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danieleastman
05-11-2016, 08:31 AM
So, here's a part of a script I wrote about a week ago that I decided against following through on. This is a rough draft mish-mash of ideas. I'm not bothering to edit it, touch it up or proofread it because a better idea came along and that's where I want to put my money. If you want to use it, that's okay. Just credit me for concept or whatever. Anyway, this one's called The Mighty Sparrow. Yes, the name and inspiration comes from a Ted Leo song. Regardless, input and thoughts are both appreciated. OH! Fair warning for bad language. Here's a link to the full script if you're interested.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/uly33k762oawkta/The%20Mighty%20Sparrow.docx?dl=0

PAGE ONE

P1.
Exterior. Night. We’re overlooking, hovering above, the West Philly train tracks, old storefronts and billboards on both sides with Center City Philadelphia’s skyline in the background. And down there, on the street below, a WOMAN’S voice cries out.

WOMAN (off-panel)
AAAIIIIIEEEEE!!!!

P2.
On the street now, we see a heavyset, naked and snarling African American MAN with glossy eyes and blood dripping from his teeth chasing an African American woman in an evening gown, as if this bare-assed zombie of a man had chased her out of bed into the street.

NARRATION
One might confused this for a zombie.

P3.
The naked MAN tackles the helpless WOMAN attempting to bite her face off as she holds out her arms for protection.

NARRATION
No. Not zombies.

NARRATION
Just good old-fashioned bath salts.

P4.
Distracted by being called out by an onlooker, the MAN looks up from his would-be victim, somewhat dumbfounded. We see THE SPARROW’S fist clenched, a black glove loosely wrapped with athletic tape ready to brawl.

SPARROW (off-panel)
Hey.
Eat this.

P5.
Tight shot of the MAN screaming wildly as he darts at us!

MAN
RAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

PAGE TWO

P1.
SPLASH

Appearing on the page now, THE SPARROW—dressed in ripped tights, combat boots, and a flight jacket with black costume wings on her back—uppercuts the vicious naked MAN so hard he’s propelled several feet backward. All the while, she’s still hovering mid-air.

The other WOMAN, frightened to tears in her lacy sleeping gown, is running away toward us as well.

In the background we have the nighttime lights of the elevated train platform and the tiptop of the skyline we can see from these outskirts of the city.

MAN
Uhhhn!!!

PAGE THREE

P1.
Rolling over and making his way to his feet, the MAN attempts to chase the WOMAN once again.

P2.
Close up: THE SPARROW’S hands clasp around hia torso from behind.

P3.
In an intense, battle-ending moment, THE SPARROW executes a flawless, badass German suplex without her feet ever touching the ground!

P4.
Triumphantly, she stands on the ground now posing with her fists on her hips and one foot on the MAN’S chest pinning him down.

NARRATION
Bath salts. 
PAGE FOUR

P1.
Tight shot of THE SPARROW seeing police in the distance, sirens wailing.

NARRATION
Sirens wail in the distance.

P2.
Flying up, up and away from the street and the police noise below, THE SPARROW cups her hands over her ears to shield from the sounds. As she’s flying she appears dazed, at a loss for control.

NARRATION
Noise cues the nausea.

NARRATION
Her stomach turns like a shoe stuck in quicksand.

NARRATION
She knows if she could just get away, she’d be all right.

SamRoads
05-11-2016, 10:41 PM
If it's not polished, I'll pass on reading it.

I did notice loads of film script language, which tends not to be appropriate for comic scripts.

Good luck!