View Full Version : Writing Challenge: ENDS on 11/2/13

Steven Forbes
10-26-2013, 11:57 AM
Okay, folks!

Like I said before, this week's writing challenge has to involve a space cop, and cannot take place on earth. It can be part of a larger story, but self-contained shorts are obviously better. The character cannot be of your own creation, and yes, I'm encouraging willful copyright infringement here. I want to be able to research the character if necessary.

No profanity, no erotica. Five pages.

Let's have some fun!

10-26-2013, 10:28 PM
I just finished this before my Halloween party, and just in time for the contest, phew! Thanks for checking it out. It was fun!

Synopsis: This story is set in 2999 A.D., on new year's eve. Earth's new population now resides in a space station, close to the planet Saturn, named Delta. The mega-corporation Omni Consumer Products (OCP) runs the police force with their own plans to rebuild Delta by the new millenia. Their new exterminating weapon: A diamond plated ED-409 is an impenetrable force that could only be a task for Robocop.

“Diamonds are Forever”

Page 1 (3 Panels)

Panel 1- 2/3rds of a splash page. Show an establishing shot of a huge futuristic-like space station. It's called Delta, it will also say built by OCP. The ship is a host to what looks like a huge futuristic New York city. The upper half of the ship is transparent, so the skyscrapers and apartment buildings can be seen in this shot. I want there to be fireworks going off inside of Delta, make it look like a new year's eve in Timesquare but without the snow. OCP's logo needs to be everywhere as well.

December 31, 2999


Population 7,000,000

Homo Sapien's second chance in surviving is Delta, built to escape the toxic infested planet Earth that was bound to implode and obliterate man kind.

The mega-corporation Omni Consumer Products (OCP) made the space station to create an Utopia for people to live in, and the president of OCP promised a Crime-free environment by the new millenia.

Panel 2- Close up shot of Marie's hand inserting a modified tip bullet in a gun clip.


Panel 3- Same as 2. Shot of RoboCop's foot right before he hides into the shadows.

Panel 4- Medium up shot of Marie in the foreground, she is wearing a full skin tight suit (like the police outfit from the TV series Continuum.) Give her knee high combat boots, shades like Jubilee's from X-men, and a funky hair do like Cloud from Final Fantasy. She is slapping the clip into a gun that is exactly like RoboCop's signature gun. She also has a Katana on her back. In the background of the panel, There's a silhouette of what looks like RoboCop behind Marie.


Page 2 (3 Panels)

Panel 1- Medium Shot. Marie swings her arms in a 180 degree motion with her Gun in hand, ready to pull the trigger, her face snarling at the silhouette figure.


Panel 2- Close up of Marie's face, she tilts up her glasses- staring in disbelief and shock.

Panel 3- 2/3rd Splash of RoboCop with the same battle scars from the RoboCop Last Stand issue by Frank Miller, make RoboCop look rough, but he still looks like not much changed since 2013.

I believe you are wielding a weapon of mine.

Page 3 (5 Panels)

Panel 1- Medium shot. Marie is handing over the gun to RoboCop, her glasses are tilted back down to cover her eyes. Robocop is grimacing down at Marie.

Is... It... Really you? It's been centuries... Where ya' been hidin' this wh-

Ma'am, there's no time to waste. Word through the grapevine, OCP is planning to destroy and rebuild at midnight. Hand OVER my weapon now!

Panel 2- Medium shot of that New Years Disco Ball at the 8-10 second mark, People are shouting out the countdown.




Panel 3- Same as 1.

Careful now, this ain't the same pea shooter from back in the days. This baby packs enough power to knock down the economy if it had to. Plus, it holds a clip of my new invention: Graphene tipped bullets- penetrate any surface at will.

So, where is it that you get your info from huh, RoboCop?


