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View Full Version : Lesbians and violence. (Really.)


Funfetus
03-21-2008, 02:19 PM
I drew these pages from a script to try out for a job, but the guy hasn't gotten back to me in a couple weeks, so I guess I didn't get it. :yawn: I hope the book does get published, because it looked really interesting.

Comments and crits are much appreciated.

http://fetalgrindings.com/misc/n'awlins0001.jpg


http://fetalgrindings.com/misc/n'awlins0002.jpg


http://fetalgrindings.com/misc/n'awlins0003.jpg


http://fetalgrindings.com/misc/n'awlins0004.jpg

secret-identity
03-21-2008, 02:27 PM
Hey man don't be so discouraged. I'm still waiting years for responses for job. :laugh: This guy hasn't gotten back to you yet, because he's still passed out in his seat from seeing how great these pages are.

Your story-telling is crisp. Very very easy to follow, didn't get lost not one bit. And your drawing skill is pretty good too.
I think the crowd loses detail too fast in the first panel, you dont want to look lazy when making submissions. Do that AFTER you have the job. :p (no, I'm playing). But even still, your attention to detail is amazing. You spot those blacks too well in that strip club, and the women kissing are just sexy!

Give it a chance, that guy may get back to you. I know first hand, these things take time.
Nice work though.
:kewl: :kewl: :kewl:

carynord
03-21-2008, 02:45 PM
Is that a roll of fat hanging over the strippers g-string? Yikes. haha.

You shouldn't have much trouble getting another gig. This is good looking stuff.

JerMohler
03-21-2008, 04:35 PM
I agree! Nice looking pages here.

Eva1
03-21-2008, 05:31 PM
Great pages! I can't believe this guy didn't get back to you....

He must've thought there was no way he could afford your rates! :D

martin993
03-21-2008, 05:41 PM
First of all, best thread title ever. Moving on... You did all that and didn't get the gig? Crikey. Awesome pages, man. The story's easy to follow, the women are hot and everybody looks like they're having a jolly good time. (Except that woman with an arm in her ribcage. She looks pretty upset.) Great work!

Jasen Smith
03-21-2008, 05:42 PM
If I had money, I'd ask you to draw comics for my scripts.
Your art is fantastic!
When I get my PC working again and start back on coloring, I'm going to color some of your work.

:kewl:

kdmelrose
03-21-2008, 05:46 PM
Once again, your poses are fantastic. The guy's body language, in particular, is well done.

My only quibbles are with the first two panels of the last page. Initially I thought the guy was peeking out from a stall, but I think he's peering in the restroom door. (Right?)

I think the storytelling would be a little more clear if you either pulled back in that first panel so that we can see where he is in relation to the rest of the restroom, or shift viewpoints in the second panel so we're looking over the woman's shoulder to see the guy at the door.

Still, nice work!

jeffo46
03-21-2008, 06:35 PM
Great job.I was able to follow your pages without any dialogue,and still know what was going on.To me,that is great storytelling,and besides that,you have a nice clean style which is easy on the eye and isn't trying to ape any one.Excellent.I would like to see some more. :kewl:

MARS
03-21-2008, 07:12 PM
Outstanding.

The acting is on point all the way dude.

Very stylized and cool. That panel is so dope it could be a cover.

Love it.

fox.django
03-22-2008, 06:31 AM
Yeah these pages are awesome, makes me want to work harder on my own stuff. I can;t imagine that the writers found someone much better than you, cos like a said fricken awesome, id buy this book.

Arne S.
03-22-2008, 06:52 AM
hehe, damn good pages -and a really cool titel!

Nick Pitarra
03-22-2008, 09:52 AM
Great work on these pages...nice flow to your characters.

~nick

GRIMSCRIBE
03-22-2008, 12:10 PM
Amazing work? Why aren't you work for Marvel, DC or Image yet? No justice in the world,amigo.
Ron

shadowyzman
03-22-2008, 12:17 PM
awesome stuff dude

Kep!
03-22-2008, 03:02 PM
Obviously, the guy hasn't gotten back to you because he's an asshole. I can't imagine what he's thinking.

Ok, for the record (of anyone not familiar with my writing), I'm the asshole. I've been all but offline for a few weeks as I deal with health issues that I didn't expect and will be talking at length with FunFetus offthread. That said, these pages are stunning.

kdmelrose
03-22-2008, 03:04 PM
Asshole.

Kep!
03-22-2008, 04:36 PM
Asshole.
I deserve that and more.

raya
03-22-2008, 04:54 PM
Obviously, the guy hasn't gotten back to you because he's an asshole. I can't imagine what he's thinking.

Ok, for the record (of anyone not familiar with my writing), I'm the asshole. I've been all but offline for a few weeks as I deal with health issues that I didn't expect and will be talking at length with FunFetus offthread. That said, these pages are stunning.

Agreed (not on the asshole part, though lol), the pages are fantastic, and inked as well. Great job!

The only comment I have is the last page is not as nice as the other pages, but it's still good!

khoipham
03-22-2008, 08:36 PM
holy crap. these are awesome. great art, and even greater storytelling. fantastic work.

Ebony Warrior
03-22-2008, 09:00 PM
Really nice work here. Great story telling and art. I think the crowd scene on page one is great, you didn't skimp on the details of the crowd (you even through in the girl exposing herself)

I hope you guys are shopping this around, because it definately needs to be picked up by a publisher.

Funfetus
03-24-2008, 11:44 AM
So it turns out that they decided to go with someone else. That's okay, though. From all the encouragement in this thread, I'm really confident that I'm gonna do okay in the end. :) Thanks so much for all the comments and criticisms, everyone. I really appreciate it.

secret-identity -- Yeah, you might be right that the crowd fades out too quickly, but damn, I probably spent like 20 hours on that page as it is! Though to be fair, a lot of that time was probably spent staring at it with my head in my hands saying "oh god oh god oh god". By far the most ambitious thing I've done. I'm pretty proud of how it came out, though.

kdmelrose -- Yeah, you're right that the guy peeking in the bathroom door is a bit ambiguous. I noticed that when I was looking back over these pages a week or so later. I should've pulled back enough to show the door handle. That's how you learn, I guess. Thanks for the help.

misteraxis -- Thanks! If you do color these, make sure to let me know, I'd love to see it.

Miguel Marques
03-25-2008, 07:51 AM
:thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs: :bounce:

wisper
03-25-2008, 10:52 AM
the girls butts have a more cartonnie look then the subject matter ....you've got your gore/prospectives down..give that one girls a more rounded ass...not so cowboy square..and the fat dancer..Ive never seen one in any dive titty bar..but it's been a while :laugh:

it must be frustrating to knock out a detailed piece and then pased on...

you do any comic cards?

lezbo fighting would have a market on ebay I believe...

TenGuKu
03-27-2008, 08:16 PM
Ahhhhh...finally, some pages that truly live up to the title! great work as alway FF...awesom stuff!

Caio Reis
03-29-2008, 02:55 PM
Cool pages! You've got style, man! ;)