View Full Version : Harvey Dent: Red Right Hand

Luke Noonan
06-29-2014, 10:16 PM
Here is something I just finished for a press who require a script with established characters in it for consideration, before I get to work on their own characters or introduce any of my own. I thought I'd post it for here for comments as well.
It's about Harvey Two-Face, and it's in his underused time as a vigilante during the Face the Face arc (details of this whole incident are broken down here: http://scans-daily.dreamwidth.org/3001536.html

Harvey Dent: Red Right Hand

PAGE 1: six panels.

PANEL 1: page-wide establishing shot of grass and undergrowth on the outskirts of Gotham, with the familiar big city skyline filling the b/g. It’s night-time, and the scene is brightly lit by the moon. There’s a very light drizzle of rain. The city skyline has the familiar blimp and moody offices and skyscrapers but NO Bat-signal. Fireworks of red, green and gold are exploding over the city.

CAP (police band): *...ten-ten, disturbance with possible shots fired on Seacord Avenue, twenty-one Charlie respond...*

CAP (police band) *...unit eighty-two Baker: ten-eleven at Drumgo Jewellers, nineteen Forest Way, with possible intruders on premises...*

CAP (police band): *...ten-fifty-seven, ambulance required at thirty-nine Thames Cross Street...*

CAP (police band) *...unit ninety-three Kelly: ten-fifty-eight at the corner of Edgar and Wallace, report of assault by four to five black males in their late teens, thought to be armed, report of shots fired at ambulance, unit respond...*

CAP (Harvey): This is a special day for us. This is when it began.

PANEL 2: medium shot of Harvey Dent on his motorbike in his flak vest and leather (see visual ref) and he is putting his crash helmet on with head lowered so we can’t see his face. Though his bike has no headlight, he is lit by the moonlight.

CAP (Harvey): It’s not my birthday. Not my graduation day, or wedding day, or the day I proposed to Gilda. It’s not the day I first killed. Or first broke the law by looking the other way.

CAP (Harvey, in italics): This is the day I was made. The day I stopped pretending.

PANEL 3: med-shot of Harvey from the front as he has just wheeled the bike around on a grassy slope, he and the bike facing down the slope, though he is looking to his left (towards the right of the panel). We can see the lights of an approaching train reflected in the black visor of his helmet, and cast over his black leather jacket and the black metal of the bike.

CAP (Harvey): To stop trying to be in control, to let go of the wheel, and just let the pieces fall wherever, that takes balls.

CAP (Harvey, in italics): Or madness.

CAP (Harvey): To stop running from the world, and just to face it, head on...


PANEL 4: long-shot of Harvey as he speeds the bike down the slope towards several sets of train-tracks which disappear into a wide tunnel, while a subway train covered in graffiti speeds towards the tunnel. From the distance between Harvey and the track and between the train and the tunnel, he is cutting it very fine, as they are all close to their destination.


PANEL 5: med-shot of Harvey as he speeds across the track just in front of the oncoming train. We are directly facing the train. In the driver’s carriage, the aging male train driver looks outraged at Harvey.

CAP (Harvey, in italics): That’s not so crazy.

SFX (from tracks): BZZ-ZZ-ZZ-ZZ

SFX (from the bike’s tyres): hssssssss

PANEL 6: med-shot from the side, as Harvey speeds along the tunnel on the bike, facing from the right of the panel towards the left, while the train also speeds along beside him in the very close b/g. The tyres of the motorbike are smouldering. We can see the occupants of the carriage are, spaced evenly around, a homeless man asleep, a middle-aged black businesswoman reading a paper, and a teenage goth boy listening to an ipod. None of them notice Harvey next to the train. The inside of the carriage also is full of graffiti. The only light in the panel comes from the inside of the train carriage, and is cast over the right-hand half of Harvey facing the train, while the left-hand half of him facing us the reader is in blackness.

CAP (Harvey): But now I do have control of something. Not of the system, not of law, not of justice. But of me. Just me.

CAP (Harvey, in italics): I guess I’ve had the best of both worlds.

CAP (Harvey): Now I am my city’s protector, her gargoyle, her knight.

CAP (Harvey, in italics): My name is Harvey Dent.

PAGE TWO: six panels.

PANEL 1: med-shot of a GCPD officer as he takes cover from gunfire behind the rear-end of his squad car, his pistol drawn, and speaks urgently into his radio. Bullet holes pepper the car rear bonnet, and one rear headlight is smashed. Another cop lies beside him on the sidewalk with a gunshot wound in the left ribs.

1st COP: This is officer Matt Royden requestin’ back-up and ambulance at seventeen Fox Lane, the back of Drumgo jewellery store, we have officer down! Three suspects armed and headin’ towards Forest Way, might be headin’ for Safire Street station...

