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View Full Version : ANT: My tentative webcomic idea


LukePierce
02-20-2015, 08:20 AM
Hi all,

Who knew that sailing around on the seven seas and shooting pirates in the face with an oversized gun would stop posting or commenting on things?

While on-watch, with my anti-flash gear on, I scribbled down a tentative idea I've had for a webcomic I've called Ant.

It's basically slice-of-life, with appropriate funny bits, about a guy who suffered a terrible break up (that gets alluded to but never seen) and just wants his own company to think things through. However, his flat mates have other ideas.
I'm not doing this as an out-and-out comedy, as my humour is a bit too weird and twisted, so I'm trying to see if I can tone things down a bit.

I'm also intending to illustrate this myself as the 4 panel newspaper format seems to suit my style better.

Anyhow:

ANT #1

Panel 1

Ant is spread out on his bed, a knocking sound is “heard”.

1 Voice: Ant?

2 Voice: Ant, Are you there?

Panel 2
Repeat of panel 1.

3 Voice: Look, I know you’re on your bed.

Panel 3
Ant has sat up and is shouting angrily towards his bedroom door.

4 Ant: Are you spying on me?!

Panel 4
Ant has a look of resignation on his face.

5 Voice: No.

6 Voice: Just guessing.


ANT #2

Panel 1
Ant is standing at his bedroom door, arms folded. Em, his flatmate, has a concerned look.

1 Em: Ant, you need to be getting out there.

2 Em: That girl hurt you too much.

Panel 2
Ant looks away from Em, gritting his teeth in defiance.

3 Ant: I’m fine.

Panel 3
Em puts a comforting hand on Ant.

4 Em: Crying loudly isn’t fine, we all heard you.

Panel 4
Ant looks embarrassed as does Em.

5 Ant: Em, that was “man time”…

ANT #3

Panel 1
Em is dragging a reluctant Ant out of the apartment.

1 Em: We need to get you outside! Meet some girls!

Panel 2
Em is still dragging Ant along. To the right of the frame, a beautiful woman appears.

2 Em (faded): blablablablablabla

Panel 3
Em has stopped dragging Ant and they are both watching the woman walk by with their eyes open wide.

No copy.

Panel 4
Ant looks delighted and has a thumbs up gesture. Em is slapping her forehead.

3 Ant: Or, y’know, I can stay here!

4 Em: Great…

Schuyler
02-20-2015, 11:14 AM
You are drawing it yourself, so I see no reason to bug you about panel descriptions, or anything else really. Except that when I read the panel descriptions, the book sounds static. Like the images are an afterthought.

I like the dialogue.

-Sky

Kiyoko, Rin
02-20-2015, 07:26 PM
I think the second strip works and is funny.

I think the first strip needs work - "just guessing" that a man in his bedroom would be on his bed doesn't (to me) sound like a massive leap of intuition. Therefore, I didn't get much payoff from the line.

When I first read strip 3, I thought it was funny. When I read it a second time, I thought it undermines your precis (you say he wants his own company to think things through... except he decides to stay put because there's a pretty woman he hopes to share company with).

When I read the third strip for the third time, I realised it might depend on location - does Em drag Ant outside the building or outside to the hallway? The beautiful woman would be either passing through a location, or in a fixed location, so Ant's decision to stay put can mean two different things.

I think the series has potential.

gmartyt
02-21-2015, 01:47 AM
The first strip doesn't establish what the series is about. Without you explanation, I'd have no idea what it's about.

The third strip doesn't make much sense. Ant starts out as reluctant to leave and ends even more reluctant to leave. Em starts by saying that Ant needs to meet girls, but gets upset when he shows interest in one.

Hope this helps.

LukePierce
02-26-2015, 06:16 AM
I agree with all of those points and, even though I have come up with a few more strips, I've gone back to correct them.

So address it:

#1, he's asked about moping about the girl and whether it would be better if he was spied on.

#3, changed to getting him outside failing (kind of like a shoutout to Avenue Q - if you know that particular song).

The woman who appears in #3 returns and she's going to perennially be known as the "woman". Ant will clearly fancy her, but circumstances will mean that they will never date and never get beyond meeting in some circumstances.

Hopefully the idea will carry on in a decent vein, it seems a bit too worringly simple to write...