Panel 4- Same as 2. The Disco Ball is now at the bottom




Panel 5 Wide shot of the New year's Ball being crushed by the landing of an ED-299 (dwarfing the ED-409), it's armour is diamond encrusted, giving the killing machine a “bling bling” look. Two regular ED-409's accompany the Ed-409, immidiatley people in the crowd start gasping in recognition of the death machines.


Page 4 ( Splash page)

Worm view up shot from behind RoboCop and Marie, Marie has her hand on her Katana, ready for whatever action lays ahead. On the ceiling of the space station appears the President of OCP being broadcasted live to update the people of Delta of what's going on. We can see the three ED death machines awaiting their orders while they're still on the crushed New year's Ball. People will be freaking out, running amok with their loved ones clutched tight.

OCP President:
Don't panic anyone, well... not just yet. See, The purpose of this ceremony was to group up all of the taints and incompetent kind of our city. It's our chance to do this right once and for all. To destroy and rebuild I say, and... we shall.

Behold! My new invention- the ED-409, plated with the diamonds from our neighbor planet, Saturn. It's virtually impenetrable, and finally Delta City will be born- May the new Millenia bring happiness and perseverance to us all.

Now, my precious ED-409 and company--

--begin the EXTERMINATION!

PAGE 5 (3 Panels)

Panel 1 Close up shot, half of Marie's face grimacing.

I guess since we aren't on Earth, your earthen laws seem to be obsolete... So, Fire at will?

Panel 2 Close up shot, half of RoboCop's face with his signature evil grimace.

Fire at will!

Panel 3 (2/3rd of a splash)

RoboCop and Marie are running with their war faces on, RoboCop is on the right with his Gun out shooting and Marie is to the left with her Katana out Deflecting bullets, you can see the bullets ricocheting off of Maries Katana and off of Robocop's armor.


SFX (From RoboCop's gun):

SFX (From Marie's Katana):

Cap (On bottom right):
To be Continued...

10-27-2013, 02:17 AM
Here is my script involving the Guardians Of The Galaxy. For those interested, this is taking place after the Thanos Imperative, but before this modern era of Bendis Guardians. It is tied to modern continuity, but at it's heart this is a tale of a raccoon suffering from some hardcore ptsd.




Rocket Raccoon is sleeping alone in his bedroom. The room is a dark space with a slight amount of light towards the side of the building. A cloaked figure is staring at the sleeping raccoon to the side of the room. The only furniture in the location consists of a bed, chair, and window.

1. Rocket in his sleep - Dead, doesn’t matter.

2. Rocket same as previous - Quill, Peter Quill.

3. Rocket same as one - The Guardians dead.


The cloaked person goes towards the window. He utters something quietly panel.

1. Cloaked Person - Not dead yet, Rocket. Not dead yet.


A close up of Rocket’s face. He goes back to sleeping peacefully.



Rocket Raccoon is dressed in bright pink. The raccoon is in catacombs of the same color. He stares at the ceiling and see’s a giant worm coming down, the worm is black and is descending from the ceiling to the ground in mid-air.

1. Rocket Raccoon - What am I wearing?

2. Rocket Raccoon - Where are my guns?


Gamora and Drax are wearing white dresses fighting off miniature versions of the worm. For photo reference make a quick google search to the characters. Rocket is in the background screaming at the two heroes.

1. Rocket Raccoon - NO! Don’t fight the worm without your weapons.

2. Rocket Raccoon - DRAX, GAMORA, STOP!


The worms burst out of the inner catacombs from the wall. One bursts out towards Gamora and one bursts towards Drax.

1. Rocket Raccoon - BOTH OF YOU, RUN!


The worms bite the heads off of Drax and Gamora. The blodd from their heads are spattered everywhere.


Rocket screams out in agony. The worm comes behind him, and tries to eat him.

1. Rocket - WHY!


He pulls out a pistol strapped to his leg. Rocket shoots the worm.

1. SFX - BOOM!

2. Rocket Raccoon - Blam, now give me my friends back!



Thanos appears. He is in the costume featured in Infinity to keep continuity with the modern team. The character is towering above Rocket, who looks oh so very small compared to him.

