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paul brian deberry
06-16-2014, 10:49 PM
this is actually a six page script, posted the first three here, didn't want to bore you with full thing.

something fun!

have at it bitches! :har:

Lily Monster - p.b. deberry

Our little monster Lilly wishes one day to be a ferocious monster like her dad. But that big jerk wonít let her have any fun until she is oldest enough to drive.

NOTE: Story opens up with Lily making her way from Monster Valley determined to show her dad she can rampage through a town like a big girl!

PAGE ONE - SIX PANELS

1.1 Opening. A street sign. With a buncha arrows pointing left and right.

The street signs read:
- 5km to Towngale
- 89km to Tokyo
- 159km to Pearl Harbor
- 785km to Downtown New York

1.2 Our little monster, LILY is looking at the sign.

1. LILY - Iíll show him.

1.3 Lily is stomping across a small field.

2. LILY - Iím plenty big enough.

1.4 She is now pushing through a forest.

3. LILY - Amanda's father thinks sheís big enough.

1.5 Standing atop a cliff edge.

1.6 She cannonballs into the water below.

PAGE 2 - FIVE PANELS

NOTE: Here Lily pops out of the water, gets hooked by some fishermen.

2.1 Change. Two fishermen (Left to Right) are sitting on their boat fishing. Both fishing pool have a slight bend to them.

1. FISHERMAN 1 - Did you watch the football game last night.

2. FISHERMAN 2 - Ugh. What a real stinker that was.

2.2 On fisherman One. Heís holding his reel, the bend to the pool is very noticeable.

3. FISHERMAN 1- Hey! I think I just caught lunch.

2.3 Fisherman Two pool is bending similarly.

4. FISHERMAN 2 - HAH! I think I caught dinner.

2.4 On the boat with the two fishermen.

5. FISHERMAN 1 - Gah! I think we hooked each other.

6. FISHERMAN 2 - I think we hooked the same -

2.5 Lily is standing out of the water. The fishermen boat is atop her head.

7. FISHERMEN - (THEY SCREAM IT TOGETHER.) MONSTER!

PAGE THREE SIX PANELS

NOTE: Lily is out of the water and making her way towards the town. Where she meets something peculiar. Humans that aren't afraid of her.

3.1 Change. From behind. Lily is in the background on an unpopulated beach. She is marching towards the city of TOWNGALE. In the foreground is a sign that reads: NO MONSTERS BEYOND THIS POINT. Clearly Lily has passed that point.

3.2 Lily is walking amongst a couple buildings. Sheís not as tall as they are.

1. LILY - This isnít that bad.

3.3 Her huge feet delicately step past pedestrians. As she walks down the center of the road.

3.4 Lily stops. She confused why they aren't afraid of her.

3.5 She bends down to ask an old lady?

2. LILY - What gives!? Why aren't you afraid of me?

3.6 The old lady.

3. LADY - Iíve seen worse monsters.

******

Luke Noonan
08-16-2014, 11:27 PM
Paper.

crognus
08-16-2014, 11:35 PM
Fishing poles, Paul. Haha. :laugh:

AmitMosheOren
08-17-2014, 07:17 AM
That was cool, my friend! I really really liked it. It is a fun story. The format is simple and understandable. Besides some little mistakes, it was very good. Can you post the next three pages of your script? I'll be glad to read through the end.