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Steven Forbes
11-09-2013, 06:40 PM
Okay, folks! The writing challenge is now open!

Once again, this is has to be a superhero that is not of your own creation, in a comedic, slice of life situation, and toilet tissue has to be mentioned in the dialogue.

Five pages, no profanity, no erotica.

Challenge ends on 11/16/13.

Let's have some fun!

Scribbly
11-14-2013, 11:48 AM
11/14/13
Here I go. Shoot me your missiles.



BATMAN,
ARKHAM TALES: HARD TO GET

Note: All the character's designs and settings have by reference
ARKHAM CITY the game.

PAGE 1
Panel 1
Splash panel. Half page.
DAY-INTERIOR-Gotham City Bank. See reference.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eeAU7qxlgIs/UkwPbPD_hKI/AAAAAAAAGS4/g27T0FLHxqg/s1600/Potters+Bank+from+balcony++ORL.jpg
Low POV.
Harley Quinn and the clowns henchmen of Joker are bursting by the
front door of the Bank. The clowns are carrying heavy gun machines and shotguns.
Harley is shooting up to the ceiling with her big gun.

HARLEY: Everybody down! This is a robbery!
SFX: Blam! Blam!

Panel 2
Harley is doing cartwheels, jumping towards the cashier's counter.
HARLEY: And now kids, show, me, the money!

Panel 3
Harley pointing her gun to the cashier's forehead who is handling her
a large travel bag full of cash.
HARLEY: Thanks! You can keep the small change sweetie.

Panel 4
Close up.
Harley looking back and up over her shoulder.
SFX: CRASH!


PAGE 2
Panel 1
Batman standing in the foreground in middle of the Bank's lobby.
Clenched fists. Glasses all around in the floor.
(He did enter by the skylight of the Bank) See reference: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rzlSHTP8I9c/UkwPgdrwzwI/AAAAAAAAGTI/Tn7hovfGFyw/s1600/Potters+Bank+building+skylight+ORL.jpg
In the background, Harley gives the word and the clowns are jumping to attack Batman.
HARLEY: The Baty snitch. Get him boys!

Panel 2
Batman fighting the clowns.

Panel 3
Fight continues.

Panel 4
Fight ends. Batman punching down the last and bigger clown.

Panel 5
Harley walks towards Batman. Shy and innocent attitude.
One hand is holding up the bag with money, the other hand is hidden on her back.
HARLEY: Oh, I'm so sorry. Here, take this and we still friends OK?

Panel 6
Batman standing inexpressive at Harley who approaches very seductive.
Knocked out clowns scattered all around the floor.
HARLEY: What, do you want something else?

Panel 7
HARLEY: I'm sorry! The position is taken!
Harley stabbing Batman in the cheek with a small syringe.


PAGE 3
Panel 1
Splash panel.
INTERIOR- JOKER"S DEN.
Harley triumphant, full of money in her hands.
She is opening the big double door in the Joker's den. Balloons having the face of Joker on it
and shredded paper falling down. Carnival style.
The clowns are carrying the bags with money and Batman.
Batman unconscious and tied up by three big metallic bands to a big pole carried by wheels.

HARLEY: Tada! Happy birthday Mr. J. Happy birthday to you!

In the foreground, close up of the Joker's face, almost in darkness, looking at camera.
He looks surprised and disconcerted .

Panel 2
Behind the Joker we can see his huge command console with multiple TV screens on it.
See reference: http://www.techinteriors.com/assets/img/markets/military/matrix-evo_large.jpg
The joker is approaching the group. He looks emotional, touched, crushing his hands against his chest.

JOKER: All this... for me? But, is not even my birthday.

Panel 3
Harley enthusiastic at the joker.
HARLEY: I feel every day as your especial day and I wanted to bring you a nice present!

Panel 4
A tear is rolling down the Joker's face. The joker is stretching his arms for reaching Harley's hands.
JOKER: Oh, you are so kind. You shouldn't.

Panel 5
Close up. Joker handcuffing Harley's hands.

JOKER in off : And what's coming next?
Should I start thinking on my retirement?
HARLEY in off: ?!


PAGE 4
Panel 1
Wide panel.
Harley handcuffed next to Batman.
Joker is giving his back to them very interested on counting the money in the bags.

HARLEY: But, Pumpkin, I wanted to please you. I didn't meant...
JOKER: You didn't meant, what? For your information,
I am the only calling the shots 'n here, do you remember?

Panel 2
Side POV. Profile of Batman and the Joker.
Joker curious, closer to Batman, going to take the mask away.
JOKER: Although, it could be interesting if...

Panel 3 (Continuation.)
Joker having a thought.

Panel 4 (Continuation.)
Joker pompous giving his back to Batman.
JOKER : Never mind. I don't care who you are.
I rather hate you for what you represent.

Panel 5
Wide panel.
Joker leaving Harley and Batman behind with a time bomb in the floor near to them.
JOKER: Farewell. Don't be sad. I will be expending all this money somewhere.


PAGE 5
Panel 1
Harley did free herself from the handcuffs. Now she is trying to free Batman
from his locks.
Batman awakening from the effects of the drug.
HARLEY: Don't worry Batsy. I know how...
BATMAN: What...?

Panel 2
Big explosion blasting on Harley's back.
SFX: BOOOM!
BATMAN: Nooo!

Panel 3
Smoke.
Batman on his knees holding a seriously injured Harley.
HARLEY: I just, I was... Why it got to be so hard...?

