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View Full Version : Comments, advice and critiques welcome.


Kenanze
05-08-2016, 02:55 PM
Hello, my name is Kenan Halilović and I am a freelance artist. This is my first thread on DW and I want to share a few of my recent sequential art with other artists here on DW. I'm hoping to get some constructive critiques,and any advice that could help me improve my work. Thank you in advance. :)
If you want to see more of my work, here is a link to my DA gallery http://kenanze.deviantart.com/gallery/



http://pre09.deviantart.net/974d/th/pre/i/2016/081/3/2/spider_man_page_by_kenanze-d9w2mci.jpg

http://pre11.deviantart.net/905f/th/pre/i/2016/101/8/7/lizard_by_kenanze-d9yjlpu.jpg

http://pre07.deviantart.net/cff2/th/pre/i/2016/125/8/4/marvel___3_by_kenanze-da1e8wn.jpg

DJA
05-08-2016, 06:50 PM
These are cool man! Maybe dirty up the sewer a lil bit?

Kenanze
05-09-2016, 03:20 AM
These are cool man! Maybe dirty up the sewer a lil bit?

Thanks. You are right, I must have been too caught up with drawing all the bricks ,I missed something that obvious :har:

Toondoctor
05-12-2016, 09:05 AM
This is very good work.

Kenanze
05-12-2016, 09:46 AM
This is very good work.
Thank you very much :)

Afro
05-12-2016, 11:11 AM
These are pretty good. I like the energy of it and the how detailed the space is. I like the first panel the most but I wasn't sure if he's jumping towards something (since there's no webbing or splashing water) or if he got knocked back. It's very cool looking though but spidey is just floating there at least in relation to the next panel. I like the next four panels there your style has a lot of energy to it.

The splash page is awesome too, but when I looked at it. It doesn't look like the floor comes to where the Lizard's feet should meet. Like you drew the back leg receeding but the floor is way below that so he floating pretty much. I think it would have been helpful to make him as big but give him some space in relation to spidey and to help set you up for your next panel.

I'm a fan of fight scenes myself so this is mainly my opinion but you have so much build up and give yourself so much room that the last page seems rushed. I like the spidey flip over the lizard though, but I don't know about letting the leg overlap the panel border like that, since it makes me go to the panel underneath it instead of the one that comes after it. So again, I like it overall but that's just some nitpicky details. I'm curious if you inked that on a computer or with a pen? The lines are really crisp. Keep posting!

Kenanze
05-12-2016, 01:28 PM
These are pretty good. I like the energy of it and the how detailed the space is. I like the first panel the most but I wasn't sure if he's jumping towards something (since there's no webbing or splashing water) or if he got knocked back. It's very cool looking though but spidey is just floating there at least in relation to the next panel. I like the next four panels there your style has a lot of energy to it.

The splash page is awesome too, but when I looked at it. It doesn't look like the floor comes to where the Lizard's feet should meet. Like you drew the back leg receeding but the floor is way below that so he floating pretty much. I think it would have been helpful to make him as big but give him some space in relation to spidey and to help set you up for your next panel.

I'm a fan of fight scenes myself so this is mainly my opinion but you have so much build up and give yourself so much room that the last page seems rushed. I like the spidey flip over the lizard though, but I don't know about letting the leg overlap the panel border like that, since it makes me go to the panel underneath it instead of the one that comes after it. So again, I like it overall but that's just some nitpicky details. I'm curious if you inked that on a computer or with a pen? The lines are really crisp. Keep posting!

Thank you for the compliments and the advice. I get what you mean in all of them, and you are dead on. Something I would never be able to notice by myself. It is very helpful and something to think about in my future work. The inking is done on pc with wacom cintiq 13 HD. These 3 pages are from an internet sample 3 page script, so there will be no more pages of this story but I will definitely post my work on other pages I do.

Afro
05-12-2016, 02:10 PM
Thank you for the compliments and the advice. I get what you mean in all of them, and you are dead on. Something I would never be able to notice by myself. It is very helpful and something to think about in my future work. The inking is done on pc with wacom cintiq 13 HD. These 3 pages are from an internet sample 3 page script, so there will be no more pages of this story but I will definitely post my work on other pages I do.

That's good to hear. I don't usually give my opinions much as it's usually a subjective thing for someone's art style. But I also understand the pursuit to see where you can take your art and storytelling style. So glad to help and hope to see more.

Bishop
05-12-2016, 02:17 PM
I like the spidey flip over the lizard though, but I don't know about letting the leg overlap the panel border like that, since it makes me go to the panel underneath it instead of the one that comes after it. So again, I like it overall but that's just some nitpicky details. I'm curious if you inked that on a computer or with a pen? The lines are really crisp. Keep posting!

I like this panel, and the whole set of pages, myself. My concern for this panel is that the action, and dialog reads from right to left. Maybe the panel should be flipped so it reads left to right? When I first got the that page I read "Daisy!" first and was a little confused.

Nice work!

Afro
05-12-2016, 04:57 PM
I like this panel, and the whole set of pages, myself. My concern for this panel is that the action, and dialog reads from right to left. Maybe the panel should be flipped so it reads left to right? When I first got the that page I read "Daisy!" first and was a little confused.

Nice work!

I can see that, but my eye went to the lizard first so I read it backwards. But bishop, you have a point where following all the action to the right it throws off reading the next panel for a bit. I like that there's a lot of background here, but maybe it would help to have that panel be more confined or split into three panels?

Kenanze
05-12-2016, 05:21 PM
I like this panel, and the whole set of pages, myself. My concern for this panel is that the action, and dialog reads from right to left. Maybe the panel should be flipped so it reads left to right? When I first got the that page I read "Daisy!" first and was a little confused.

Nice work!

I get what you mean, I also thought at one point I should reverse the action because Spidey is jumping towards the left side, I guess I saw Lizard as the main "action maker" who is attacking from left to right. Kinda tough to decide, because even if I would reverse this panel, still it would seem the action is going form right to left, only the dialogue would be more natural - which now when I say it makes more sense and is the better way :laugh:

Bishop
05-12-2016, 05:38 PM
I get what you mean, I also thought at one point I should reverse the action because Spidey is jumping towards the left side, I guess I saw Lizard as the main "action maker" who is attacking from left to right. Kinda tough to decide, because even if I would reverse this panel, still it would seem the action is going form right to left, only the dialogue would be more natural - which now when I say it makes more sense and is the better way :laugh:

:D

Yeah, both are showing action, but you have three action shots of Spidey in motion. That makes me see him as the focus of the panel.