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jpgaltmiller
08-07-2016, 05:50 PM
Looking for advice! Below is a page that is supposed to be part of a montage, like you'd find in any movie, but especially an 80s movie, where our main character is training for the big final "climax". Wondering if these musical notes are effective to show that these captions are a song playing? Any other thoughts on how to get that across effectively? Appreciate the feedback!

http://www.lesbianzombies.com/MontageTest.jpg

Stewart Vernon
08-07-2016, 11:49 PM
I don't know how it would look... but if I were doing it, I think I would try... instead of just using the yellow boxes, I'd see if I could use something that looks like a sheet music design.

Put the musical note there like you have it, but have the text in white boxes with the lines like on sheet music. I also might see how it looks if you made the box slightly wavy, like a flag waving in the wind to indicate some bounce to the music.

It might not work like I'm thinking in my head, but I'd definitely try it and see.

jpgaltmiller
08-08-2016, 02:22 AM
That's a very cool idea. I will try to figure out how to do it. :)

jpgaltmiller
08-08-2016, 02:47 PM
Well, wavy captions are a bit beyond my capabilities at this point. But what do you think of something like this?

http://www.lesbianzombies.com/MontageTest2.jpg

Stewart Vernon
08-08-2016, 04:51 PM
That works for me. I wasn't sure how the wavy look would work, it's just something I probably would have tried... but the key part of my thought was making it look more like music.

My other thought is... maybe not yellow. Yellow is traditionally for non-character dialog (like a third-party narrator who is not part of the story or an editor reminding the reader of a previous comic issue)

I was thinking white or off-white. Also, in lieu of the wavy boxes, you could also consider having the left and right sides of your music graphic break the bounds of the dialog box a bit for effect. Just a thought.

jpgaltmiller
08-09-2016, 03:31 PM
Hey, thanks for the continued feedback. I don't know. After looking at this the next day, I'm not super happy with it. I feel like the notes and lines look too jumbled from a distance...

Your info on the yellow caption boxes is great. I personally don't want white boxes - don't think it will work. And maybe boxes with a little more flare will work for the story better. So here's what I went with:

http://www.lesbianzombies.com/MontageTest3.jpg

Areocube
08-11-2016, 05:25 PM
I must say, the sheet music lines and notes look fantastic! The visual style with this option had me singing it in my head. And if you feel that it is a bit jumble up in there, can you decrease the opacity of the music lines and notes??? this might help

Stewart Vernon
08-13-2016, 03:36 AM
I agree, I thought the music notes and lines really made it work. I'm not sure what I understand about "from a distance" it looking jumbled.

Covers and logos need to catch attention and stand out from a distance... to draw the reader to pick up your book. The text inside the book doesn't need to stand out from a distance. It is meant to be read at arm's length (for the most part).

At the end of the day it is your book, but I think the more musical visual was the strongest one... and not just saying that because it was my suggestion :)

jpgaltmiller
08-14-2016, 05:53 AM
With from a distance, i mean looking at the page as a whole. I agree, that standalone panel looks pretty good... I don't know. Now I'm getting indecisive. :)

Thanks again for the feedback!

SamRoads
08-15-2016, 08:01 PM
Dunno if you mind, but most of the note clusters you've all used in the lettering are not quite musical notation and/or look repeated. Check out some sheet music and copy how that looks for some realistic note groups.

Try this:

https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjp07q2w8TOAhXLcBoKHUVsC3oQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.musicnotes.com%2Fsheetmusic%2 Fmtd.asp%3Fppn%3DMN0058140&psig=AFQjCNE0u5xz4Z3NQR_IEyoQMBwSoOkVeg&ust=1471388494599164