Panel 4
Batman standing and turning his back to camera.
He' is carrying Harley on his arms engulfing her with his cape.
HARLEY: I, I'm nobody's toilet tissue you know?
I was just looking for some...

Panel 5
Batman, his back to camera, leaving the scene of devastation carrying Harley.
Smokes and the black silhouette of Joker's console of command shattered.
BATMAN: I know, I know.

END.

Paul LaPorte
11-14-2013, 04:34 PM
Negotiations...

Page One

Panel One: Establishing shot. Spider-Man swinging high through the streets of New York.

1. NARRATION: We catch up with our superhero as he makes his rounds, swinging through the streets of New York City on a warm summer afternoon!
2. NARRATION: But it seems something is bothering the webbed wonder!
3. SPIDER-MAN: Oh man, I shouldn’t have had that shawarma right before going out on patrol!

Page Two

Panel One: Tight shot of Spider-Man’s face as he contemplates his next move.

4. SPIDER-MAN: There’s no way I’m going to make it home. I’m going to have to figure something else out!

Panel Two: Shot of an open window to a bathroom in an NYC apartment.

5. SPIDER-MAN (OFF PAGE): A-ha…

Panel Three: Wide shot of Spider-Man from behind as he swings towards the apartment.

6. SPIDER-MAN: I’ll just swing in here.
7. SPIDER-MAN: Do… What I need to do.
8. SPIDER-MAN: And be gone before anyone knows it!

Panel Four: Spidey as he swings into the bathroom.

9. SPIDER-MAN: I’m out here protecting the city every day.
10. SPIDER-MAN: I’m sure the owner wouldn’t mind me making a pit stop.

Panel Five: Close up of Spider-Man’s tights bunched up around his ankles as he sits on the toilet.

11. SPIDER-MAN: Aaaahhhhhh…

Panel Six: Close up of Spider-Man’s face as he… Finishes up.

12. SPIDER-MAN: Much better.
13. SPIDER-MAN: Now I’ll just…

Panel Seven: Spider-Man with a look of surprise on his face.

14. SPIDER MAN (BURST): What the!?

Panel Eight: A tight shot of an empty roll of toilet paper sitting in the holder.

15. SPIDER-MAN: Oh no!
16. SPIDER-MAN: They’re out of toilet paper!

Page Three

Panel One: Wide angle shot of Spider-Man, sitting on the toiler, as he frantically looks around for toilet paper.

17. SPIDER-MAN: Oh man!
18. SPIDER-MAN: You gotta be kidding me!

Panel Two: Spider-Man using his webs to open cabinets across the room in his search for TP.

19. SFX: thwip
20. SFX: thwip

Panel Three: First person view of Spidey, looking inside the cabinets he just opened. No TP.

21. SPIDER-MAN: Nothing!

Panel Four: Low close up of two sneakered feet standing in the doorway of the bathroom looking in.

22. VOICE (OFF PANEL): Looking for something?

Panel Five: Full body shot of Spidey, surprised by the other person in the room. Covering himself up.

23. SPIDER-MAN (BURST): Aaah!

Panel Six: Close up of a twelve year old boy. Caucasian, freckles, red hair, grinning devilishly. Hands behind his back.

24. BOY: I can get you some toilet paper…

Panel Seven: Close up of Spidey as he talks with the kid.

25. SPIDER-MAN: Boy kid, that’s great.
26. SPIDER-MAN: That’ll be a bi--

Panel Eight: Tight shot of the boy’s face, full of mischief.

27. BOY: --For a price.

Page Four

Panel One: Wide shot of the inside of the bathroom. Showing Spidey sitting down and the boy in the doorway.

28. SPIDER-MAN: Kid, quit screwing around, I gotta get--
29. KID: I want your mask.
30. SPIDER-MAN (BURST): What!?

Panel Two: Upper body of Spider-Man, his arms making an exasperated jester.

31. SPIDER-MAN: I can’t give you my mask!

Panel Three: Another wide-angle shot of the bathroom. Both characters in the same positions.

32. KID: Why, is that the only one you have?
33. SPIDER-MAN: No, I have more than one, I just--
34. KID: --Then you won’t miss this one.

Panel Four: Spidey hanging his head, accepting defeat.

35. SPIDER-MAN: *sign*
36. SPIDER-MAN: Fine…

Panel Five: Close up of the boy, an excited look on his face.

37. BOY: Really!?

Panel Six: Spidey reaching back, untying his mask.

38. SPIDER-MAN: Yes, really.
39. SPIDER-MAN: You’ve caught me with my pants down.
40. SPIDER-MAN: Literally.

Panel Seven: Shot from behind of the boy, holding the toilet paper behind his back.

41. BOY: This is gonna be so cool!
42. BOY: My own real Spider-Man mask!

Page Five

Panel One: Close up of Spidey’s hand outstretched, and the Boy’s hand outstretched, Spidey holding his mask, the boy holding the TP.

43. SPIDER-MAN: Whatever, kid.
44. SPIDER-MAN: Just hand it over.

Panel Two: Full body shot of Spider-Man, holding the TP in his hand, de-masked.

45. SPIDER MAN: Now can I please have some privacy?

Panel Three: Close up of the boy, holding the mask in wonderment. His back turned to the bathroom.

46. BOY: Oh man…
47. BOY: This is so cool!
48. SFX: thwip

Panel Four: The boy with a look of confusion on his face as a string of web hits the mask.

49. BOY: What the!?

Panel Five: Wide shot of the bathroom, Spider-Man half out the window, pulling the mask away from the kid on a web as he takes off.

