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bbrice
12-18-2014, 09:28 AM
Hello everyone,

After messing around with Illustrator for a while and reading and analyzing as much as I could about Lettering, I decided to take a hand at some comic pages, so I asked a friend to let me do some pages from her comic (in spanish) that she letters herself. Taking into account her lettering style, I decided to make most balloons with a roughen effect to compliment her intent, but other than that I took some liberties with the balloon placements and styling. (I also translated the text too, so I'm sorry in advance if you notice any engrish phrases or terms)

Page 1
http://i.imgur.com/MyG4ZCt.jpg

Page 2
http://i.imgur.com/VXsYJYd.jpg

Page 3
http://i.imgur.com/sKHMk7t.jpg

Page 4
http://i.imgur.com/GlTLKKU.jpg

I'm looking for any feedback that might help me to improve my craft. From my view I'm not very happy with a few balloon tails here and there but maybe that's just me being too self-critical. Perhaps there are other mistakes around the pages, so I'm looking for more experienced opinions.

Credit for the pages goes to María José Barros and her comic http://obsidianacomic.com/

Thanks in advance for the help.
-Bernardo.

Tomas M91
12-18-2014, 08:15 PM
This page does look pretty good to me. You set the flow pretty well and each balloon leads to the next, which is really good. There are a few balloon tails which, like you said, need a bit of improvement. These are mainly the long, straight ones, which might work better if you add a curve to them.

The main thing which stands out is the second last page, on the first panel, the stacking of the balloons. You have all the ones on the left above the ones on the right. They should be stacked so the right one is on top of the left, which is on top of the right, etc. Essentially, the person talking should have their balloon on top of the person who just finished talking. Make sense?

I'm pretty new to lettering as well so I could be wrong in all this :)

bbrice
12-19-2014, 09:56 AM
I definitely see that mistake on the stacking of the balloons. I'll fix it when I get the chance.

Thank you Tomas.

Mike B
12-19-2014, 10:50 AM
From a reader standpoint, (I am NOT a letterer, nor do I pretend to be), it mostly flows nice and it tracked well across the pages.
There were a few times where, because of the font choice, it was a slower read. For instance, when there are Fs, Hs, and Us, they seem very blocky to me and it just wasn't pleasing to the eye, but again, I may be making something out of nothing.

There were some issues with the writing itself that you may want to have an editor look at.

For instance:
"I'm sick of your uncalled behavior" isn't correct, also I have never heard the term "talking out of your hat", it should be "talking out of your ass" unless I'm unaware of something.

Over all though, I thought it looked nice- keep it up!

bbrice
12-19-2014, 12:13 PM
RE: Font > I guess some letters looks blockier due the size output/save for web feature, but I can see your point.

RE: Writing terms > I'm aware of that, since the original comic is in spanish and I'm focusing only on the lettering aspect, I translated all the dialogue on the go, hence some terms don't localize easily on english or there's no immediate equivalent. I'll try to translate them better next time.

Thanks for the feedback.

Comics Commando
12-19-2014, 03:54 PM
Your stuff seems to be pretty solid. You have a good head start.



Kurt Hathaway
---------------------------------
Cartoon Balloons Studio
---------------------------------
Lettering • Logos • Pre-Press • Graphic Design • Video
for Print or Web • Entertainment, Advertising or Education!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETGevjPkZso

http://www.cartoon-balloons.com

bbrice
12-20-2014, 09:34 PM
Thank you, Kurt!