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Steven Forbes
01-22-2013, 03:31 AM
Okay, so I didn't go in with high hopes. I mean, it's a spoof of the found-footage haunting movies, with a Wayans in it. Not high art. I went in expecting some sex jokes, some fart jokes, and gags along the lines of Scary Movie 2.

It was rated R, and that was okay. I was expecting maybe some drug references and some cursing. Wayans spoof, right?

What I got was worse than I thought. LOTS of sex jokes. Marlon acting like he's fucking stuffed animals for maybe about 2-3 minutes, which is a lifetime in movie-speak. And there were a couple of scenes of that. A couple who were swingers and the wife wanted to screw Marlon... Marlon's girlfriend has sex with the ghost... Marlon gets raped by the ghost... There's a Mandingo party with the wife of the couple that wanted Marlon... More simulated sex with stuffed animals... Sex with Marlon and his girlfriend... The housekeeper having sex with the gardner...

As you can see, it was the same note over and over again. It got boring.

The sad part was that I had a gaggle of kids with me. Fart jokes and a little simulated sex is okay, but I wasn't expecting near over-the-top raunch. TOTALLY inappropriate for kids. Totally inappropriate for anyone under 18...and I'm not a prude. There were some jokes that should have made this movie NC-17. (Personally, I think it was worse than this, and that the movie itself WAS NC-17, and they cut out the worst parts in order to keep what they wanted and bring it to an R. Just my belief.)

As for the movie itself...there were some humorous parts. I wouldn't necessarily call it "funny." There were some parts that made me chuckle. But in all, it isn't a movie I would recommend.

-Steven

CHWolf
01-22-2013, 03:35 AM
"Uncle Steve, what's a **** ****ing ****-*** *****er?"

Steven Forbes
01-22-2013, 04:50 AM
Nope. My daughters (who really wanted to see the movie--they're 12 and 13), and children of friends I'm staying with at the moment (15 and 9, and a 14 year old boy they're watching for a couple of months). So it isn't "Uncle Steve" anything. I'm in the south, so it's Mr. Steve.

(I hate that. Formal informality.)

-Steven

Co.Inkadink
01-22-2013, 04:57 AM
Why would you take 12 and 13 year olds to an R rated movie in the first place? And why didn't you walk out?

Steven Forbes
01-22-2013, 05:48 AM
I thought it was going to be along the lines of Scary Movie. An R-rated comedy that actually had some humor to it.

And the reason I didn't walk out is because I don't walk out of movies. That's a waste of money, and I don't believe in wasting money. I have yet to find a movie that was so wretched that I would walk out on it. This one wasn't close to being something I'd walk out on, it was just wildly inappropriate for the audience I took with me.

I sometimes wish there were subratings. Like, R, hi R, lo R. This would have been a hi R. I wouldn't have taken them to this, and I probably wouldn't have paid money to see it. I more than likely would have waited until it was on cable. I don't think this movie would make it to network television. There are too many scenes that would just have to be cut wholesale.

-Steven

Co.Inkadink
01-22-2013, 07:12 AM
I thought it was going to be along the lines of Scary Movie. An R-rated comedy that actually had some humor to it.I guess I don't get it because I wouldn't watch Scary Movie after I read the reviews. R-rated, comedy or otherwise means NOT FOR KIDS. My kids are 12 10 and 9 and have never seen a movie with any kind of sex in it. The only PG 13 movies they've seen are the Marvel movies and my 9 yr old Daughter hasn't seen all of them.


And the reason I didn't walk out is because I don't walk out of movies. That's a waste of money, and I don't believe in wasting money. I have yet to find a movie that was so wretched that I would walk out on it. This one wasn't close to being something I'd walk out on, it was just wildly inappropriate for the audience I took with me.
I don't walk out of movies either. I would've read the reviews first, there are tons of websites that would tell you if it were appropriate for children. There's something else too, it's called an R Rating it says this movie is Inappropriate for children. I would be more concerned also with what my children saw that they can never UnSee than the 30 bucks I spent. I also wouldn't have taken them to it even if they asked, I would've said NO, it's not a movie for kids.

