Do you have what it takes to become a citizen?

[Mwynn]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13442226/

http://stardestroyer.net/Mike/Movies/StarshipTroopers.jpg

[Mike225]

You answered 75% of questions correctly. Here's your rating:

65-80%: Hey, you may make a good citizen yet! Look at your wrong answers and a little revision should do the trick.

[kdmelrose]

I got 95% correct (all but the name of the INS form).

[Mike225]

Well, you're supposed to do better than everyone else. Although, I did get that one right.

[jakebilbao]

8 mistakes.

[rummblestrips]

I only answered 40% correctly.

[Newt]

I made it! I'm an American now!

The only one I got wrong was the INS naturalization form question, and really, why would I know that? The American history questions were pretty silly. Does it really matter who said, "Give me liberty or give me death" or on what date the Constitution was ratified? Some more substantive questions would be nice. For example:

Which nearby nation has the United States not invaded or occupied:

A. Canada

B. Mexico

C. Cuba

D. Russia

E. Granada

Answer: it's a trick question! We've invaded and/or occupied all those countries!

[kdmelrose]

When did the U.S. invade or occupy Russia? Are you talking about Alaska?

[Newt]

No, we launched a pitiful little invasion of the newly-formed USSR in 1918. It was partly to stave off possible German advancement, partly to try to weaken the communist regime. We didn't really follow through, despite Churchill's urging, but we had troops in Vladivostok (Russia's main Pacific port) until 1920.

[FA]

85-100%: Welcome to the United States! (And, truth be told, you know more about this great land than most Americans.)

:D

You might find the questions in the british one amusing:

Try it (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4099770.stm)

EDIT: Here's the actual practice questions (http://www.lifeintheuktest.gov.uk/htmlsite/self_10.html)

[Newt]

Crap! I only got four right on the British test. Stupid Britain. What's so great about it anyways?

[Mike225]

85-100%: Welcome to the United States! (And, truth be told, you know more about this great land than most Americans.)

:D

You might find the questions in the british one amusing:

Try it (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4099770.stm)

EDIT: Here's the actual practice questions (http://www.lifeintheuktest.gov.uk/htmlsite/self_10.html)You got 3 right!
0-5: Seat in Heathrow arrivals....


But it wasn't my fault! It was in a different language!

[kdmelrose]

I got seven right on the British test.

[Buckyrig]

85-100%: Welcome to the United States! (And, truth be told, you know more about this great land than most Americans.)

This is scary.

I only blew the form question (even if I got it right, it would have been a guess) and the Ammendment #. Sorry, I don't have 'em all memorized. :rolleyes:

[FA]

I got 8/14 on the british test :laugh:

[Phatman]

This is scary.

I only blew the form question (even if I got it right, it would have been a guess) and the Ammendment #. Sorry, I don't have 'em all memorized. :rolleyes:

I missed the same ones. How the hell am I supposed to know that form's number?

[Newt]

I got 8/14 on the british test :laugh:

You can't go back! You're all American now!

[Buckyrig]

I got 8/14 on the british test :laugh:

Was that serious? It seemed to be a little bit "in fun". :huh:

[FA]

Was that serious? It seemed to be a little bit "in fun". :huh:

It was made up questions based on the stuff they tell you in the handbook. So the test isn't really that bad, but then they think that stuff is important enough to put in a book. I linked to the actual practice questions in my edit. They're pretty bizarre but in a different way.

[Screeny]

What muppet prioritised PG as Parental Guidance over PG Tips for fuck's sake?....and god forbid that you'd ever consider finding out if a lawyer was qualified before asking how much they charge. Those question are fucking puerile and inane...still, as long as you know the 'etiquette' for spilling a drink then at least you can save yourself from having your face punched in on a regular basis for being a 'clumsy foreign bastard' :w00t: Whoever put that test together needs to be skull-fucked with a hot poker.

'When you skull-fuck someone with a hot poker do you:

a. Ask him if he would find awfully if you thrust a glowing piece of metal into his ocular cavity

b. allow him to finish his tea before ramming home

c. offer to run them down to the hospital after the deed is done.

[JAQ]

I got 95% correct (all but the name of the INS form).Same here. That one's presumably a "gimme" for anyone actually applying for citizenship, but the opposite for the rest of us.

[FA]

Quick, someone find the citizenship test for north korea. Lets see how we all do on that one.

:w00t:

[Mike225]

It says "application" in the name of the form. :slap:

[Newt]

Found it.

1. Are you currently a loyal citizen of the People's Democratic Republic of Korea?

A. Yes.

B. Shoot me now.

[Screeny]

Quick, someone find the citizenship test for north korea. Lets see how we all do on that one.

:w00t:

:laugh:

Q1: Someone gives you a dog for your birthday - what do you do?

1. Go out and buy a collar, lead and personalised food bowl.

2. Build a kennel

3. Put the oven on.

[Newt]

:laugh:

Q1: Someone gives you a dog for your birthday - what do you do?

1. Go out and buy a collar, lead and personalised food bowl.

2. Build a kennel

3. Put the oven on.


Lead? You're going to feed your puppy lead? Sounds like poor animal husbandry to me, but to be sure let's ask resident doggist, Mr. Jake Bilbao.

Jake?

[FA]

I'm relentlessly amused by the phrase "animal husbandry"

The mental image of jake bilbao participating in animal husbandry? Not so much.

[Jon Dahl]

85-100%: Welcome to the United States! (And, truth be told, you know more about this great land than most Americans.)

Woot, I R smert! :w00t:

[Screeny]

Pubic Husbandry is far more palatable.

[JamieRoberts]

Yikes.

