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LucaSLZ
05-03-2015, 04:02 PM
http://img09.deviantart.net/ce69/i/2015/123/7/1/paage_3_inks_by_lucaslz-d8s0qru.jpg

MattTriano
05-03-2015, 04:54 PM
Your drawing needs a lot of work but you're a good storyteller, a careful compositor.
Is this the first page? Where is the girl in the other room with the beaded curtains? Wait is the thing I'm reading as a door behind the guy in pnl 1 meant to be the beaded curtain at rest?
A lot of fakery here, takes away from drama. Things like her hand in pnl 1, pose in pnl 5, pant leg and shoes in pnl 6.
Reference everything, then warp to your style; think Pixar. Draw from life, draw people, take photo ref of everything you need including photos of yourself in various poses; no one is there to police how much work you put in behind the scenes except you, but it invariably shows in the finishes. Be more curious.
Nice lighting and pacing, I think the shots are good too particularly pnl 3 where the gun intersects the knife hand.
Good thinking overall. Thanks for sharing, post more!

M

LucaSLZ
05-03-2015, 05:56 PM
thanks! really, this kind of comment is what i was looking for when i joined this forum.This is the third page and i can see a lot of errors and bad anatomy,but i'm working hard everyday for improve. I will post more pages in future and i'd like to know your opinions. Thanks again!