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View Full Version : Scripting Jam: Issue 1


Steven Forbes
06-25-2016, 11:37 PM
P1

Panel 1: This is an extreme close-up of a pair of alien eyes. They have a triangular shape to them, animalistic. There's a reflection in the pupils of a boy of about ten. The boy is holding a flashlight that's pointed down (out of the eyes), and has a smile on his face. I'm not particular about what the boy, Samuel, looks like or what he's wearing.

Samuel: There you are! I was looking all over for you. You shouldn't be out here like this. There are bad things in these woods.

Caption: Yes. Bad things like me.

Caption: I could tear your throat out and slake my thirst on your blood. But that wouldn't be right. That's not why I'm here.

fourth_world
06-26-2016, 03:02 AM
PANEL TWO
Again, this is the same close-up of the aliens eyes except now in the reflection SAMUEL is up close staring right into the alien's eyes.

SAMUEL: Huh...You're not as talkative as before.

SAMUEL: What's your deal?

SAMUEL: Hello?...Is this thing on?

KevinLeeMcDougall
06-26-2016, 05:03 AM
PANEL THREE

Zoom out. From behind. Samuel, torch in back pocket, trying to push a hairy, two-armed, five-legged purple beast through the woods, which are lit up by the light of approaching police sirens.

CAPTION: Children... if only I wasn't here to save you pesky things. Then I WOULD slake my thirst.

SAMUEL: MOOVEEE!

CAPTION: Rrrgggh... I do have legs. More than you.

Morganza
06-26-2016, 01:18 PM
PANEL 4

View from inside a police car, from the back seat we see the silhouette of the officer driving as he responds to a radio call, ahead of them we see Samuel and the Alien running across a dirt road. Samuel is African-American, wearing a red t-shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes.

RADIO: ...be advised, male child, ten years old, last seen near Miller Park...

OFFICER: Dispatch!! I found him, he's g-- JESUS CHRIST!!

OFFICER: ...I'm going to need back up!

Kiyoko, Rin
06-29-2016, 04:43 PM
Yay, I get to do the 1st edit! (In your face, gmartyt!)

PANEL THREE

Zoom out. From behind. Samuel, torch in back pocket, trying to push a hairy, two-armed, five-legged purple beast through the woods, which are lit up by the headlights of an approaching police car. sirens.

CAPTION: Children... if only I wasn't here to save you pesky things. Then I WOULD slake my thirst.

SAMUEL: MOOVEEE!

CAPTION: Rrrgggh... I do have legs. More than you.

SFX (off panel police siren): AWOR-AWOR-AWOR*

*Or however you'd transcribe this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onvBQ-zD0Us).

PANEL 5.
Close up of the officer's angry face as he snarls into the radio. There should be a lot of dramatic energy in this panel - spit flying, tongue furled, emotive shading etc.

OFFICER: Lots of back up!

OFFICER (burst): Bring out the mother ******* big guns!

gmartyt
07-09-2016, 02:29 AM
Yay, I get to do the 1st edit! (In your face, gmartyt!)

Dastard! Always one step ahead!

P1

Panel 1: This is an extreme close-up of a pair of alien eyes. (Time of day? Setting? Are the eyes attached to anything, like a face, or are they just floating?) They have a triangular shape to them, animalistic. There's a reflection in the pupils of a boy of about ten. The boy is holding a flashlight that's pointed down (out of the eyes)(Is the flashlight on?), and has a smile on his face. (How far away is the boy? Would we be able to see his facial expression? Where is he looking?) I'm not particular about what the boy, Samuel, looks like or what he's wearing.

Samuel: There you are! I was looking all over for you. You shouldn't be out here like this. There are bad things in these woods.

Caption: Yes. Bad things like me.

Caption: I could tear your throat out and slake my thirst on your blood. But that wouldn't be right. That's not why I'm here. (That's a lot of words for an extreme close-up...)(Let me know if I'm being a dick.)

Panel 6. Shot from inside the car near the windshield. There are a pair of red, alien-looking eyes (different from the other ones) low on the back seat. The shadows are darker around where the eyes are, so that it looks like there is something there. The officer is still snarling into the radio. (This script is hereby claimed by the U.S.)

RADIO(ELEC):
Calm down, officer. Backup is on its way.

OFFICER:
Don't you tell me to calm down! The kid's got--Sam's got--