I sometimes wish there were subratings. Like, R, hi R, lo R. This would have been a hi R. I wouldn't have taken them to this, and I probably wouldn't have paid money to see it. I more than likely would have waited until it was on cable. I don't think this movie would make it to network television. There are too many scenes that would just have to be cut wholesale.

-StevenPretty much R means it's not for kids. Maybe you've figured it out now.

Steven Forbes
01-22-2013, 07:25 AM
Those are your opinions. Mine differ.

I choose not to shield my kids from everything. I think they are mature enough to handle different things.

An R rating does not mean not for kids. It means that the film/game/whatever should be consumed with adult supervision. PG-13 doesn't mean no one under 13 is admitted. It means children under 13 should have adult supervision. The only movies that kids aren't allowed in are those that are NC-17 and X-rated.

Maybe you've figured it out now.

-Steven

Co.Inkadink
01-22-2013, 07:59 AM
"A couple who were swingers and the wife wanted to screw Marlon... Marlon's girlfriend has sex with the ghost... Marlon gets raped by the ghost... There's a Mandingo party with the wife of the couple that wanted Marlon... More simulated sex with stuffed animals... Sex with Marlon and his girlfriend... The housekeeper having sex with the gardner..."

"TOTALLY inappropriate for kids. Totally inappropriate for anyone under 18 wildly inappropriate"

I choose not to shield my kids from everything. I think they are mature enough to handle different things.

Neither do I, but I do shield them from things that I feel are "wildly inappropriate" for them. If you think your 12 and 13 year old daughters are mature enough to handle 2 hours of sex on the big screen then I guess they are. Good thing you didn't waste your money and walk out. I want my kids to experience those things differently so I will shield them from it until I feel they are mature enough to handle it, and mine definitely aren't.


An R rating does not mean not for kids. It means that the film/game/whatever should be consumed with adult supervision. PG-13 doesn't mean no one under 13 is admitted. It means children under 13 should have adult supervision. The only movies that kids aren't allowed in are those that are NC-17 and X-rated.

Maybe you've figured it out now.

-StevenOK I stand corrected, I've learned that R means it's something I wouldn't want my kids watching. Usually Hollywood is accurate on these things. I can't think of a R rated movie except something like Schindlers List that I would let my kids watch, and I won't let them watch it until they're teens. It just seemed like you were complaining that your kids saw something you didn't want them to see. I would check the reviews first if I were you and you wouldn't have this problem.

Steven Forbes
01-22-2013, 11:20 AM
It wasn't a complaint. It was an observation. I wasn't complaining about the fact that I had kids with me. I wanted to talk about my experience of the movie. Even if I didn't have the kids with me, it would still be inappropriate for most audiences.

Like I said before, I went in thinking it was along the lines of Scary Movie. A review that only glosses things over isn't much of a review. If I knew just how bad it was, I wouldn't have gone to see it. Or is that too difficult a concept for you to grasp?

Did I know it was wildly inappropriate for their age range? No. No review says it, either. So you go in and roll the dice. I crapped out on this one.

Like I said before, you have your idea of what your kids can handle, I have mine.

You won't change my mind, you won't persuade me that your way is better, you won't get me to thinking I need to review every movie before I go and see it. We're different. That's good enough for me.

Let it be.

Biofungus
01-22-2013, 11:57 AM
You're big mistake was hoping it'd be like Scary Movie 2, when they have like 4 more "Scary Movies" and several others not from that franchise since then that could have basically told you what this movie would be like. SM2 was still in the, "we have to keep things on the down low so they let us keep making movies" phase. Once that was a hit they had carte blanche and shit all over everything since.

CHWolf
01-22-2013, 03:48 PM
Also, Haunted House sounds like an adaptation of this forum.