50. BOY (BURST): Noooo!!!
51. SPIDER-MAN: Sucker!

Panel Six: Behind shot of the boy, leaning out the window and shaking his fist as Spider-Man swings away.

52. BOY (BURST): Curse you Spider-Man!!!

Scribbly
11-16-2013, 11:13 AM
Hey Paul, watch this out pal.
Once again, this is has to be a superhero that is not of your own creation, in a comedic, slice of life situation, and toilet tissue has to be mentioned in the dialogue.
Toilet tissue, not toilet paper.(Maybe you can adjust it on time.)
Cheerios.

Newt
11-16-2013, 02:52 PM
The Justice League faces its most annoying foe yet: Bratman!

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

ARTHUR (Aquaman)
BRUCE (Batman)
CLARK (Superman)
DIANA (Wonder Woman)
DICK (Robin)
J'ONN (Martian Manhunter)
WALLY (the Flash)

Note: all characters are in costume unless otherwise noted.

PAGE 1
TITLE BLOCK
Across top of page. Use official Justice League and Batman titles. Add "hand-written" red lowercase r and carrot to Batman.

TEXT: The Justice League faces its most annoying foe yet: Bratman!

PANEL 1
Exterior view of Justice League satellite base. Background of stars. We can just see curve of Earth's surface at panel left.

ARTHUR (from inside station): AUGGHHHH!

PANEL 2
Wide view of library. This room has lots of bookshelves, carpeted floor, etc. and looks pretty mundane except for a Kryptonian robot hanging out unobtrusively in the background, some space age light fixtures, and a vaguely Star Trek-ish sliding door.

Clark is sitting in a small chair, working on some electronics scattered across the desk in front of him; he seems to be making a robotic component. J'onn is sitting in an overstuffed armchair, reading a thick book. Diana is sitting on a bench, playing cat's cradle; she is in foreground, head-and-shoulders only. Wally is leaning against a bookcase, playing a handheld videogame. Everyone but Wally looks up from what they are doing at Arthur, who is standing in the doorway to panel left. Arthur has what appears to be shaving cream on his face, which he is mopping at with a towel. He has an angry expression.

ARTHUR: We've got to do something about Bruce!

CLARK: What did he do this time, Arthur?

SFX (Wally's videogame) (small): pew pew

PANEL 3
Closeup (head) shot of Arthur, who is using the towel to clean out his ear. We can now see green flecks and such in the "shaving cream". Arthur's expression is still angry, but now has an element of disgust too.

ARTHUR: He replaced my shaving cream with tartar sauce!

PANEL 4
Closeup shot of Wally, still looking at his video game.

WALLY (small): heh.

ARTHUR (off panel): You think it's funny, Wally?

WALLY: No, I'm with you. I'm pretty sure he's the one who put Teflon on my soles last week.

SFX (Wally's videogame) (small): pew pew BOOOMMMM

PANEL 5
Over Clark's shoulder, looking at Arthur, still in doorway, now with face cleaned of tartar sauce and towel held in left hand at his side. Clark is entreating, Arthur stern.

ARTHUR: He's pulled crap on all of us! I don't know if poor Hal will ever come back--

CLARK: Yeah, that yellow toilet tissue really did a number on him.

ARTHUR (connected to previous balloon): You should just be glad he's finally out of kryptonite!

CLARK (connected to previous balloon): I know, Arthur, but we've gotta be patient with him. You know he lost his parents--


PAGE 2
PANEL 1
Medium shot. Arthur to left, hands spread wide, gesturing with his left hand toward J'onn. Clark in foreground.
ARTHUR: So? My parents are dead, your parents are dead - heck, J'onn's whole species is dead and he doesn't act like a turd!

PANEL 2
Closeup of J'onn, looking up, towards us and slightly to our left; he is hurt, red eyes getting big and teary. His lip is trembling. BG is blank; fill in appropriately emotional color.
SFX (lip): wobble wobble

PANEL 3
Pull back out to previous shot. J'onn is running toward door through which Arthur entered, holding hands to face and weeping. Clark is standing up, hands still on table, looking towards J'onn, concern and exasperation in his posture. Arthur has his shoulders back and hands out, like, "What did I do?". Diana is also watching J'onn go, rolling her eyes and sneering contemptuously. Wally looks up, smiling, from his game.

J'ONN: Booooo!

CLARK: Cheese and rice, Arthur, do you have to be so blunt?

ARTHUR: I'm sorry, J'onn, I--

WALLY: My parents live in Boca!

ARTHUR (connected to previous balloon): That's great, Wally.

WALLY'S GAME (electric) (small): New high score!


PANEL 4
Closer shot; Arthur and Clark, and now Wally has moved into their space. Clark is flying in the direction J'onn ran off, but in a dejected way, shoulders slumped and knees bent. Arthur is grimacing and pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. Wally is beside him; he is in a static position, but speed lines show that he just ran there. He is holding his hands in front of him to indicate the shape of his parent's condo.

CLARK: I'll go talk to him.

WALLY: They have a swell condo with a pool and a palm tree and its pretty close to the beach and--

ARTHUR: Why don't you go visit them now, Wally?

WALLY (connected to previous balloon): Hey, that's a good idea!

SFX (Wally): zip

PANEL 5
Over Diana's shoulder, looking toward door. Blur effect of Wally running out the door. Arthur is watching him go. Diana is looking at her cat's cradle.

WALLY: Bye!

DIANA: Clark is a fool.

SFX (Wally): zip


PAGE 3
PANEL 1
Close-up of Diana, looking rather supercilious, holding up her increasingly intricate cat's cradle.

