View Full Version : Looking for critique

08-05-2015, 05:01 PM
Hey guys,

This is a page from Issue #3 of Lesbian Zombies from Outer Space - a limited series comic book that I have in the works. I'm trying to improve my lettering technique, so I'd appreciate any feedback and suggestions.

FYI: the artwork will be colored, and currently the inks are at about 80% opacity so the dialog will stand out.

I'm particularly irked by the last panel, the bubble with multiple speakers. Does that look funky, and is there a better way to do it?



08-05-2015, 08:29 PM
I think the shape and the stacking of text is fine.

Not a fan of the tails. Try a more even/smooth curve, especially in panel 4. And check consistency of the thickness, i.e. panel 4 vs. panel 5 tails. Here's a tip (http://www.balloontales.com/tips/tails_joins/index.html) for drawing tails.

I think the last panel is fine, if your intention is them speaking at the same time, but perhaps you can do something with the text/balloon to make their yelling pop a little.

Nice artwork btw :-]

08-05-2015, 10:24 PM
Thanks, will take a look at that link. Yes, tails are another thing that I'm not super comfortable with yet.

Also: the art work is all thanks to Wayne A. Brown. :)

08-06-2015, 04:46 AM
Also: the art work is all thanks to Wayne A. Brown. :)

You badly need to speak to Wayne about his composition —the main problem with the lettering is that you lose the reading order of the balloons, or are forced into really ugly placements by the fact that the panel compositions completely disregard the 'first speaker on the left' rule and don't provide anything like enough dead space for the lettering to work with.

Panels 3 and 4 suffer particularly, but I'm really not sure how much better they could be, given the issues with the composition.

08-06-2015, 04:07 PM
Hi Jim,

Part of it is definitely my fault. I did not consistently write things left to right in the script. For instance: Panel 2. Since the Priest speaks first, I guess he should have been drawn (and written in the script) as on the left. However, I do prefer this blocking visually, and I think the dialog balloons work here, no? Panels 3 & 4 definitely gave me the most trouble though.