View Full Version : Very sad loss of a friend...
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jedipencil
10-15-2007, 03:41 PM
Gads. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.......and the title of the thread just...well...frightened me! :laugh:
Buckyrig
10-15-2007, 03:45 PM
Oh for crying out loud. No chicken has ever been named Pete. :yawn:
Toyandgadgetguy
10-15-2007, 03:47 PM
Why do chicks always get you so emotional, Kep!? :nyah:
Oh for crying out loud. No chicken has ever been named Pete.
Sure there was; he was a Plymouth Rock!
Get it?
Scott James
10-15-2007, 03:50 PM
While we're on the topic of tasteless jokes...
What's brown and sticky?
Anal.
Why do chicks always get you so emotional, Kep!? :nyah:
It's a fetish really.
spider
10-15-2007, 05:24 PM
While we're on the topic of tasteless jokes...
What's brown and sticky?
Anal.
What's black and runny?
Linford Christie.
MattWaterman
10-15-2007, 05:27 PM
What's the difference between a midget and something dirty.
One's a cunning runt!!!!
kdmelrose
10-15-2007, 05:33 PM
Uh ...
spider
10-15-2007, 05:37 PM
Incidently a black guy told me that one and also found it hilarious.
kdmelrose
10-15-2007, 05:38 PM
What is this, The Office?
Grant Perkins
10-15-2007, 05:42 PM
What noise does a racist chainsaw make?
*********
Uncalled for.
MattWaterman
10-15-2007, 05:42 PM
(Matt gives the camera the 'Jim Look')
kdmelrose
10-15-2007, 05:51 PM
Apparently not appropiate for the PC crowd
Yes, because the problem couldn't have possibly been with you.
:sure:
spider
10-15-2007, 06:13 PM
It was actually a joke about racism rather than a racist joke, but we're apparently not going to agree here.
kdmelrose
10-15-2007, 06:19 PM
Yeah, there was a complex thread of social commentary running through that "racist chainsaw" gag.
spider
10-15-2007, 06:37 PM
Well then I suggest staying away from black comedians then,
it's no different to the material of the more controversial ones,
why that is 'unacceptable' and jokes about menstral cycles, dead babies and homosexuals is fair game I will never know but thats the last I'm saying on the matter.
kdmelrose
10-15-2007, 06:41 PM
thats the last I'm saying on the matter.
Yay?
...thats the last I'm saying on the matter.
What the hell, I'll cover the spread by five.
ShanE
10-16-2007, 02:49 AM
man Kep, thats such a bad yolk......er joke
AthenaRose
10-16-2007, 03:44 AM
Well then I suggest staying away from black comedians then,
it's no different to the material of the more controversial ones,
why that is 'unacceptable' and jokes about menstral cycles, dead babies and homosexuals is fair game I will never know but thats the last I'm saying on the matter.
Menstrual cycles and homosexuals - largely depends who's telling it. Dead babies aren't funny.
And I may be missing something, but I didn't get the chainsaw one...
Scott James
10-16-2007, 06:50 AM
Well then I suggest staying away from black comedians then,
it's no different to the material of the more controversial ones,
why that is 'unacceptable' and jokes about menstral cycles, dead babies and homosexuals is fair game I will never know but thats the last I'm saying on the matter.Unless you're brave enough to tell that chainsaw joke in Brixton then I think you might want to avoid telling jokes altogether. Comedy is obviously not your forte.
Right.
So these two faggots walk into a bar...
I have NEVER understood the set up to that joke...cigarettes can't walk. Stupid.
Scott James
10-16-2007, 07:06 AM
Q: What's black, white and red all over?
A: A race riot.
Q: What do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A: A genetic aberration that is a debasement of science and an abomination before God.
Q: Why can't you play cards in the forest?
A: Deforestation.
Screeny
10-16-2007, 07:31 AM
I have NEVER understood the set up to that joke...cigarettes can't walk. Stupid.