1. Thanos - Your friends are dead fox.


Rocket Raccoon begins to run further towards the light of the pink space that he is contained in. The camera is focusing on the front of the character, Thanos is clearly chasing after him on his moving chair.

1. Rocket Raccoon - Quill, give Quill back!

2. Thanos - Even I cannot rescue someone from the Cancerverse, they are


Rocket stops running and jumps high in the air. His guns are pointed at Thanos, who is staring at Rocket very amused.

1. Rocket - How did you come back?


Thanos disappears and Rocket is mad. In the distance behind the character a spout of water shoots off in the distance.

1. Rocket - HOW! WHY?


The spout engulfs Rocket Raccoon. The character is headed towards the light down the hallway.


Rocket is shot out of the pink space to the light.



Rocket ends up in a sanctuary full of bright light. Peter Quill is sitting in the middle of a garden smiling. There is a fountain with all of the Guardians including Drax, Gamora, Groot, and Nova arebehind the character, and butterflies surrounding him.

1. Peter Quill - How are you Rocket.

2. Rocket Raccoon - Bloody miserable.

3. Peter Quill - I am here now.

4. Rocket Raccoon - No, no your not.


Thanos appears again holding the head of Quill in his hands. The other Guardians come to life from the statues including Drax, Gamora, Groot, and Nova (Richard Rider) is also among them. The characters in the background coming out of the statues are all standing up straight with their hands behind them. Thanos and Quill are smiling. Rocket Raccoon is staring at them in the foreground.

1. Thanos - Your friends are all dead. You cannot save them.

2. Quill - Not dead yet. Not dead yet. Not dead yet.

2. Rocket - STOP!!!!!



Rocket wakes up in bed, tired and weary. It is still dark in his apartment. With a minimal source of light coming from the window.

1. Rocket - Not dead yet, eh Quill?


The character looks towards his chair and see’s a blue orb sitting there. Rocket


Peter Quill’s body projects from the orb. Rocket is trying to hold back tears.

1. Quill - Long time no see, ready to get the band back together?


Rocket looks at him and laughs slightly.

1. Rocket - We’ll see.


10-27-2013, 04:26 AM
I'm open to any criticism. Any feedback would make me happy! You can PM me or email me at jerryrexwriting@gmail.com.

10-27-2013, 03:12 PM
Hope you'll like this. Enjoy.

SPACE GHOST in: Back to the Fight.

Panel 1
Space Ghost is hosting his TV show "Coast to coast"
We see Space Ghost sitting in his desk next to a big TV screen. Bruno Tonioli is in the screen.
The typical background for the show.

SPACE GHOST: Good evening everyone! Please welcome our guest from
Dancing with the Stars, Bruno Tonioli. Hi Bruno!

Panel 2
The Phantom Cruiser patrolling. Voices are coming from the ship.

CAPTION: Meanwhile, Jace and Jan are steadily patrolling the space, fighting against the crime in the galaxy.
JAN: Jace, do you think he ever remember us?
JACE: Of course he does sister! He's been just busy lately.

Panel 3
Jace is driving the spaceship. Jan and Blip are seated next to him. They are talking

JAN: Lately? In the last ten years I sent hundred of messages to Space Ghost, we never had one call back from him.
Even his communicator went disconnected!
JACE: Oh Jan, you may not know, But the show business is very demanding.
And Space Ghost is a full time TV star now.

Panel 4
Close up to Blip crossing his arms and frowning in disapproval.

JACE: Once, he invited Blip to work in the show, do you remember it Blip?
BLIP: Yuck!

Panel 5
Jace is looking at the screen in the control panel.
Jan looks upset.

JAN: What I do remember is that Blip told me that...
JACE: Jan, look out! A distress signal is coming from that asteroid. Let's go investigate!

Panel 1
Jane and Jace had the Phantom Cruiser landed in the desert asteroid.
They are going stairs down in a big mechanic staircase open in the ground.

