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scherzo
04-20-2008, 03:06 AM
Lady Shiva vs The Batman
http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/batman-1copy.jpg

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/batman-2copy.jpg

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/itdfktdgfogcfo.jpg
-Mark

jeffo46
04-20-2008, 06:58 AM
Very tight pencils and great storytelling,which IMO is something that a lot of these newer artists don't practice much today.My only crit is with some anatomy issues and the heads on your characters,especially Superman.They look like they don't have a forehead.That's just my opinion,anyways,other than that,Work on what I mentioned and I don't see why you shouldn't be able to get a gig somewhere.

MARS
04-20-2008, 01:59 PM
Nice stuff.

Kinda reminds me of earlier D. Scott stuff from Batgirl.

I do have some observations.

Page one is nice. I'm wondering if you could have combined Panel 3 and 4.The nice semi splash of Shiva is great but if you combined it with Batman readying himself for her ambush it might have more of an impact. This would also free up more panel space for the lower tier of panels at the bottom of the page.

Panel 5 is too small- and freeing up that space could give you more room to depict the action there.

Panel 6 looks hottt.

PAge 2.

Page two feels crammed. I really wouldn't change anything per say except maybe holding out that last panel with the big robot revealing itself for a next page splash to go for more impact. Or even work that whole scene into a double page spread.

You should establish Batman on top of the vat that the robot comes from more in a panel or two. Because when he jumps off- it doesn't look quite right. It's a jarring jump cut that i had to look at a couple times to figure out exactly what was going on.

Superman shows up in that last panel- but it might work out if you threw some sort of background in there the re-establish where we are in the scene.

Some basic notes...

Watch out for your borders. they are tight and some them might even get cut off in the bleed.

Good stuff. You should post more if you have it.

M.

Eliseu Gouveia
04-20-2008, 06:26 PM
Great stuff, if you´re willing to disregard the fact that drunken, blind Lady Shiva with both hands tied behind her back could still mop the floor with Batman.

Roel_Torres
04-20-2008, 10:16 PM
The left side of Superman's chest is absurdly wide. You might want to taper it down, so that it doesn't look like his shoulders are a mile apart.

scherzo
04-21-2008, 12:54 AM
Very tight pencils and great storytelling,which IMO is something that a lot of these newer artists don't practice much today.My only crit is with some anatomy issues and the heads on your characters,especially Superman.They look like they don't have a forehead.That's just my opinion,anyways,other than that,Work on what I mentioned and I don't see why you shouldn't be able to get a gig somewhere.
Thanks for critiquing jeffo46. I can see what you mean about larger foreheads. I think I blew it by overcompensating for the from-below angle, but it's something I'll keep on eye out for in the future. Good eye!
Nice stuff.

Kinda reminds me of earlier D. Scott stuff from Batgirl.

I do have some observations.

Page one is nice. I'm wondering if you could have combined Panel 3 and 4.The nice semi splash of Shiva is great but if you combined it with Batman readying himself for her ambush it might have more of an impact. This would also free up more panel space for the lower tier of panels at the bottom of the page.

Panel 5 is too small- and freeing up that space could give you more room to depict the action there.

Panel 6 looks hottt.

PAge 2.

Page two feels crammed. I really wouldn't change anything per say except maybe holding out that last panel with the big robot revealing itself for a next page splash to go for more impact. Or even work that whole scene into a double page spread.

You should establish Batman on top of the vat that the robot comes from more in a panel or two. Because when he jumps off- it doesn't look quite right. It's a jarring jump cut that i had to look at a couple times to figure out exactly what was going on.

Superman shows up in that last panel- but it might work out if you threw some sort of background in there the re-establish where we are in the scene.

Some basic notes...

Watch out for your borders. they are tight and some them might even get cut off in the bleed.

Good stuff. You should post more if you have it.
Great points all around MARS and I appreciate your taking the time to make them. Combining panels 3 and 4 is a good idea,(especially for improving the pacing and timing of the sequence)but I opted for a showcase shot of Shiva. I definitely agree that an extra establishing shot of Batman on the platform near the vat would have improved the clarity of page 2. Superman's panel was originally planned to have a background, but sadly I ran out of time before the NY CON. Thanks for posting!
Great stuff, if you´re willing to disregard the fact that drunken, blind Lady Shiva with both hands tied behind her back could still mop the floor with Batman.
Heh heh :)... thanks Eliseu. I've only encountered this Shiva character one time, and that was in Jeph Loeb's Batman/Superman "Public Enemies" trade.(when I googled her I found a different outfit in every image)I picked her for this mini-project only because I needed an athletic female villain that Batman wouldn't mind smashing through a skylight. ;)
The left side of Superman's chest is absurdly wide.
It's all those one handed push ups he's been doing(pushing the Earth down, not himself up in point of fact)...I told him nothing good would come of it. :(

I don't really see the problem at this moment Roel, but I'll keep what you said in mind next time I try my hand at drawing these super buff good-guy types again. Thanks for trying to help! :)

-Mark