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View Full Version : Pitching Challenge Open!


Steven Forbes
11-23-2013, 11:04 AM
Okay, folks!

Again, this has to be a pitch, not a logline.

It has to be of a historical event, with a sci-fi slant.

It has to be for a limited series. No ongoing series will be allowed.

It cannot be of the Tunguska event, the second recent Russian meteor explosion, or the Manhattan Project.

Post the pitches here, discuss them here. Remember that spelling, punctuation, and word usage count.

The challenge ends on 11/30/13.

Let's see what you have!

JeremyRJackson
11-24-2013, 11:54 AM
Title: March of the Condemned.
Historical Event: Last stand of the Armenian genocide.
Sci-fi Slant: Future/Alien Tech.

March of the Condemned is a story about the struggle of the Armenian people, and their forgotten hero, through the Armenian genocide.

We start with our hero, Alik, in the autumn of 1915, in a concentration camp, in what is modern day Turkey. Though Alik wanted to break free and save his two younger sisters, Aleena and Alisia, from a death march through the mountains, he helped a complete stranger escape with, only, the promise of his return with help.

Alik's selflessness and hope is rewarded, when the stranger returned with a powerful weapon, a sword powered by centrifugal force. The blade is capable of wondrous things, due to its artificial gravitational generator. The pressure sensitive smart grip, helps direct great force to the desired target.

After the man helped free the people of the camp, he gave his weapon to Alik as thanks for helping him escape. Alik had to first promise that under no circumstances can he let the blade fall into the wrong hands. After the transfer of ownership, the stranger vanished before Alik's eyes.

Alik tracks his sisters and the death march to a camp in the high lands of Samsun, where the Armenians have their last stand. Alik and his people put up a spectacular fight. Ultimately, the Armenians lose this battle with the cost of every life. Alik and his blade were never found, and to this day, remains a mystery.

Paul LaPorte
11-25-2013, 11:22 AM
1912

Pitch for a graphic novel by Paul LaPorte

Concept: A small alien scouting team is sent down to Earth on an exploratory mission to determine ocean depths. While conducting research in the North Atlantic Ocean, their science vessel, disguised as an ice formation, is struck by a luxury passenger liner known as the RMS Titanic. Their vessel is badly damaged, and it is up to the remaining crew orbiting the Earth to extract their scientists without violating intergalactic non-contact policies.

Story: A peaceful, inquisitive alien race is studying the climate and geography of Earth, as it is the planet most like their own that they have come across while exploring the universe. In an effort to determine the depths of their oceans, and, therefore, exactly how much water the planet contains, they send down a small science team to conduct research. However, they must stay on the surface of the water in order to maintain communications with their ship. Using advanced holographic technology, they disguise their ship as an ice formation so they can conduct their research undetected.

Things start to go wrong when they notice a large passenger liner on the horizon. At this point, they are unable to start their engines and move their vessel without blatantly giving themselves away and making themselves known to those on the boat, which is a strict violation of exploration laws. As the ship gets closer and closer they realize they’re on a collision course, and have no way of avoiding it. They send out a distress call to their home ship shortly before the collision happens and all communication is lost.

At this point, it becomes a race against time. The aliens stranded on Earth are stuck on a damaged vessel that’s systems are rapidly failing. They have no engines, no communications, and it starts to become a question of which will fail first: Their life support systems, killing everyone on board, or their holograms, exposing them to the people of Earth.

While this is happening on Earth, the crew of the ship in space frantically tries to figure out the solution. Bringing their ship into Earth’s atmosphere to recover the vessel risks the possible catastrophic result of damaging their home ship to the point where it cannot leave, but they also know they only have hours before the area is swarming with more ships from Earth who will be looking to rescue survivors and recover the bodies of the dead.

The ship’s chief engineer makes his way to Earth in a small escape pod, finds the research vessel, repairs the engines and programs a course into the vessel’s computer that will direct it away from the wreckage, out towards the center of the Ocean, at which point it will submerge and self-destruct. He brings the crew back with him in the escape pod, and then sets the vessel on its final course. They make it back to the home ship, and the research vessel, sinks, undetected by those on earth, to the bottom of the ocean, where it remains to this day.

The Hook: “History has only told half the story…”

Thejangler
11-25-2013, 11:31 PM
Tentacle Lickin' Good

Pitch: After the Roswell crash of 1947, the United States military confiscated the wreckage of an alien ship. Through research of the ship's remains, the U.S. military hoped to make great technological gains. The ship's most precious cargo, however, teleported themselves off of the vessel safely as it careened towards New Mexico.

