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crazy8
02-18-2008, 12:13 AM
Here is some of my artwork.Tell me what you think.

http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t207/crazycircleproductions/my%20artwork/Recent%20Artwork/scan-2.jpg
http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t207/crazycircleproductions/my%20artwork/Recent%20Artwork/scan0001-1.jpg
http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t207/crazycircleproductions/my%20artwork/Recent%20Artwork/scan0002-2.jpg
http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t207/crazycircleproductions/my%20artwork/Recent%20Artwork/scan0003-1.jpg
http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t207/crazycircleproductions/my%20artwork/Recent%20Artwork/scan0004.jpg
http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t207/crazycircleproductions/my%20artwork/Recent%20Artwork/scan0005-1.jpg
http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t207/crazycircleproductions/my%20artwork/Recent%20Artwork/scan0006-1.jpg
http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t207/crazycircleproductions/my%20artwork/Recent%20Artwork/scan0007-1.jpg
http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t207/crazycircleproductions/my%20artwork/Recent%20Artwork/scan0008-1.jpg

cs3ink
02-18-2008, 01:27 AM
You've found your style, even if it is aped from Ramos, but your storytelling is really off. On these pages, as well as the pages in the other thread, your storytelling is, at best, clunky. You zoom in & out with your shots very dramatically, but with little to no apparent reason. It is very often difficult to impossible to understand what is happening on the page. You really need to work on telling your story in a way that is very easy to follow.

And you need to work on your anatomy. A flashy style won't cover for bad anatomy or bad storytelling. While you've found a cartoony way to cover your lack of anatomical understanding, it'll be obvious to any editor.

Focus less on style & splashy art, & more on solid storytelling & how to really draw a person or a background ('cause those are sorely lacking as well).

Keep at it. Keep learning. Post more pages.

Later,
Chip

BenelGermosen
02-18-2008, 01:37 AM
Yeah. Cs3ink is right. Though you're style is wonderful to look at, the composition of your work are jarring and the storytelling just does not work. I don't agree that you need to sacrifice style for story though. I think you can have both, you just have to have them in equal measure. This sometimes means sacrificing shots that look really good or really cool for shots that make visual sense and have good story-flow. I say, you're leagues ahead from a lot of other artist I've seen but you still have a ways to go. Keep it up.

crazy8
02-18-2008, 02:15 AM
Thanks guys on your critiqe and input.

Maybe alittle clarification is in order.I totally came up with off the top of my head so there was no script to speak of.But here is how it plays out for me:
Hulk is slammin the crap outta Ironman-He deserves it-As he is about to give shellhead the "Coupe de Gracie" The heavy hitters arrive(and this is where color and dialog would be preferable)Sentry,Thor and Surfer are actually being controlled by Xavier and he has resolved to use force to end this conflict but the reader doesnt know Xavier is behind it.He dispatched Thor to deal with Hulk while Surfer gets rid of the mothership and Sentry deals with Hulk's followers.So thats it goes from one scene to the next.So Thor hits Hulk with the big bolt and everyone thinks its over but he still gets up and the Illuminati and "heavy hitters" stand shocked but ready to fight.But we finally see who is pulling the strings You see Xavier looking badass rolling up his sleeve like I see "I'm going to have to kick your ass".And the great thing I like about is that the most gentle man is standing toe to toe with such a distructive force.and it comes down to brain vs brawn and whats more powerful Xaviers mind of Hulk body.
I hope that clears thing up alittle.
-Ray

cs3ink
02-18-2008, 08:58 AM
With all due respect, c88, as a general rule if you have to explain it, the storytelling is flawed. That tends to be about 99.8% in superhero comics. And should certainly be the case in this type of scene, where you're leading the reader through what could be (but shouldn't be -- if the artist has done his/her job) a confusion smash em up.

And not having a script really doesn't matter, except that it shows the editor who to blame 100% for the bad storytelling. Even if you'd had a script, a poorly designed page will still be viewed (in my opinion, correctly) as the artist's fault.

Keep at it.

Later,
Chip

Indy9506
02-18-2008, 10:41 AM
These pages are fun to look at because there are some really nice panels in them featuring Marvel characters beating the crap out of one another in dynamic fashion; however, I'm in complete agreement with Chip that the storytelling is lacking (although I would submit that your style is more reminiscent of Ed McGuinness--especially your rendering of feet--rather than Humberto Ramos, but I digress). I had to really concentrate and go back and forth between panels in an effort to determine what was happening...not a good sign.
Storytelling aside, the only comment I have (and it's a small one) is in reference to one of your choices with character rendering. I really think that the chain-mail armor on Thor needs to be rendered with more depth--maybe some shadows to suggest overlapping links; the simple cross pattern you've gone with seems too flat and a bit lazy given the obvious attention to the rest of your figures.
Definitely keep plugging away at the drawing board....

Saul Haber
02-18-2008, 02:05 PM
I thought this was pretty impressive. Without delving too deeply, I would just recommend redoing that first page or taking it out of your portfolio. I almost discounted you from that one page but then as I looked on I realized you had some real skills. The problems with page 1 are
in the first panel- Hulk's detached arm does not make for a good visual. And that doesn't read so clearly as Iron Man getting hit because it's just hard to see and also we haven't been introduced to Iron Man yet.
The big shot of Hulk seems to have too much going on in the chest area (too much black and odd musculature) and his metal arm seems to be too large.
The shot of Hulk getting shot at is a bit too close up, I think, and it's hard to read the action.
The shot of Hulk about to smash Iron Man looks nice, but its really small on the page and I'd think you'd want to put extra emphasis on that for dramatic effect and right now we barely notice it.
Honestly, after the first page, I think the work gets ten times better. There are still problems, but there are also a lot of cool visuals and you used a lot of fun characters and you drew some nice backgrounds too (except in the Thor hitting Hulk panel). You have a sharp rendering style and you don't shy away from spotting backs in a clear and deliberate fashion.
Keep working at it- I'm sure your work will continue to improve.

josephrey
02-18-2008, 08:04 PM
hmmm. can we see some of the sketches that led to these pages?