Your Real Life Zombie Dispatching Team

[Jon Dahl]

Using the power of the Social Network, I've selected the five people I know in real life that I would take with me on a Zombie Killing Rampage, and I'll tell you why:


1) Chad. A card carrying NRA member, redneck, survivalist, mathematician, bow hunter, mechanic, laser metal cutting thingie building guy, engineer, and all around general bad ass.

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-ash1/v185/215/60/1133251124/n1133251124_30003210_8239.jpg

2) Jesse. At six feet, two inches tall, this 250 pound fully functioning alcoholic is the perfect zombie distraction. He has an arsenal of firearms, ranging from pistols, shotguns, and homemade explosives.

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-ash1/v645/124/117/570700061/n570700061_5225461_6653.jpg

3) Base Basvic. Martial Arts expert, face smasher, heavy weight cage fighter, and boxer. He's crushed living skulls. I think he could do okay against a rotten one.

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs241.ash1/16872_1361061148148_1280151991_31072678_6085385_n. jpg

4) Clint. My longest known friend. Army Captain, Doctor of Veterinary Medicine, biochemist, survivalist, firearms expert, Krav Maga expert, certified genius, and he's a Mormon. You never know when you'll need a Mormon.

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs232.snc1/7918_1230864298130_1424803908_2414822_1434428_n.jp g

5) Robert Dahl. Zombie Expert, Navy something n' other... Err... Zombie expert... And he's my brother.

http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/117/l_5117536364e6175a6b60b250a5c127f9.jpg

And of course, me:

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs097.snc4/36206_10150223980490611_593160610_13640769_7285588 _n.jpg

[The Dag]

no wife and kids?

[Jon Dahl]

no wife and kids?

Nope. The kids would be useless against zombies. My wife and I would only argue and fight until inevitability she'd say, "They got Jon!" And then she'd shoot me in the head.

[The Dag]

all men is kinda gay.

[Biofungus]

all men is kinda gay.
He just wants to survive the zombie holocaust with 'em, not run around naked in a meadow...

[The Dag]

He just wants to survive the zombie holocaust with 'em, not run around naked in a meadow...

but when the zombies are gone then what?

[HaphazardJoy]

but when the zombies are gone then what?

I think that's the whole point of this list, to figure out which one gets to be the woman when it's all over. Hmmm, who's the prettiest....

[Jon Dahl]

It's just your zombie killing team, not your repopulating the earth team.

Pick five of your friends, and why they'd be good at killing. I would have chosen my sister, as she's a high level nurse, but I don't know if she's ever held a gun in her life.

At least I know my brother can shoot. (Well, he says he can).

[Jasen Smith]

I don't think I can pick five of my friends for the zombie invasion. They are all slackers who sit at home and play video games all day.

I would take Jon's friends.

[Biofungus]

but when the zombies are gone then what?
What five grown men do naked in a meadow is their business. Not yours. Unless you're one of the men.

[Jasen Smith]

Just because they are five grown doesnt mean they need to frolic together, I mean look at prison for example, there's nothing but guys....look at the military for example, there is almost nothing but guys in.... :blink:

uhhh zombie invasion!!! :carrot:

[The Dag]

looks like jon is the only person on here with 5 friends.

[Jon Dahl]

:laugh:

[Nick Kerklaan]

looks like jon is the only person on here with 5 friends.
I don't think that's it, I think it's that he's the only person on here with 5 friends who would be useful in a zombie invasion. I literally know two people who even know how to shoot a gun at all, let alone shoot it well. Me and all my friends would be fucked in a zombie invasion, and not in the fun men frolicking naked in a meadow way either.

[Jasen Smith]

I know several who'd be useful...they're just not my friends.
For God's sake one of them is named, Stephen "Hillbilly" Janzen. He is all kinds of redneck.

[HaphazardJoy]

I probably have more female friends than male, and even ignoring that, overall they're a bunch of artsy fartsy types and nerds.

[Jasen Smith]

Regardless of friends, I think I'd be done for because I live in a big city. A city is no place for a zombie invasion. After this thread, if there is a zombie invasion I think it would go like this.

Speeding down the freeway hitting undead corpse after corpse. My wife asks, "Where are we going?!"
With a determined look in my eye, "Kansas."
"What's in Kansas?"
"Dahl...Jon Dahl."

[Buckyrig]

I don't think that's it, I think it's that he's the only person on here with 5 friends who would be useful in a zombie invasion. I literally know two people who even know how to shoot a gun at all, let alone shoot it well. Me and all my friends would be fucked in a zombie invasion, and not in the fun men frolicking naked in a meadow way either.

I used to be pretty good with a bow and arrow back at summer camp. :w00t:


I know a few guys I'd put up against a bunch of pussy ass zombies, even without guns.

[HaphazardJoy]

Yeah, I live in a small city, but only minutes away from the burbs that quickly melt into rural Western MA. I'm not too concerned on that front. I was a boy scout, as long as I was well supplied, I could imagine myself doing alright out in the hills for a while.