The humanoid crash survivors, giving up hope of getting off this planet by reclaiming their ship, decide to disguise themselves as humans. They spread out across North America and agree not to endanger each other by overusing their superior intellect. To keep one another in check, they decide to meet once a year to discuss the events of their lives. While awaiting their eventual rescue, they live as inconspicuously and comfortably as possible. The aliens immerse themselves in their new environments with great success and all seems to go according to plan, until one year when one of the six doesn't show for their annual meeting. The remaining aliens deduce that their missing comrade is the force behind a popular new food throughout the country.

Applying techniques from their home world, the missing alien has developed a secret blend of 11 herbs and spices that, when applied to chicken, is near-irresistible to humans. Driven by greed, ignoring repeated contact from his shipmates and assuming the identity of a Kentucky Colonel, the missing alien pursues this venture to the fullest despite the dangers it poses.

The remaining five aliens attempt to thwart their avaricious shipmate's plans without drawing attention to themselves through sabotage, corporate espionage, culminating in a showdown where the enterprising alien lays out the true motivation behind his actions. Eventually he is eliminated by his brethren, and the remaining five agree to let the brand he created continue since it has become too large and well loved to be quickly taken down without notice.

Without the formula for the secret blend of 11 herbs and spices, business dwindles and the company goes bankrupt. The remaining five aliens all return to their "normal" lives and await their rescue.

scrappy
11-27-2013, 10:43 PM
Quick question, Steven: why did you not want us to choose those events? I really have no interest in them, but when you say "don't write about these three" those, of course, were the only things I could think of. Just wondering. Anyway, here's mind.


Fear Monger


Out of the many failed trials conducted under the CIA's infamous Project MKUltra, one such study at Ohio's Kent State University was successful with devastating results.

In March of 1970, CIA scientists collaborate with Herbert Warren, a professor at the university, to sponsor a small study to test the mind control effects of several psychotropic drugs. Along with other students, Phoebe DeMois is left no choice but to join the study after being fired from her job at the university cafeteria. Several weeks in, no progress seems to be made with the other subjects, but Warren begins to see surprising potential from Phoebe's test results.

In the weeks that follow, Phoebe becomes the sole focus of the study as Warren helps develop and expand her ability to influence others through fear. An invisible loner with no friends or family, Phoebe takes pleasure in the newfound attention Warren gives her, and the two form a father-daughter like relationship. But as her abilities grow and the CIA sees the power she possess, Phoebe starts to feel more like a prisoner and guinea pig rather than a volunteer.

The girl eventually becomes angry with Warren, who she now views as her captor, and resentful of the students who always ignored her (and in turn, failed to notice her disappearance). Infatuated with her increasing power, Phoebe lashes out from within the study’s on-campus facility, fueling the fear, anger and hate of the student protests nearby. After several days of growing tension, Warren begs Phoebe to stop, but she refuses, allowing the violence to culminate in the deaths of several students, an event now known as the Kent State Massacre.

In the aftermath of the event, the CIA ships Phoebe away to a special prison cell far away from civilization. And Project MKUltra is eventually shut down several years later for fear the CIA might unknowingly create another monster.

Steven Forbes
12-02-2013, 11:15 AM
Hey! I'm late, but thankfully, no one else has posted after the date!

Some fun, here! One of them I'd read, two I wouldn't, and one that was just strangely fun!

So, let's talk about them! And the poll is going up in a moment!

JeremyRJackson
12-02-2013, 06:09 PM
Hey! I'm late, but thankfully, no one else has posted after the date!

Some fun, here! One of them I'd read, two I wouldn't, and one that was just strangely fun!

So, let's talk about them! And the poll is going up in a moment!

Could I also have people give me feedback, suggestions, to let me know if I set up my pitch properly. I am interested to learn more than anything.

scrappy
12-02-2013, 09:30 PM
I'm not a master when it comes to pitches, but I'll give my personal critique for what it's worth.

March of the Condemned-

First off, the logline falls a little flat. From what I gathered, it needs to not only sum up the story but really sucker me into reading it. Your first line is really general and it doesn't even mention the sci-fi element.

Next, now I don't want to downplay the Armenian Genocide any. God knows every genocide is an important historical event and tragedy. But it just doesn't hold that much weight as a historical event I could relate to. I haven't heard that much about it and it happened almost a hundred years ago (judging by your date). So to try and get into the story, at least for me personally, is a little bit of a challenge.

