what do girls like?

[Wayne Drake]

there's this cute chick who works near my job. anyway, my opener is "Hi, howya doin'? What's up?" and she's all like "It's boring here.." and I'm all like "oh yeah?" and she's all like "Everyday"......anyway, I was gonna ad-lib something cool but some lackey c-blocked.

Do you like to go for coffee? or what? I dunno how it works. :laugh:














maybe i fear comittment.

[Paul Sanderson]

Asking a girl out for coffee (or being a little shy about it) doesn't mean you fear commitment...getting a little ahead of yourself there, don't you think? I'm sure you'll work the courage up to ask her out.

[FA]

Cock.

[Mwynn]

A nd now a message from A Pimp Named Slick Back. (http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=8a25c392158e4d4401158f57d76a002d)

[linnry]

Make a little more chit chat, and then, yeah, ask her!

If she's anything like me she'll be nice and excited and say 'yeah'.
Do it!

and if she says no, don't worry about it.

...they say it builds character.... :rolleyes:

[Wayne Drake]

you say the whole thing, ya know? Like "A Tribe Called Quest"

[Screeny]

Cock.

Yes...and in addition I would make my opening gambit something like (or alluding to) 'do you like bum sex?' If she drags you into the nearest alley then 'bingo'. If a look of sheer horror and disgust appears on her prissy face then scowl and walk away.....yes, walk away.

[Wayne Drake]

coffee sounds nice an simple. If she ain't interesting then that'll be that.

[linnry]

Yes...and in addition I would make my opening gambit something like (or alluding to) 'do you like bum sex?' If she drags you into the nearest alley then 'bingo'. If a look of sheer horror and disgust appears on her prissy face then scowl and walk away.....yes, walk away.


oh, why stop at walking away, you should spit on her and call her a prude too. :confused:

[Buckyrig]

If anybody had any fucking clue what women want, there wouldn't be any wars!

[Mwynn]

Which is why we will soon have Robots.

http://www.thecrushinators.com/img/crushinator.png

[Screeny]

oh, why stop at walking away, you should spit on her and call her a prude too. :confused:
Good God no! That would be nothing more than ungentlemanly(?) :p and the actions of a bounder!

[Screeny]

Which is why we will soon have Robots.

http://www.thecrushinators.com/img/crushinator.png

I see no lube.

[Imboden]

Cock.

Goddamn it! That's what I was going to write!

:man:

[Mwynn]

http://www.cgbox.com/i12/freelube.jpg

[Buckyrig]

Goddamn it! That's what I was going to write!

:man:

We're saying 'Golden Banana' now. :whistlin:

[Screeny]

Goddamn it! That's what I was going to write!

:man:

your personal preferences have no place here! :p

[Multisync143]

Ask Darkmind to the ladies he is like sugar. He should write a book.

[spider]

Dang, this was thread worthy?
I was expecting her to be a lesbian or you have some moral objection to asking her.

Just ask her, the worst she can do is give you the uber-lame 'I like you as a friend' speech, give you the silent treatment and avoid you for a few months until she gets a new boyfriend and makes sure you see them make out.

[Wayne Drake]

I like your style

[Knuckles]

:laugh: You're funny, Spider.

[Mike225]

Dang, this was thread worthy?
I was expecting her to be a lesbian or you have some moral objection to asking her.

Just ask her, the worst she can do is give you the uber-lame 'I like you as a friend' speech, give you the silent treatment and avoid you for a few months until she gets a new boyfriend and makes sure you see them make out.Uh... :confused:

Have you tried painting a picture with your own blood?

[spider]

I'm barely out of my 20's and I'm a bitter mysogonist, help me. :cry:

[Screeny]

Dang, this was thread worthy?
I was expecting her to be a lesbian or you have some moral objection to asking her.

Just ask her, the worst she can do is give you the uber-lame 'I like you as a friend' speech, give you the silent treatment and avoid you for a few months until she gets a new boyfriend and makes sure you see them make out.

You hear this a lot, don't you? My advice - wear a monocle, kingly robes and a bow tie and your luck will change.