PANEL 2: med-shot of the subway turnstiles just inside the station, and the overhead sign reads: 22 St and Forest Way. Dizhuo (see vis refs) is jumping over the top of a turnstile. Behind him, Kui hurries towards the stiles, holding his knife up prominently, and is glancing back towards Benny. Behind Kui, in the b/g, Benny is emerging in a run from the bottom of the stairway. On the left of the passage before the turnstiles, the same businesswoman from Panel 6 of Page 1 recoils in fright as Kui passes, while a man in casual hoody, jeans and sneakers is also ducking away from the turnstile. On the other side of the passage from them, the goth teen from Panel 6 of Page 1 has backed up against the wall and stares at Benny’s gun in alarm. Visible on one wall is a poster showing a ring of silhouette paper cut-out people with linked hands with the title: OCCUPY WFC.

CAP (police band): *...Despatch to unit fifty-two Frank, we got a ten-thirteen at the rear of Drumgo Jewellers at Forest Way, suspects armed, in the vicinity of twenty-second street station...*

BENNY: Outta the way, move!

KUI: <What?>

BENNY: <No matter, keep running!>


PANEL 3: long-shot of the three of them as they rush down the second stairs and on to the subway platform: Dizhuo is stumbling and almost falling, Kui rushing after him and Benny alongside Kui. The platform is empty apart from the three jewel thieves. On the left of the panel, we see a train pulling away, going towards the direction the three of them have just come from, as it is heading into a tunnel-mouth level with the opening of the stairway they’ve just run down.

BENNY: Oh $#!*

PANEL 4: med-shot of the three of them as they reach the train as it is pulling away, with motion lines as it moves faster. Kui is the first to reach, and he is grabbing frantically at the nearest doors, while Dizhuo is a few paces behind, looking on in dismay. Benny is hurrying up to them, and looks troubled.

KUI: <Aw, Hell...!>

DIZHUO: <So what do we do instead, get on a different train?>

BENNY: <I’m thinking...>

SFX: hwwwuuuuuuuuooo


PANEL 5: medium side-shot of them as they talk. Dizhuo on the left of the panel looking exasperated, and Benny facing him on the right and looking serious, while Kui stands beside Dizhuo, looking depressed. The train hasn’t fully passed by, it’s still proceeding at speed behind Dizhuo on the left of the panel. In the b/g beyond them, directly ahead of our POV, we can see Harvey on his bike emerging at speed from the gap between the train and wall of the tunnel, riding along the thin maintainence platform straight towards the trio (and us) with the light of the carriages reflecting off his helmet, bike and gear, just like in Panel 6 of Page 1. He also holds his nightstick poised threateningly in his right hand.

DIZHUO: <Mr Xiao, please. We’ve followed orders, but... if we don’t give to Yun Wei what he asked for, what about our families? He will kill all-!>

BENNY (over-lapping speech-bubble): <I know, quiet! Wait for me to reach a phone, there may be another way...>

SFX: hwwwooooooooooowww


PANEL 6: med-shot as Harvey is riding past them, just behind Benny, and has just this second struck him in the back between the shoulder blades with his nightstick. Benny has been hurled forwards by the blow in surprise, and his uzi is firing involuntarily, the low-aimed spray of bullets striking sparks from the side of the train and one bullet hitting Dizhuo in the right leg just above the knee. The train is still speeding past them, and a few sparks scatter from the bullet holes.


DIZHUO: Gaaargh!

SFX (from uzi): KA’KA’KAK

SFX: hwwoooooooww


PAGE THREE: six panels.

PANEL 1: med-shot of Benny as he is falling towards Dizhuo (who is off-panel), as Benny’s head has just impacted with the glass window of a train carriage as it speeds past, smashing the glass into fragments and spinning him fast off his feet with it’s momentum. He is protected from cuts by his mask. The uzi is tumbling from his grip.

SFX: krrrssshhh

SFX: hwoooooow

PANEL 2: high-angle med-shot from behind Harvey: Benny has hit the platform on his stomach, hard. Beside him, between him and the speeding train, Dizhuo has slumped to the platform as Kui holds him up, supporting him with his right arm and gripping his knife defensively in his left hand, and the knife-blade is trembling. Dizhuo is grasping his leg just above the wound with his left hand and has lifted his mask with his right, sweating but looking calm. Both of them are looking up towards Harvey. The uzi lies on the platform near to Benny. At the right edge of the panel, we see Harvey as he has just swung the bike around in a tight circle to face the trio.


KUI: Th-The Bat-Man...?!


PANEL 3: med-shot of Harvey from the front as he is dismounting from the bike, face still concealed beneath the crash helmet. On the right of the panel, we see the last carriage of the train is about to speed by.

HARVEY: What do I look like to you?

HARVEY (italics): Do I look like the goddamn Batman?

DIZHUO (OP): <Kui, the Bat-Man is dead, this is the Russian: the “Cage-Beast”!>

PANEL 4: close-up of Benny’s face as he lies on his stomach, and he is squinting up towards Harvey in pain. In the b/g beyond him, we see the end of the train as the final carriage speeds past.

