in a contest. If the loser simply submits, they will be returned to Earth!, a fight to the death is not required!

Panel 2

We see Earth's destruction.

Krullians-do not comply and your world will be destroyed!

Krullians- You ask, should we be more evolved? Do you not command your own pets to do tricks? Destroying your world to us is no more than destroying microscopic organisms in a Petri dish!

Panel 3

We see Brother Earth angered.

Brother Earth- So I have no power on this planet?

Krullians- we are aware you become inhumanly strong and invulnerable when standing on the Earth. We will allow your power to continue while standing on Mars.

Caption-But why can everyone even breathe on Mars you may be thinking? The Krullians have changed the atmosphere for the battle. The battle between all of Earth's mightiest heroes!

Page 2*

Panel 1

We see the Solar Squadron again. In a stance ready for battle.

Caption 1- Who are the Solar Squadron?

Caption 2- An ancient alien race known as the Olympians chose one guardian from each respective solar system in the known universe, giving them the powers of the elements that make up the solar system....Earth, moon, sun, space, and planets.*

Panel 2

We see Solar Storm. White male, navy blue and gold uni. Red cape. 20's hair style.

Caption - They originally gave it to a man named Lance Justice. He was a world war one hero, an olympian, a genius. He became the world's first super hero....Solar Storm! He was given the power to protect our solar system, even Earth 2 on the other side of the sun!

panel 3

We see him fighting alien warships on another planet.

Caption- an alien race that had no guardian was being invaded by hostile forces, they came asking for Solar Storms help. He agreed.

Panel 4

We see a newspaper machine. Paper reads. "Where is Solar Storm?"

Caption 1- unfortunately he contracted an alien virus' on the planet, oddly being immune to illness otherwise. He would hide in his fortress of sanctuary on top Mt Everett for years as scientists around the globe scrambled to find a cure!

Caption 2- They did, but it was too late!

Page 3

Panel 1

We see Solar storm. New black costume, white hair in pony tail, no cape. Hovering above Earth, holding a large meteorite.

Caption 1- He returned in December 1975, he ordered the president to vacate the White house by January 1st, this is were he would hold his office of ruling over the Earth!

Caption 2- He had gone completely mad!

Caption 3- He would show the world a demonstration he was serious, by hurling a meteor at Earth and destroying Los Alamos New Mexico!

Panel 2

We see Jimmy Carter on t.v

Caption- The president would than call for every super human being on Earth to join together on the White House lawn and defeat Solar Storm!

Page 4

Panel 1 (whole panel)

We see Vengeance League with Solar Storm in front of them. Solar storm has a fist like Planetoid. Some of his body is an outer space dimension. His eyes glow from the sun blasts that are about to come out of them....glowing orange. We see Poseidon, younger than pictured, yet long wavy white hair. No beard, Royal blue and white armor with a lot of shells(big and small), and pearls. Helmet has large swirly shells on sides of helmet, yellow gold cape. Staff. Mercury, bronze skinned, helmet, winged feet, whited out Kirby eyes, no hair on head. Venus, tan woman, long brown hair, purple cape, head piece, very Roman looking outfit. Armor man- Roman helmet, armor covering face, no mouth piece. Roman like armor, cape. Gold, royal blue trim, gold cape. Doc Gulliver, giant man in red, white, and blue colonial uniform, hat, coat, and spandex. Micro man (seen with magnifying glass)....goggles, scientist coat over spandex uni, almost aquatic looking equipment on him, like a scuba diver would ware. Iwo Jima, white male, old army helmet, green mask, olive military uni with green super hero boots and gloves, Man-kaiju, large hulking man monster with crocodile like green skin, stegosaurus dorsal fins and tail, ripped blue jeans. Pegasus, white female with big white 80's hair, white wings, white uni, with gold trim (copyrighted 1986), Scarlet Sorceress. ....tan skin, black hair with white streak, Scarlet uni with large cape.

Caption - the original Vengeance League was born that day!

Solar Storm- Ha, ha, ha, fools!, you will meet your doom on this day!

Page 5

Panel 1

We see micro man in the blood stream unleashing a super virus.

Caption- Micro man has shrunken, and is now releasing a super virus strain into his blood stream, what would instantly kill a normal human in seconds, will just weaken him considerably!