[Buckyrig]

Pull a gun on her in the parking garage.

[spider]

Okay, you want real advice and not an angry rant I hope to God nobody thought I was serious about?

Strike up conversation, find out what makes her tick and try to work it so she is after you, then you ask if she'd like to join you for a drink.

[Wayne Drake]

Good thinking. She always looks like she's sick of the dead end bleakness of work. There is no way this CAN'T go wrong! :har:

[Biofungus]

Didn't we do this thread just a couple of months ago?

I believe it devolved into something involving donkeys...

[Screeny]

...and then count the seconds before she says 'let's be friends', looks at her watch and then sidesteps uncomfortably onto a bus that will take her miles away from wear she lives. :laugh:

[Buckyrig]

Threaten to kill her entire family if she leaves you.

This is even more potent when you've never even been on a date with her.

[Nitecrawlah2]

I could have sworn I saw this very same thread over a month ago :blink: . The exact same one...

[Mike225]

I'm assuming he's already tried the pig heart with a nail through it, Mario.

[Newt]

Remember, never be too solicitous.

If she says, "Do you think you could get me a soda while you're up?", you respond, "How about you get it yourself? The exercise sure wouldn't hurt you. Speaking of which, make sure you get diet; you could stand to lose a few. Oh, and get me one too."

This sort of behavior drives women mad with desire!

[Wayne Drake]

I could have sworn I saw this very same thread over a month ago :blink: . The exact same one...

you're probably right. I'm still working out the kinks on this attempts-at-dating thing. I don't want her to think I'm Stuntman Mike.

[Mike225]

Offer to buy her a fish sandwich.

[Biofungus]

Of course, if she's cheap, there's always the "trail of nickels" method to attracting women...


Wait, that usually only works when you're planning to entrap and imprison them in your dungeon...:yawn:

[Mike225]

Of course, if she's cheap, there's always the "trail of nickels" method to attracting women...


Wait, that usually only works when you're planning to entrap and imprison them in your dungeon...:yawn:When you move, are you going to take basket and the lotion with you?

[FA]

Offer to buy her a fish sandwich.

Uh... was your father a meat burgler? Here's why I ask: because it looks like somebody stole two fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress.

[Biofungus]

When you move, are you going to take basket and the lotion with you?
No. New state = new basket + new lotion

[Screeny]

One must always have a veritable arsenal of psycholical weapons at one's disposal when courting (or attempting to court) the fairer sex. No weapon is as potent as the one labelled 'reverse psychology'. Send a warmer into the butts wth this one and folow it up with the 'apathy' attachment and you'll increase your chances of entering the inner ring.

[Mike225]

I'm not wearing a dress, it's a big shirt.


(Yes, I did get that.)

[Mike225]

No. New state = new basket + new lotionDude, you have no respect for tradition.

[Newt]

Your darts lingo is filthy, Angle. Please continue.

[Screeny]

Ah! - the Mau mau.

[Wayne Drake]

what's a mau mau

[FA]

what's a mau mau

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/images/blog/geoff.jpg

[Biofungus]

One must always have a veritable arsenal of psycholical weapons at one's disposal when courting (or attempting to court) the fairer sex. No weapon is as potent as the one labelled 'reverse psychology'. Send a warmer into the butts wth this one and folow it up with the 'apathy' attachment and you'll increase your chances of entering the inner ring.
Smoke dope, do ya, son?

[DemolitionSamurai]

chicks like dudes with giant beards and giant muscles so work out your beard muscles and grow some sweet beards on your biceps and she'll be all over you

no but seriously girls dont like boys girls like cars and money

[linnry]

:slap:
oh you boys...



There are a lot of these threads....

But there are never the 'what do boys like' threads.
Whys that I wonder...

[FA]

But there are never the 'what do boys like' threads.
Whys that I wonder...


Cock.

[Biofungus]

what's a mau mau
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y9/Biofungus/mao-mao.jpg

[Nitecrawlah2]

Uh... was your father a meat burgler? Here's why I ask: because it looks like somebody stole two fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress.
You are the pimp!