HARVEY (OP): What’d you say? Hey!

HARVEY (OP, italics): The what beast?

BENNY: ...Boss?

DIZHUO (OP): <This whole city is a trap, Kui!>

SFX: hwoooowww

PANEL 5: low-angle med-shot of Harvey, looking down at Benny. He has just lifted the visor of his helmet, and his expression is stern.

BENNY (OP, tiny lettering): Jesus Christ, it’s true...

HARVEY: I’m not your boss any more, Ben.

HARVEY (italics): But you used to be one of my best drivers. Landed on hard times?

BENNY: Mr Two-

HARVEY (overlapping speech-bubble): Dent.

PANEL 6: med-shot of Harvey as he stands over Benny, who has raised himself up on his left elbow and is looking up at Harvey. Dizhuo and Kui haven’t moved.

BENNY: Sorry, Bo--uh, Mr Dent. Look, this ain’t exactly what it looks li-

HARVEY (overlapping speech-bubble, italics): You got ten seconds.

BENNY: I’m workin’ for Mr Yun’s business: the Snakeheads. It’s a long story...

HARVEY: In that case, you got twenty seconds. Here’s our train.

SFX (from behind Harvey): hwooowww

PAGE FOUR: eight panels.

PANEL 1: close-shot of a small black oval aerosol canister which Harvey is taking from his belt - it’s not an exact Bat-canister design, but blunter and more military-looking. If we can see any details around Harvey, they show he is in a moving train carriage.

CAP (HARVEY): Took a little longer than that, but the Snakeheads didn’t need much introduction, they’d been around quite a while: Chinese gangs set-up to ship migrants out to the US and other places, for a price. They’re friendly with the good ol’ fashioned Triads.

CAP (HARVEY): Takes most of their passengers two life-times to pay for their fare, so the Snakes are only too happy to give them a job in one of their brothels or sweatshops.

CAP (HARVEY): But this had to be a new one on us...

HARVEY: So, you took two of your cargo on your lil late night shopping spree?

PANEL 2: med-shot from over Dizhuo’s shoulder, as he sits on a train seat, holding his right hand up warily as if to hold Harvey and the canister at bay. Harvey is stood over him, holding up the canister for him, while the bike is parked behind him in the middle of the aisle of seats. Harvey isn’t wearing the helmet, it is mounted one of the bike’s handlebars. Kui is sat on a seat facing Dizhuo but one seat towards the left of the panel, looking worried for him. Benny is stood behind Harvey and to the right of the panel, looking at Harvey dubiously - Benny has pulled up his mask to his forehead, and his left cheek is bruised.

HARVEY: And you wouldn’t do it without Yun Junior’s permission, so he must be even crazier than they say.

DIZHUO: <I don’t want to pollute myself with your Russian drugs...>

HARVEY: Tell your friend the bullet has to come out now, ‘cause he won’t get another chance tonight.

PANEL 3: medium side-view from Harvey’s right and Dizhuo’s left. Dizhuo has lowered his hand, mostly, and Harvey has put the canister close to Dizhuo’s face between his mouth and nose. Dizhuo stares at Harvey and looks very worried. Benny has stepped forward a pace and is in shot between them in the b/g, looking at Dizhuo.

BENNY: <He says you must take the medicine or he’ll leave you for the government agents to capture.>

DIZHUO:<...very well.>

BENNY: They’re not my pals. These are Yun Wei’s Mock Ducks - his decoys.

PANEL 4: extreme close-up on Dizhuo’s face as a thin pale blue vapour sprays from the aerosol into his nose. His eyes are squeezed shut.

DIZHUO: *hhhk!*

HARVEY (OP): “Mock Duck”...?

PANEL 5: medium high angle shot from over Benny’s shoulder. Dizhuo has passed out, his head leans back with his eyes closed and mouth slightly open. Harvey is looking at Benny, and has taken out a tiny pair of bandage scissors (vis ref). Kui is leaning forward and watching anxiously.

BENNY: Yeah, clever, huh? Wei uses illegal migrants to do jobs and make drugs runs for him. If they get caught by the cops, he knows they won’t talk, 'cause he still has their families, and now the KGBeast is gunning for the Yun business all over town, it means less risk, ‘cause ducks are expendable. He put me in charge of these two.

HARVEY: “The Russian..." That’s what this one said before - they thought I was the KGBeast. What’s his angle here?

BENNY: Heh, I dunno, but someone must be paying him a lot of rubles to go after Yun Wei. Wei would cut your rubles off and make them earrings for his girlfriend, know what I mean? He’s worse than his father.

PANEL 6: close shot of the bandage scissors as Harvey uses them to cut through the blood-stained cloth of Dizhuo’s pant-leg in a small vertical cut, exposing the bullet wound.

HARVEY: Hmm. So we don’t have enough street-level patsys, we have to import ‘em?