JAN: This is very strange Jace. I don't recall to see this asteroid before.
And to where this stairs are taken us?
JACE: Maybe...

Panel 2
Suddenly, the staircase becomes a slippery slider. They are falling down.


Panel 3
Both hitting the ground.

JACE: Maybe this is a trap Jan!
SFX: Boink!

Panel 4
Wide panel. A big cave with a big TV screen on it. In the screen Zorak is laughing at them.
Jace and Jan are inside a big dome made of unbreakable glass.
We see that Blip got outside the dome and is looking surprised at them.
Blip is switched to invisible.

ZORAK: JA JA JA! Finally! I got you both in my trap! Space Ghost is nowhere for helping you!
JAN: Zorak?
BLIP: Yik.

Panel 5
Close up of Zorak in the TV screen.

ZORAK: Yes! It's me, The great Zorak. And with you two off business, nothing can stop the Council of Doom, from spreading the crime in the Galaxy.

Panel 6
JAN: But Zorak, you and the Council of Doom are reformed guys now.
Working for the sake of Space Ghost's show!

Panel 1
ZORAK: Reformed, us ? You are very naive child.
In all this time we had Space Ghost brainwashed and hypnotized
believing he was a hosting a TV show.

Panel 2
ZORAK: Don't you see? The talk show is a big farce. The interviews are montages.
The whole TV Studio is an illusion. We laugh at Space Ghost's foolishness every night.

Panel 3
In the TV screen Zorak is laughing loud.
Jan talks secretly to Blip who is standing outside the glass dome.

JAN: Blip, quick! Please, you got to find Space Ghost. He's the only who can save us !
ZORAK: Ja ja ja!

Panel 4
INTERIOR- Space Ghost's "Coast to coast" TV set.
In the foreground, Space Ghost is doing the final steps of dancing the Rumba.
In the TV screen, Bruno Tonioli from Dance with the stars is praising Space Ghost's performance.

CAPTION: Later...
BRUNO: Brilliant Space Ghost! You will be absolutely terrific dancing in our show!
SPACE GHOST: Really? Thank you Bruno, and now...what is that?

Panel 5
Blip is jumping over the security guards heads. Weaving a big wrench.Knocking them down.
The guards are all henchmen of Brak.

VOICE OFF: Hey! Somebody stop that monkey!
BLIP: Yikes!

Panel 6
Blip is jumping towards Space Ghost. Hitting Space Ghost in the head with the wrench.


Panel 1
Wide panel.
We can see only Space Ghost's desk and TV screen. The rest of the TV set is gone.
They are in a desert asteroid. Space Ghost in the ground, Blip is helping him to get up.
Space Ghost is rubbing his head.

SPACE GHOST: Ouch! That was hard to get, old chap. But Thanks.
BLIP: Yip, kick, hik, hik.
SPACE GHOST: My TV studio is gone. What? Do you mean I was hypnotized?
My show was a farce? They got me alienated in a mental day trip by all these years?

Panel 2
Space Ghost flying up in the space. Blip is hanging in Space Ghost's shoulder.

SPACE GHOST: Well Blip, we got a job to do.

Panel 3
Jan and Jace are inside the big glass dome. A disintegration ray machine is pointing at them.
To the right, the top members of The Council of Doom are playing big jury.
Brak, Metallus, Black widow, Creature King and Moltar.
Zorak in the middle is the judge. He is wearing a long judge's wig.

ZORAK: The final verdict is guilty. You two are going to be melted into pudding by the antimatter ray.
SPACE GHOST ( In off): Not so fast Zorak!

Panel 4
Close up to Zorak.

ZORAK: Space Ghost! Destroy him!

Panel 5
Big battle. Space Ghost is punching all the hit-men that work for the Council of Doom.
Blip is knocking them down with the wrench as well.


Panel 1
The members of Doom Counsel are walking on chains into the Galactic patrol spaceship.
In the foreground Space Ghost, Jane and Jen.

