View Full Version : 11 pages of Fxxx Face...

12-02-2013, 09:04 PM
This is the first 11 pages to my zombie-comedy script known as Fxxx Face. I am really excited to continue to write this, but thus far my friend/artist is taking his time so I have been busy writing other works. I was hoping to see what everyone thinks of this small portion. I give to you all of the script that does not have any of my main characters, but still gives you a sense of what is going on.

I have the rest of this script up in my Deviant Art Gallery if you are interested. Be warned that it is a twenty-eight(I know it is out side of the industry standard) page script so if you go expect to read. My deviant art account name is "JeremyRJackson."

Thanks and hopefully enjoy,
Jeremy R. Jackson.

PAGE ONE (six panels)
Panel 1. It is around 10 o'clock p.m. and we open to a family of three, a mother, a father and an eight year old little girl. They are in their van coming home from the little girl’s theatrical performance of some kind. The little girl is already asleep in the back of the van. The father is driving, and the mother in the passenger seat as the family travels through a sub-urban community.
Caption: One night in Buddington Heights.
Mom: Do you wanna look through the pictures I took, when we get home?

Panel 2. Inside the vehicle, the two parents continue to talk as you can see the child sleeping sound in the back seat.
Dad: You know, I was at the show too. Do you think I really need to?
Mom: I want you to tell me how the pictures turned out, jerk.

Panel 3. Close up on the dad snickering to himself as he continues the conversation.
Dad: Cool down, honey, I was just kidding. Of course I will help.

Panel 4. Coming around the bend, they see a crime scene in progress. There were two police cruisers, one was parked in the drive way of a home and the other one was parked at the curb in front of the home. One officer was at the door talking to a woman who is apparently crying; While, two other officers wrestle a hand cuffed man to the ground.
Mom: You know you have been getting more...and...more...what...the...

Panel 5. Close up on the hand cuffed man. His eyes are highly irritated to the point where the redness has a faint glow to it, and he is foaming at the mouth. The man looks crazed, so much so, you may even think he was rabid.

Panel 6. The family's van pulls into their driveway, which is right down the block from the incident. You can actually see the lights from the cruisers.

PAGE TWO (six panels)
Panel 1. Show three people through the windshield of an SUV. The driver, Hit man 2, is wearing a black suit and is completely bald. The man in the passenger seat, Hit man 1, is dressed similarly but has short, buzz cut styled, hair. The third person is sitting in the middle of the back seat, with a black hood over their head. Hit man 2 is eating a cheese burger as he drives, while Hit man 1 fidgets with a ketchup packet. This ketchup packet is a new design that is rectangular in shape with a tear off spout at one end for easy pouring and a peel off top for easy dipping.
Hit man 1: I like this.
Hit man 2: What?
Hit man 2: Ketchup?

Panel 2. Close up on Hit man 2 as he continues to inspect the condiment packaging.
Hit man 1: No…well yeah, but I’m talking about the packaging…
Hit man 1: …It is amazing.

Panel 3. Zoom out to see an angled view of the exterior of the vehicle.
Hit man 2: It’s ketchup.
Hit man 1: No, you are not listening.
Hit man 1: Check it out…
Captive: *whimper*

Panel 4. Hit man 1 is holding up the ketchup packet and is pointing at the spout end.
Hit man 1: You can tear off this end so you can pour it on to your burger, or hotdog, or what ever…or…

Panel 5. Hit man 1 now has the packet logo up and is peeling back the top of the packaging.
Hit man 1: BAM!!!
Hit man 1: You can peel back the top for some easy dipping action.

Panel 6. Zoom out to see the entire interior of the vehicle once again as Hit man 1 is dipping his French fries in the ketchup and Hit man 2 has almost finished his cheese burger.
Hit man 2: I can appreciate your enthusiasm, I really can, but I am not really a ketchup kinda guy.

PAGE THREE (six panels)
Panel 1. Close up on Hit man 2 still eating his burger while he drives.
Hit man 2: …so regardless of how innovative it is, I will never benefit from it’s design.

Panel 2. Profile shot of Hit man 1 through the passenger side window as he enjoys his fries. You can see Hit man 2, just past Hit man 1, as he draws near the end of his cheese burger.
Hit man 1: You are overlooking the beauty of this brilliant packaging.
Hit man 1: Any form of saucy goodness would only be greatened with it’s use.

Panel 3. Front view through the windshield of the hit men, Hit man 1 has turned his head to look at Hit man 2, who is about one bite from completing his burger.
Hit man 1: Well then, what’s your favorite condiment?
Hit man 1: Mustard…
Hit man 1: Mayo….
Hit man 2: How about BBQ sauce?
Captive: Hhmmphh.

Panel 4. Close up on Hit man 2, who has just finished his burger and is now wiping the corners of his mouth with his hand.
Hit man 2: I like BBQ on burgers and I like to dip my fries in it as well.
Hit man 1: Sure, who don’t enjoy French fries with BBQ, it is delicious.
Hit man 2: And the only thing more delicious than that, would be dipping your fries in ice cream.

