When Will Mike Read American Gods?

[Buckyrig]

Any guesses?

[Mike225]

I'd say not today. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

[Newt]

Right after Ron Paul is inaugurated.

[Mike225]

Is this a good time to mention that I can't read?

[Mike225]

John, you ass!

[Newt]

You type pretty well. Do you have one of those voice-transcriber programs?

[Mike225]

I'd respond to you, but the only word I can read is "well." :(

[secondrater]

don't you make your son do all your typing for you mike? :laugh:

[Mike225]

Good idea!

[Ron Phillips]

Shadow had done three years in prison. He was big enough and looked don't-fuck-with-me enough that his biggest problem was killing time. So he kept himself in shape, and tought himself coin tricks, and thought a lot how much he loved his wife.

The best thing -- in Shadow's opinion, perhaps the only good thing -- about being in prison was a feeling of relief. The feeling that he'd plunged as low as he could plunge and he'd hit bottom. He didn't worry that the man was going to get him, because the man had got him. He was no longer scared of what tomorrow might bring, because yesterday had brought it.

It did not matter, Shadow decided, if you had done what you had been convicted of or not. In his experience everyone he met in prison was aggrieved about something; there was always something the authorities had got wrong, something they said you did when you didn't -- or you didn't do quite like they said you did. What was important was that they had gotten you.

He had noticed it in the first few days, when everything, from the slang to the bad food, was new. Despite the misery and the utter skin-crawling horror of incarceration, he was breathing relief.

Shadow tried not to talk too much. Somewhere around the middle of year two he mentioned his theory to Low Key Lyesmith, his cellmate.

----

OK, that's the better part of page one ... now read the rest.

[Scott James]

Brian Fantana: No, she gets a special cologne... It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.
Ron Burgundy: It's quite pungent.
Brian Fantana: Oh yeah.
Ron Burgundy: It's a formidable scent... It stings the nostrils. In a good way.
Brian Fantana: Yep.
Ron Burgundy: Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
Brian Fantana: They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time.
Ron Burgundy: That doesn't make sense.

[Scaleyinx]

Any guesses?


He's waiting for a big Meteor to hit him, hoping to gain the super-power to absorb and master information of any book for a limited time? :huh:

[Mike225]

Did Ramona just make a reference to Meteor Man? :eek:

[kdmelrose]

He's waiting for a big Meteor to hit him, hoping to gain the super-power to absorb and master information of any book for a limited time? :huh:

He may master bait, but not information.

[Scaleyinx]

Did Ramona just make a reference to Meteor Man? :eek:


What? :blink:

I, ...I'm not allowed to have a geek moment?

[Scaleyinx]

He may master bait, but not information.


I'll have you know, I read that twice and my first thought was ever so innocence imagining him fishing with his son, ....and then I went.....NOOOOOO!!!
How dare you Kevin, for giving me that visual! :slap:

[omega sentry]

Any guesses?


Wehn it raeds leik tihs csaue tehn it wlil be fun. So smoe one has to rewrtie teh wlhoe tihng and taht cuold tkae a lvie tmie.

:rolleyes:

[Ron Phillips]

Wehn it raeds leik tihs csaue tehn it wlil be fun. So smoe one has to rewrtie teh wlhoe tihng and taht cuold tkae a lvie tmie.

:rolleyes:

You misspelled lfie.

[omega sentry]

You misspelled lfie.


:eek: ym dab

[Mike225]

Wow. Maybe I really can't read. :(

[Buckyrig]

Wow. Maybe I really can't read. :(

Dude, it's awesome. Chicks love helping out a guy who can't read. They get to feel really smart. :thumbs:

[Mike225]

Dude, it's awesome. Chicks love helping out a guy who can't read. They get to feel really smart. :thumbs:Can some chick help me understand what he's saying?

[Buckyrig]

So, have you read it yet?

[Mike225]

I'm glad you asked: no, I haven't.

[Biofungus]

Have you read it now?

[Mike225]

No.

[Lord Fejj]

How about now?

[Mike225]

I'll start a countdown in my sig. The number will be different for each day that I have not read it.

[Buckyrig]

Mike, just go ahead and put this in your sig.

http://www.languagemonitor.com/images/infinity_symbol1.jpg

[Mike225]

It don't work! Now I have to start over! Asshole!

[Mike225]

There.

[Screeny]

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞ ∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞ ∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞ ∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

[Mike225]

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞ ∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞ ∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞ ∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞That's a mighty long time to wait.

[Mike225]

Okay, who's the smartass that voted here?

[Screeny]

It wasn't me - I can't see!

[Mike225]

I was trying to avoid looking at you so I wouldn't have to talk about it.

[Screeny]

Don't be frightened. Just close your eyes and think of your 'happy place'.

[Buckyrig]

You know, Mike, if you'd just read this damn book, then Archie The Pig Man wouldn't have made Dumbledore gay and cause Marvel to suck while Greg Land traces beautiful and even emotionally affecting porn!

:slap:

[Mike225]

I've seen no evidence of Greg Land tracing porn. Show me this evidence.