SPACE GHOST: These criminals are going to the Galactic prison where
they belong. They may have many years ahead for making a TV show in prison.

Panel 2
SPACE- EXTERIOR. Phantom Cruiser traveling across the space.
Voices are coming from inside the spaceship.

JAN: Thank you for saving us Space Ghost!
SPACE GHOST: No need of thank me Jan. It was Blip who took me out of my hypnotic spell.

Panel 3
INTERIOR -Phantom Cruiser.
Space, Jan, Jace and Blip in the control cabin.

SPACE GHOST: I'm very sorry guys. I let you down and made a fool of myself
abandoning my fight against crime all these years.

JACE: Don't be worry about it Space Ghost. You are back now. You are always the best.
JAN: Besides, you may look very cute in TV.

Panel 4
Space Ghost looking at Blip.
SPACE GHOST: What about this Blip? Would you like to host a talk show?

Panel 5
Blip is jumping to get protected in Jan shoulders. Blip is covering his ears with his hands.
Everybody but Blip is laughing.

BLIP: Yuck.
SFX: Jajaja!



Paul LaPorte
11-01-2013, 11:58 AM
Here goes...

Space Quest VII: Roger Wilco Versus The Gritty Reboot

Page One

Panel One: Wide, establishing shot of a man in a blue futuristic-looking jumpsuit buried head-first in what looks to be a dumpster in the cargo bay of a large space ship. The dumpster is about 4 feet tall by ten feet wide and has a control panel on the side.

1. NARRATION: After completing his assignment on the DeepShip 86, Roger Wilco was assigned to sanitation duties on the SCS Poindexter: A science vessel dedicated to researching new technology that absolutely no one needs.

2. NARRATION: We join our hero in the midst of his heroic quest to find out what is jamming the antimatter compactor.

3. ROGER WILCO: How many times do I have to tell these people...

4. ROGER WILCO: No bilithium shards inside the antimatter compactor!

Panel Two: Roger, sitting inside the dumpster with a confused look on his face, holding a sleek, metallic blue cube with a red button sticking out of it.

5. ROGER WILCO: Well what do we have here?

Panel Three: Close up of Roger, a contemplative look on his face.

6. ROGER WILCO: Must be some sort of prototype...
7. ROGER WILCO: I wonder if it still works.

Panel Four: Tight shot of Roger's finger, pressing a large red button with "NO" written underneath it in bold black letters

8. SFX: click

Panel Five: The after effects of Roger pressing the button. Wide shot of the room as it's filled with a swirling gust of wind. Paper and debris flying everywhere, Roger flung backward inside the dumpster, his arms over his head and a look of surprise on his face.


Panel Six: Close up of Roger's face as he looks at something off panel, shocked.

10. ROGER WILCO: What in the world...

Page Two:

Panel One: Full body shot of a man who looks just like Roger Wilco, except his face is scarred and scowling. He's wearing dark sunglasses, his blue jumpsuit has been replaced with a black leather one, and he has a laser rifle slung behind him. Electricity crackles around him, a by-product of the device that brought him here.

Panel Two: Front shot of “real” Roger climbing out of the dumpster, eyes still fixated on the man, a look of awe on his face.

11. ROGER WILCO: Woooow.
12. ROGER WILCO: Who are you?

Panel Three: Close up of “new” Roger Wilco, a scowl on his face.

13. REBOOT ROGER: I’m Roger Wilco…
14. REBOOT ROGER: bounty hunter.

Panel Four: Wide overhead angle shot of the room as Roger approaches Reboot Roger.

15. ROGER WILCO: But… I’m Roger Wilco.
16. ROGER WILCO: And I’m a sanitation engineer.

Panel Five: Reboot Roger walking around the cargo bay, looking about with a look of annoyance on his face. Like this whole world is below him.

