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Handi Yawan
04-25-2014, 06:45 AM
Lad Lizaro Genre: Superhero, Javanese myth

Premise : Hyang Antaboga ( A god dwelling under the surface of the earth ) felt that his territory was disturbed by the exploitation of mineral mines. He then transformed himself into a human form, namely Kurnia, in an effort to find out who was responsible for the mining.
Reff: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antaboga

Logline: Revealing a conspiracy in the exploitation of the natural resources in Indonesia among certain people in the House of Representatives, the Ministry of Energy and Mineral Resources, and foreign investors.

Character: Lad Lizaro (Kurnia) , a 30-year-old expert of metallurgy dan minerals.

After the giant lizard (Hyang Antaboga) took Kurnia’s form by swallowing him whole, Kurnia became/acted depressed.

Weakness: He was vulnerable to firearms and blades, but the wound would heal quickly.

Power: The Power of Wind, his reliable power, could be used to drill a hole in the ground and make an underground passage, or, in the form of a whirlwind, it could be used to attack the enemy.

His hand could identify various kinds of substances and he had multi-dimentional eyesight.

He was able to camouflage himself by transforming himself into another form, from the form of Kurnia into the form of Lad Lizaro, and the other way around. He was also able to camouflage himself with his surroundings.

Episode 1: Awakening

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=oa.10152397801772437&type=1Munawir : A member of the House of Representatives who accepted bribes from foreign investors and conspired with certain people in the Ministry of Energy and Mineral Resources to enable the investor to mine minerals in Indonesia without proper analysis on its impact to the environment.

Matalmorpho: Lad Lizaro opponent equally capable of camuflasing. The difference MM is the combat robot made by Maxmilian
Corporation. Able to change (transformer) to machine combat anything.

In a condominium owned by Maximilian, Munawir, a chairman of the House of Representatives, was hiding and asked for protection from Kurnia’s threats. Munawir played a video recorded from a TV program several times and showed it to Maximilian.

The video showed Kurnia lying in hospital in a state of comma. Suddenly Kurnia got up, shouting threats at the people who had disturbed him.

Kurnia was a mineral and metallurgy expert in Maximilian’s mining company in Papua.

Another video, which was also shown on television a few days before, showed researchers doing a research in a mine. It started with the sudden appearance of a giant lizard, that came out from nowhere and raged in a gold mine in Papua, and made all the workers run away in panic. The lizard attacked and swallowed Kurnia. The TV crew had a chance to record the lizard swallowing his prey whole before disappearing into the ground.

The company’s managers ordered a search done to know what had happened to Kurnia but nothing came up. The lizard simply vanished.

However, a few days later, the workers noticed the lizard’s reappearance. There was nothing they could do, but watch it from far away. It was dark because it was night time and the lizard kept getting smaller and smaller, and more and more like a human being. Finally the lizard again disappeared and they found Kurnia’s body. He was still breathing but he was unconscious. Then they brought him to hospital.

Munawir thought that having been attacked by the giant lizard, Kurnia was not really dead. He was just possessed by the lizard, whose territory they had disturbed.

Maxmilian tried to calm him down, but Munawir couldn’t calm down. A friend of his who worked at the Ministry of Energy and Mineral Resources had warned him that Kurnia was looking for him and Maximilian.

Suddenly they were surprised by gunshots. All the guards were knocked down one by one, but nobody saw who did it eventhough the whole incident was caught on the surveillance camera. Everybody became wary and was trying to locate the mysterious attacker. But it was nowhere to be found. Kurnia, in the form of Lad Lizaro, had camouflaged himself so that he caouldn’t be seen by those people and couldn’t be caught on camera.

One by one the guards fell unconscious, and finally Munawir and Maximillian were the only ones left standing. When Lad Lizaro showed himself, Munawir fell down, weak in fear, and Maxmilian was the only one who dared to confront Lizaro.

“What do you want from me?” asked Maxmilian. “Are you V.O.C. people?” Lizaro asked back. “What do you mean? This is 2014…” Maxmillian didn’t understand. “And I’m Portuguese, not Dutch.”

For a moment Lizaro was confused, but then said, “You are all the same! Robbers working together with that traitor!” said Lizaro, looking sideways at Munawir, who was hiding his head in one corner, terrified.

Then Lad Lizaro approached Maxmillian. “I will give you just one chance,” he threatened,” Give back everything that you have looted so far!” Lizaro strangled Maximillian and added the pressure on his neck. Maximillian, terrified, nodded. “Remember this!” said Lizaro, “I will be back and kill you all if you don’t do what I have just told you to do!”

Then Lizaro left them.

The End

Luke Noonan
08-16-2014, 10:55 PM
For feedback on this, firstly it seems like a sci-fi treatment of a mythological subject matter, it reminds me of any number of Godzilla or Kaiju movie plots in that what could be treated in a straight manner as amazing, awe-inspiring and terrifying is dealt with by the human characters in a blase, scientific way, so that it seems less about Lad Lizaro/Antaboga and more about Maximillian.
In short, I'm saying that for a story about the almighty Antaboga, all the focus is on some greedy corporate bad guys. IMO, me and most folks who buy the book would want to see the giant cosmic lizard and see Javanese mythology brought to life more than oil company board meetings.
Finally, it seems totally incomplete. Antaboga's avatar Lizaro threatens them and then runs away? Is that it?

However, you art looks really good, and the cover of Lad Lizaro is great.