BENNY (OP): Isn’t their fault, really. Back home, this bunch are followers of Falun Gong-

HARVEY (over-lapping speech bubble): Who’s Falun Gong? A new Triad?

PANEL 7: medium side-shot of Harvey from his left and Dizhuo’s right. He is looking down carefully at the bullet wound in Dizhuo’s leg, and is holding a tiny pair of forceps, poised with their tips just touching the bullet wound. Kui is now sitting on the same side as Dizhuo, one seat away, watching.

BENNY (OP): Falun Gong is a spiritual movement, kinda like Taoism, based around balancing good and evil in the human body, or something.

HARVEY: Good luck with that. So why are they here?

PANEL 8: extreme close-up on the forceps as they slowly pull the flattened bullet partly out of the wound.

BENNY (OP): A few years back, the Chinese government got strict and decided they didn’t like the movement, declared it was a subversive superstition, y’know, against the state and all that, and started a crackdown on anyone caught practicing it. And when the People’s Republic crack down on something, you really know about it.

BENNY (OP, small lettering): Ouch...

HARVEY (OP): That makes these people political refugees...

BENNY (OP): Hey, don’t ask me, I just work here.

Luke Noonan
06-29-2014, 10:19 PM
PAGE FIVE: eight panels.

PANEL 1: medium side-shot of Harvey from his left and Dizhuo’s right. Harvey is holding up the forceps with the flattened bloodied bullet in their grip, and he is looking down at Dizhuo’s leg, while lifting the bloody cloth of Dizhuo’s pant-leg up slightly to see the skin underneath.

HARVEY: This guy’s leg is covered in old scarring, interrogation burns...

BENNY: I told you they were strict.

BENNY: Is it true what they say about Batman, that he’s dead somewhere? And that’s why you’re... doing what you’re doing?

PANEL 2: extreme close-up of the forceps in Harvey’s hand, and he is dropping the flattened bloodied bullet from their grip into a tiny clear evidence bag.

HARVEY: I’m doing what I’m doing because of me, not him. Now, gimme a second - here’s what you’re gonna do...

PANEL 3: close-shot of Harvey writing in a tiny notebook.

HARVEY: This is the home number of the Deputy Mayor of Housing Development. Soon as you get off this train, you’re going to call him from a payphone, give him my regards, and tell him that every one of your ducks and their families is coming to work at his house for a while...

PANEL 4: med-shot of Harvey as he extends his left arm to give torn-out page to Benny, who reaches to take it relucantly, looking troubled. In his other hand, about chest level, Harvey is also holding a tiny synringe with a tubular sheath. He holds it by the tubular body, not as if he is about to inject someone with it.

HARVEY: ...because if they don’t, this whole city is going to know about the hookers he used to beat up, starting with the ten-cent tabloids. Tell him I’ll be in touch about their visas. I wrote it all down, don’t leave anything out.

BENNY: Bo--, um, I mean, Harvey, sir, look... if I betray Yun Wei, he’ll skin me alive!

PANEL 5: med-shot, like the last, but Benny is now holding the tiny note and reading it, while Harvey extends the synringe for him to take.

HARVEY: Forget Wei and the business. I’ll deal with him. But give your wingman here a shot of this to wake him up, then sit tight ‘til the Deputy Mayor picks you up. The families can move in tomorrow.

BENNY: What about KGBeast? He’s still out there...

PANEL 6: med-shot from over Benny’s shoulder. Benny is looking at Harvey, who has just this second put his crash helment back on, the visor still up. Harvey is looking at Benny.

HARVEY: Wei is the bait, Beast is the predator. One big stone. Leave ‘em both to me.

BENNY: Y’know, I always wanted to drive the Mayor’s limo through the middle of Grant Park at midnight...

PANEL 7 (panel in-set): extreme close-up of Harvey’s left hand as he uses a pocket-size hand-tazer on the panel-button of the train doors. Sparks spray from the over-loading panel-button. The tazer is similar to the canister: black and sleek but no-frills, not quite Bat-style.

HARVEY: He’s not Mayor yet, and don’t get any ideas. Get them ready to move.


PANEL 8: med-shot of Harvey on the motorbike as he has just sped out through the open doors of the speeding subway train as it turns a corner, the momentum carrying the bike straight over the curving empty tracks beside the train. Our POV is facing Harvey along the empty tracks he’s flying over, though the tracks lead slightly to our left/the left-hand side of the panel (see vis ref). Through the carriage doors, we can see Benny watching him go from within the carriage, holding on to a hanging passenger-grip as the air in the carriage is sucked out the open doors, as if blown out by a fierce wind. In the bottom right-hand corner, we can see a couple of rats scurry away in fright towards our POV beside the empty track. Along the side of the train, we can see the graffitied words SON OF THE DRAGON sprayed in orange letters wreathed in red flames, the word SON ending just in front of the open carriage doors (which is why the letter S of SONS is missing), the rest of the words continuing along the train as it curves around the corner. The letter O in SON is a black and white yin-yang, while the letter O in DRAGON has a yellow lightning flash through it exactly like the Flash symbol in reverse, pointing from upper left to lower right. The scene is lit by lights from within the train carriages and by a couple of yellow lights in the tunnel, as per visual ref.