Panel 5. Wide shot of the two hit men, Hit man 1 is looking down at his food as he dips another French fry. Hit man 2 is lighting a joint.
Hit man 1: Ice cream, huh?
Hit man 2: Chocolate…
Hit man 2: ….ice cream.
Hit man 1: I am going to be honest with you, I hear French fries and ice cream and I automatically think, “freak.”
Captive: Hhfffttt.

Panel six. Close up on Hit man 2 as he is passing the joint over to Hit man 1.
Hit man 2: You know what, dick head?
Hit man 2: Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.
Hit man 2: You wanna hit this?

PAGE FOUR (six panels)
Panel 1. Hit man 1 now has the joint in his mouth, while gesturing with his thumb to the captive person in the back.
Hit man 1: I know how we can settle this.
Hit man 1: We can ask this schmuck here.

Panel 2. Hit man 1 reaches back and grabs the captive by the hood over his head, and pulls his head in between the front seats.
Hit man 1: Now listen up kiddo…
Hit man 1: I am going to remove the bag from your head…
Hit man 1: …and when I do so, I expect you to answer a question..

Panel 3. Hit man 1 pulled the bag off of the captive’s head. His hair is a mess and he has duct tape over his mouth and tears in his eyes.
Hit man 2: I’m sure you are aware of our predicament, and if you cooperate it may affect your fate.

Panel 4. Hit man 2 is talking while he drives and Hit man 1 is passing the joint back over.
Hit man 2: All we want to know is…
Hit man 2: …what is more tasty…
Hit man 1: French fries in ketchup…
Hit man 2: or French fries in ice cream.

Panel 5. Hit man 1 has pulled out a desert eagle pistol.
Hit man 1: Remember, it’s not like there is a gun to your head.
Hit man 1: …Oh wait yes there is…

Panel 6. View from the back seat of the vehicle over the shoulders of the two hit men as a severed arm slams into a windshield.
SFX(severed arm) Thuntt!
SFX(breaks) Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrttt!!!

PAGE FIVE (four panels)
Panel 1. We go back to the family of three, now within the walls of their own home. It’s dark outside, and we are looking at the front door of their residence. There is a cliché looking welcome mat out front, and a mailbox mounted next to the front door which reads: “Mr. and Mrs. Johnson”.
Caption: Back to the Johnson residence, family of three.
Mom: Did you put Tiffany in bed?

Panel 2. The father is in the bathroom brushing his teeth. He holds the tooth brush off to the side as he pauses to speak.
Dad: Yeah, only about fifteen minutes ago, it was right around the time I told you that I did.
Mom: O.K., shit head, do you want to come over here and check out these pictures?

Panel 3. Mother sitting on the bed in a comfortable looking evening gown with a laptop on the bed in front of her, also you see a camera plugged into the laptop. In the background you can clearly see the father drying his face with a hand towel.
Dad: Yeah, yeah…I will be there in a minute…
Dad: ...but first…

Panel 4. The dad moves next to the bed with a devious look on his face while holding up a joint. The mom looks pleasantly surprised.
Dad: We have been good today. I think we are entitled to a treat.
Mom: Oh…my… you are so bad!
Dad: That sounds like a yes to me.
Mom: That was a yes. Now get over here naughty man.

PAGE SIX (six panels)
Panel 1. Dad is settling in next to the mom on the bed, as the mother continues to watch the computer screen.
Dad: I like that one.
Mom: Yeah…was that Kenneth?

Panel 2. Mom turns her head to face the father, and he looks quite a bit confused.
Dad: What???
Dad: That little girl right there just so happens to be your daughter.
Mom: No, I mean, in the Dodson’s yard. That was Kenneth Dodson, wasn’t it?

Panel 3. The dad is fidgeting around with the joint, picking at it, and looking at it while he is talking. The mother is now turned completely to face him.
Dad: In the hand cuffs?
Mom: Yeah.
Dad: Yes, I am pretty sure that was him.
Mom: There was something wrong with him.
Dad: He was probably messed up, doing drugs or something…
Dad: …my guess, bath salts.

Panel 4 and Panel 5 are side by side, the dialog will originate from the designated speaker.

Panel 4. Close up on the mother, facing panel 5 to the right.

Panel 5. Close up on the father, facing panel 4 to the left.
Dad: With all the businesses that are closing shop and the bigger corporations cutting back, he probably lost his job. Lord knows, most of our friends are unemployed and flirting with bankruptcy. I am sure he just couldn’t bare it.
Mom: But we have known him for such a long time I couldn’t see him falling apart like that.
Dad: What can I say? The whole damn town is going to shit. A person can only take so much of the world hammering down on them before they just come out a little warped.

Panel 6. The mother and father have averted their attention back to the laptop, while the father is handing the joint over.
Mom: You going to share that or what?
Dad: Yeah, yeah.