Jasen Smith
01-22-2013, 03:55 PM
I have a 5 and 3 year old, not as old as your kids but even after seeing Scary Movie 2, I wouldn't take them to see this movie after seeing the trailer. It looks exactly like what I thought it would.
Course I watch the Red Band trailers so I get a better idea...if it has boobies or not.

Co.Inkadink
01-22-2013, 05:33 PM
Like I said before, I went in thinking it was along the lines of Scary Movie. A review that only glosses things over isn't much of a review. If I knew just how bad it was, I wouldn't have gone to see it. Or is that too difficult a concept for you to grasp?Who said you have to read a review that glosses things over? There are some that are specific about content without being spoilers. You said it was inappropriate for under 18 and now you say most audiences, but your 12 and 13 yr old can handle it. I think I grasp the idea just fine. It was a sexed up movie and you sat there with your kids anyway because you didn't want to waste money. I was just offering an alternative by reading a review, the solution to me is you know what you're getting into and what your kids will see and you won't waste your money.

Co.Inkadink
01-22-2013, 05:58 PM
Here is a review site that definitely doesn't gloss things over.
kids-in-mind.com A Haunted House (http://www.kids-in-mind.com/h/hauntedhouse.htm)

CHWolf
01-22-2013, 07:32 PM
OH GOD BARE LEGS, ARMS, BACKS, FEET, AND ANKLES TOO?

BE THIS SOME ROMAN SPECTACLE?
<booyah>

Co.Inkadink
01-22-2013, 08:37 PM
OH GOD BARE LEGS, ARMS, BACKS, FEET, AND ANKLES TOO?

BE THIS SOME ROMAN SPECTACLE?
<booyah>
Is that all you read? You left out a lot.

Do you have kids?

CHWolf
01-22-2013, 09:02 PM
Stop not understanding things.

Co.Inkadink
01-22-2013, 09:18 PM
Stop not understanding things.

Stop being yourself.

Jon Dahl
01-22-2013, 09:21 PM
http://media.247sports.com/Uploads/Assets/486/688/688486.gif

Buckyrig
01-22-2013, 09:24 PM
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/kuoiRr6hLjg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

CHWolf
01-22-2013, 11:08 PM
Stop being yourself.

I pointed out non-issues (legs, arms, stomachs) that are placed into the information alongside extreme adult content as if it's all equal. It was oozing with sarcasm, and frankly you never seem to be able to pick up on when someone is kidding. You come back at that by talking about me not reading the article? Really? WHAT? How do you function in day to day life?

So really, stop acting as if you have any clue what I'm talking about. I don't want to explain everything at length so you understand it every time you pop up out of dumbspace with your inane and uninformed "OMFG I GOTCHA!!!!!!!11" one-lines.

It's sad, you're sad, and it's making me sad.


Now, that said, I'm sure your next reply is going to be "You're a non-issue" so please to HAVE THE FUCK AT IT.

Steven Forbes
01-23-2013, 12:27 AM
Who said you have to read a review that glosses things over? There are some that are specific about content without being spoilers. You said it was inappropriate for under 18 and now you say most audiences, but your 12 and 13 yr old can handle it. I think I grasp the idea just fine. It was a sexed up movie and you sat there with your kids anyway because you didn't want to waste money. I was just offering an alternative by reading a review, the solution to me is you know what you're getting into and what your kids will see and you won't waste your money.

For clarification:

I went to see a movie. It was overflowing with jokes of a sexual nature. Those jokes, I feel, after seeing the movie, were wildly inappropriate for most audiences, despite it's R rating.

I took my kids to see this movie, because I believed that it would be funny, and that they would be able to handle the few sexual jokes I was expecting. My kids are mature for their age, but even this was inappropriate.

I will not go hunting down reviews of movies I want to go see because in some attempt to shield my children from life. I used the information available to me at the time, along with past experience, to make a decision. I knew going in that there were going to be sexual jokes. I did not know that they were going to be wildly inappropriate for even most R-rated audiences.

Now, if you have trouble understanding any of that, then you are being willfully ignorant, and we will have nothing else to discuss. (Methinks I've accused you of this before, when you had a different screen name.)