CAP (BENNY): Good to see you’re back, Sir.

CAP (HARVEY): The drug was Russian, a meta-fentanyl cocktail the Bat had synthesized himself. Told me it was an improvement on something he borrowed from ex-military Russian mob hitters.

CAP (HARVEY): Fine. I admit it. You’re ahead of us, Bat.

CAP (HARVEY, italics): Now keep watching...

PAGE SIX: seven panels.

PANEL 1: low-angle view of a high rise apartment building, one of several grouped closely together in a Manhattan-style cluster (see vis ref for an idea) with the moon high above, partly hidden by dark clouds.

CAP (HARVEY): “The Duckblind.”

CAP (HARVEY): This was Yun Junsai’s fortified private retreat and safehouse, known only to a few trusted individuals, and to me. He chose to hide it in plain view, surrounded by witnesses. But it wasn’t strategics that made him set it up here, I’ll bet the view reminded him of Beijing, where he grew up. Despite his line of business, Junsai was the sentimental type.

CAP (HARVEY): When the apple falls far, it falls hard.

PANEL 2: med-shot of Harvey sat on a chair in a sparse living room, moonlight coming in large slanted shafts through the large window out of shot. He doesn’t wear the crash helmet. His expression looks cold, his nightstick across his knees. There is a desktop computer on a wide desk in the b/g, with a well-stocked bookcase to the right of it, and to the left of the computer is a four-foot statue of Shang Yang, matching the public statue (see vis ref) and looking in the direction of the window and the light.

CAP (HARVEY): It’s good to have family you can trust.

CAP (HARVEY): I remember one fourth of July, my father drove me down to Vermont to visit my grandparents. They were never ones for the city.

CAP (HARVEY): The morning of the fifth, dad was still sleeping off a bottle of Kentucky bourbon, so my grandma and grandpa took me with them to see the grave of Calvin Coolidge, the thirtieth President. They said they went every year.

PANEL 3: med-shot of the grave of Coolidge, with that of his wife and son on the left and right (vis ref). The grave has a wreath and number of bunches of flowers on it, with a few on his wife’s grave and some on his son’s. In the b/g is a pretty dawn sky.

CAP (HARVEY): My grandpa always said he was our best President. “Since him, we’ve had a lot of good talkers. But Cal Coolidge was a great thinker... Seems more an’ more, it’s a rare kinda fella that can step up and do both at the same time, when it counts.”

CAP (HARVEY): “Let’s see if you can’t outshine your daddy, huh, Harv...?”

PANEL 4: med-shot of the eight-year old Harvey in the graveyard, his grandpa on his right, his grandma on his left. His grandma smiles down at him, while his grandpa stoops slightly and is holding a silver dollar coin just by Harvey’s head, as if he plucked it from behind Harvey’s ear. Harvey is looking at the coin and smiling.

GRANDPA: Huh... look what I found.
GRANDPA: How ‘bout that?

PANEL 5: close-shot of Harvey, back in the present, unmoved from his position in panel 2. His expression is still cold.

CAP (HARVEY): Innocent times.

CAP (HARVEY, italics): Time to get back on the clock, Harv...


PANEL 6: med-shot of Harvey. He is standing by the chair, expression serious, left fisted hand at his side, holding his nightstick at stomach level in his right hand, looking ready for action. A sliver of light has appeared on the right of the panel, and in the light we see a Taiji chart wall hanging (vis ref) on the wall just to Harvey’s left, directly facing the window.

WEI (OP, tiny lettering): [illegible-illegible-illegible-]hahahahahaha!

PANEL 7: med-shot of Wei and his girlfriend as they’ve both entered through the door, light spilling in from the passage outside. Wei is looking puzzled to see Harvey, and is still holding the door handle with his left hand, having just swung it open inwards, while holding a half-finished bottle of champagne. His girlfriend is staring in amazement at Harvey.

HARVEY (OP): Hello, Wei.

WEI: What the £@%!? Who the...? H-how did you get in here?

HARVEY (OP): I’ve seen the blue prints for half the buildings in this city. You’d be surprised what pulling strings down at Housing Developments can do. You should ask your daddy.

PAGE SEVEN: seven panels.

PANEL 1: med-shot from the side of Harvey as Wei walks towards him. Wei’s girlfriend walks close behind Wei, but remains in the b/g. The Taiji wall hanging is in the middle of the panel, facing us, and there is a set of filing cabinets beneath it and to the right. There is a round coffee table in the close f/g, bottom right-hand corner, with a leather armchair behind it.

WEI: I know you... you’re the Two-Face - or at least, you were. Niiice work. Who’s your surgeon?

HARVEY: I got medicare. And the name’s Harvey Dent. So, how is your father, Wei?