As for the story itself, it seems as if it's spinning its wheels a bit. A stranger repays his debt by giving a boy a weird sword only to have them lose in the end anyway. I don't want to say, "what's the point?" But that's kind of what I'm getting from it. Especially since I feel disconnected from the event.

1912-

I love the concept. The idea of the Titanic hitting something pretending to be an iceberg is a nice twist. But I see some problems.

First off, you really have no logline. The concept area serves as the logline, but its WAY too long and filled with needless information (as is the whole pitch in general). All the stuff about why the ship needs to be above water and the exact purpose of the visit isn't needed here. In the actual story sure, but not in a pitch.

Secondly there are a lot of plot holes in the outlined story. You say the ship doesn't want to move because it doesn't want to risk exposing itself. I would assume in most cases if the options are get hit and die or move, they would move. Especially since the Titanic really doesn't see them anyway. Also it seems weird that the chief engineer is the only one capable of saving the day. There's no one on the ship capable of fixing it?

Lastly, (and this is the big one for me) this story really has nothing to do with the Titanic. Sure, it involves the Titanic, but it could be any thing that hits it really. At anytime too. As soon as the Titanic hits the iceberg its out of the picture. So what's the point? I want to see more interaction with the actual historical event and the time period. Otherwise the historical aspect of the story is meaningless.

Also your hook is incredibly vague and general. It could apply to anything.

Tentacle Lickin' Good-

Strange story. I like it, but strange. A question I have is: what's really the historical event here? The alien landing at Roswell? Which isn't a "real" event anyway. Maybe the founding of KFC? But is that a historical event?

Anyway, a problem with your pitch is you leave out a key piece of info: "The remaining five aliens attempt to thwart their avaricious shipmate's plans without drawing attention to themselves through sabotage, corporate espionage, culminating in a showdown where the enterprising alien lays out the true motivation behind his actions." So....what were his motivations? What was the point? He had a plan, right? I need to know what the endgame is otherwise the story is no good to me.

On a side note, I would have liked to see the other aliens all get into their own fast food enterprises. For instance, in an effort to beat the chicken alien the other aliens start up burger fast food places. So all the major fast food chains are run by aliens. But that's just me.

Paul LaPorte
12-03-2013, 12:50 AM
1912-

I love the concept. The idea of the Titanic hitting something pretending to be an iceberg is a nice twist. But I see some problems.

First off, you really have no logline. The concept area serves as the logline, but its WAY too long and filled with needless information (as is the whole pitch in general). All the stuff about why the ship needs to be above water and the exact purpose of the visit isn't needed here. In the actual story sure, but not in a pitch.

We were told to write a pitch, not a logline, and I did such. The purpose of the visit, and it's need to be above water took up exactly two sentences.


Secondly there are a lot of plot holes in the outlined story. You say the ship doesn't want to move because it doesn't want to risk exposing itself. I would assume in most cases if the options are get hit and die or move, they would move.

The options weren't "get hit and die, or move". They were "crash into something and keep their cover", or "move out of the way and risk giving themselves away, and breaking a pretty severe law." That's not as clear cut as you make it sound.

Especially since the Titanic really doesn't see them anyway.

Easily explained. If the ship needs to power on it could put out a huge amount of light, make a huge amount of noise, or require them to drop their holograms. I didn't want to get too in depth with this because it was just a pitch.


Also it seems weird that the chief engineer is the only one capable of saving the day. There's no one on the ship capable of fixing it?

It's a very small crew for the mission, five or less. How many engineers would you expect a crew of researchers to bring?


Lastly, (and this is the big one for me) this story really has nothing to do with the Titanic. Sure, it involves the Titanic, but it could be any thing that hits it really. At anytime too. As soon as the Titanic hits the iceberg its out of the picture. So what's the point? I want to see more interaction with the actual historical event and the time period. Otherwise the historical aspect of the story is meaningless.

I can't really defend that one, that's just personal preference. I was told to write a sci-fi story based around an historical event. That's what I did. The criteria didn't mention how in-depth you needed to be with the event itself, and to me I found it much more interesting to take a look at some fictional event that happened along-side or as a result or something that happened in history than to just re-hash stories that have been told too many times about the historical event itself.



Also your hook is incredibly vague and general. It could apply to anything.

