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View Full Version : Writing Challenge--Flashback--Ends 1/23/16


Steven Forbes
01-13-2016, 11:10 PM
New year, new writing challenge!

What we're going to do this time around is write a tale with a flashback. Simple, right? Here are the terms:

-The (comic) story cannot be longer than 5 pages
-The flashback cannot be longer than 3 pages
-Any genre is welcome
-The word "rotund" must be used in dialogue
-There must be a ferret somewhere

Post all the questions and scripts in this thread.

Let's have some fun!

Gene Patrick
01-19-2016, 08:15 PM
RIMWORLD TALES #1
By Gene Patrick

Fan comic for the amazing, funny, super detailed and addicting space colony simulator Rimworld by Ludeon studios.


PAGE ONE

PANEL 1

Zoomed out view. On a dry and arid shrubland stands a large but modest rimworld colony, made mostly of concrete and corrugated steel sheeting. It is badly damaged, smoldering and burned. People can be seen repairing walls and hauling around corpses.

CAPTION: Rimworld Tynan, colony of Crashville.

CAPTION: DAY 702

PANEL 2

Total darkness, voices can he heard.

OFF-PANEL: Is he going to be okay?

OFF-PANEL: He has experienced a lot of trauma but should be conscious soon.

PANEL 3

POV of someone opening their eyes, the view is fuzzy and unclear. Two figures are standing over them.

FIGURE LEFT: He’s coming to.

FIGURE RIGHT: You’re going to be okay, sir! The doc fixed you right up!

PANEL 4

Same POV. The picture has become clear, they are in an infirmary. On the left is an aging brunette woman in a white doctor’s coat, her hair is going gray. She wears red glasses and looks very serious. She holds a clipboard ,to her right is a sweaty young man with greasy black hair. He wears old, beat up power armor. There is rifle slung over his shoulder and a helmet clipped to his belt.

DOUG: Stop yelling…

DR.ANNE : Good to see you back with us, Mr.Winger.

PANEL 5

Doug winger lays there in his hospital bed with an exhausted face, his ginger hair and beard overgrown. He has bruises and cuts all over, his forehead wrapped in a bloody bandage. The doctor stands next to his bed, Doug’s right arm off panel and out of view.

CAPTION: Doug “Big Red” Winger, Colony Patrol

DOUG: I feel like I was trampled by muffalo…

DR.ANNE : My name is Dr. Anne, do you remember what happened?
Do you remember the raid?”


PAGE TWO

PANEL 1

Close up of doug’s troubled face as he remembers.

DOUG: The raid…

PANEL 2

Muted color flashback panel of Doug. He fires a rifle,a few other colonists at his side; the concrete wall he used for cover is struck with a hail of gunfire, a dead ferret lays at its base in a pool of blood.

DOUG: FALL BACK INSIDE! INSIDE NOW!

PANEL 3

Doug laying in his hospital bed, right arm still out of view.

DOUG: I was in engineering to help re-route the sprinklers. I got shot, there was fire everywhere.

PANEL 4

Muted color flashback of doug, he barely holds himself up against a table. He clutches at a gunshot wound in his side. Smoke looms and fire burns all around him.

PANEL 5

Doug’s scruffy, bruised face again. He looks a bit scared.

DOUG: There was an old man with an axe...

PANEL 6

Muted color flashback of doug on his knees, attempting to block an axe attack from a grizzly old raider. The old man has long wild gray hair and is missing an eye. He wields a large fireman’s axe with half the handle cut off, he screams like a crazy person as he swings at Doug with it.


PAGE THREE

PANEL 1

Larger Panel from Doug’s POV. The doctor and young guard still standing at his bed sides.The young man saluting, he has a happy puppy dog quality to him.

DR.ANNE: You are very lucky to be alive and you have this young man to thank for it.

REDFIELDS: A.J. Redfields,Sir! Just doing my job,Sir.

DOUG: Thank you...

PANEL 2

Close up muted color flashback panel. Redfields cranks open a valve with a crowbar, water pouring down.

PANEL 3

Another muted color flashback panel. Redfields fires his gun from cover behind large red piping and a wooden crate.

PANEL 4

Another muted flashback. The grizzly old raider runs off down a hallway, Redfields’ shots missing him and striking the wall beside him. A steam pipe bursts.

PANEL 5

Close up panel of the doctor. She has a very stern look and holds her glasses in her hand.

DR.ANNE: Pleasantries aside, there is no easy way for me to tell you this, Mr.Winger…

PANEL 6

Doug is sitting up with a worried face as he listens to the doctor, his right side still out of view.

DR.ANNE: When you were attacked your right arm was severed. We weren’t able to save it so we replaced it.


PAGE FOUR

PANEL 1

Very large panel revealing Doug’s bionic arm. It is made of dark gray metal and lookS fairly advanced. Doug yells, looking over at his arm in horror.

DOUG: WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO ME!?

PANEL 2

Dr.Anne is now yelling at Doug.

DR.ANNE: You need to remain calm, Mr.Winger!

PANEL 3

Redfields smiling nervously, sweating profusely.

REDFIELDS: Don’t worry,Sir; it actually looks pretty cool. Honest!

PANEL 4

Doug looks down at his arm in disbelief while the doctor injected him with the needle end of a medicine pack.

DOUG: Just stop talking, kid…

DR.ANNE: I’m giving you a shot for the pain, get dressed and come back tomorrow afternoon for some tests. Mr. Redfields will escort you out.


PAGE FIVE

PANEL 1

Doug and Redfields walk along a concrete corridor, the walls are scorched and damaged. An overweight raider’s body sits slumped against the wall. Doug holds his bionic shoulder with his other arm as they walk.

DOUG: This whole place has gone to hell.

REDFIELDS: Eighteen dead, six injured in all. Clean up has been slow,Sir.

DOUG: I guess no one wanted to carry this one.

REDFIELDS: Too, uhh, rotund, Sir. I’ll get someone right on it, Sir.

PANEL 2

Doug is very angry, he grabs Redfields by the collar and yells in his face.

DOUG: What briefing?! And why the hell do you keep calling me Sir! I’m just patrol leader!

PANEL 3

Redfields stares back at him with a dumb blank look, Doug’s spittle on his face.

REDFIELDS: Sir...Commander Fox was caught in the explosions, he died this morning. Captains Griff, Ace, and Hayhouse were all killed during the raid…
PANEL 4

Close up panel of Doug. He has a shocked look on his face.

REDFIELDS: You outrank everyone in the colony, you’re in charge now… Commander.

PANEL 5

Close up panel of Doug. Doug is face palming with his bionic arm.

DOUG: This can’t be happening…

PANEL 6

Close up panel of Doug. He had forgotten about his arm for a moment, the feeling of it on his face catches him by surprise. He stared at it with a startled look, It really freaked him out.


(END)