WEI: Older than ever. Those cigars he liked really took their toll, I always said they’d catch up with him. Heh, you can still smell them in here. His lungs must’ve looked like barbecue beef! But he’s where he belongs now: in the old country. This city’s no place for old men.

PANEL 2: med-shot of Wei, as he is putting the champagne bottle down on top of the set of cabinets in the previous panel. He is grinning at Harvey, but not in a friendly way. Wei’s girlfriend is stood close behind him, her left hand touching his left elbow, her right hand at her side. She is looking at Harvey coldly.

WEI: Y’know, I always wanted to meet you: the Duke of Duality, Mister Two-Face, Big Bad Harv. Here’s the man who let’s fate decide whether people live or die, he leaves it up to God to choose what happens, whichever way the wind blows, even when it comes to his own skin. Now that takes some set of balls...

HARVEY: Well, here I am, Wei. I hear you’re being hunted by a bear: Anatoli Knyazev.

WEI: Heh, it’s not me I’m worried about, Harvey. It’s these little migratin’ ducks I got working for me. See, the Beast whacked five of them since the weekend, tryin’ to undermine my new venture. If the rest of them panic anymore, it means they can’t fly straight, I’m gonna have to put ‘em all down. Can’t bear to see ‘em suffer any more...

PANEL 3: med-shot of Harvey from over Wei’s right shoulder. He looks more casual in stance, the left corner of his mouth raised in a half-smile.

HARVEY: Yes, I heard about your venture. “Mock Duck” was a racketeer in New York’s Chinatown - one of the first, one of the best.

WEI: Riiight, he was the one started the Hip Sing Tong. They said he survived a point blank shot in the throat, an’ that he could shoot a gun in both hands, with his eyes closed. Your old man make you learn the classics too, huh?

HARVEY: I went to law school.

PANEL 4: low-angle shot of Wei and girl from behind, and Wei’s left hand is resting on his left hip, while his girlfriend is stood casually beside him on his left, and she is putting a knife handle-first into his left hand with her right hand.

WEI: Only trouble is, Mock Duck ended up betrayin’ his own people to the cops. An’ if there’s one thing I hate, it’s disloyalty, ‘specially to your own kind.

WEI: You know what they said about you, Harv? That you’re workin’ for the cops now. You’re workin’ with the Bat-Family...

PANEL 5: close-up on an incoming black and red rifle-grenade (see vis ref) just before it hits the outside of the window. The nose of the shell is about three inches from the glass, and we can see the glass is about three inches thick. The shell’s trajectory is level, as if it was fired from a corresponding window across the street. Our POV is from outside the window. Through the glass, we can see Wei and his girlfriend looking at the window in alarm, Wei is same place as before but with the knife held in his left hand, while his girl is a couple of steps back from where she stood in the previous panel.

PANEL 6: close-up of Harvey as he drives his left elbow into Wei’s collarbone, Wei recoiling back from the blow in pain. Wei is holding up the knife his girl handed to him prominently. Our POV is from over Harvey’s right shoulder, and we can see Wei’s girlfriend ducking behind the armchair in the b/g.

WEI: ...!

PANEL 7: med-shot of the window, from within the apartment, as the rifle-grenade detonates against the protective glass with a yellow-orange flash, the force of the blast blowing a jagged but circular hole about four-foot across in the glass, with the surrounding glass still in the window frame now densely riddled with cracks. Jagged chunky fragments of glass like hailstones shower into the room from the centre of the blast, and scatter out in all directions from the edges of the blast. In the centre of the yellow-orange burst, we can see the broken and fragmented black outline of the body of the rifle-grenade as it disintegrates, while the head/shell at the front has already been disintegrated completely.


Luke Noonan
06-29-2014, 10:20 PM
PAGE EIGHT: seven panels.

PANEL 1: med-shot of Harvey as he delivers a sideways kick with his left leg straight into Wei’s stomach. Wei stoops slightly from the blow, and he is still holding the knife up prominently. Our POV is from behind Wei and to his left. Harvey has three little chunky glass fragments stuck to him: one embedded in his flak jacket at chest level, another embedded at midriff level, and one stuck to his right pant leg. Wei has one little fragment stuck in his left arm just above the elbow, the wound bleeding slightly, while another has just hit him above the left ear, and two more have stuck in the fabric of his left pant leg. All about them both, six of the chunky little fragments of glass are still shooting past: 1st is about to hit the wall near the Taiji hanging, 2nd flies past just in front of Harvey’s face, 3rd flies between Harvey and Wei at chest level, 4th flies past behind Wei at chest level, 5th is about to hit Wei in the left shoulder, and 6th flies past over Wei’s head.

WEI: Huuu-!

PANEL 2: low-angle med-shot of Harvey from the front as he dives low towards the window. He is headed just to the left of the panel. Behind him in the b/g, Wei jerks back violently against the filing cabinet behind him as bullets hit him in the chest, fired directly through the broken window.