Panel 2



We see Doc Gulliver land the famous knockout punch seen on a big t.v screen in times square. Crowds looking on.

Caption- Doc Gulliver, can change places with other Doc Gullivers on larger and smaller planets in different dimensions, this 25 ft Doc Gulliver lands the punch heard around the world!

Panel 3

Solar Storm walking away in defeat

Caption- Solar Storm would suffer his first ever defeat!

Page 6

Panel 1

We see teen aged students in a lab startled by aliens....but ones that look human, even a bit like mythic gods, with a combination of a god's attire and futuristic armor. They are four, a man with white Roman hair, a woman with white hair from viking times, and an African American looking man and woman with white afros.....The teens.....African American girl, two African American teen boys, a white proper looking boy, slightly arrogant even. And a white red haired teen girl.

Caption 1- The Rosen Institute for geniuses in NYC!

Caption 2- The elders of the planet Olympus decide to stretch the powers out among five worthy candidates! They are found at a school for gifted children!

Panel 2

We see changed Lunar Eclipse making objects float.

Caption- Lunar Eclipse can create a moon like environment around her!

Panel 3

We see Planetoid. Large round planet shaped body. Head I picture like Buscemas Thing, with ought nose, and less prominent brow. Smoother gray rock armor, with cracks with lava in them....orange. Some times I picture his head more like mole monster.

Caption- For his arrogance, the pretentious Planetoid was not given the ability to change back and forth, the Elders believing this would humble him!

Panel 4

Back on the planet. We see Solar Flare with large round sun portal behind her, and Space Born with Space cloak.

Caption 1-Solar Flare brings forth a dimensional portal to the sun, we're she can bring forth flaming fire balls, or take shelter there with ought being burned!

Caption 2- Space Born can suck opponent into space cloak, and release them when they pass out from lack of oxygen!

Page 7

Panel 1

We see Nova Star

Caption- Nova Star is an alien ally who joined Solar Squadron, as his planet was destroyed by a mutual foe. He has the ability to omit a blinding light that can become as powerful as a star gone nova(of coarse, that would blind the entire planet!). He rides and controls meteor fragments that he pulls through small dimensional portals around him just as they hit the planets atmosphere!

Panel 2

We see the Krullians again

Krullians- This will be your opponents Solar Squadron!


Panel 3*

We see Vengeance League, some new and old members. Poseidon, Iwo Jima, Man-kaiju, Mercury, Armor Man, Venus, Scarlet Sorceress, Bloodnight, African American in silver armor with spikes on arms, helmet designed after the vampire who killed his parents was in bat monster form(Bram Stokes Dracula), and black cape. Human Laser flying omitting light blue light, it surrounds him like the human torches fire, he does not become an energy being.*

Caption- The Vengeance League!

Panel 4

Picture of Iwo Jima standing in front of famous Iwo Jima scene.

Caption- Iwo Jima, he was there as the men hoisted the flag. A regular soldier.....

Panel 5

We see Japanese soldier is just a boy, Iwo Jima not shooting him. A ghostly vision of a beautiful Japanese woman in traditional attire in background. Combat seen around them.

Caption 1- Seconds before the famous hoisting of the flag, Iwo Jima let a teenaged Japanese soldier go, Izanami the wife of Japans most powerful mythic god saw this and interviewed giving the soldier extraordinary powers!

Thought bubble/Iwo Jima- You from this day forward will have the power of the 6 men who hoisted the flag, their combined strength, and 6 lifetimes to live!

Caption 2- He was rescued in a storm going threw the Bermuda triangle by aliens in the 40's, but returned in 1975 just in time to become the leader of the Vengeance League!


Page 8

Panel 1

We see Man Kaiju, Martian surface around him.

Caption 1-

When Japan's greatest monster suddenly died. The army , scientists, and news crews rushed to the scene.

Caption 2- A.famous Japanese American scientist was lifted to the top of the Titanic creature to take DNA samples, just then the spirit of the monster rushed into him giving him the strength of a 300 ft titan!

Panel 2- We see Bloodnight .

Caption 1- When he was a boy his parents were slain in front of him by a vampire, he would then spend the rest of his life in training to become a super vampire hunter, donning the helmet of the thing he fears most, the vampire bat monster the fiend took shape of that night!

Caption 2- When not stalking the undead he lends a hand to the Vengeance League!