DIANA: Bruce acts out because he is frustrated about being so anareté, so, ah, weak and useless.


PANEL 2
Close-up of Arthur. He has dubious expression.

ARTHUR: So, what do you suggest we do?


PANEL 3
DIANA: Ignore him.


PANEL 4
Wide panel, closeup of Diana's cat's cradle. Angled so that only her eyes are visible above it, and a suggestion of her lower face behind it.

DIANA: He picks on you because you respond to him. He leaves me alone because I do not.

ARTHUR (off-panel): Uh-huh. Did you know he's been auctioning your panties online?


PANEL 5
This panel is an inset in upper left of Panel 6. Closeup of Diana. She is snarling, furious. She has pulled her hands apart, destroying the cat's cradle.

DIANA (burst balloon, large, angry font): He WHAT?!!

SFX (threads of cat's cradle) (small): snap snap snap

PANEL 6
Wide shot, Arthur and Diana. Diana is stalking towards the door, leaning forward bullishly, hands tensed into claws at sides; Arthur has his hands up placatingly, his head tilted back, a smile on his face.

DIANA (connected to Diana's balloon in previous panel): I will kill him!

ARTHUR: Slow down, Diana!

DIANA (connected to previous balloon): I will wring his puny mortal neck!

ARTHUR (connected to previous balloon): Let's not have a murder on our hands!

DIANA (new balloon, angry font): Why not?!

PANEL 7
Inset in lower right of Panel 6. Closeup of Arthur, with mock-sinister grin, face tilted down so that his eyes are in shadow.

ARTHUR: Because I have a better idea.


PAGE 4
PANEL 1
Wide shot, Dick's room. If not for the metal walls and sliding door, it could be any 13-year-old boy's room, a little messy, with lots of posters (rock bands, swimsuit models, martial artists, etc.) on the walls, hand-to-hand weapons and various toys (robots, kaiju) on a few shelves and the top of his chest-of-drawers.

Bruce is standing to panel left, looking at his fingernails as if to emphasize how ordinary the exploits he's bragging about are for him; Dick is sitting on his bed to the right, listening raptly.

BRUCE: So then Supes was all like, "Thanks for saving us from the League of Evil, Batman!" and I was like, "Whatever, loser!" and then Wonder Woman was all like, "I want your body, Batman!"

PANEL 2
Medium shot of Dick with an expression of wonder on his face.

DICK: No way!

BRUCE (off panel): Yeah, dude, so I totally made out with her.

PANEL 3
Medium shot of Bruce, leaning forward excitedly.

BRUCE: Hey, let's go to the training room! I wanna test my new immobilizer grenades!

PANEL 4
Close up of Dick, looking put out.

DICK: Aw, man, I hate those things. Why don't you get somebody else to be your guinea pig?

PANEL 5
Wide shot. Bruce has shoved Dick face down on the bed and is twisting his arm behind his back. The door is now visible; there is a speaker above it.

BRUCE: 'Cuz I got you, wuss!

DICK: Ow! Okay, okay, I'll go!

SPEAKER (electric): All League members to council room. Repeat. All League members to council room.

BRUCE (connected): Ooh, there must be a mission!

PANEL 6
Medium shot from behind of Bruce and Dick walking through door into corridor. Bruce is swaggering exaggeratedly. Dick is rubbing his elbow and looking up at Bruce.

BRUCE: Of course they'll probably screw it up and I'll have to save them again.

DICK: You're so hardcore, Bruce!

BRUCE: I'm Batman.


PAGE 5
PANEL 1
Wide shot of Bruce and Dick walking down the corridor. It's very spacy, with Kirby-ish random panels and such set in arched steel walls.

DICK: How can you fight all those super-powered bad guys?

BRUCE: Dude, I know judo! Plus I have a plan for beating every super-chump on Earth, including all our team members.

DICK: Wow!

PANEL 2
Bruce and Dick are approaching a double door at the end of the corridor. A sign on the door says "COUNCIL ROOM".

BRUCE: You go in first. I wanna make an entrance!

DICK: Okay, Bruce.

BRUCE (connected): I told you, I'm Batman!

PANEL 3
Wide shot from far side of council room, looking towards door. This room is more futuristic than the others seen so far, with a hovering table with holo-projected data screens and curvilinear Kryptonian chairs dominating the center of the room. More Kryptonian robots stand against the walls. Clark, Diana, Arthur, and J'onn are in the room already, variously sitting or standing. They are all wearing space suits- relatively sleek (but not skin-tight), white Kryptonian-design battle suits with their respective emblems on the shoulder pads. Their helmets are off; we should see one or two of the helmets sitting on the table, held under arms, etc. Clark looks up as Dick enters the room. The others are looking at holo displays.

CLARK: Welcome, Dick! Do you know where Mr. Wayne is?

DICK: Yeah, he's--

PANEL 4
Closeup, viewpoint on floor looking past Dick's foot from behind. A small round object bounces past Dick's foot and on into the room.

SFX (small): clack clack

PANEL 5
Similar shot to Panel 3, but now there is a large cloud of smoke in the room, in front of the table. All are looking toward it, except Dick, who is enveloped in it. Bruce stands in the center of the cloud, largely obscured, holding his cape in front of his face in stereotypical Dracula fashion.

SFX (cloud of smoke): PAFF

BRUCE: What evildoers dare risk the wrath of the Batman?

CLARK: Cut it out, Bruce! You know that smoke leaves grease stains on everything!