Jon Dahl
01-23-2013, 12:53 AM
Steve, he's "The Spirit" with a different username. :yawn:

You know how this ends.

CHWolf
01-23-2013, 01:23 AM
"This guy sounds like that other nut that used to hang around. What a coinkadink!"

Biofungus
01-23-2013, 01:23 AM
I'm still trying to understand why you went in thinking "Scary Movie 2", considering all the gobshite they put out after that (to which this movie seems to follow the same trend) :D

Co.Inkadink
01-23-2013, 02:16 AM
I pointed out non-issues (legs, arms, stomachs) that are placed into the information alongside extreme adult content as if it's all equal. It was oozing with sarcasm, and frankly you never seem to be able to pick up on when someone is kidding. You come back at that by talking about me not reading the article? Really? WHAT? How do you function in day to day life?

So really, stop acting as if you have any clue what I'm talking about.


Now, that said, I'm sure your next reply is going to be "You're a non-issue" so please to HAVIT.First Boo Hoo
Second my original response was what are you talking about?
Third who cares what you think really? Or me for that matter? Why do you have to explain anything to me? If it's a joke let it go. Stop getting so upset over nothing.

Co.Inkadink
01-23-2013, 02:26 AM
For clarification:

I went to see a movie. It was overflowing with jokes of a sexual nature. Those jokes, I feel, after seeing the movie, were wildly inappropriate for most audiences, despite it's R rating.

I took my kids to see this movie, because I believed that it would be funny, and that they would be able to handle the few sexual jokes I was expecting. My kids are mature for their age, but even this was inappropriate.

I will not go hunting down reviews of movies I want to go see because in some attempt to shield my children from life. I used the information available to me at the time, along with past experience, to make a decision. I knew going in that there were going to be sexual jokes. I did
not know that they were going to be wildly inappropriate for even most R-rated audiences.

Now, if you have trouble understanding any of that, then you are being willfully ignorant, and we will have nothing else to discuss. (Methinks I've accused you of this before, when you had a different screen name.)I think I've made it clear from the first post I understand what you're saying. You took your 2 daughters ages 12 and 13 to an R rated movie, you thought it would be funny and it was inappropriate for even 18 yr olds but you sat there anyway because you didn't want to lose your money you rather your daughters see the filth onscreen than lose money. You won't look up reviews to find appropriate movies for your daughters or tell them No because that might shield them from life and that would be bad in your opinion.
I think I understand perfectly.

Steven Forbes
01-23-2013, 02:28 AM
I'm still trying to understand why you went in thinking "Scary Movie 2", considering all the gobshite they put out after that (to which this movie seems to follow the same trend) :D

I'm easily amused. This could have been a funny movie if it weren't for ALL of the very adult material. Or better pacing.

But, yeah, I'm easily amused.

Co.Inkadink
01-23-2013, 02:29 AM
Steve, he's "The Spirit" with a different username. :yawn:

You know how this ends.
You lock the thread?

Steven Forbes
01-23-2013, 02:29 AM
I think I've made it clear from the first post I understand what you're saying. You took your 2 daughters ages 12 and 13 to an R rated movie, you thought it would be funny and it was inappropriate for even 18 yr olds but you sat there anyway because you didn't want to lose your money you rather your daughters see the filth onscreen than lose money. You won't look up reviews to find appropriate movies for your daughters or tell them No because that might shield them from life and that would be bad in your opinion.
I think I understand perfectly.

Steve, he's "The Spirit" with a different username. :yawn:

You know how this ends.

Yup.

I'm done.

Jasen Smith
01-23-2013, 02:34 AM
I think I've made it clear from the first post I understand what you're saying. You took your 2 daughters ages 12 and 13 to an R rated movie, you thought it would be funny and it was inappropriate for even 18 yr olds but you sat there anyway because you didn't want to lose your money you rather your daughters see the filth onscreen than lose money. You won't look up reviews to find appropriate movies for your daughters or tell them No because that might shield them from life and that would be bad in your opinion.
I think I understand perfectly.

https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTjVan884b72nwcBQSl39WgTs6j6CHi7 2XNuDaCsAmMIB-RAezprg

CHWolf
01-23-2013, 02:53 AM
First Boo Hoo

I see now that you follow the child-friendly sites because you have the intellect of one. So at least we come away with that.


