View Full Version : Figment Sequentials.

02-24-2008, 05:54 PM
I posted these in this thread (http://www.digitalwebbing.com/forums/showthread.php?t=121221&page=4)
More to come.

Fred Duran
02-24-2008, 06:05 PM
Damn slick page. If I remember correctly, this is something written by Mike225? I think I drew up a sketch to help illustrate panel 6 for a few folks when Mike posted the script up in the writer's board. Needless to say your version is a lot more badass (badasser?).
In the panel where he's jumping onto the unicycle, I had a bit of trouble seeing what was going on. I think Figment blends in a bit with the background there.
Also, this may just be me, but the last two panels (the smallest one on the bottom and the one that has its bottom in the lower right corner, just in case you're counting them differently than I am) - I can't tell what's going on. In the second to last one, I'm guessing that Figment is changing direction (that was the panel I sketched up, I think) to avoid Golscortch. I have no idea why Golscortch is in the air in the next panel, or what he's doing up there, or if I'm reading the panels in the right sequence. Again, it may be me, but I just can't follow that part.
Also, in the second panel of the right area, something seems funny about Golscortch's punching hand/arm, like it's connected at the top part right, but the bottom line is too far away, or something. I'm terrible at specifics, but it looks (to me) like there's something funny about that arm.
Otherwise, very, very slick. I particularly like the first panel on the left, pretty sweet way of showing expression and showing what causes the expression in one move.

Nice stuff


02-24-2008, 09:31 PM
Thanks fred for the comments. I'm trying my best to do good storytelling. If I have time I'll go back and fix those problems you pointed out and will definately take that advise from you moving forward.

03-03-2008, 05:31 AM
wow! fantastic pencil work! and great action too...but I have to say that the layout ruins the page...you have these great dynamic scenes, locked away in a neat little static box. it just kills the movement IMO..anyhow, props for the mad skillz!