PANEL 6
Medium shot of Bruce, who is now standing with hands on hips and head cocked back in an obnoxiously cocky pose. Two Kryptonian robots have rushed forward with vacuums to suck up the smoke.

BRUCE: Whatever. So, what's the mission?

SFX (robots): shhhhh

PANEL 7
Close up of Arthur.

ARTHUR: We've received a distress call from a stranded alien spacecraft. We need you two to stay here in case there are any other emergency calls.

PANEL 8
Medium shot of Dick and Bruce. Dick is standing at attention and saluting, trying to look very serious. Bruce looks very excited.

DICK: You can count on us!

BRUCE: You mean we have the whole place to ourselves?!

Newt
11-16-2013, 03:06 PM
Obviously this is not a complete story. I'm not good at compression. :(

JerryREX
11-16-2013, 05:00 PM
I am still stumped on what to write about :(

Typical writer problems. LOL.

AuthorOfAuthority
11-16-2013, 10:47 PM
The Wonderful Deadpool of Oz

Page 1
Panel 1: (Half page splash) A dimly lit room, in the foreground we see the back of Deadpool's head and shoulders taking up about half if not a little less of the panel, his katana's are still sheathed and we can see his gun just over his right shoulder aimed at a group of five little people gathered around a table. Fear is stricken across their faces and they are dressed whimsically with candy strewn about the table. It is the lollipop guild.

Little Person 1: We SWEAR, none of us knows NUTHIN! Things just HAPPEN in this place, how should we know how ya' got here? Isn't it possible you took a wrong turn somewhere?

Deadpool:I was in NEW YORK, how the #$%@ do you take a wrong turn and end up in IRELAND?

Little Person 2: Ireland? Forgive me sir, BUT you're in OZ.

Deadpool: Don't SCREW with me! I Know a LEPRECHAUN when I see one!!!

Panel 2: Deadpool is now leaned over Little Person 2 with his gun in his right hand and his katana in his left. The Little Person is laying on the ground with a bullet being fired through his right knee cap while the other 4 watch on in horror.

Little Person 2: LEPRECHAUNS?!?! We're NOT leprechauns, we're the lollipop gui--AHHHHGGGGGG.

SFX: BLAM!

Deadpool: LIES!!! It's NO use trying to hide it. You either GIVE me the gold, or I CHOP off your lucky charms.

Panel 3: Deadpool is still leaned over the injured Little Person, but is looking up at the third Little Person who has nervously injected himself between them. Deadpool is looking up at him with a look of discerning, as if he is willing to listen to what he has to say.

Little Person 3: PLEASE!! We tell NO LIES!!! We are the LOLLIPOP GUILD and we are a PEACEFUL people. you are in OZ as sure as monkeys fly.

Deadpool: HAHA! Flying Monkeys? Where do you think we ARE? Oz or somethi...

Panel 4: Deadpool is now staring out a window. We are outside the building he is in, looking in at him as he looks out. In the foreground we can see a wonderfully whimsical world complete with the famous yellow brick road and a few little people walking about the street.

Deadpool: You know what, that's MY bad. We totally are in OZ aren't we?

Deadpool: But I CAN'T be in OZ!! This is supposed to be a SLICE of LIFE story, there's nothing Slice of Life about OZ!!

Page 2
Panel 1:Deadpool is still looking out the window, but this time we have a close up on his face filling up the left third of the panel. On the right two thirds of the panel we can see the five members of the guild still around the table. Little Person 3 is helping little Person 2 into a chair while Little person 4 is gesturing with his hand over his mouth as if he is whispering to the other two. The look on the face of the two who are being whispered to is total befuddlement. Deadpool has an angry/annoyed look which can be seen through his mask as he overhears what is being said.

Little Person 4: What the HELL is a leprechaun anyway? Not only is this guy CRAZY, he smells like rotten eggs.

Panel 2 Wide angle outside view of the building which Deadpool is inside of with the guild. We are slightly elevated, about the height of the building. Citizens are scattered about the road, including possibly flower vendors or something of the sort. All of the citizens are turned toward the building with a look of horror and confusion on their faces. We cannot see anyone inside the building, only the SFX and Dialogue come through.

SFX:KRUNCH CRASH SWIFF

Little Person 4: OH GOD! I'M SORRY! OH THE HUMANITY!!

Panel 3: Deadpool is walking out of the house with a delighted look on his face. There is blood on his katana and he is wiping it off of his blade with a handkerchief.

Deadpool: THERE, He was ALIVE and I SLICED him. Slice of Life! Get it?

Panel 4:Deadpool spots an attractive, busty Little Person woman. She has a basket of flowers and is working at a cart across the road. She is in the foreground and he is in the background looking towards her. She is smiling but facing the reader and unaware of Deadpool's presence

Panel 5:Deadpool has approached the girl and is leaning in to talk to her. She has a look of confusion and disgust on her face. Deadpool has taken a flower out of her basket and is handing it to her.

Deadpool: Hey there beautiful. Would YOU be interested in dinner sometime? I've NEVER felt confident about my ENDOWMENTS in bed if ya' know what I mean, BUT something tells me you're JUST the kind of girl who could APPRECIATE a man of my...stature.

Little Woman: Ex...Excuse me?

Deadpool: BECAUSE you're small, ya' know, it's all just...PERSPECTIVE.

Little Woman: ...I don't follow

Panel 6 Deadpool is being given directions by the small woman. She is pointing into the distance as Deadpool's sight follows her finger in the indicated direction.

Deadpool: Ah forget it, can you tell me how to find the WIZARD?