Ah...you've come across a key point of confusion there. Technically, a 'fag' is the cigarette, whereas a 'faggot' is a rather unsavoury British meatball type thing made from pork offal. Your cultural confusion could leave you 'smoking meaty pork balls' which is good times for Spider, but bad times for Kep! :har:
MattWaterman
10-16-2007, 08:51 AM
I don't mean to laugh, Rose, but this just made my morning...
Dead babies aren't funny.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
It inadvertantly works on so many levels!
Unless you're brave enough to tell that chainsaw joke in Brixton then I think you might want to avoid telling jokes altogether. Comedy is obviously not your forte.
What's a Brixton? Spider should try that one in Memphis. I think it would go over well.
AthenaRose
10-16-2007, 09:43 AM
I don't mean to laugh, Rose, but this just made my morning...
Dead babies aren't funny
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
It inadvertantly works on so many levels!
I'm sooo happy I amuse you :sure:
Screeny
10-16-2007, 10:05 AM
What's a Brixton? Spider should try that one in Memphis. I think it would go over well.
What's a Memphis?
spider
10-16-2007, 10:12 AM
But dead baby jokes aren't funny, they're based on shock value and they've not been shocking for years.
Paraplegic people being thrown downstairs and old people falling over, now thats funny, not PC but funny.
What's a Memphis?
The home of rock'n'roll, Beale Street, and the world's best barbecue! It's also got a pyramid. You know, like that other Memphis.
Plus if you're out alone at night you'll probably get stabbed. Which is why the song 'Walking in Memphis' should not be taken at face value.
But seriously, what's a Brixton? It sounds like a breed of terrier.
Knuckles
10-16-2007, 11:02 AM
The home of rock'n'roll, Beale Street, and the world's best barbecue! It's also got a pyramid. You know, like that other Memphis.
Plus if you're out alone at night you'll probably get stabbed. Which is why the song 'Walking in Memphis' should not be taken at face value.
But seriously, what's a Brixton? It sounds like a breed of terrier.
Are you really that slow Newt?
He said you should try that in Brixton.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brixton
I know what he said and what he meant, I just refuse to believe that Spider would get more than a "Cor! You shuddup, now!" in any place in England.
MattWaterman
10-16-2007, 11:13 AM
And then they'd sit down for the tea.
But ya get no scones, ya racist git!
spider
10-16-2007, 11:18 AM
Perhaps you should come to England sometime, in terms of crime and violence it is like some states in the U.S.
Also no you wouldn't say it in front of someone you don't know, how would they know you're joking around?
MattWaterman
10-16-2007, 11:19 AM
What is this "it" you are referring to...?
:laugh: :p :whistlin:
Ah...you've come across a key point of confusion there. Technically, a 'fag' is the cigarette, whereas a 'faggot' is a rather unsavoury British meatball type thing made from pork offal. Your cultural confusion could leave you 'smoking meaty pork balls' which is good times for Spider, but bad times for Kep! :har:
AH HA! And now I know why I never got it! It makes PERFECT sense when talking about a shit meatball walking into a bar. Thank you!!!
Perhaps you should come to England sometime, in terms of crime and violence it is like some states in the U.S.
Also no you wouldn't say it in front of someone you don't know, how would they know you're joking around?
Are you referring to Rhode Island?
Are you referring to Rhode Island?
Does anyone?
If I must refer to it at all, I prefer to refer to it as 'Roodt Eyelandt'. Makes it sound interesting.
AthenaRose
10-16-2007, 11:25 AM
I know what he said and what he meant, I just refuse to believe that Spider would get more than a "Cor! You shuddup, now!" in any place in England.
:blink: :blink:
spider
10-16-2007, 11:27 AM
The more offended you are by a joke the more power you give to it, some people may be outrageously offended by the white jokes featured in Nick Cannons Shorts curcuitz or The Dave Chappelle show or even the dreaded golliwogs but you have my word I wouldn't care if someone made a white trash doll tomorrow.
wisper
10-16-2007, 12:16 PM
A Cowboy meets an Indian herding sheep in the Oklahoma hills.