[The DarkMind]

Ask Darkmind to the ladies he is like sugar. He should write a book.

i try to stay out of these things since there is no set formula or magical phrase that will work every time...but....

dont make your attempts overly obvious, that tends to just be creepy and desperate (the latter of which sometimes can score you points with the right girl for at least a night, but not too often)

if her job is boring and she seems bummed out about it, work a playful little joke into the normal conversation. nothing campy, just something to make her smile for a moment. once you start to become a bright point in her day that she looks forward to, then you can move on to asking her out. it would help to also learn her name first ;)

[JAQ]

"What do boys like?"
Cock.Usually their own.

[Wayne Drake]

her name's Ethel...who names their kid Ethel? I Love Lucy fans, that's who

[The Scribe]

Successful businessmen with money. ;)

[Wayne Drake]

"Hey what's up? Do you like to bitch-slap movies on the internet?"

[Multisync143]

Just do this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWj7kjAVL5I&mode=related&search=

Or start sending her anonymous gifts and jokingly take credit for your own gifts, that's as far as I've thought things out. :p

[Mike225]

"Hey what's up? Do you like to bitch-slap movies on the internet?"Leave that part out.

[cbgiles]

make her laugh

[FA]

Usually their own.

I don't know, I suspect I may have turned a few in my time.

I'll PM you their numbers.

[compton]

^sweet

oh and for real advise watch "the tao of steve"

"... be excellent and walk away!"

[linnry]

Cock.

Well, damn.
Then I've got nothing to offer.

Guess I'm gonna have to start raising chickens.

[compton]

you can buy them in stores now

[linnry]

you can buy them in stores now


Cocks or Chickens?

[Mike225]

Yes.

[linnry]

Yes.


....Another thread derailed by dildos.

[Mike225]

I thought dildos were part of the original topic?

[linnry]

I thought dildos were part of the original topic?

Was it now?

I thought it was about talking to women...


*insert woman joke about 'the only way to talk to women is with.... here* :confused:

[Mike225]

Was it now?

I thought it was about talking to women...


*insert woman joke about 'the only way to talk to women is with.... here* :confused:The only way to talk to women is with.... here.

[Nitecrawlah2]

Unfortunately there is no emoticon that would show Mike grabbing his sack when he said "here".

[FA]

Unfortunately? :confused:

[Biofungus]

I thought dildos were part of the original topic?
And where was Bucky while all this was going on?

[Biofungus]

make her laugh
Isn't nudity generally a third date kinda thing?

[Wayne Drake]

"Hey what's up! Boy, that Aids just can't be stopped, WAKKA WAKKA! So, coffee?"

[Paul Sanderson]

Isn't nudity generally a third date kinda thing?

Depends who you're talking to :laugh:

[RandallFlagg]

This is all you have to do:

http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Rob/the-tamest-rape-joke-matt-melvin-has-ever-seen.png

[FA]

Cock.

[The DarkMind]

Isn't nudity generally a third date kinda thing?

not if you know what the hell you're doing

[Biofungus]

Two responses to my post, and the joke went over both people's heads so far... :cry:

[Buckyrig]

What's 2+2=?

[FA]

Four.

[Buckyrig]

:sure:

[FA]

Cock.

[Buckyrig]

Hickory dickory...

[FA]

Penis.

[Buckyrig]

I'm on your case, I'm in your face
Kick you and your father back in place
Step up sucker, understand
Don't you know that

I'm the man! I'm the man!
I'm so bad I should be in detention!
I'm the man!

[Screeny]

Minge.

[spider]

Her name is Ethel? Dang, well I won't judge you.

Her ideal date will probably be going to feed the ducks, then Bingo while you both discuss the good ole days.

[RandallFlagg]

Her name is Ethel? Dang, well I won't judge you.

Her ideal date will probably be going to feed the ducks, then Bingo while you both discuss the good ole days.
http://lwinmoe.friendsofburma.org/imagesDec2006/old_lady.jpg
"Now be a dearie and give me a big old kiss..."