Second my original response was what are you talking about?

Where is this debated? Or are you just saying random things because "whee"?

(Also, that SO was NOT your response. What do you gain from making something up?)


Why do you have to explain anything to me? If it's a joke let it go.

I was originally perfectly happy to let it go over your head, yeah. I mean, just look back and you'll see me doing it again and again.

And again and again. And again.

At some point I have to get concerned for your well-being or I'm not a very good human being.

See, here's the problem... If you "stop not understanding things" as I requested, your life will be enriched.

Conversely, if I "stop being myself" as you requested, EVERYONE suffers.

:slap:


Stop getting so upset over nothing.

Don't mistake dressing you down for being upset.

Just like you shouldn't confuse "I have to explain everything to you or you'll keep saying stupid things forever" with the much different "I want to explain everything to you because you matter so much."

You don't need to offer a counter-point to things you don't understand. In fact, it's generally a bad idea.

Co.Inkadink
01-23-2013, 03:05 AM
Look I don't know what you're going on about. I'm done. I thought the guy really was concerned about this movie being inappropriate for his kids and I offered advice. I probably went too far but I'm done. I think it's a good idea to shield your kids from inappropriate stuff, I think it's our duty to protect our kids til they are old enough to understand certain things. My grandparents took me to see a movie called Buster and Billie when I was 6 and it messed me up for years. Anyway whatever, peace.

CHWolf
01-23-2013, 03:15 AM
Look I don't know what you're going on about.

Whoa.

You don't know what I'm going on about, which is the fact that you don't know what people are going on about.

Meta.

Co.Inkadink
01-23-2013, 03:53 AM
Whoa.

You don't know what I'm going on about, which is the fact that you don't know what people are going on about.

Meta.

Ok

CHWolf
01-23-2013, 03:56 AM
Ok

Alright

Co.Inkadink
01-23-2013, 04:09 AM
You complete me.

Jon Dahl
01-23-2013, 10:26 AM
You lock the thread?

I was going to say "Nope, this section has a moderator." But I checked and Marvin hasn't logged in since January 4th.

That's the longest he's gone without posting since 1998, so naturally I assume he's dead.

So, am I going to close the thread? Probably, but we'll see how this plays out.

CHWolf
01-23-2013, 02:38 PM
Jon Dahl wracked by grief.

Co.Inkadink
01-23-2013, 02:54 PM
You guys are so Dramatic!

Biofungus
01-23-2013, 03:07 PM
Don't mistake dressing you down for being upset.

No, he's not far off. Many times you simply come off as a whiny little ***** (I'll just leave those asterisks there and let people fill in what they want :har: ).

If it makes you feel better though:

Your DW's very own Anakin Skywalker. Pre-Vader of course.

CHWolf
01-23-2013, 06:29 PM
Mm, yeah. Not buying your BS. I'm far too condescending and confrontational to a "little whiny" anything. More of the standard "say it and it must be true" self-dilusion that permiates the web.

Point out a single whine, *****. (Hint: It's "bitch".)

Biofungus
01-23-2013, 11:07 PM
Sure. http://www.digitalwebbing.com/forums/showthread.php?t=163537

Just about everything after your first post in that thread was whining because you misunderstood what an "opinion" was.

Also see the pre-election political posts in chit chat. As soon as anybody disagreed with you, whine whine.

How about the way you kept whining about how DW was dying and you could save it but nobody would give you the power to do so? Methinks you don't understand what it means to "whine" because you do it quite a bit under the guise of "trying to stimulate discussion".

Co.Inkadink
01-24-2013, 12:07 AM
Y'know Haunted House the movie may not be any good but Haunted House the thread is very entertaining.