Panel 3

We see Scarlet Sorceress*

Caption 1- The Scarlet Sorceress is a mutation, as radiation began in the 40's for the first time arose a race of radiation spawned mutations with special powers, Zora being one of them!

Caption 2- She has the power to absorb white magic and change it into power such as levitation, mind reading and control. Powerful concussion like blasts that omit from her hands, she has no knowledge of or can not cast spells.

Panel 4

We see Armor Man

Caption- To explain Armor man's origin we need to take a look back at a series of events that not only gave Armor Man his powers, but Poseidon, Mercury, and many others!

Page 9

Panel 1

We see many gods in battle, a different version than existing versions of Thor, Zeus, Hercules, Apollo, Horus, fighting some unknown alien gods.

Caption 1-In contrast to the myths that are told, the mythic gods really are from the planet Olympus, the elder gods Zeus, Jupiter, Odin, Ra, and Izanagi took Earth wives. had children, and welding the space born galactic energy gave all of them powers!

Caption 2- An alien gods -Earth gods war broke out, and many notable gods such as Thor, Zeus, and demi -gods like Hercules did not survive!

Panel 2-*

We see Kronos, grey battle armor, two large horns sticking out of helmet. Looks like he has a football helmet face mask, one with extra bars, under them a dark plastic like sunglasses, you can't see his face, a lot of red trim on armor. He's running sword through unidentified god.

Caption- Kronos was an elder ruling over his own planet, but that wasn't good enough for him, he craves war is what many believe.

Panel 3

4 elders seen giving Solar Squadron power, wrecking everyone even Kronos, putting a stop to everything.

Caption- Then what some call the council of Asgard would intervene. The surviving elders would be brought home to stand trial for blasphemy, for posing as deities. Kronos would escape justice!

Panel 4

Poseidon scratching head, some other gods standing around puzzled.

Caption- these children of the elders had been lied too, taught they were gods, now they are given a choice to go to Olympus, or stay, but as mortal men, to live among the mortals as their equals, most stay!

Page 10

Panel 1

Armor man seen*

Caption 1- He was an archeologist :thumbs:on a dig in Rome, this is were he would find the armor of the long dead mythic god Mars!

Caption 2- Mars was Jupiter's favorite son. He even gave him an armor that absorbed galactic energy making him stronger than his siblings, or cousins. Still he met his doom at the hands of Kronos, but when Professor Samuel Howard dons the armor it gives him tremendous power!*

Panel 2

We see man, I think of a scarred Jason Stratham(i.d tattoo under eye, numbers and bar code), one eye whited out, scar up and down that side of face. He has green body armor, bdu camouflage pants, black army boots....green gloves,cut off at fingers, military belt with pouches, beige trench coat. One side of coats inside is open and he's reaching into it, his hand inside a dimensional portal, crackling light blue energy seen around his wrist.

Caption - We see a new V.L member.....Surplus!.....He is a soldier from another time, sent back to control zombie infested zones. He was a super soldier in an apocalyptic time, captured by androids and brainwashed and turned into a human hunter, given a jacket that what ever weapon he thinks of, guns, knives, grenades, rocket launchers, martial arts weapons ,futuristic weapons, whatever, he can reach into a dimensional portal in his jacket, and bring out that same weapon!

Panel 3

We see him pull out grenade surrounded with crackling light blue energy.*

Caption 1- He was deprogrammed by the human resistance. The evil android Metallicon believed that zombies who were just a minor nuisance to the battle tested humans of his world, would overwhelm the humans of the past, so he sent back zombie infestations to certain areas around the globe.

Caption 2- Surplus was sent back to control the zombie infestation, but in his time away from that he aides the V.L.

Panel 4

We see split panel in three. Semi-automatic is a black man with go tee. Red mechanical eye that gives him super sight. Black uni and black leather trench coat. We see him put magazine in opening under forearm, opening you can see some machinery, arm part machine and flesh, then we see machine gun barrels pop out from top of forearm, again an arm of flesh and machinery.

Caption- Semi-automatic is another soldier who aides Surplus and his fight, and now is another new member of the V.L!


