View Full Version : vampire book

04-17-2008, 12:33 AM
Here's a page I finished yesterday. Tell me what you think. I'll have more up soon.

Dave Hedmark

04-17-2008, 01:10 PM
I can't believe no has commented on this page yet. Your background work is pretty amazing. I love your pacing but the one thing I think you are missing is an establishing shot. But I can't wait to see more.

04-17-2008, 02:38 PM
The backgrounds and detailing stand out as being particularly good. The shadows and drapery look right to me as well.

My one beef would be that some of the figures look slightly smooshed or something. The length of the arms on the girl look fine in panels 4, 5, and 8; but are too short in the first panel, and maybe on the guys with the guns as well.

04-17-2008, 03:26 PM
Maybe it's the size of the page on my screen, or the lack of colors, but in panel 4, the lady looks like she's missing a nose.

Jasen Smith
04-17-2008, 04:43 PM
More pages and a link to them so we can see them bigger.

It looks nice though I love the backgrounds and your style.

04-17-2008, 09:33 PM
Thanks you guys!

trialsze: thanks! Comics I've done in the last couple of years I was trying to do 3d backgrounds now I just want to do everything manually.

klortho: yeh sometimes my proportions get away from me. I just need to practice Loomis and Bridgman more. I want to have more dynamic poses and camera angles like Jim lee. I always look at his artwork and say wow if I just practice more and keep learning!

roel: just the rez

mr.axis: thanks I'll look for a better pic host

04-17-2008, 11:27 PM
great work dave! :thumbs:

04-18-2008, 04:56 AM
Great work. I'm really hesitant to critique others' work, especially when it's already been inked, as appears to be the case, here? But I'll give it a try. I hate to call them backgrounds because that seem to minimize their importantance when, here, they seem to be very critical to your compositions. They're gorgeous! One small thing... I'm looking at the floor boards and wondering if they're quite right. Or, damn, maybe they're the only way you could do them. I'm not sure. Klortho has a good point about your arm lengths. Not a big deal, but you might want to reconsider your proportions in that regard. Instead of trying to articulate, myself (probably poorly), on this, let me enthusiastically recommend the book, Atlas of Human Anatomy for the Artist by Stephen Rogers Peck (which greatly helped me) for awesome pointers on human proportions. Unfortunately, there's probably no getting around the fact that the woman's right arm in the first panel is too short. But, let us -all the more- recognize that your rendering of her head and face are gorgeous (beautiful, really) and very naturalistic. Likewise, despite the arm's misproportion (unless, of course, it's an intended deformity) it is very wonderfully naturalistic in demeanor and pose. I also have to echo Klortho's difficulty with the arms in the last panel. The man's arm in the foreground is almost passable (allowing for some foreshortening), but the second man's arm just doesn't seem right. Basically, the rule of thumb I use is: the length of the typical human's arm puts their elbow joint at about the bottom of their rib cage -or, at about their midsection- and their wrist probably hangs just about or slightly lower than their groin --roughly. Or, sorry, I'm a bit lit right now, but I think it's: if you take the length from the typical person's shoulders to their groin and halve it you get the approximate position of the typical person's elbow joint. Likewise, if you take the length of a the typical person's groin (pelvic arch) to their ankles and halve it, you get the approximate position of the typical person's knee joints. Hmmmm. Dun know if that's scientific, or not, but seems to work fine. Heheh. Panel two is smashing. Is that what they call forced perspective? It's very dramatic, well rendered, and effective! Panel four is fine. Well, perhaps Roel_Torres has a point about her nose. Perhaps more of a suggestion of a bridge for her nose and even a nostrel would help. But, I think it's fine. Perhaps it's really a matter of aesthetic choice. Panel five is fantastic. Forgive me. I don't know what the architectural term for that arched, windowed-ceiling hallway is, but it's wonderful, wonderfully illustrated, and really gives this page it's one, two --knock down punch! Again, also very dramatic. If you take our critiques to heart and rework this page, I hope that you have a light table to make reworking it easier for you. Keep up the lovely work!

Ebony Warrior
04-18-2008, 03:29 PM
I have to agree that tha panels are breathtaking. The detail is astounding and well done.

The one thing that jumped out at me was, where did the wall with the pictures and monitor come from. In the first panel we see lots of books and bookcases beside her but no wall with pictures and in panel 4 the angle is very close to being the same yet we see the monitor.

Great page though.

04-18-2008, 05:45 PM
It is refreshing to see an artist who can handle more than five panels on a page and make it work.

04-20-2008, 08:34 PM
Here are some more pages. this is a project I'm working on with friend Eugene for wolfman productions Ireland. The story is his I'm just illustrating 8 pages for every book. My goal is to one day be doing two comics a month but I have to improve my skill and speed before that can happen.

crizam: thank you :har:

azuretour: thank you for the great critique. I enjoyed reading your knowledgeable dissection of my work. The inks were all by hand I don't have my light table with me (im living in Japan) but I have Photoshop and a wacom tablet to rework the problems. Atlas of Human Anatomy for the Artist: thatís a book I own but I never opened, also back in the states. Thank you.

Ebony Warrior: lol yeh you caught one of my mistakes. When I designed the room I didn't fully read the script so I didn't make an aria on the wall for the pictures and monitor. The camera angle was most important. She had to be facing that way to lead the readers eyes into the next panel and also that small so there would be room for a word balloon. I could have put a wall with that stuff in the first panel but it seemed to detract from its balance. I thought if I ever had to explain why maybe there was a sliding book case or something. lol good catch.

Lovecraft13: making that many panels work is half the work. :D




04-20-2008, 10:32 PM
love that library. you leave a lot of room for balloons though. Lots o dialogue?
Otherwise, nice work. :thumbs:

j giar
04-20-2008, 10:53 PM
These are just some excellent and well done pages. And I admire your choice of camera angles....probably my only crit is that first panel in the library on page 2.
Not sure but I think it's the center pillar and the overlapping wing of the statue.
But that is truly my only gripe. Nice work. Jim

04-21-2008, 04:21 AM
Great angles, great BG but your work loses alot of energy with your characters. They aren't as impressive as the BG and very bland in comparison and while that makes them stand out, it also detracts greatly from the pages.

Good work, just practice loosening up when working on your figures. The more expressive they are and the more natural they feel, the better your pages will be.

BTW, I haven't seen BG work this well done since classical illustrators dominated the biz.

04-21-2008, 11:00 AM
wonderful pages! my only crit would be to work a little more on your line weights...as it stands because you have such great amounts of detail in the BG I sometimes lose sight of the chars...
keep up the great work! :laugh:

04-25-2008, 03:30 AM
bezelleo: thanks, yeh lots of dialogue.

j giar: thanks man

OZ!: yeh I have to hit the books. don't worry I'll make my characters better next time. :har:

TenGuKu: thanks man. yep I agree. I think I'll stick mostly to brush next time.

here's what I came up with.