And if you saw that tag line on the back of a book, you wouldn't read the next line to see what it was referring to?

I'm sorry, man. I don't mean to be catty about this, but I actually put a ton of thought into the pitch and a story that would go behind it, and for you to tell me that I unnecessarily explained some things while pointing out "plot holes" in the very next sentence got my back up, I had to explain some things and defend myself. Thanks for the input, though.

scrappy
12-03-2013, 08:57 AM
Sure. I'll go a couple rounds with ya.

We were told to write a pitch, not a logline, and I did such. The purpose of the visit, and it's need to be above water took up exactly two sentences.

True. But based on what I've read about pitches (and the link Steven provided us about anthology pitches) the first line of the pitch should be a form of a logline. While a logline is typically bland and informative. This type of logline should be something that tells you the whole story while also drawing you in immediately. This concept is kind of perfect for that, so it shouldn't be too hard.

Also, the pitches (or at least my understanding of them) should be as precise and short as possible. Only vital information that propels the story, its characters and the themes. That info about being above water I felt wasn't necessary, regardless of how many sentences it took up.

Like I said originally, I've never really written a pitch before nor have I any experience with them. This was just my own personal opinion from what I read about them.

The options weren't "get hit and die, or move". They were "crash into something and keep their cover", or "move out of the way and risk giving themselves away, and breaking a pretty severe law." That's not as clear cut as you make it sound.

When writing dialogue for that scene, I imagine it's going to come up. It seems to me kind of stupid to just have them sit there and take the hit. Maybe one of the aliens wants to move but the others hold him back? I don't know. It just seems silly. Who is watching them with this law? And the rescue operation seems kind of crazy. They weren't worried about getting found out then? What about leaving the ship? They weren't worried about humans finding it eventually and giving away their existence? There has to be laws about leaving alien technology behind too.

I know the problem you have. You have to find a way to make the ship hit the Titanic while giving them a reason not to move. I just don't think the "its against intergalactic law" excuse is a strong one. I think you have a perfect one staring you in the face. You have a reciprocal story with the Titanic. Just flip it.

Easily explained. If the ship needs to power on it could put out a huge amount of light, make a huge amount of noise, or require them to drop their holograms. I didn't want to get too in depth with this because it was just a pitch.

Fair enough. But to me this goes with I said above. These seem more like excuses to have the ship get hit than natural progressions of the story.

It's a very small crew for the mission, five or less. How many engineers would you expect a crew of researchers to bring?

My thought process being the iceberg the Titanic hit was huge. So it would be a fully manned ship.

Also personally, I'm not a fan of the "let's sit here and wait for someone with the expertise to save us" plot. Unless it's something crazy like Argo.

I can't really defend that one, that's just personal preference. I was told to write a sci-fi story based around an historical event. That's what I did. The criteria didn't mention how in-depth you needed to be with the event itself, and to me I found it much more interesting to take a look at some fictional event that happened along-side or as a result or something that happened in history than to just re-hash stories that have been told too many times about the historical event itself.

Yeah. Fair enough. I personally love historical fiction. I like seeing how writers cleverly wrap their fictional stories into real history. With this, if you're not going to tie the story closer to the Titanic (which might be hard) then at least have it be a parallel. I think that's the key to making it be a good historical story. The story everyone knows is the Titanic hit an iceberg because of their own hubris, right? What if across the galaxy the story every alien knows is the luxury off-world cruise liner, the SS Iceberg, hit a human ship because of their own hubris? Make it be a true parallel but with aliens. That would tie the story more to the themes of the historical event and give the history of the Titanic meaning to the story, rather than just having it as a generic plot device.

But like I said, this is just my opinion. I'm not a pitch expert or an editor. Just a guy with personal tastes.

And if you saw that tag line on the back of a book, you wouldn't read the next line to see what it was referring to?

Not really because it tells me absolutely nothing about the story. It's kind of a lazy tagline that I'm sure has probably been used for something before. I would want a hint at the historical event. Maybe, "the Titanic wasn't the only ship that sunk that night." Or maybe, "in 1912 the great Titanic sunk after hitting an iceberg. Or at least...what it thought was one."

Scribbly
12-03-2013, 04:23 PM
Scrappy is jealous. :rolleyes:

JerryREX
12-10-2013, 04:49 AM
Omg, I just wrote a bunch of feedback for everyone and once I hit 'post reply', everything I wrote disappeared. Ugh!!!!!