Page 11

We see Reserve, Latin man. Scarred face, braided hair , desert storm camos, tan body armor. Whole page depicts his power. He pulls glowing door handle from utility belt, next he puts it on ground and it makes glowing outline of door. Next we see him open door. Next he goes down stairs and we see him enter armory, with supply of all kinds of different weapons, then we see him back on ground stacked with an arsenal of weapons.*

Caption 1- Reserve, another super soldier. First he was given a super steroid that helped him become stronger at amazing rates, then another pill that would allow him to learn dozens of martial arts in months, that would take someone many life times!

Caption 2- Android scientists also dabbling with magic and the supernatural gave him the magical handle that gives him access to an always freshly stocked up armory!*

Page 12

The New Olympians enter the fray(ran out of characters, end cut up)

sljinks
08-09-2016, 03:04 PM
Yeah, DW staff, no disrespect meant. Just I have B.O.T.R.P 2 up, and part 3 coming this week, I thought people still might want to know how it all started, changed title for a little dramatic effect, just hoping this is cool with you guys, if not, no harm, no foul. I'm great full for the opportunity here on DW, thanks, Scott

sljinks
08-09-2016, 09:59 PM
Had to cut out New Olympians origin, here's some more on those characters...



Page 12

The New Olympians enter the fray(ran out of characters, end cut up)




Page 13

Panel 1 (large panel, page split in two large panels)

We see whole group except Titan Gal.

Caption 1-Kid Hercules*

Caption 2- Teen Neptune. Not only the strongest member, can control the sea.

Caption 3- Ms. Atlas

Caption - Silver Streak- power of Hermes.

Caption- Vulcan Lad- Can summon weapons at thought from Vulcan's armory, a sword could cut a tank in half for example, no human should have the strength to wield these weapons !

Panel 2 , or bottom half of page( in 4 panels) 1)we see Titan Gal in fight in streets with team. Villain Opossum bald man white whiskers , razor sharp teeth, opossum tail, human geyser, man with armor of boiling hot bubbling water, doctor hydra, large mechanical hydra. In chest you can see green glass, and little scientist controlling it, round glasses, mole manish, go tee, hair points on top like hydra horns, he's a little person. 2) Next panel she's in mt. Olympus palace, 3) next panel she's holding chest piece of giant cyclops from chest board/map with chest pieces of gods, titans, monsters. Energy crackling from chest piece she's holding. 4) Next panel giant cyclops is at tackling villains who appear overwhelmed.

Panel 2

Caption- And lastly Titan Gal....

Panel 3

Caption- She's been given the ability to teleport into Zeus and Heras' now abandoned palace atop Mt. Olympus.

Panel 4

Caption- She can take any chess piece from Zeus' magical chess set, and control who ever she is holding, be it god, goddess, titan, or monster!

Panel 5.*

Caption- She can also teleport who ever she wants....man, god, or beast!


Yeah, ran out of characters on origin of New Olympians and their opponent. Mercury saw a group of unarmed teenagers help out on a mugging. After the death of Ra, he was left in charge of his powerful staff by the elders, being also able to teleport through space, he hid it on a barren planet. But in a special case used it to give the teens powers. Powers of deceased gods and demi'gods. Brief description....kid Hercules is a A/A teen with dreads, and go tee, red and gold armor with chains across chest, and wrapped around forearm. Gold lion belt buckle. Teen Neptune is half man, half sea horse, man's face, no hair, Kirby whited out eyes, head and upper body has sea horse spikey armor, turquoise, completely sea horse from waist down, holds trident. Silver streak, Caucasian female, black and silver uni, silver wavy hair. Vulcan Lad A/A teen. Bronze roman armor, helmet with face seen, whited out eyes. Ms. Atlas, large Caucasian blonde, 25 ft, white, grecian costume, combined with spandex, gold wrist bracelets, and trim.
Titan Gal, brunette, navy blue and white uni. And greek tunic. Opponent, we'll go into more in 2nd part. The Vampire People....have some vampire powers, and some weaknesses. Night Child can control bats. and rats and turn into them, her weakness is a stake through the heart, and she can't see her reflection in a mirror, but if the stake is removed she will regenerate. Bloodstalker is the only one who needs blood, Vampyr lad can turn into mist, among other powers, can't eat garlic!....their leader wears synthetic skin because he can't be in the sunlight, one other weakness is he must be invited in to your home, or he'll get violently ill!....Scott