[Biofungus]

I'm on your case, I'm in your face
Kick you and your father back in place
Step up sucker, understand
Don't you know that

I'm the man! I'm the man!
I'm so bad I should be in detention!
I'm the man!
Leave FA and her cock alone...

[The DarkMind]

Two responses to my post, and the joke went over both people's heads so far... :cry:

no i was just being nice and ignoring it :nyah:

[linnry]

Her name is Ethel? Dang, well I won't judge you.

Her ideal date will probably be going to feed the ducks, then Bingo while you both discuss the good ole days.


Actually Holding Hands and Feeding Ducks would be a really fucking adorable date.

...sigh....

[dano]

ahHA! But only if the encounter evolved into that. If someone came up to you and said "do you want to hold hands and feed ducks' you'd propbably tell them to buzz off

[Nitecrawlah2]

http://lwinmoe.friendsofburma.org/imagesDec2006/old_lady.jpg
"Now be a dearie and give me a big old kiss..."
She has THE POWAH!

[captainarian]

ask her to dance with you in the office...while you sing for her.

[captainarian]

http://lwinmoe.friendsofburma.org/imagesDec2006/old_lady.jpg
"Now be a dearie and give me a big old kiss..."


i don't like the drugs but the drugs like meeee! :laugh:

[linnry]

ahHA! But only if the encounter evolved into that. If someone came up to you and said "do you want to hold hands and feed ducks' you'd propbably tell them to buzz off

1. Heck no!
2. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't say 'buzz off' to any boy at this point... well, any not creepy boy.

[wisper]

ask her if she has anything good to smoke...her answer will tell you all you need to know. :laugh:

[Wayne Drake]

if she smokes, she pokes!

sorry...heard that somewheres

[MatthewMonster]

Theres some teribble advice going on here.

Things to avoid.

- Being creepy, not taht you would...but im just saying...were guys...we can be REALLY dumb
- Going to the movies first date, it will be terrible.

I would suggest that you see if shes up for something other then that all time lame move of coffee, No matter where yopu live theres gotat be something odd/ fun to do.

[wisper]

if she smokes, she pokes!

sorry...heard that somewheres


well if she gets upset then that tells you something..if she says ..no, do you then that tells you something..

I dont' do illegal shitz...but I like to know a ladys likes...it reflects on their lifestyle...possible trouble down the road brohter.. :laugh:

[Mike225]

I dont' do illegal shitz...but I like to know a ladys likes...it reflects on their lifestyle...possible trouble down the road brohter.. :laugh:Ay-fucking-men.

[Wayne Drake]

man I feel like Steve Rogers, so out of touch with these effing times. I don't know where to go for the artistic/comic chicks...seems like girls these days only care 'bout iPod an myspace. The artys chicks end up being goth/creepy...which reminds me I should really be aiming "Mummy Boy" at those types...or not.

[wisper]

man I feel like Steve Rogers, so out of touch with these effing times. I don't know where to go for the artistic/comic chicks...seems like girls these days only care 'bout iPod an myspace. The artys chicks end up being goth/creepy...which reminds me I should really be aiming "Mummy Boy" at those types...or not.


dude when my wife left me after 17 years...I just visited all my friends and networked...hooked up with a nice gal on xmas eve 1999..ran with her until the 2000 election...then hooked up networking again with my true love MAry Dark on april fool's day 2003...it was an april fool's party us'in's have every year..NETWORK with good peeps...womenz love a clean man...just do it.
remember to whisper into their ear...that means more then you'll ever believe!

[linnry]

man I feel like Steve Rogers, so out of touch with these effing times. I don't know where to go for the artistic/comic chicks...seems like girls these days only care 'bout iPod an myspace. The artys chicks end up being goth/creepy...which reminds me I should really be aiming "Mummy Boy" at those types...or not.


It seems all the 'arty chicks' i know (other than me, pretty much) are mostly that scenester scum that think they know better and are arrogant about their looks and such.
It's depressing.
Mostly because they are materialistic and suck.
but also because i don't get as much attention from boys as they do....

oh well...