WEI: Aaaagh-!

SFX: k’duhk’duhk’duhk’duh

PANEL 3: med-shot of Wei’s snakehead hoods as four of them burst through the door he and his girlfriend came through with their handguns cocked and at the ready, the door banging as it swings open wide. Two of them look towards Wei in shock, one stares at the window, the fourth looks down towards Wei’s girlfriend in alarm. The one looking towards the window has the red pinpoint beam of a laser-sight cutting across the room from the window and ending on his chest.

PANEL 4: low-angle view from just behind the first of the snakehead hoods to enter the room, and he is falling backwards as bullets hit him. Behind the armchair near the door, we see Wei’s girlfriend crouching low, covering her ears. Across the room in front of us, we see through the broken window and across the street is a corresponding apartment with the lights off, and we can see the muzzle flash of the rifle from within the dark window. Harvey is crouching low beneath the window, and is holding a small device the size and shape of a cell phone in his right hand - his hand-dazzler.

1ST SNAKEHEAD: Heeaaargh-!

2ND SNAKHEAD (OP): Rrrragh-!

3RD SNAKEHEAD (OP): Aaaaiee-!

SFX: k’duhk’duhk’duhk’duhk’duhk’duh

PANEL 5: med-shot of Harvey through the broken window, as he is now standing at the hole in the window. He is holding his right hand extended out through the hole, and in his hand is the cell-phone like hand-dazzler: two tiny red lights are glowing on the grip by the panel-button, and the flash-screen is glowing yellow. The base of the circular hole in the glass is level with Harvey’s stomach. The red dot of the laser-sight is now on Harvey’s chest. Harvey’s expression is tight-lipped and defiant, and he is holding his left wrist across his eyes to shield his vision, his left hand in a tight fist. In the b/g behind Harvey, we can see the Taiji wall hanging is in alignment with the hole in the glass of the window.

CAP (HARVEY): The Bat never left his belfry empty-handed. I had to hand it to him, he had some neat tricks.

CAP (HARVEY): The hand-dazzler: a compact broad spectrum to infrared flash-lamp designed for close-quarter defense. Works real good against armed assailants in nocturnal conditions, too: when you see a light in the dark, your eyes are drawn to it...

PANEL 6: med-shot of Nite-Wing from behind, and he is stood in front of the open window in the opposite apartment, clutching his eyes in agony and howling, the rifle he was just holding tumbling to the floor before him. With his body armour and helmet on, we cannot see that it is actually Nite-Wing himself, however. Through the open window, across the street we see the broken window of the Duckblind apartment is glowing spectactularly with a flash of yellow-white light, like a star.

CAP (HARVEY): ...and before your finger can pull the trigger, you’re firing blind.


PANEL 7: close-shot of Harvey from the front, and with his left hand he is now aiming and firing a grey-silver angular grapple-gun out through the hole in the window, straight for the window opposite, so the spike of the grapple shoots out towards us the reader but just to our right, the tip of the spike going outside the border of the panel.

CAP (HARVEY): Maybe Junsai did choose this place well, after all. Sit out in the open, wait for your enemies to come to you...


PAGE NINE: six panels.

PANEL 1: med-shot of the grapple-spike and cable as the spike has shot out the window and across the street and now flies into the the open window of Nite-Wing’s apartment, while the cable snakes behind it in undulations. The window of Nite-Wing’s apartment shows only darkness. Our POV is that of Harvey, looking out the window, but the broken glass and frame is not in the panel.

CAP (HARVEY): ...and then you reel ‘em in.

PANEL 2: close-shot of the grapple-gun as Harvey cocks a switch on the back like a hammer. The cable in this shot is now straight and taut.

SFX: KLUH-h’r’h’r’h’r’h’r’h’ruh

PANEL 3: long-shot of the window of Nite-Wing’s apartment as the grapple-spike is yanked out through the window by the retracting cable, and the spike is embedded in Nite-Wing’s unoccupied flak-jacket. The position on the jacket the spike has penetrated is the right-side area of the torso, at the base of the right pectoral. The flak-jacket flaps its dangling straps as it is whipped through the air by the retracting grapple-spike. Our POV is from outside Nite-Wing’s apartment.

PANEL 4: med-shot from behind Harvey as the flak-jacket embedded on the spike lands against the broken window of the Duckblind apartment, so that it is resting on the edge of the circular hole blasted in the glass, and we can just about see the proud but small words on the front, over the pectorals: NITE on the right pec, WING on the left. Blood stains the spike and the point where it has penetrated the jacket.



CAP (HARVEY): Okay, we’re surprised. And a little disappointed.

PANEL 5: close-shot of the front of the flak-jacket as Harvey holds it in his hands to examine, with the words NITE and WING now clearly visible.

CAP (HARVEY): Tonight I was expecting to capture a wild beast...

