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View Full Version : Some of my sequental pages.Advice welcome.


Kenanze
07-02-2016, 07:39 AM
These are some of my sequential pages I did recently. I wanted to share them with You so I can get some feedback and advice.

Also, I am a freelance comic book artist, and if anyone needs one I/m open for business :har:

http://img10.deviantart.net/2f4e/i/2016/179/e/b/page_12_le__2_by_kenanze-da7z3hg.jpg
http://img01.deviantart.net/4e98/i/2016/129/3/5/19_page_19_legacy__7_by_kenanze-da1vs4t.jpg
http://img02.deviantart.net/0c59/i/2016/129/2/0/20_page_20_legacy__7_by_kenanze-da1vsj7.jpg
http://img11.deviantart.net/4d64/i/2016/081/3/2/spider_man_page_by_kenanze-d9w2mci.jpg

Ike-Dog
07-02-2016, 06:14 PM
Very nice polish. Strong backgrounds. Solid storytelling. It works, but I would suggest more variety in your characters sizes on each page. Everyone on the page is basically the same size. Add some close ups and extreme close ups to add depth and shake it up. Given what you can do I think it will be easy for you.

IQBrawler
07-02-2016, 06:37 PM
Wow. This art is AMAZING.

I've only got a few things I can comment on:

last panel of page 2 - I think the bottom VP should have been much, much further away from your horizon. The reason the building on the right leans so far to the right is because the VP was so close.

Spider-man page - I'm assuming this is older work because it doesn't seem to have the same level of quality as the other pages. For three panels you essentially have Spider-man in the exact same pose. That really kills the energy of the page, imo. And in the first panel I can't tell if he's jumping forward in an inhuman Spidery pose or flying backwards because he's been struck.

Other than that, these look AMAZING.

Kenanze
07-03-2016, 09:56 AM
Thank you both for the compliments and the advice. I will try to avoid making the mentioned mistakes in the future.

Saul Haber
07-03-2016, 01:07 PM
Nice storytelling! I like your work.

SamRoads
07-03-2016, 06:49 PM
Page one feels like an apprentice to the other pages. The layout and compositions are blocky, flat and boring. By comparison, the other pages are lovely, with depth in the panels, interesting layouts and much nourishment for my eyes.

The lettering is not as good as the art.

Over all, great stuff.

Michael Ford
07-03-2016, 09:31 PM
You have a very nice style. Your lines are smooth, backgrounds look great and consistent, and your characters are lively. Your Spider-Man drawings are my absolute favorites of the bunch. The way you draw Spider-Man is amazing, especially with the eyes. Plus, you actually make him look nimble and fast, which is a huge accomplishment.

I only have a few suggestions for improvements. For Page 2, you could utilize your space better. It is a beautiful establishing shot, but takes up a lot of space. It also took me a long time to realize that those pigeons are the same ones in the next panel. It may work better to shift the scene more to the roof so that connection is made faster and works to your advantage. The third panel, with the close-up to the hero's face, uses up a lot of valuable space with little dialogue and little to see. The word balloons on this page should be more circular than oval. It doesn't do your artwork justice.

The only other critique that I have is to make Spider-Man's symbol larger. It blends in too much with his web pattern, making it difficult to see. Even in the last panel, where we get a close look at Spider-Man, we can't even get a good look at it.

These are strong pages. Seriously, if you told me that those Spider-Man pages were previews for an upcoming issue Marvel was putting out, I would completely believe that. These look that good. Keep up the good work and keep showing us them.

Kenanze
07-04-2016, 02:36 PM
Page one feels like an apprentice to the other pages. The layout and compositions are blocky, flat and boring. By comparison, the other pages are lovely, with depth in the panels, interesting layouts and much nourishment for my eyes.

The lettering is not as good as the art.

Over all, great stuff.

Thank you very much. Page one is done from the description of the script writer,so the panels are exactly the way he wanted them.Also I think when you look at the whole story this layout works, because It is quite an abstract book.This for example is a dream sequence and I think that the layout of the panels is like this for a reason.

Kenanze
07-04-2016, 02:45 PM
You have a very nice style. Your lines are smooth, backgrounds look great and consistent, and your characters are lively. Your Spider-Man drawings are my absolute favorites of the bunch. The way you draw Spider-Man is amazing, especially with the eyes. Plus, you actually make him look nimble and fast, which is a huge accomplishment.

I only have a few suggestions for improvements. For Page 2, you could utilize your space better. It is a beautiful establishing shot, but takes up a lot of space. It also took me a long time to realize that those pigeons are the same ones in the next panel. It may work better to shift the scene more to the roof so that connection is made faster and works to your advantage. The third panel, with the close-up to the hero's face, uses up a lot of valuable space with little dialogue and little to see. The word balloons on this page should be more circular than oval. It doesn't do your artwork justice.

The only other critique that I have is to make Spider-Man's symbol larger. It blends in too much with his web pattern, making it difficult to see. Even in the last panel, where we get a close look at Spider-Man, we can't even get a good look at it.

These are strong pages. Seriously, if you told me that those Spider-Man pages were previews for an upcoming issue Marvel was putting out, I would completely believe that. These look that good. Keep up the good work and keep showing us them.

Thank you very much,I will definitely take your advice into consideration. Here are the two remaining pages from the Spiderman 3-paged mini story.I found the script online, unfortunately I don't know the name of the creator so I cant give him/her credit.
http://img09.deviantart.net/7eb9/i/2016/101/8/7/lizard_by_kenanze-d9yjlpu.jpg
http://img09.deviantart.net/febe/i/2016/125/8/4/marvel___3_by_kenanze-da1e8wn.jpg