Little Woman: Just FOLLOW the yellow brick road. He lives in the EMERALD city at the end.

Deadpool: Emerald city huh? I like his style.

Page 3
Panel 1: Establishing shot of dark woods with yellow brick road cutting through it. The trees are filled with apples and Deadpool is walking down the middle of the road.

Panel 2: Deadpool is facing the reader and is hit in the head with an apple. The apple comes from off panel to the right and Deadpool had not seen the apple coming.

SFX: Thunk!

Panel 3: Deadpool is now facing the woods on the side of the road. A tree with eyes, a mouth, and arms is shaking his fist angrily at him.

Tree: Get out of MY woods!

Deadpool: That's a talking tree! Did a talking tree just THROW an apple at me?

Tree: You're Darn TOOTIN' I threw an apple at you, now what are YOU gonna do about it?

Panel 4: Deadpool is now standing next to the tree and has an expression as though he is posing a question. The tree has a look on his face as though he is pondering the question.

Deadpool: Well that ALL depends. Does Oz have talking bears?

Tree: Talking bears? I don't BELIEVE so, but what do talking BEARS have to do with anything?

Panel 5: Deadpool is once again skipping down the yellow brick road but looking back towards the forest. In the background we see the forest Deadpool has just exited is now on fire with smoke billowing toward the sky.

Tree: OH SWEET GLENDA!!! I'M ON FIRE!! SOMEONE SAVE ME!!

Deadpool: SUCK IT TREE! Too bad there aren't any talking bears to stomp that fire out for ya' huh?

Panel 6: Close up on Deadpool who is looking directly at the reader.

Deadpool: Remember kids, only YOU can prevent forest fires. TECHNICALLY, that makes his slow horrendous death your fault. Think about THAT next time you feel all judgey of me.

Page 4
Panel 1: (Half page splash)Inside the emerald city we see Dorothy, todo, the scarecrow, the tin man, the lion, and the wizard. Deadpool enters through the door, physically kicking it open just in time to catch their conversation about their wishes.

The Tin Man: I wish I had a heart

The Scarecrow: I wish I had a brain

The Lion: I wish I had courage

SFX: CRASH as the door swings open

Deadpool: Wait! I'm here! Did I make it in time to get my wish?

Panel 2: Deadpool is now up close to the four travelers who came in before him. The Wizard is facing the five of them as they are lined up as they were in the previous panel.

Wizard: Good traveler, I will be with you in moments. First allow me to help those who came before you.

Panel 3: Deadpool is walking aways from the group now, towards the reader. He is waving his hand over his shoulder nonchalantly.

Deadpool: Works for me, I've been holding in a MONSTER deuce since the poppy fields anyway. Which way is it to the toilet? Ah screw it, I'll find it myself.

Panel 4: The wizard has resumed his conversation with the four original members of the wizard of oz. However during the Wizard's speech he is interrupted by a sickening sound and Deadpool's screams coming from off panel.

Wizard: And for you Scarecrow, you have ha--

Deadpool: AGHHHERKKK

SFX: PLOP!

Page 5
Panel 1: Deadpool is now being projected with his pants down using the toilet where the Wizard's head usually is when he is talking via the booth in the back. The five characters from the wizard of oz movie are looking up at the projection in disgust as Deadpool realizes they can all see him.

Deadpool: This isn't the bathroom IS it? You know, I SHOULD have guessed because there were ALOT of cameras in here. I just figured he was a pervy old wizard.

Deadpool: Well, now that the cat's out of the bag, does ANYONE have any toilet tissue?

Panel 2: This is the same exact shot as the panel before, except now the flames on either side of the projection are erupting with Deadpool still on the toilet.

SFX: FWOAR!

Panel 3: Deadpool is now walking toward the group of Oz characters with a piece of toilet paper trailing from his shoe. The five of them have a look of annoyance on their faces.

Deadpool: Alright, now that THAT'S taken care of. How are you getting me home?

Wizard: I'm afraid I have NO way to help you. You see, Dorothy's shoes are the ONLY way out of Oz, so I'm just gonna have to ask you to leave.

Panel 4: Close up on Deadpools face with a grimacing and sinister look.

Deadpool: Is that SO?

Panel 5: Deadpool is now standing in Wolverine's room. It is obviously late at night and Wolverine is awaken by Deadpool's sudden appearance. Deadpool is at the base of Wolverine's bed with two ruby red slippers in his hands. In the ruby red slippers are two feet which are cut-off halfway up the leg. Deadpool has an ecstatic look on his face.

Wolverine: Wade!! What the HELL do you think you're doing in MY room!?!?

Deadpool: Wow, these shoes really DO take you where you feel MOST at home!!

Caption: THE END

AuthorOfAuthority
11-16-2013, 10:57 PM
I know mine technically isn't "Slice of Life", but I had already written most of it when I realized it had to be Slice of Life, so I just fixed it the way I figured Deadpool most likely would.

JerryREX
11-17-2013, 01:00 AM
“Robin's first shave” By Jerry Rex

Page 1 (5 Panels)


Panel 1: Vertical panel, downshot. Batman is asleep, you can see that he has been beaten up pretty bad from the night's crime-fighting events.

Sfx (Bruce Wayne. Very loud):
Zzzzz

Panel 2: Same. The bedroom door slightly opens ajar to light up a fraction of the room.

Sfx (Bruce Wayne. Very loud):
Zzzzz

Panel 3: Same. Now the door is fully open, the room is now lit from the hallway's light. A shadow of a man's head blocks a portion of the light, taking a peak inside the room.

