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KevinLeeMcDougall
10-12-2015, 04:47 PM
One Page Wonder
He Who Is Like God
By Kevin Lee McDougall
www.kevinleemcdougall.deviantart.com


PANEL ONE (Wide side shot): Softness, pale, self-effacing, introspective: a venerative man standing at the edge of a ridge, gazing into a deep lake.

1. CAPTION: I stand on the brink of death once more.


PANEL TWO (Close-up): The lake has begun to appear as a black abyss.


PANEL THREE (Close-up): Images start to form out of the abyss-like lake. First: blood dripping, a crucifix, a man atop it, tortured.

2. CAPTION: The long suffering...


PANEL FOUR (Close-up): Second: a throned God engulfed in a flood of light, four silhouetted figures behind, two at either side.

3. CAPTION: I am one of the beasts that stand in the presence.


PANEL FIVE (Close-up): Third: A sullen fallen angel sat brooding upon a mound of earth. His names are imprinted in white upon a darkness he is surrounded by: Lucifer, Satan, Devil, Ibis.

4. CAPTION: Many will know me by my many known names and titles.


PANEL SIX (Close-up): Fourth: a crowned warrior in battle armour, head held high to the heavens, elbows by hips, forearms stretched out in front, palms facing up: a grandiose statement of holiness.

5. CAPTION: To some I am a king, and I have been a king.

6. OFF PANEL: MEGAS ALEXANDROS!

PANEL SEVEN (Wide side shot): End of images from the abyss-like lake. Man standing tilted over the edge of the ridge, dropping towards the water with arms out by side.

7. CAPTION: Only do the few know me by my appointed name.

PANEL EIGHT: A large splash. The man has submerged completely in the water.

8. CAPTION: Who am I?

PANEL NINE: Dripping water falling down past an ascending red and blue streak. Above it floating, none other than a drenched Man of Steel.

9. CAPTION: I am Michael The Archangel and my time WILL come!

B-McKinley
10-13-2015, 04:44 PM
Close-up generally refers to a view of just part of a character (generally the head), so most of the panels you have marked as close-up would not be close-ups.

Iblis. Ibis is a bird.

Elbows by hips doesn't make sense proportionally/anatomically.

The man can not stand tilted and drop towards the water in the same panel.

The splash in 8 seems caused by someone entering water, but the dripping water in 9 seems to caused by someone exiting water?

Nine is also written in a passive voice that makes it really hard to visualize. Put the emphasis on the subject taking action. So Man of Steel soars away from the surface of the lake. Rivulets of water stream off of him and he leaves a red and blue streak behind him.