[Nick Kerklaan]

I used to be pretty good with a bow and arrow back at summer camp. :w00t:


I know a few guys I'd put up against a bunch of pussy ass zombies, even without guns.
Oh yeah, one of my best friends is totally like a championship archer or something. So I'd take him. And, uh, my dad I guess. For the guns. After that I got nothing.

[Jon Dahl]

Regardless of friends, I think I'd be done for because I live in a big city. A city is no place for a zombie invasion. After this thread, if there is a zombie invasion I think it would go like this.

Speeding down the freeway hitting undead corpse after corpse. My wife asks, "Where are we going?!"
With a determined look in my eye, "Kansas."
"What's in Kansas?"
"Dahl...Jon Dahl."


If I could give you points again, I would! :laugh:

[Biofungus]

If it's firearms proficiency you're after, just head on down to your nearest post office.

[LDahl]

1. Amanda and Nick Wells. Amanda would have all zombies domesticated in a two mile radius or she would have their heads. Nick is very smart and would figure out some tech way of killing zombies that would probably be fun and effective...well partially effective. But he would eventually get the bugs worked out.
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y241/pumpkinpatch7/AN.jpg

3. Nicky... not all zombies would be fully grown. Nick would be pretty effective in getting those little knee-cap biters.
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y241/pumpkinpatch7/NICK2.jpg
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y241/pumpkinpatch7/NICK.jpg
Plus all other assorted grand kids. When they started acting up I could say...get your butts outside and kill some zombies for awhile until you all can behave yourselves.

4. Jason K. Hard working, good with machetes and chain saws.
Jon would miss him and would bring his team around to visit.
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y241/pumpkinpatch7/JasonK.jpg

5. Amanda D. She would be in charge of recruitment... everyone could use some expendable zombie killers. She could interview the candidates, and assess their zombie killing potential. If they didn't work out she would feed them to the zombies, then get a new batch. Also I could volunteer to keep the kids while she killed zombies around camp and she would be a zombie killing machine for eight to ten hours.
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y241/pumpkinpatch7/AmandaD.jpg

[AthenaRose]

Regardless of friends, I think I'd be done for because I live in a big city. A city is no place for a zombie invasion. After this thread, if there is a zombie invasion I think it would go like this.

Speeding down the freeway hitting undead corpse after corpse. My wife asks, "Where are we going?!"
With a determined look in my eye, "Kansas."
"What's in Kansas?"
"Dahl...Jon Dahl."

It's a good thing I'm alone in this office, 'cos I just laughed out loud :laugh:

[jedipencil]

I'd bring my dog, because he knows how to kill a toy, my cat because she could rip those zombies to shreds, my son because he's taller than any of them and would just have to step on them, my daughter because she has the best fashion sense in how to bury those dudes after, and my other half because once we finish fighting about things like strawberries, he just have to look at those zombies and they'd drop dead. Again. Oh and Dr Who, because his phone booth would a great place to hide in.

No I don't have 5 friends either..... :cry:

[Jason Arthur]

I can't possibly be the only one that thinks this would make a kick ass comic, right?

Who would die first Jon? (Can't say nobody... always need some hint that the main characters aren't safe).

-- J

[Lord Fejj]

That's why you always take a sacrificial fat guy. And don't take friends that can run faster than you!

[LDahl]

I've always thought you would be more in danger from the unbitten than the moaners.

[Jon Dahl]

Chad would survive.
Jesse would die because he'd be out there messing with the zombies and filming every minute of it.
Base would die. He'd kill a whole bunch of zombies on his way out, but there's only so many heads you can crush before getting tired.
Clint would survive.
Robert would only survive if he left the group to go live on his own. :p
And I might survive as long as my children weren't endangered. If they were, I'd do something stupid to save them. :laugh:

[Jasen Smith]

Just remember to follow the rules.


Cardio
The Double Tap
Beware of Bathrooms
Wear Seat Belts
No Attachments
The “Skillet”
Travel Light
Get a Kick Ass Partner
With your Bare Hands
Don’t Swing Low
Use Your Foot
Bounty Paper Towels
Shake it Off
Always carry a change of underwear
Bowling Ball
Opportunity Knocks
Don’t be a hero (later crossed out to be a hero)
Limber Up
Break it Up
It’s a marathon, not a sprint, unless it’s a sprint, then sprint
Avoid Strip Clubs
When in doubt Know your way out
Zipplock
Use your thumbs
Shoot First
A little sun screen never hurt anybody
Incoming!
Double-Knot your Shoes
The Buddy System
Pack your stain stick
Check the back seat
Enjoy the little things
Swiss army Knife

[outlaw]

He just wants to survive the zombie holocaust with 'em, not run around naked in a meadow...

Just for the record, running around naked in a meadow with a bunch of dudes is his end goal.