[Nick Kerklaan]

Greg Land only traces wanking material.

[Phatman]

I've seen no evidence of Greg Land tracing porn. Show me this evidence.

Don't make me!

[MattWaterman]

Dude, it's awesome. Chicks love helping out a guy who can't read. They get to feel really smart. :thumbs:

YEah, and get a dog too. Chicks love guys who who walk their dogs in the park!!!

:thumbs:

[Buckyrig]

Don't make me!

I can't find that thread...go ahead and post it...it's hilarious.

[Mike225]

And you'll have to post the picture he traced for comparison.

[Buckyrig]

And you'll have to post the picture he traced for comparison.

Can we also post that pic Morganza posted of Wonder Woman blowing a demon? :laugh:

[MattWaterman]

Tentacles?

[Biofungus]

Orutsukidoji, Legend of Overfiend?

[Buckyrig]

How's this coming, Mike?

[Mike225]

I've done a lot of stuff, but I have not read American Gods.

[Mike225]

Quit digging this thread up! Everytime it gets bumped, another person votes for "Can Mike even read?"

[Toyandgadgetguy]

Can you? :nyah:

[Fred Duran]

We're still talking about this?

[Mike225]

Can you? :nyah:I'd answer but I don't know what you asked me.

[Buckyrig]

Phatman was supposed to post porn. :man:

[Nitecrawlah2]

Quit digging this thread up! Everytime it gets bumped, another person votes for "Can Mike even read?"
http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:OVNYiQZV24O9DM:http://www.damnimcute.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/seacrest.jpg

Keep those votes coming in, folks!

[Biofungus]

I'd answer but I don't know what you asked me.
Your reading software on the fritz again?

[Mike225]

http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:OVNYiQZV24O9DM:http://www.damnimcute.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/seacrest.jpg

Keep those votes coming in, folks! :laugh:

[Mike225]

Your reading software on the fritz again?What'd you just say to me?! It's CLOBBERIN TIME!

[Buckyrig]

Quit digging this thread up! Everytime it gets bumped, another person votes for "Can Mike even read?"

:laugh:

[Mike225]

You jerk.

[Calloway]

too bad Mike is slightly retarded and illiterate because American Gods is a great book.

[Newt]

Geez Mike, just claim you read the book. Lying is often the best policy.

Oh, by the way, did you notice that there's a Mike63 on DW now? Looks like you missed one!

[Mike225]

too bad Mike is slightly retarded and illiterate because American Gods is a great book.Hey, it's great to see you back!


Psych.

[Mike225]

Geez Mike, just claim you read the book. Lying is often the best policy.

Oh, by the way, did you notice that there's a Mike63 on DW now? Looks like you missed one!I can't lie! What if someone asks me a question about it?

[kdmelrose]

I can't lie! What if someone asks me a question about it?

Just make vague comments about it being rubbish, followed by remarks that begin with, "As I've always said ..."

[Newt]

I can't lie! What if someone asks me a question about it?

The conversation should go like this:

SomeGoober12: So, Mike, what did you think about Gaiman's conflation of modern non-personified values with ancient personality-based deities?

Mike225: Go fuck yourself with a drywall saw, shitsack!

SomeGoober12: I'm sorry!

[Nitecrawlah2]

Oh, by the way, did you notice that there's a Mike63 on DW now? Looks like you missed one!
Shit, he's come back to kill us all!



















Oh, just Mike? Ah well.

[Calloway]

Hey, it's great to see you back!


Psych.

In this context the word is sike. Slang if you will. Not a real word. They do offer remedial reading for free at many adult education centers.

Seriously though, why not read it? Need a copy? I'll give you mine. If you want it PM your address.

[Mike225]

In this context the word is sike. Slang if you will. Not a real word. They do offer remedial reading for free at many adult education centers.

Seriously though, why not read it? Need a copy? I'll give you mine. If you want it PM your address.I have 2 copies, I just have a lot of other stuff to work on/read before I get to it.

[Buckyrig]

I have 2 copies, I just have a lot of other stuff to work on/read before I get to it.

http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/I/51CDXTYQQYL.jpg

?

[Mike225]

No, I've already read that. It was instrumental in the creation of Figment.

[Knuckles]

Oh, by the way, did you notice that there's a Mike63 on DW now? Looks like you missed one!

That's not good. Good Luck Mike.


Mike64 should have done a better job on that one.

[Mike225]

The Street Dunkah's got skills!

[Toyandgadgetguy]

In the end... there can be... only ONE!

[ponyrl]

.... ....... ...... .........

............. ... ........ ...... .......

... ... ... . .... ..... ... ... .... ..... ...
.. . .. . . . . .. ... .. .. .. ... ... .. ...
....... ......... ......... ........... ........

........... ......... ............... ........
.... ... . . . . . . . . . . . .. .. .. .

.. . .. .. .. ... ... .. .. . .. . .. . .. .

American Gods, in brail. Now Feel the screen, you should be able to read it now.

:laugh:

[Biofungus]

.... ....... ...... .........