Biofungus
01-24-2013, 12:29 AM
Y'know Haunted House the movie may not be any good but Haunted House the thread is very entertaining.
And we don't even charge the exorbitant ticket prices!

CHWolf
01-24-2013, 12:37 AM
Bio, it's crazy how much of a douche you're being. You realize you're picking this fight, right?

Just about everything after your first post in that thread was whining because you misunderstood what an "opinion" was.

Actually, dipshit, here's where the misunderstanding of "opinion" started in that thread:

"You're completely wrong. [...] Trying to turn a Pixar film into a depressing reality is something that isn't needed, it's the very reason I love Pixar - I don't need depression as a counter-balance, it's just pure fun."

Take a look and who said it, and where. Since you clearly have suffered some sort of recent head injury, here's a hint: First resonse in the damned thread.

White-washer. :P


Also see the pre-election political posts in chit chat. As soon as anybody disagreed with you, whine whine.

So disagreeing with someone vehemently is "whining".

Buy a dictionary, because I'm pretty sure that complaining like some sad-sack about how I handle myself in debates/discussions/arguements... is you whining about it.



How about the way you kept whining about how DW was dying and you could save it but nobody would give you the power to do so?

Never happened. What do you really gain by lying, Bio?

I noted that the site was/is dying. I even complained about it.

What's the difference, you ask? (While massaging your own feces into your scalp...)

This is whining:

"Why won't Ed do something? Why won't any of you help us? WHY ARE WE MADE TO LIVE IN FILTH? Why can't we have nice things? It's not fair! I'm leaving unless you do something! Waahh!"


If you're going to say I don't know what it means to "whine", then you'd better make sure YOU get it right, clown.



whine

"1. to utter a low, usually nasal, complaining cry or sound, as from uneasiness, discontent, peevishness, etc.: The puppies were whining from hunger."

Haven't done that.

"2. to snivel or complain in a peevish, self-pitying way: He is always whining about his problems."

Not self-pitying to want what's best for the community OR to scold people for crapping on threads. Don't see how either affects me personally, so...

"3. to utter with or as if with a whine: I whined my litany of complaints."

I'm more of a lambaster. Lambastard. Whining usually isn't peppered with barbs and fired off at morons.

"4. a whining utterance, sound, or tone."

Unless you've tapped into my microphone...

"5. a feeble, peevish complaint."

Feeble? Peevish? What, political beliefs and the state of this resource would be feeble? Peevish? Huh...



Methinks you don't understand what it means to "whine" because you do it quite a bit under the guise of "trying to stimulate discussion".

"Today's topic: Should America be in the Middle East? BioFungus, your take?"

"STOP WHINING ABOUT OUR PRESENSE THERE UNDER THE GUISE OF TRYING TO STIMULATE DISCUSSION."


Put down the box of Moron Flakes and step away from the bowl. You're fucking up pretty fierce, and I doubt anyone reading this would agree with you that I "whine" as opposed to just being a loudmouthed prick.

Co.Inkadink
01-24-2013, 01:06 AM
Quick vote:
Who is more fun in this thread Cha-Wolf or Bi-fungus?

BOTH! Everybody Wins!

CHWolf
01-24-2013, 01:08 AM
That's not fair unless I get an ejaculating avatar, too.

PS. Please don't give me an ejaculating avatar.

Co.Inkadink
01-25-2013, 06:50 AM
How bout this as your avatar?

http://www.thedestinlog.com/polopoly_fs/1.73998.1357321678!/fileImage/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_445/wine-glasses.jpg

CHWolf
01-25-2013, 04:02 PM
Ba-ZING!

The Dag
01-25-2013, 11:54 PM
well played Co.Inkadink.

Mwynn
03-17-2013, 10:36 PM
I was going to say "Nope, this section has a moderator." But I checked and Marvin hasn't logged in since January 4th.

That's the longest he's gone without posting since 1998, so naturally I assume he's dead.

So, am I going to close the thread? Probably, but we'll see how this plays out.

You declare me dead to soon.