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Scribbly
06-05-2013, 02:10 AM
Hi, I was working my take on digital lettering activities following all your tutorials online.
Please, your advice and critiques are more than welcomed.

http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p214/yeyed/SD401_colorcopy_zps3e5880ff.jpg (http://s129.photobucket.com/user/yeyed/media/SD401_colorcopy_zps3e5880ff.jpg.html)

http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p214/yeyed/SD402_colorcopy_zps5ebb5239.jpg (http://s129.photobucket.com/user/yeyed/media/SD402_colorcopy_zps5ebb5239.jpg.html)

http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p214/yeyed/SD403_colorcopy_zps37056441.jpg (http://s129.photobucket.com/user/yeyed/media/SD403_colorcopy_zps37056441.jpg.html)

http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p214/yeyed/SD404_colorcopy_zps705a4c69.jpg (http://s129.photobucket.com/user/yeyed/media/SD404_colorcopy_zps705a4c69.jpg.html)

http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p214/yeyed/SD405_colorcopy_zps3766e223.jpg (http://s129.photobucket.com/user/yeyed/media/SD405_colorcopy_zps3766e223.jpg.html)

paul brian deberry
06-05-2013, 09:56 AM
Not bad!

Good job avoiding the crossbar I rule.

Did a good job with the balloon placement. Not much space to work with.

There is a couple space issue within the balloons and panels.

Good job overall.

lordmagnusen
06-05-2013, 11:44 AM
Looks good overall. Couple of suggestions:

1) Watch the balloon tails. In page 2, panel 4, the "Lucas isn't the first" tail would be better if it came out of the left side of the balloon, and pointed at her head (short tail will suffice). Same page, panel 5, the guy's dialogue would be better with a short tail coming out of the first balloon and pointing at his head. Same on page 3, panel 2 and the woman's balloon; page 4 panel 1 and the guy's first balloon... and that's it. There's no reason for balloon tails to come out of people's torsos or arms/elbows if there's good "head pointing space".

2) Watch your text block shapes. Overall, you did a good job there, but for example, page 2, panel 3; "Our son" would be better as two lines, in a slightly tighter balloon. Next panel, "lucas isn't the first" would be better as:

Lucas
isn't the
first, you
know.

Same for the guy's balloon in that panel, and the last balloon of them all, "deal him in" would be better with a rounder balloon and two lines.

L Jamal
06-05-2013, 02:42 PM
There's one crossbar I in it's at the beginning of a sentence in balloon 1 of page 2.

Scribbly
06-08-2013, 12:00 PM
Yes you are right Jamal.
I don't know why, I thought that at the beginning of sentences, nouns and pronouns the crossbar was allowed.
But it is not. My bad.
Crossbars are only for pronouns and nouns. Correct?
Thank you guys.
Another page for your revision.

http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p214/yeyed/rediscute_zps7c0a6869.jpg (http://s129.photobucket.com/user/yeyed/media/rediscute_zps7c0a6869.jpg.html)

paul brian deberry
06-08-2013, 01:52 PM
nope, just personal pronouns.

lordmagnusen
06-08-2013, 11:57 PM
Some letterers do find it acceptable in words that beging a sentence and begin with I, or given names, but that's all.

Evan Henry
06-10-2013, 10:55 PM
Not bad, apart from the crossbars. Placement is fine. Keep in mind that you want the tail to "originate" near the center of the balloon. If you can put an imaginary point at the middle of the balloon and picture the tail growing out from there, you should be good, but a lot of these are too off-center for my taste.