Sorry guys I couldn't participate :-( I've been trying to write a talent submission, work 40+ hours, and keep my girlfriend happy at the same time. (I know, I know... Excuses, excuses.) lmao.


I'm just going to write this quickly since I need to sleep very soon, and coming in late to work would suck hardcore.

Thejangler- Tentacle Lickin' Good was really great! It was ingenious, funny, and I wanted to know more about the aliens personalities, and how they planned to take out the colonel. It was just enough info for me to keep my interest.

Paul, scrappy has a point, and I feel that everyone's opinion counts- even if you think he's being harsh. I feel like the alien scientists must have been one of the smartest alien-beings from their planet, and if they have alien technology to avoid humans, how can they not avoid a huge ship like the Titanic on a collision course? I understand that the Alien laws take into play, but that's a bit boring. I think that maybe if the alien crew was having a party of some sort, the whole crew got smashed (off of whatever drugs you think they could've been intaking), and THEN they get hit by this monstrous ship named the titanic. It would create the panic and chaos you really want the reader to feel. Then, the reader would be like, damn... The Aliens are in a pickle that could've happened to anybody in any other situation. Humanizing the aliens a bit more could have been fun, and the alien party could have been a page turner. Sorry Paul. I wuv you, I swear! And I know you put a lot of work into this, but criticism could take the pitch to another level. I think that's why writers in New York get smashed together at bars and create awesome comics. It's the collaborations and harsh criticisms that'll make all of us better in the long run.

Scrappy- First off, I wasn't familiar with the historical event, but at the end of the pitch I saw that there was a massacre that occurred. Any massacre, in my opinion, is a neck-breaker... You just want to know what the hell happened, so I think that maybe you should of started with the massacre. Maybe the pitch should have been revolved around the massacre. Start with Pheobe instlling fear upon everyone because of the psychotropic drugs, then the story can follow up with how she was treated in the experiments. Then, show how the relationship between warren and phoebe grows between them. Warren loves her as a daughter, then Pheobe is gets out of control. The CIA almost kills Pheobe, but then Warren convinces the CIA that he has a plan, then Warren takes the psychotropic drug and instills fear upon Pheobe and Warren saves the day while losing the daughter he never had. Tragic, yet It explains how the CIA imprisons her at the end.

Jeremy, I believe that your pitch could've been a lot more stronger. So, Alik chooses to save a stranger for no reason, while he could have saved his own blood. I'd say use that character trait against him in the script. So, this stranger doesn't know him at all and hands him a sword of great gravitational power. Sounds awesome, but wouldn't it be cool if the sword had another power that the stranger didn't tell him about?? Add a flaw to the second power. Maybe the sword had the power to make the wielder a traitor. So, Alik thinks he is using the sword to help his people and his sisters, but the sword makes him fight against the Armenians, ultimately killing off his own people. The stranger set him up! Moral of the story would be to take care of your own before anything else. Plus, it will explain why he was a forgotten hero.


All in all, this was a treat to read. And, I really hope everyone takes my criticisms lightly! Let's just try to sincerely help each other. We all have the same goal- I hope, and it should be to better ourselves as creators.

Paul LaPorte
12-10-2013, 09:51 AM
Paul, scrappy has a point, and I feel that everyone's opinion counts- even if you think he's being harsh. I feel like the alien scientists must have been one of the smartest alien-beings from their planet, and if they have alien technology to avoid humans, how can they not avoid a huge ship like the Titanic on a collision course? I understand that the Alien laws take into play, but that's a bit boring. I think that maybe if the alien crew was having a party of some sort, the whole crew got smashed (off of whatever drugs you think they could've been intaking), and THEN they get hit by this monstrous ship named the titanic. It would create the panic and chaos you really want the reader to feel. Then, the reader would be like, damn... The Aliens are in a pickle that could've happened to anybody in any other situation. Humanizing the aliens a bit more could have been fun, and the alien party could have been a page turner. Sorry Paul. I wuv you, I swear! And I know you put a lot of work into this, but criticism could take the pitch to another level. I think that's why writers in New York get smashed together at bars and create awesome comics. It's the collaborations and harsh criticisms that'll make all of us better in the long run.