Cowboy: "Nice dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?"
Indian: "Dog no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doin' all right."
Indian: (Look of shock!)
Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" (pointing at the Indian)
Dog: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Indian: (Look of total disbelief)
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Indian: "Horse no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Indian: (Extreme look of shock!)
Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" (pointing to the Indian)
Horse: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How's he treating you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often, and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the weather."
Indian: (Look of total amazement)
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Indian: "Sheep lie."
MattWaterman
10-16-2007, 12:25 PM
:man:
That kind of humor has no place here, wisper. I await your apology...
Buckyrig
10-16-2007, 12:41 PM
I'm a whiny bitch.
spider
10-16-2007, 12:52 PM
What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane?
Snow.
What do you call a bunch of white guys in a circle?
A Dope Ring!
A Cowboy meets an Indian herding sheep in the Oklahoma hills.
Cowboy: "Nice dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?"
Indian: "Dog no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doin' all right."
Indian: (Look of shock!)
Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" (pointing at the Indian)
Dog: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Indian: (Look of total disbelief)
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Indian: "Horse no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Indian: (Extreme look of shock!)
Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" (pointing to the Indian)
Horse: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How's he treating you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often, and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the weather."
Indian: (Look of total amazement)
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Indian: "Sheep lie."
Yes! A new sheep joke to refine. I love it.
What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane?
Snow.
What do you call a bunch of white guys in a circle?
A Dope Ring!
I think I just covered the spread.
I find it amazing that you even type unfunny.
Scott James
10-16-2007, 01:45 PM
Yes! A new sheep joke to refine. I love it.I second that. That was funny. Spider, take note!
spider
10-16-2007, 02:18 PM
My jokes are funny under the influence of alcohol, thats how I hear most of them...
Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day.
The first one says, "My Daddy is so cool he can eat four Burgers at one meal."
The second one says, "That's nothing. My Daddy can eat six."
Little Jonny starts laughing and says, "My Daddy can eat light bulbs."
The other two boys tell Jonny that he is out of his mind. They ask him why he thinks His daddy can eat light bulbs.
Little Jonny replies, "Last night I was passing my parents room and my Daddy said, 'Honey, turn out that light I want to eat that thing.'"
I even put it in a funky color to make it funnier...
Mike225
10-16-2007, 02:20 PM
I even put it in a funky color to make it funnier... :cry:
spider
10-16-2007, 02:21 PM
Little Johnny and his father were walking down the street one day, and two ladies bumped into one another in front of them.
The one lady looked at the other and slapped her across the face. "You bitch," yelled the one lady.
Stunned, the lady that was slapped yelled out, "You bag."
Little Johnny, never heard those words before, turns to his dad. "Dad, what are bags and bitches?"
"Oh, that's just another name for women," replied his dad.
"Oh, okay," said Johnny.
The two make it home and Little Johnny follows his dad up to the washroom to watch his daddy shave.
While shaving, Little Johnny's dad cuts himself. "Oh shit," he said.
"Daddy, what's shit?" asked Little Johnny.
"Oh, that's just another name for shaving your self," replied his father.
Bored, Little Johnny wanders downstairs to find his mother cooking a turkey. As his mother reached into the oven, she burnt her hand. "Fuck!" she yells.
"Mom, what's fuck?" questionned Johnny.
"That's just another word for cooking the turkey."
"Oh, I get it," said Johnny.
All of a sudden, the doorbell rings. "I'll get it!" yells Johnny as he runs to the door. He then opened the door to find a group of old ladies standing outside.
"Hello young man. Are you parents home?" asked the front lady.
"Hello bags and bitches. My dad's upstairs shitting himself and my mom's downstairs fucking the turkey."
Mike225
10-16-2007, 02:23 PM
I have a bad feeling about this..
