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khperkins
05-21-2013, 12:36 PM
Hi Guys. I did the following as a test for a job, that I didn't get. Could I get a critique on what I could do better, please?

http://keithperkins.net/files/TB2.jpg

Thanks.

Evan Henry
05-21-2013, 03:39 PM
Looks pretty good! I would put a little more curve into the balloon tails, though, and think about bringing a few of them down to size (look at the tails in panels two and four, for example, and compare them to those in three and five). Other than that, I don't think there are any real problems here. The way panel four butts against the panel border is a little distracting. I might move it up and to the left a little so you can clip the balloon a little closer to the text. In panel two, his balloon is tangenting with her hand.

Jeff LeBlanc
05-21-2013, 04:04 PM
-Look out for tangents with the lineart and for tails that end right on the lineart.
-I wouldn't use the crossbar I at the beginning of sentences... only for the personal pronoun
-The last panel has weird balloon placements. Considering the amount of open space on the guy's back, there's no need to cover up the lineart. Also, some readers will have a moment of confusion, because it could look like she's saying both lines.
-It's a style choice, but did you consider doing a burst balloon for the "AAH!"

khperkins
05-21-2013, 07:49 PM
-Look out for tangents with the lineart and for tails that end right on the lineart.
-I wouldn't use the crossbar I at the beginning of sentences... only for the personal pronoun
-The last panel has weird balloon placements. Considering the amount of open space on the guy's back, there's no need to cover up the lineart. Also, some readers will have a moment of confusion, because it could look like she's saying both lines.
-It's a style choice, but did you consider doing a burst balloon for the "AAH!"

Yeah, they didn't want any burst balloons, or anything except regular ones, and they specified a certain font, and certain size for the font. And dammit, how'd I miss those crossbar I's?

HdE
05-21-2013, 10:24 PM
Yeah, they didn't want any burst balloons, or anything except regular ones, and they specified a certain font, and certain size for the font.

Really?

I personally hate it when a client does that. Unless it's in the interests of keeping the look of a book consistent when picking up from another letterer, in which case it's a bit more understandable.

If that's not the case, though... well, you have to wonder at the logic of hiring a specialist and then effectively handcuffing him before he starts work.

khperkins
05-22-2013, 10:26 AM
Really?

I personally hate it when a client does that. Unless it's in the interests of keeping the look of a book consistent when picking up from another letterer, in which case it's a bit more understandable.

If that's not the case, though... well, you have to wonder at the logic of hiring a specialist and then effectively handcuffing him before he starts work.
I think that's the case, and they put out a number of books, so want to be consistent across the line.