Last edited by sljinks; 07-26-2016






Derrick White and Glenda B. Jinks Co created Surplus....my friend in a cargo warehouse who used to show me his wizard magazines.....
.originally copyrighted in 2000, I added more and copyrighted it in 2009, never got form back.....just a mystery if they ever got it. In 1988 first version of prehumanoids form never came. can't find it on net either. My wife added some cool ideas to Surplus. One is he throws out futuristic land mines that have some kind of machine like screws, and screw into the ground in front of zombies. That would look cool I think.....thanks for reading.....Scott

******

SamRoads
08-15-2016, 08:09 PM
Lots of things wrong here. Check out Bolts and Nuts on ComixTribe and read up about classic comic script panel descriptions. You've quite a few rungs on the ladder to climb before your scripts are in a format which makes them easy for other writers to read.

Alternatively, buy one of the books which explains comic formating. Brian Michael Bendis, or the DC Guide to Comics.

Hope that helps!

sljinks
08-15-2016, 11:34 PM
Sam, great to hear from you, you have commented on more than one occasion, it gives you a lift, that someone cares, and is trying to help. I could be wrong, want to complete the Battle on the red planet, then check out Comix.Tribe, and those books you recommend. Study, then put up a sci-fi story I been working on, hope I show some improvement by then. Thanks again....Scott.....

sljinks
08-23-2016, 03:23 AM
Don't know who it was, but thanks for the thumbs up on Armor Man, was happy to see that, and that somebody enjoyed the story. I originally thought of that about twenty years ago. Thought a normal man donning the battle armor of a mythic god sounded cool, but why would that give him super human power? Took me awhile to come up with that.....Scott

Artloader
08-25-2016, 08:29 AM
Hi Scott, I can see that you've put a lot of work into designing the characters and their backgrounds here.

I just had a few thoughts for you if that's OK.

1. I suggest that you put your character descriptions in a separate character profile document. This would allow you to focus on actually telling the story in your script rather than describing your characters.

2. You are unloading a huge amount of information onto the reader in a relatively short space. It might be more enjoyable for the reader if you reveal this information more slowly - drip feed it as your story progresses. If you withhold information at the start in the right way - it could create a hook to entice your readers into turning the page and finding out more.

3. Maybe instead of revealing the Krullians at the very start, you could have them transport the super teams without warning and deviously trick them into fighting each other. Then you could reveal the evil master minds of the conflict right at the end? Just a thought.

Anyway - I'm still relatively new to comic script writing so please feel free to ignore.

I do recommend ComixTribe though - I'm still reading through the Pouch Of Nuts section on there myself.

Good luck with your endeavours :).

sljinks
08-25-2016, 05:31 PM
Artloader, hey, thanks for taking an interest in me, and the story. That's actually not a bad idea about the separate character profile document, I do load a lot of characters in. I'm hoping people are picturing the characters, like with Dark halfs demonic warrior characters, I can picture them. Yes, the Krullians being more of a mystery would have been a better idea, excellent point. Yeah, like you I'm new to this as well, despite my age, 51. I used to send a lot of characters, to comic book companies, Marvel, D.C, and Archie mainly (some independents), just sketches and brief outlines of the origins. Not a recipe for success, well, not even a possibility now. Jim Shooter sold some characters to D.C in the 60's, that's the only story I have ever read about that. Yeah a controversial guy, but probably a genius, working for D.C as a teenager, wow! .....Scott

sljinks
08-25-2016, 07:54 PM
Artloader if you get this, can't seem to post on Captain Mothstorm. I like it, can't critique it like those guys, just don't have the knowledge, but from a fans perspective, It was entertaining. I especially like the magic green moths!....Scott

sljinks
08-26-2016, 10:16 PM
FYI....contact info....610 570 8228.....my email is down.....Scott

sljinks
09-04-2016, 01:44 AM
Golden Arrow (name from public domain) Vengeance League N.Y.C member, was in the Olympics for archery. The greatest marksman ever known. He became depressed after there was no way to turn pro, and turned to drinking. He was a homeless man recognized by Vulcan Lad, the kid helped him clean up, then gave him a purpose, giving him a gold crossbow and golden Indestructible arrows all forged by Vulcan himself (know deceased), just one of many weapons left in Vulcan's armory. The arrows can penetrate any known substance, steel, ect...., and most super humans seemingly indestructible body armor. Crossbow attached to right forearm (originally copyrighted in 1987, Sharp Shooter).