Thanks man. I know I got defensive with Scrappy's crit, and I knew I was being defensive. It just stuck me as odd with how he described the things wrong with it, and didn't offer any alternatives. I actually really like your idea of them being distracted in some sort of way, maybe by celebrating a successful mission, something like that, and then they get blasted by the Titanic. Thanks for the feedback.

scrappy
12-10-2013, 01:36 PM
Scrappy is jealous. :rolleyes:

got me there.:banana:


Scrappy- First off, I wasn't familiar with the historical event, but at the end of the pitch I saw that there was a massacre that occurred. Any massacre, in my opinion, is a neck-breaker... You just want to know what the hell happened, so I think that maybe you should of started with the massacre. Maybe the pitch should have been revolved around the massacre. Start with Pheobe instlling fear upon everyone because of the psychotropic drugs, then the story can follow up with how she was treated in the experiments. Then, show how the relationship between warren and phoebe grows between them. Warren loves her as a daughter, then Pheobe is gets out of control. The CIA almost kills Pheobe, but then Warren convinces the CIA that he has a plan, then Warren takes the psychotropic drug and instills fear upon Pheobe and Warren saves the day while losing the daughter he never had. Tragic, yet It explains how the CIA imprisons her at the end.


Yeah I was thinking about mentioning the massacre at the beginning of the pitch. But my hope was that the tragedy was recognizable enough that just by mentioning the name it would pique the reader's interest. You obviously disproved that theory. So thanks. lol

JeremyRJackson
12-16-2013, 09:06 PM
Jeremy, I believe that your pitch could've been a lot more stronger. So, Alik chooses to save a stranger for no reason, while he could have saved his own blood. I'd say use that character trait against him in the script. So, this stranger doesn't know him at all and hands him a sword of great gravitational power. Sounds awesome, but wouldn't it be cool if the sword had another power that the stranger didn't tell him about?? Add a flaw to the second power. Maybe the sword had the power to make the wielder a traitor. So, Alik thinks he is using the sword to help his people and his sisters, but the sword makes him fight against the Armenians, ultimately killing off his own people. The stranger set him up! Moral of the story would be to take care of your own before anything else. Plus, it will explain why he was a forgotten hero.

You see I actually had so much more I wanted to add to this but I was trying to slim it down a lot. So then I assume that there is a fine line that I will be dancing while I prepare my pitches. That is good to know.

I would like thank you all for your time, and feed back.
Jeremy R. Jackson.

Charles
12-16-2013, 11:35 PM
Just now reading this thread.

Some entertaining stuff, here, to be certain. I don't even know what a logline is.

Boy, that poll sure didn't stay open long, did it?

To me, the most colorful of the four entries was Tentacle Lickin' Good. The Roswell Crash was a historical event. The aspect about aliens is beside the point. The government, at some point along the line, contended that it was a weather balloon that crashed, didn't it? So, there was a Roswell Crash in 1947, after all, it seems. Whether aliens are real or not is immaterial, as Steven dictated that the event (a crash) be historical, and it is not only historical it is widely known.

A space alien assumes the identity of a Kentucky Colonel. That's nice. The secret blend of herbs and spices makes for a nice alien conspiracy.

That said, I did like the 1912 one about the Titanic. The concept, itself, was very good, but the pitch, itself, had no clincher, for me.

I had no problem with the fact that the Titanic actually struck an alien vessel. That they use advanced holographic technology does not have to be equated with all of their technology being advanced. Maybe they have never encountered a populated world, before. Perhaps they didn't even know that ships existed on our planet. Maybe their landing vessel/science vessel was a limited purpose craft.

Having the aliens escape certainly will cut the series short. But, I find myself wondering why the alien science vessel didn't get stuck to the Titanic. The series could still be cut short, in that the science vessel goes down to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic - only the alien crew are still alive. They would be stranded. How would the aliens in orbit in the mothership (or whatever you call it for these particular aliens) mount a rescue, when other ships arrive on the scene to rescue the Titanic's survivors? The aliens came to determine ocean depths (How boring is that?), and now, they find out first-hand.

March of the Condemned started off well enough, but you take a serious note like a concentration camp, and toss in a special sword with a blade that has an artificial gravitational generator. Say what?! You forfeited a personal, human connection in favor of a gadget. The sword, itself, is the least interesting thing in that pitch. I think that March of the Condemned was my least favorite of the bunch.

Fear Monger has me thinking X-men, for some reason. Pitch-wise, I think that Fear Monger was a better pitch than March of the Condemned.

My choice would go in this order, top to bottom:

1. Tentacle Lickin' Good
2. 1912
3. Fear Monger
4. March of the Condemned

Hope I'm not butting in to something that was just for the ones participating.