............. ... ........ ...... .......

... ... ... . .... ..... ... ... .... ..... ...
.. . .. . . . . .. ... .. .. .. ... ... .. ...
....... ......... ......... ........... ........

........... ......... ............... ........
.... ... . . . . . . . . . . . .. .. .. .

.. . .. .. .. ... ... .. .. . .. . .. . .. .

American Gods, in brail. Now Feel the screen, you should be able to read it now.

:laugh:
Ewww! I think Mike felt too far! I feel violated now :cry:

[Nitecrawlah2]

Hit the library. Books on CD are awesome. I'm listening to a King book right now.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is great.
Tess Gerristen novels are fun to listen too so far.

The Gaiman books, especially American Gods.

I'll have to think of some more.
Mike!!!!!!

[Biofungus]

Mike!!!!!!
The guy can't even read, and you expect him to be able to operate a cd player? Geez man...

[Mike225]

Stop voting! :mad:

[Nitecrawlah2]

Well, I hope you're playing Track 3 of American Gods right now :sure: .

[Mike225]

Well, I hope you're playing Track 3 of American Gods right now :sure: .No, Track 3 is Song No. 2 by Blur.

[Scaleyinx]

Stop voting! :mad:


:nyah:

[Mike225]

:eek:

Et tu, Ramona?

[Scaleyinx]

:eek:

Et tu, Ramona?


:laugh:

Sorry, I forgot to vote weeks ago, so you got it today.

[Mike225]

You've made an enemy today. :man:

[Scaleyinx]

Don't blame me. Blame Bucky.

He paid me in Crunch Berries.

You offered me nothing. Not even a fried onion ring. :sure:

[Mike225]

But what about all the times we shared at In-N-Out Burger?! :cry:

[Scaleyinx]

But what about all the times we shared at In-N-Out Burger?! :cry:


Come on! You can't count those. Your "let me take a taste of your burger" always meant 3/4 of my burger would be GONE in one bite!

[Mike225]

The least you could do was share after staring at the menu for 10 minutes before ordering the same thing everyone else did!

[Scaleyinx]

10 mins? -- ....SO!!!!



But, sharing doesn't mean you get to be an oinker. You always ate most of my burger. :cry:

And I'm still sore about it... :man:

[Mike225]

I never meant to cause you any sorrow..

..I never meant to cause you any pain..

[Scaleyinx]

Well, since you put it that way - I accept your apology. Unfortunately though, you're a little too late, as my vote has already been done. I can't take it back. It shall forever be there, adding to the scale that will one day force you closer to your destiny. :har:

But, good luck to you, in your fight against it. :)

[Mike225]

As a startling development, my wife has begun reading American Gods.

[Biofungus]

As a startling development, my wife has begun reading American Gods.
Thank God one of you can read.

[Mike225]

She loves me for my body.

[Nitecrawlah2]

She loves me for my body.
Don't we all ;) .

YSSFA!

[Buckyrig]

Orange bowling ball.

[Newt]

You're tacky.

[Buckyrig]

I'm from New York!

[Newt]

Tacky and rude?

[Toyandgadgetguy]

Don't let him fool you. The tacky part comes from Vegas living.

[Buckyrig]

People from New York aren't rude, we just have shit to do and everyone else is way too much with the moseying.

[Newt]

You have tacky shit to do?

[Buckyrig]

I ain't fucking trees.

[Buckyrig]

Any update there, Mike?

[Calloway]

no, like this:

"arise chicken arise"

http://www.upflicks.com/thumbs/athf_billy_witch_doctor.jpg

[Mike225]

Any update there, Mike?My wife has finished American Gods, saying she was underwhelmed by the ending. I didn't ask why. 10 minutes ago, I started reading Stardust.

[Calloway]

Damn You! Just Read It! Argh!

[Mike225]

Read what? I'm reading Stardust, you tool!

[Calloway]

American freaking GODS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Nick Kerklaan]

Mike, I think you should read "Sandman" next. I hear it even has pictures.

[Mike225]

I've read 4 or 5 Sandman trades.

[MattWaterman]

Don't let him fool you. The tacky part comes from Vegas living.

You say 'Las Vegas'; I say 'Da Iyland'... :whistlin: :nyah:


Good luck, Mike!!! You can do it!!!

[Buckyrig]

The public demands proof Mr. 225!

If that is, in fact, your real name.

[Mike225]

There's a thread started by LGM. That should be all the proof you need.

[Buckyrig]

:laugh:

People are voting.

[Toyandgadgetguy]

You say 'Las Vegas'; I say 'Da Iyland'... :whistlin: :nyah:


Good luck, Mike!!! You can do it!!!

Dude. Plastic. Pink. Flamingos.

[Mike225]

:laugh:

People are voting.You know people vote for "Can Mike even read?" everytime this thread is bumped.

[Buckyrig]

You know people vote for "Can Mike even read?" everytime this thread is bumped.

Blame Melrose. He's the one who put it up there.

[MattWaterman]

I am hooman and want to be luved!!!