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Ebony Warrior
03-20-2008, 08:24 PM
Here are some pages to a comic I am working on with a writer from another site. Thought I would post them here for comments.

Thanks

http://img247.imageshack.us/img247/8210/issue1page3tz9.jpg

http://img138.imageshack.us/img138/3826/issue1page4mu5.jpg

http://img505.imageshack.us/img505/9558/issue1page5280rq9.jpg

Lord Fejj
03-20-2008, 10:30 PM
Nice! Check your spelling and letter spacing.

Ebony Warrior
03-21-2008, 01:39 AM
Thanks Fejj, my lettering program tends to run words together, I thought I had caught them all, my bad.

Funfetus
03-21-2008, 02:11 PM
Really solid. I like it. Storytelling is good. Easy to follow. Nice balance of black and white, detail and space, etc. Just keep working on your drawing, and you'll be set.

Hmmm...one tiny nitpick, actually. The last panel, where the ninjas are jumping down? It's not TOO bad, because it doesn't actually confuse me as to whether it's the 2nd or the last panel, but it kinda reads as if it's happening DURING panels 2 and 3. It might be because of how the other panels overlap it. In general, I think it's best to keep away from stacking panels on the left.

Also, you use a lot of high-angle shots. This may just be a personal thing, but I feel like they kinda detach me from the action. Like I'm just observing, rather than being there.

davefromwy
04-20-2008, 09:07 PM
"Snap" heroin there must be... eight kilograms and that just the beginning. the pan...kua. :laugh: if you publish this I want a copy. I like your characters and layouts are fun. Page three panel on is awesome all those ninjas appearing through the shadows with death masks. This is sweet! Please make more. My only crit is to make the word balloons point more to the people’s mouths. Other then that. Please make more. :D