Sfx (Bruce Wayne):
Zzzzz

Panel 4: Same. The shadow is now sneaking its way inside the bedroom.

Shadow (Under his breath in really small text):

Can he snore any louder?

Could barely hear myself think.

Panel 5: Tight Wideshot of Bruce's face. He opens one eye looking deadly suspicious.


Page 2 (5 panels)

Panel 1: Tight Wideshot of Bruce's face. Now, he is acting as if he went back to sleep.

Panel 2: Wide shot of the bedroom, with the bed to the right and the shadowy figure to the left ready to leave the room.

Bruce:
What are you doing, Damian?

Damian (under his breathe):
Ughhh, the bat has awaken.

Damian:
Nothing!

Panel 3: Same. Damian will be a little closer to the hallway's light, making his face a little more visible, his face is annoyed and angry.

Batman:
Today, we're going to work on your stealth skills.

I heard you the second you laid a finger on that door knob--

Panel 4: Same. Damian looks up in frustration.
Damian:
Sigh.

Bruce:
--Don't know what your grandfather has been teaching you, but your skills needs some polishing and we won't leave until you can stealth your way out-

Panel 5: Same. Damian is gone. Batman sits up in his bed.

Bruce (smaller text):

of any...

situation.


Page 3 (5 panels)

Panel 1: Medium shot of Bruce sitting on the side of the bed.

Bruce:
Hmmph

What did he take?

Panel 3: Close up shot of Bruce in the bathroom looking through his medicine cabinet finding his shaving razor.

Cap (Bruce Wayne):
I'll deal with Damian later... Now to shave this gruff off and actually look like Bruce Wayne.

Panel 4: Same. Batman is still looking through his medicine cabinet, not finding what he is looking for.

Cap (Bruce):
Where is it?

Panel 5: Close up of Batman with a sudden realization on his face.

Bruce (Yelling):
Damian!

Where's my shaving cream?!


Page 4 (5 panels)

Panel 1: Medium shot of Damian with the shaving cream all over his face and other areas that are not supposed to be smothered in cream, and he has a devious smile on

Bruce (From outside the panel, Yelling):
My shaving cream, where is it?!

Panel 3: Same. Damian is now shaving with one of his swords.

Damian:
I'll live by the sword, die by the sword, and now shave by the sword.

I am a true swordsma-

Panel 4: Medium shot. You can see Bruce is in the Background, while Damian is shaving his face with his sword.

Bruce:
Easy there cowboy! There's a reason why Gilette makes the world's best razors, you know.

Damian:
Don't care about your dumb razors. Nothing will be as sharp as my sword. My sword is my- ow!

Panel 5: Close up of Bruce's askewed face.

Cap (Bruce):
This is almost too hard to watch.

Bruce:
I think today's lesson should be switched to Shaving 101.

Page 5 ( 4 panels)

Panel 1: Tight Medium of Bruce Pointing. In the foreground you can see Damian's top of the head, revealing only his hair. There are droplets of bloods flying everywhere from Damian.

Damian (under his breath):
Ow... Ow... Ow... Ow... Owwwww.

Panel 2: Close up of Bruce handing over a tissue paper.

Bruce:
Well done. Now, all you need is a toilet tissue paper to stop all the bleeding...

Panel 3: Medium shot of Damian's sword cutting up the single tissue paper into atleast 20 smaller pieces.

Panel 4: Wide shot of Damian's face, he is smiling with the small pieces of that one tissue paper all over his shaven face, barely covering all the cuts and slices. You can see Batman's grin of approval through the mirror behind Damian.

Damian:
I'm a man now. Men shave with real blades and don't cry about it.

Go fetch a gillete, ya' old bat!

Steven Forbes
11-17-2013, 09:02 AM
Lots of fun, folks! I enjoyed them!

Let's discuss them!

Don't forget to vote!

AuthorOfAuthority
11-17-2013, 04:18 PM
I enjoyed most all of the scripts. I'm going to hold back any critiques because I just got into writing comics recently. I've got a full length book and a few short stories I've written, but this is a fairly new genre to me, so any help is appreciated.

ColbyAddison
11-17-2013, 06:59 PM
Scribbly, toilet tissue is just a fancy way of saying toilet paper.

Scribbly
11-17-2013, 07:21 PM
Scribbly, toilet tissue is just a fancy way of saying toilet paper.

I know, but the requested keyword was "toilet tissue", not toilet paper.
As in a former contest, the keyword was "cream corn" not creamy corn.
Just saying.

Paul LaPorte
11-17-2013, 09:42 PM
Hey Paul, watch this out pal.

Toilet tissue, not toilet paper.(Maybe you can adjust it on time.)
Cheerios.

I considered that, but there's no one would would ever realistically say in a line of dialogue "We're out of toilet tissue", etc. At least not in the United States. It was a judgement call on my part. It appears I'm not being punished for it.

Steven Forbes
11-17-2013, 10:00 PM
Nah, no punishments.

Author, go for it. Critiquing others is a key to learning. Let 'er rip!

Scribbly
11-17-2013, 11:16 PM
I considered that, but there's no one would would ever realistically say in a line of dialogue "We're out of toilet tissue", etc. At least not in the United States. It was a judgement call on my part. It appears I'm not being punished for it.

I told you about it in case your script would get disqualified by a silly word.
It wouldn't happen here, so is all OK.

As if the keyword were Autumn and you wrote Fall because that is the use in USA.