PANEL 6: med-shot of Nite-Wing as he bursts through the doors of his apartment building leading to the sidewalk, staggering in pain, his right hand clasped over the wound in his chest, from which blood trickles.

CAP (HARVEY): ...not crucify a canary.



NITE-WING: Damn that hurts.

PAGE TEN: five panels.

PANEL 1: high-angle med-shot of Nite-Wing as he leans low against a bicycle rack for support, gasping. He is facing from right of the panel to left. The shadow of the front-wheel and handlebars of a motorcycle are in front of him, cast against the wall.

NITE-WING: Huh-holy homicide...

HARVEY: Hello.

PANEL 2: low-angle med-shot from over Nite-Wing’s left shoulder, as he looks up at Harvey. Harvey is mounted on his bike, helmet on.

HARVEY: Working late too, huh, Thaddeus? Hope you didn’t miss the fireworks.

NITE-WING: Tuh-Tad. My name is Tad! Uh, I mean... it’s Nite-Wing.

HARVEY: Thaddeus Ryerstad, otherwise known as Nite-Wing.

NITE-WING: Muh-maybe I’ll call myself General Tso. Y-you know... like the chicken...

PANEL 3: med-shot of Harvey from the side, and he is next to the bike as he walks around the front of it. He is holding a pair of handcuffs in his right hand, while lifting the visor of his helmet with his left. The bicycle rack is in the b/g, and Nite-Wing stumbles along by leaning on it.

HARVEY: You killed several innocent people this week, Ryerstad. Those ‘ducks’ you shot were asylum seekers, prisoners of the Snakeheads. Trying to frame the KGBeast? And using artillery to do it...?

HARVEY: I thought you were a disciple of the Boy Wonder? That means you don’t get to play with guns.

NITE-WING: The Batman is dead... Have to... up the ante... now. No more puh-playin’ games... Somebody has to stay in contro-

HARVEY (overlapping speech-bubble): Batman isn’t dead.

PANEL 4: close-shot of Nite-Wing, from behind, as he looks up into the face of Harvey. Harvey is holding him by the collar, and his expression is livid with rage.

NITE-WING: I-I’ve got a question: um, who are you?

HARVEY: That’s a long story, Tad, and I’m not too sure about the ending, still.

HARVEY (italics): Right now, there’s only one part you need to remember...

PANEL 5: page-wide shot of Harvey as he speeds down a main freeway of central Gotham. The city is a riot of bright and colourful digital displays, and one red lettering on black digital billboard reads HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!

CAP (HARVEY): This could be any city in the world. But it’s the one I live in. By choice.

CAP (HARVEY): I don’t need fame, or money, or acknowledgment, or thanks, but I’ll fight for my city anyway. I am a free man, now, and that’s how I’ll spend my freedom.

CAP (HARVEY): Gotham’s gargoyle. Her protector.

CAP (HARVEY): The name is Harvey Dent.

CAP (HARVEY): And we’re under obligation to no-one.

Luke Noonan
08-03-2014, 09:34 AM
Here is something I just finished for a press who require a script with established characters in it for consideration, before I get to work on their own characters or introduce any of my own.

Well it paid off: I'm through the door with two publishers, now two steps closer to seeing print. Boo-yah :thumbs:

08-03-2014, 12:30 PM
That's totally awesome! Congratulations!

08-04-2014, 10:06 AM
That's really cool! The script is definitely better than a lot of the other stuff I see on here or TPG. So what exactly do you mean it was for a press? Do you mean it was a submission to audition as a writer for a publisher?

08-05-2014, 05:50 AM
That would be what is meant, yes. Some things haven't actually changed that much as some publishers like to see how a writer does with an established character to see if they would be a good fit to write their intellectual properties. If they can stay true to the character, yet produce a great story, then this is what they want.

Pretty standard to be fair. I do kind of want to read more of this tbh, despite not knowing the referenced story.

Luke Noonan
08-05-2014, 07:13 AM
That's really cool! The script is definitely better than a lot of the other stuff I see on here or TPG. So what exactly do you mean it was for a press? Do you mean it was a submission to audition as a writer for a publisher?

Yep, for Midnight Horizon press and I used the same story as a writing sample for an anthology entry, since I'm still writing the script for that. And thanks a lot, I appreciate it.

Luke Noonan
08-05-2014, 07:13 AM
That's totally awesome! Congratulations!

Thanks ;)

Luke Noonan
08-05-2014, 07:25 AM
That would be what is meant, yes. Some things haven't actually changed that much as some publishers like to see how a writer does with an established character to see if they would be a good fit to write their intellectual properties. If they can stay true to the character, yet produce a great story, then this is what they want.

Pretty standard to be fair. I do kind of want to read more of this tbh, despite not knowing the referenced story.

There isn't a lot to the referenced story, but that link above gives a good overview. I would've really liked to read Jeph Loeb's apparently planned Dent story following on from that and from Batman: Hush, but he moved to Marvel before he could write it, and it's all moot now the pre-52 canon is dead.