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sljinks
07-18-2016, 06:26 PM
The Prehumanoids

By Scott Lee Jinks

(C)2015 S.L.J

PAGE 1

PANEL 1

We see gray aliens....small, on space craft. Monitoring dinosaurs from a screen.

Caption-The Krill, an ancient alien race....time travel for them is a reality , as well as traveling distant light years to a planet like Earth!

PANEL 2

We see a small metal machine(probe) with a needle poking T-rex.
.
CAPTION- The Krill are taking the DNA of dinosaurs.....

PANEL 3

We see mammoth with same device extracting DNA.

CAPTION- They travel through time to another era, extracting the DNA from prehistoric mammals. First dinosaurs, now prehistoric mammals, but why?

PANEL 3

We see viking, being grappled by machine, injected just like prehistoric creatures. There's a fight in him, but he is subdued.

CAPTION- And humans are next!

PANEL 4

We see spaceship approaching a different planet.

CAPTION1- The Krill have taken the DNA of dinosaurs, prehistoric mammals, and humans, mixed them together, and are placing them on a distant planet!

CAPTION 2- For what we can only speculate is to observe their bizarre experiment!

PAGE 2

PANEL 1

We see a collage of a planets history (whole page is panel)it mirrors our own planets history, leading up to a modern looking time, except with half man- half dinosaur/and prehistoric mammal people

CAPTION- The distant planet Argus 2. It has now become a more modern world as time passed, a modern world much like our own.



PAGE 3

PANEL 1-

We see modern prehistoric people in city, one half giant sloth man is reading a news paper about war, and doomsday.

CAPTION 1- And like our world, war is no stranger to the Argans.

PANEL 2-

We see a large bomb with some prehistoric scientists near it

CAPTION - One evil faction has developed a doomsday weapon!

PANEL 3-

We see a planet cracking in parts....in space, devastation.

CAPTION- Before the destruction of Argus 2.....

PAGE 4

we see 10 prehumanoids....in scientists coats.. Behind them large space craft. Half man half (excuse spelling guys) T-rex, pteranodon, brachiosaurus, tricerotops, mammoth, anklyosaurus,.raptor, females....giant sloth, sabre tooth tiger, stegasaurus.

CAPTION- 1O scientists build a spacecraft, to set out in search of a habitable planet.....

PANEL 2-

We see a space ship heading towards Earth.

PAGE 5

PANEL 1-

The spacecraft lands in NYC'S Central Park. Greeted by police, crowds, and news teams.

PANEL 2-

We see a news man

News man- We have a lot to learn about these...PREHUMANOIDS!....But who are they?

PANEL 3

We see woman anchor of nightly news show. screen in background shows Terron, half pteranodon. Man's face, pteranodon head piece, muscular build, winged, sharp talons, all black skin, Jack Kirby whited out eyes.

Anchor- It's been a year now since the PREHUMANOIDS landed on Earth from their dying planet! Their leader Terron has vowed to protect us from Jakkan, who divided the team and swore one day to rule over the humans!

PANEL 4

Jakkan and Terron in battle in the streets of NYC. Jakkan is the T-rex character.

Anchor (not seen)- Jakkan fears that we will destroy our own planet, much like what happened on his homeworld!

SamRoads
07-23-2016, 12:25 AM
Check out the Bolts and Nuts columns in www.comixtribe.com

You have a lot of things you could work on.

Panel descriptions. Pacing. Dialogue. Plot. Exposition.

Read some advice, see how much you improve from doing so! :)

sljinks
07-23-2016, 12:38 PM
Thanks for the advice Sam....greatly appreciated.

DarkHalf05
07-25-2016, 07:57 AM
I'm going to have to second Sam's recommendation. It will help your growth tremendously.

On your second page, you ask for the entire history of mankind. That's, uh, a lot of visual information to pack into a 11x15 box. In addition, what exactly do you want depicted? I'm guessing war, since that is what the overall theme of the piece seems to be. But you don't ask for that. What shapes American milestones of historical war won't be the same as Japanese.

What if your artist just finished taking art history and decided that the entirety of mankind's history should be through art? Starting off with cave paintings, some DaVinci Rex and ending with TriceraBobRoss. Specificity helps, and streamlines the time your artist will spend bringing your story to life.

sljinks
07-25-2016, 01:23 PM
Good point dark half, yeah, I didn't actually want a half man, half t-rex George Washington crossing the Delaware river scene, and stuff like that. Just a progression of these beings evolving into a modern world like ours, even the scene with the half giant sloth man reading a paper....would he be in a three piece suit?....would architecture of our world be in scene, buildings, cars, mail boxes, street lamps?....I think all of it would be different. I really don't specify it except with the pteranodon character, I don't want people picturing the characters with human bodies and dinosaur and animal heads and tails. Some have tails. They are definitely super hero's and villains in the Marvel, and D.C style. You bring up some great points. I just wonder what everybody pictures when they are reading the story. When I have submitted art, I also tell pros and editors I'm not a pro illustrator, and sketch some of the characters out to give an idea what they look like. All I get is critiques on the art, no one can get their mind off it. I guess it's like a good story with cheesy effects and bad acting in a horrible low budget film....
You just can't get your mind off it to realize the story was good. Thanks darkhalf....Scott

sljinks
07-25-2016, 09:45 PM
My wife just went to a farmers market in Allentown. Came back with great Middle Eastern food. Yes, as I feared spelled triceratops wrong and stegosaurus.

sljinks
07-25-2016, 10:05 PM
Sam, a cool English pro I talked to the other day referred to me as a squire. What the hell is a squire? I mean to you guys. That cracked me up. Scott

DarkHalf05
07-30-2016, 02:30 PM
My wife just went to a farmers market in Allentown. Came back with great Middle Eastern food.

If she didn't also come back with Kiffle Kitchen, I feel very, very sorry for you.

sljinks
07-30-2016, 04:07 PM
Yeah Dark half, no kiffle kitchen damn it!.....I used to live in South Bethlehem, when you pass the casino, pass 78 exit and enter Hellertown....few blocks down on right....Paprikas, hungarian....my best recommendation for that area....Rays pizza near Airport rd. Was good, they moved somewhere in Allentown, haven't got over there yet....Pizza reminds me of NYC, or Jersey shore (you know, boardwalk stuff), but pasta dishes oddly were not great....I'd go to Taste of Italy for pasta....Scott....What do they eat on that Prehistoric planet?

sljinks
08-14-2016, 12:32 AM
I spelled stegosaurus and triceratops wrong....Scott

sljinks
08-26-2016, 10:21 PM
FYI....Contact info....610 570 8228....email not working....Scott

sljinks
10-13-2016, 04:01 PM
Dw....please keep this up for another week....then I'll concede....thanks....a comic pro may look at it here....thanks ....Scott