Tissue is a class of paper. Paper is a generic.
I like your script very much.

I just don't get why Steven came up with such odd denomination as keyword.

Paul LaPorte
11-17-2013, 11:44 PM
I told you about it in case your script would get disqualified by a silly word.
It wouldn't happen here, so is all OK.

As if the keyword were Autumn and you wrote Fall because that is the use in USA.

Tissue is a class of paper. Paper is a generic.
I like your script very much.

I just don't get why Steven came up with such odd denomination as keyword.


I appreciate the heads up, and I'm glad you liked the script.

Steven Forbes
11-18-2013, 12:39 AM
I told you about it in case your script would get disqualified by a silly word.
It wouldn't happen here, so is all OK.

As if the keyword were Autumn and you wrote Fall because that is the use in USA.

Tissue is a class of paper. Paper is a generic.
I like your script very much.

I just don't get why Steven came up with such odd denomination as keyword.

I use toilet tissue/toilet paper almost interchangeably.

It's no big thing.

JerryREX
11-18-2013, 01:17 AM
If you only used one toilet tissue, then the challenge was in hard mode. God, I miss World of Warcraft.

Scribbly
11-18-2013, 01:29 AM
I use toilet tissue/toilet paper almost interchangeably.

It's no big thing.
Only the arse knows better about the difference between
using toilet tissue and toilet paper. A very hard difference.

AuthorOfAuthority
11-19-2013, 02:05 PM
I had written a very long critique of all 4 other stories, but I got logged out of my account and lost all of the post, so I am just going to cliff notes it now.

Scribbly: This story was very well written. I only had two problems with it. First, this was supposed to be a comedic challenge and this story was very depressing. Second, the way Batman goes down to Harley so easily sort of feels like a cop-out. Keeping in line with the long history of Batman, someone would have to be more clever than hiding a needle behind their back. On the positive I think you did a very good job of capturing the essence of Harley and the Joker from the comics.

Paul Laporte: This was a great example of what Slice of Life comedic should be (which mine was not). I think my only critique is the way you delivered dialogue. It was very simplistic and directly derivative of the character's actions. It sort of felt like I was reading a Stan Lee comic from the 60's, and don't get me wrong I respect Stan the Man, but anyone who has read his comics from the 60's and 70's will tell you the dialogue can be mind numbingly simple.

Newt: You did a wonderful job setting scenes and developing a story. The main thing I would focus on is keeping in line with who the characters really are. I think the reason he wanted us to infringe on the work of someone else is because it can be difficult to write a character you did not create, but writers have to do it all the time. It's humorous in itself to make Bruce act the opposite of how we all know Bruce actually acts, but that is an easy approach. I think the most difficult way to do it, and the way great writers do, is to write the story true to the character and find a situation that would be comedic for him specifically.

JerryRex: I like the story and idea, a perfect example of Slice of Life once again. My only critique is that the scene setting is a little lacking. You leave a lot of guess work for the penciler and readers. Think of how an author writes a novel, how they describe everything in detail. Now it doesn't have to be that descriptive, but part of being a great writer is making sure the reader can visualize the scene well.

Also I did not vote. I find it too difficult not to vote for myself because of my inflated ego and have a hard time being partial lol.

Newt
11-19-2013, 02:38 PM
Thanks for the critique, Author!

My target here was a very specific version of Batman, one beloved of fanboys (I haven't read an actual Batman comic that is quite so stupid): the Batman that is so paranoid he is invincible. The Batman who has a flawless plan to defeat every superbeing in the DC Universe. You know the one. Wherever nerds gather you will hear him promoted. In my opinion, that Batman is the one who isn't true to character.

This exaggerated Mad Thinker-style Bats seems like the product of adolescent justification: "My favorite character is super-cool, so he must be able to beat up all the other characters, even though they have godlike powers and he's just some dude who's pretty good at martial arts". So, I decided that that's exactly what it was: Batman's reputation, as relayed by fanboys, is in fact Batman's invention. He's sort of a thirteen-year-old dumbass braggart with a nasty case of the Dunning-Kruger effect in a grown vigilante's body.

Unfortunately I didn't get to the part of the story where that becomes clear in the first five pages.

JerryREX
11-19-2013, 06:53 PM
Thanks Author! The script was fun once I finally thought of something to write about.

Kudos to all of the writers that participated. I know the dreaded feeling when showing your scripts to the public. It's not easy.

Scribbly
11-19-2013, 09:47 PM
Thanks, Author. Glad that you liked it.

About slice of life...I thought it could work as slice of life in the life of
a superhero, the arch villain and the girl.
According to what their well known personalities would dictate.
The theme: the things that a girl can do for get some love.

Yes, It went dark at the end. The original version had some gags that I did erase
by restrictions of space. Initially the bomb planted by Joker was a fake bomb.
And in the last panel Harley was leaving the scene walking close to Batrman,
asking him "Batsy, are you married?
I erased all of that because that was sounding in my ears as the animated version.
Or some sort of parody coming from MAD magazine.

And I had visualized as style for this script the dark and gritty version of Arkham City, the video game..
Gritty and comedy didn't match well, so I went for dark humor in a gritty tragicomedy. IMHO.

Congratulations to everyone who made it.

I am really mesmerized by the variety that came out from the original guideline.


Author, your story was very cool too. Deadpool in the land of Oz? Great!



.

AuthorOfAuthority
11-21-2013, 06:29 PM
Yea, I thought putting Deadpool in Oz would be a great idea, but it's pretty hard to condense a story that should probably be written as a 3 part series into 5 pages.