17. REBOOT ROGER: Yeah, well, the publisher wanted to make some money off the Space Quest name, hoping they could bring in die hard adventure game fans with it.
18. REBOOT ROGER: But they felt that humor and creativity don’t sell any more.
19. REBOOT ROGER: So now I’m a bounty hunter in a first person shooter.

Panel Six: Reboot Roger pointing his laser rifle menacingly off panel.

20. REBOOT ROGER: And since there can by only one of us…
21. REBOOT ROGER: I’m gonna have to kill you.

Page Three:

Panel One: “Real” Roger, backing away, his hands up in front of him, looking nervous.

22. ROGER WILCO: Whoa, hang on a second.
23. ROGER WILCO: We can figure this out.
24. ROGER WILCO: Let’s figure out what happened, and how we can get you back to your universe.

Panel Two: Wide shot as Reboot Roger continues to hold his rifle on “real” Roger.

25. REBOOT ROGER: The only thing I’m going to “figure” out…
26. REBOOT ROGER: Is where I need to shoot you to get the most points!

Panel Three: First person view from Reboot Roger, showing an FPS style “HUD” displaying his health and ammo, firing his rifle towards “real” Roger. “Real” Roger dives out of the way, narrowly avoiding the shot.


Page Four:

Panel One: “Real” Roger ducking behind a junk pile for cover as laser blasts land all around him. Looking panicked.

28. NARRATION: It looks like our intrepid hero is pinned down by his bloodthirsty doppelganger! How will he escape this harrowing situation!?

Panel Two: “Real” Roger looking through his side of the junk pile as it continues to get blasted.

29. ROGER WILCO: There’s got to be something in here I can use!

Panel Three: Wide shot of the junk pile. Assorted technological crap mixed with garbage. In the pile laying on its side is a futuristic looking paint gun.

Panel Four: Close up shot of the paint gun. The label on the side reads “Bright-o super painter 4000”


Panel Five: “Real” Roger holding up the paint gun, a resigned look on his face.

30. ROGER WILCO: Well, it’s better than nothing…

Panel Six: Roger standing up from behind the pile, pointing the paint gun at Reboot Roger.


Page Five

Panel One: Close up of Reboot Roger, a terrified look on his face.

33. REBOOT ROGER (BURST): It can’t be!!!

Panel Two: Full body of Reboot Roger, gun lowered, backing away, still with a look of fear on his face.

34. REBOOT ROGER: How could you have known that bright colors are my only weakness!?

Panel Three: Upper body shot of “real” Roger, looking confused.


Panel Four: “Real” Roger shaking off the confusion.

Panel Five: “Real” Roger letting loose with the paint gun


Panel Six: Reboot Roger, recoiling in terror as the paint hits him.

37. REBOOT ROGER (BURST): Nooooooooooooo!!!

Panel Seven: Reboot Roger explodes in a giant burst of current day United States money.


Panel Eight: Roger looking around the wrecked cargo bay, covered in paint, money, and laser burns.

39. ROGER WILCO: *sigh*
40. ROGER WILCO: Great…
41. ROGER WILCO: Now I have to clean this up, too!


Steven Forbes
11-03-2013, 09:27 PM
Okay, folks!

I'm late, sure, but this one is closed. Nothing but comments on the scripts from here. It looks like more fun was had!

Time to set up the poll and see what people thought!

11-04-2013, 04:56 PM
I liked most of these, but my vote went to Paul LaPorte. Any script that invokes Space Quest, Roger Wilco, or Sierra Games successfully will always win me over.

Steven Forbes
11-12-2013, 07:55 PM
And yes, even here!

Hey, writers!

Would any of you be interested in submitting these scripts to The Proving Grounds for editing?

I suggest looking it over first (http://www.comixtribe.com/category/the-proving-grounds/) to see if it's for you, and then reading the rules (http://www.comixtribe.com/columns/the-proving-grounds/submit/).

If you want to get it seen quickly, I suggest doing so now. The line is very, very low at present, and it is first come, first served.

Thanks! Hope to see you there!