[The DarkMind]

Theres some teribble advice going on here.

not all of its been terrible :man: the good advice has just been overlooked

[captainarian]

for god's sake why are some of u guys so dumb here? you don't have to go out man, just expand your friend ship with her at work then start a relation after you're good friends. :man:

[Mike225]

:laugh:

I think he's wanting to get laid at some point.

[Screeny]

for god's sake why are some of u guys so dumb here? you don't have to go out man, just expand your friend ship with her at work then start a relation after you're good friends. :man:

Read the opening post and you'll see that he doesn't work with her....who's the dummy now, Captain Sensible?

[Buckyrig]

Keep a journal and figure out when she usually uses the ladies room. Then, hide in one of the stalls.


With a carnation.

[Knuckles]

Is that what you do to the whore you kill?

[Screeny]

Keep a journal and figure out when she usually uses the ladies room. Then, hide in one of the stalls.


With a carnation.

Yes, you could stick it through the glory hole.....and if all goes well you could give her the carnation afterwards.

[Buckyrig]

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:


Why do people keep asking for advice here?

[Buckyrig]

Find out who her biggest Hollywood crush is and then get plastic surgery to look like him.

[Wayne Drake]

what do you like better: Equal, or Splenda?

[Phatman]

This thread rocks!

:banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana:

[Buckyrig]

what do you like better: Equal, or Splenda?

Splenda.

But that shit's expensive, so I usually keep cheaper store-brand version of Sweet & Low.

[Wayne Drake]

I'm an equal guy. I liked Splenda for a while, but it wasn't for me. Brand loyalty, ya know

[Buckyrig]

Aspartame tastes like shit. :yuk:

[linnry]

Aspartame tastes like shit. :yuk:
INDEED>

[Mike225]

How does shit taste, again?

[Phatman]

How does shit taste, again?

...like aspartame-pay attention!

[Screeny]

How does shit taste, again?

Hold on.....sort of nutty - with a hint of mahogany :huh:

[Mike225]

My bad, I nodded off for a second.

[DemolitionSamurai]

every girl i've ever met has loved rohypnol

[Mike225]

Hold on.....sort of nutty - with a hint of mahogany :huh:Yeah, but that's the French stuff.

[Screeny]

Yeah, but that's the French stuff.

Well I did scrape it off my car when I was coming back from Calais so oui, c'est merd Francais :cry:

[Lord Fejj]

Uh... was your father a meat burgler? Here's why I ask: because it looks like somebody stole two fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress.
:laugh:

[ShanE]

you: Hi how ya doin?

Her: Bored, everday its the same

you: oh....yeah but your not flat like a board your pretty hot!

Her: *narrows eyes* yeah about as hot as your skin is gonna get as soon as I slam your head onto this machine and grind your face off....

you: oh......NOW that wouldn't be boring would it!?

Her: So you like it rough eh?

you: Um......yeah, kinda, sorta I guess. That depends where we goin with this?

Her: *grabs you by the shirt collar* In the back room right now grinder boy

Take it from here, I think you gotta chance!

[Screeny]

you: Hi how ya doin?

Her: Bored, everday its the same

you: oh....yeah but your not flat like a board your pretty hot!

Her: *narrows eyes* yeah about as hot as your skin is gonna get as soon as I slam your head onto this machine and grind your face off....

you: oh......NOW that wouldn't be boring would it!?

Her: So you like it rough eh?

you: Um......yeah, kinda, sorta I guess. That depends where we goin with this?

Her: *grabs you by the shirt collar* In the back room right now grinder boy

Take it from here, I think you gotta chance!

You've played that scenario out many, many times in your mind, haven't you. :laugh:

[Mike225]

Reminds me of a John Hughes film.

[Scott James]

Shoot her with your tazer and dry hump her into submission.

[Biofungus]

Tazer first. Damn, gotta remember that...

[Wayne Drake]

aw, man. i got a fine in the mail for passing a stop light. I don't even have a license yet, sheeeeeet. I better get on that. The paper didn't state the price, but it varies from an ass-load to a shit-load. What a pisser. I want revenge.

[wisper]

I drove my girl friends car across the cheaspeak bay bridge useing my ez pass and she got a letter saying she did not pay the toll? right!