MattWaterman
10-16-2007, 02:23 PM
I even put it in a funky color to make it funnier...
:cry:
I am loving the fact that that made Mike sad...
:laugh:
Little Johnny and his father were walking down the street one day, and two ladies bumped into one another in front of them.
The one lady looked at the other and slapped her across the face. "You bitch," yelled the one lady.
Stunned, the lady that was slapped yelled out, "You bag."
Little Johnny, never heard those words before, turns to his dad. "Dad, what are bags and bitches?"
"Oh, that's just another name for women," replied his dad.
"Oh, okay," said Johnny.
The two make it home and Little Johnny follows his dad up to the washroom to watch his daddy shave.
While shaving, Little Johnny's dad cuts himself. "Oh shit," he said.
"Daddy, what's shit?" asked Little Johnny.
"Oh, that's just another name for shaving your self," replied his father.
Bored, Little Johnny wanders downstairs to find his mother cooking a turkey. As his mother reached into the oven, she burnt her hand. "Fuck!" she yells.
"Mom, what's fuck?" questionned Johnny.
"That's just another word for cooking the turkey."
"Oh, I get it," said Johnny.
All of a sudden, the doorbell rings. "I'll get it!" yells Johnny as he runs to the door. He then opened the door to find a group of old ladies standing outside.
"Hello young man. Are you parents home?" asked the front lady.
"Hello bags and bitches. My dad's upstairs shitting himself and my mom's downstairs fucking the turkey."
Look mom, i have google too! (http://64.233.169.104/search?q=cache:zePye3ETVOUJ:vn.kaist.ac.kr/export.php%3Ft%3D822%26sid%3D494a2df12b48a1e8fdca8 ae0e7bfb752+%22Bored,+Little+Johnny+wanders+downst airs+to+find+his+mother+cooking+a+turkey.+As+his+m other+reached+into+the+oven,+she+burnt+her+hand.+% 22Fuck!%22+she+yells.%22&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us&client=firefox-a)
Screeny
10-16-2007, 02:38 PM
What's orange & floats through the sky?
A hot air baboon
What's yellow & swings through the jungle?
Tarzipan
Thankyou, thankyou....I'll be here all week!. Last one to leave, please turn out the lights.
Last one to leave, please turn out the lights.
Clik!
Biofungus
10-16-2007, 10:48 PM
Clik!
What the...? I can't see...
*WHAM!* *thud*
Ow...
You're a prick, Kep :man:
:p
What the...? I can't see...
*WHAM!* *thud*
Ow...
You're a prick, Kep :man:
:p
Six years we've known each other and you're just NOW figuring that out?
spider
10-17-2007, 11:31 AM
Look mom, i have google too! (http://64.233.169.104/search?q=cache:zePye3ETVOUJ:vn.kaist.ac.kr/export.php%3Ft%3D822%26sid%3D494a2df12b48a1e8fdca8 ae0e7bfb752+%22Bored,+Little+Johnny+wanders+downst airs+to+find+his+mother+cooking+a+turkey.+As+his+m other+reached+into+the+oven,+she+burnt+her+hand.+% 22Fuck!%22+she+yells.%22&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=1&gl=us&client=firefox-a)
I still have the biggest feet.
I still have the biggest feet.
Jazz Hands!
Biofungus
10-17-2007, 09:03 PM
Six years we've known each other and you're just NOW figuring that out?
I have short term memory problems. Way to point out my problems in public :cry:
You prick.
:p
Biofungus
10-17-2007, 09:04 PM
I still have the biggest feet.
Well, you know what they say:
"Big feet, big SHUT THE HELL UP!"
:p
wisper
10-18-2007, 01:01 PM
:man:
That kind of humor has no place here, wisper. I await your apology...
dude...I have native American in me...Yo! and sheep do lie! :laugh:
dude...I have native American in me...Yo! and sheep do lie! :laugh:
Yes, but when he's done, he won't be there anymore, will he?
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