PAGE SEVEN (six panels)
Panel 1. There is a small, one story, three apartment structure, in between a mixed neighborhood of two story and single story homes. A man, with a ball cap, a light jacket and also a lunch box, is walking up the side walk toward the center apartment in the structure. The man looks as though he is 25-30 years old.
Caption: Meanwhile, nearby.
Panel 2. The man is now inside the hallway of his apartment hanging up his hat behind the door on a mounted coat hook. You can see his friend, similar in age, sitting on the couch in the living room, watching T.V. and smoking from a bong.
Friend: How was work?
Man: SSDD, Same shit, different day…

Panel 3. The man is standing in the doorway to the living room as he talks to his friend who is still on the couch, gesturing to the man with the bong and lighter.
Friend: Well then, I guess it is the perfect day to light this shit up!
Man: Nah…I’ll just have a drink, thanks though.
Friend: No prob, bro, but the offer stands.

Panel 4. View of the living room. The friend is still on the couch watching T.V., while the man disappears into the hallway.
Man: You want anything out of the kitchen?

Panel 5. Man is leaning into the refrigerator. You see the front of the door and he is hunched over looking inside. You can hear his friend coughing from the other room.
SFX: Hack-cough-hukk
Friend: Yeah, bro, grab the sour cream and onion chips!
Man: Alright.

Panel 6. The man is startled by a scream, which causes him to drop his beer on the floor.
Scream: Aaaaaagggghhhhhhhh!!!!

PAGE EIGHT (six panels)
Panel 1. The man rushes back to the living room doorway as the friend is standing and peeking out the blinds, bong still in hand.
Man: What the fuck was that?
Friend: It sounded like a woman…It came from outside, but I don’t see her.

Panel 2. The man and his friend burst through the front door of their apartment, leaving it wide open.
Friend: This shit is really killing my buzz.
Man: Think about someone other than yourself, Shawn. A woman is in troub…holy…mother…of…hell…

Panel 3. Close up on the man looking left, his eyes are wide open and he looks absolutely mortified.
Man: …Shawn…

Panel 4. Close up on the man looking right, still in terror.
Man: …I think it may be best if we go back inside…

Panel 5. Close up on the man facing forward as horror continues to hold him.
Man: …Shawn…

Panel 6. Wide shot of a completely blacked out panel. I would like to see the dialog transition into a scream.
Man: Shawn…what are you….Aaaaagggghhhhhh!!!!

PAGE NINE (nine panels)
Panel 1. Back to the Johnson family home once again. We now focus on the eight year old girl Tiffany, who was awaken by the sounds coming from her parents room right next to hers. She lies, now, awake in bed on her side gripping her teddy bear tight.
Caption: Once again, we return to the Johnson family.
SFX: Thud, creeeeeeeek, thump.

Panel 2. Tiffany sits up in bed and calls out for her parents, while hugging her teddy bear tight to her chest.
Tiffany: Mom…dad…

Panel 3. The young girl is walking down the hallway toward her parent’s room, as the odd noises continue.
SFX: Crack, Bang
Tiffany: …Mom…

Panel 4. Tiffany pushes at her parent’s bedroom door.
Tiffany: …Dad…

Panel 5. There stands, in the middle of her parent’s bedroom, her mother in a tattered evening gown soaked with blood, covered with scratches and talking to herself.
Mom: …I…
Mom: …am…
Mom: …hungry…so
Mom: …so…hungry…
Mom: …I…am…
Tiffany(interrupts): M..mom???
Mom: …hun…

Panel 6. Her mother turns to face her daughter at the door.

Panel 7. Mom lunges at Tiffany as she slams the door shut.
Mom: Errugggglrlrlrl!!!
Tiffany: Aahhh!!!

Panel 8. Tiffany runs down the hallway toward the front door. She is still holding on to her teddy bear by one arm as she runs, huffing the whole way.
Tiffany: Huff, huff, huff.

Panel 9. She reaches the front door and grabs the door knob with her free hand, she is still out of breath.
Tiffany: Huff, huff, huff.

PAGE TEN (one panel and one half of a splash image)
Panel 1. This panel will be at the very top left of page ten. It depicts the girl, Tiffany, as she steps outside her front door to the most horrific scene she has ever bared whiteness. Her face should convey the horror that would be running through this young girl’s brain.

Splash image. The rest of the page will go as follows. The left half of the back of Tiffany’s head (at the bottom right hand side of the page) looking out on the streets overran by, what look to be, zombies, and all of their attention was on her. It should also show Hit man 2 after exiting the vehicle and left his door open, gnawing on the severed arm, which came in contact with the windshield, but he is now looking at her. Hit man 1 has left his door open and has dragged the captive out of the back seat and was eating him.

*Note: The splash image on page ten should line up and match the second half on page eleven.

PAGE ELEVEN (one panel and the second half of the splash image)
Panel 1. This panel belongs in the very bottom right hand corner of the page. All that you see in this panel is, blood soaked, feet, with Tiffany’s teddy bear between them, and the bottom of a tattered evening gown.

Splash image. The rest of the page will go as follows. The right half of the back of Tiffany’s head (at the very bottom left hand side of the page) looking out at the streets overran by, what look to be, zombies, and all of their attention is now on her. On this half you will notice the little, one story, apartment building across the street. You will also notice Shawn, who was currently devouring his roommate, has now set his sights on Tiffany.

*Note: The splash image on page ten should line up and match the second half on page eleven.