40% on the US test, 5/14 on the Brit test.

I hope I'm not a closet Frenchman.

[Mike225]

I'm sure Screeny can make a test for that. Him being French and all.

[Screeny]

I'm sure Screeny can make a test for that. Him being French and all.

Mon dieu!

[Knuckles]

me am smart.

You answered 90% of questions correctly. Here's your rating

85-100%: Welcome to the United States! (And, truth be told, you know more about this great land than most Americans.)

[Biofungus]

I got this too. But I wonder if "revision" is actually a code word for "brainwashing"... hmmm...

[Lord Fejj]

75% :p

[DemolitionSamurai]

I got 85%. I missed the question about which form to fill out because, well, I've never had much need to fill it out before. I missed the Supreme Court nominee question because I knew that the president selects the justices and they had to meet Senate approval, but I wasn't sure what they meant when asking who actually selects the justices and took a 50/50 bet on the Senate. The last one was pure blunder though, because I honestly thought the presidentent could authorize war since Congress hasn't actually declared war since World War II.

[theflash]

95% here. i'm an idiot. i totally failed to read all the way through on the question about declaring war. argh!!! bonehead. but not bad. but then i should know that shit!

[jakebilbao]

Lead? You're going to feed your puppy lead? Sounds like poor animal husbandry to me, but to be sure let's ask resident doggist, Mr. Jake Bilbao.

Jake?
lead or leash, i think it could be considered the same. yeah i've seen books refer to a leash as a lead. :)

[The DarkMind]

"You know absolutely nothing about the country in which you live and likely arrived here by tunneling under a fence or washing up on shore on the remains of a damaged make shift boat. After you are deported, be sure to freshen up on the history of America before making your next attempt at getting into the country. You will also assimilate into the population more if you learn to speak American English fluently and being able to do so will make you the prime candidate among available laborers down behind the Home Depot parking lot. Good luck!"

im an illegal alien~!! :bounce: :bounce:

what? :huh: that wasnt a rank on the list?











actually i got everything right but the ones involving years things were done. :laugh:

[Spacious Interior]

I rocked out 100%. :banana:

... but then again, I'm an Eagle Scout. I'm supposed to know this crap. This isn't actually the test is it? :blink:

[Newt]

Those were selected as some of the most difficult potential questions. I'd like to see the easy ones.

[Knuckles]

What's your name.

[Newt]

Who's your daddy?

[Mike225]

Is he rich like me?

[Buckyrig]

Those were selected as some of the most difficult potential questions. I'd like to see the easy ones.

The exam is not for people who grew up here though.

I doubt your average non-American would key in on any dates involving the inception of the USA except for 1776. I could see the Constitution adoption question getting quite a few people for example.

When FA posted some questions about historical dates...several people stated that WWII started in 1941. ;)

[Newt]

Yes, but they were selected as difficult questions by American journalists for presentation to an American audience; in other words, they were questions the journalists felt their audience might not know the answers to. I suspect the 'easy' questions that the journalists passed over had to do with knowledge of the English language, American monetary system, etc.

[Buckyrig]

American monetary system, etc.

If you can understand sodomy, you can understand our monetary system. What's the big deal?

[The DarkMind]

If you can understand sodomy, you can understand our monetary system. What's the big deal?

not everyone has such extensive knowledge on the subject of sodomy as you do :laugh:

[Buckyrig]

"Life is a series of blow jobs." - Bob Odenkirk

[Newt]

You seem to be a little itchy this morning, Buck. Why don't you drive to the next town over and get you a legal hooker on your lunch break?

[Buckyrig]

I can't make it to Pahrump and back in that time, dumbass!

[FA]

Those were selected as some of the most difficult potential questions. I'd like to see the easy ones.

Use google, genius.

Current USCIS Test Questions
(Click on the question to see the answer.)

1. What are the colors of our flag?

2. How many stars are there in our flag?

3. What color are the stars on our flag?

4. What do the stars on the flag mean?

5. How many stripes are there in the flag?

6. What color are the stripes?

7. What do the stripes on the flag mean?

8. How many states are there in the Union?

9. What is the 4th of July?

10. What is the date of Independence Day?

11. Independence from whom?

12. What country did we fight during the Revolutionary War?

13. Who was the first President of the United States?

14. Who is the President of the United States today?

15. Who is the vice-president of the United States today?

16. Who elects the President of the United States?

17. Who becomes President of the United States if the President should die?

18. For how long do we elect the President?

19. What is the Constitution?

20. Can the Constitution be changed?

21. What do we call a change to the Constitution?

22. How many changes or amendments are there to the Constitution?

23. How many branches are there in our government?

24. What are the three branches of our government?

25. What is the legislative branch of our government?

26. Who makes the laws in the United States?

27. What is the Congress?

28. What are the duties of Congress?

29. Who elects the Congress?

30. How many senators are there in Congress?

31. Can you name the two senators from your state?

32. For how long do we elect each senator?

33. How many representatives are there in Congress?

34. For how long do we elect the representatives?

35. What is the executive branch of our government?

36. What is the judiciary branch of our government?

37. What are the duties of the Supreme Court?

38. What is the supreme court law of the United States?

39. What is the Bill of Rights?

40. What is the capital of your state?

41. Who is the current governor of your state?

42. Who becomes President of the United States if the President and the vice-president should die?

43. Who is the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court?

44. Can you name thirteen original states?

45. Who said, "Give me liberty or give me death."?

46. Which countries were our enemies during World War II?

47. What are the 49th and 50th states of the Union?

48. How many terms can the President serve?

49. Who was Martin Luther King, Jr.?

50. Who is the head of your local government?

51. According to the Constitution, a person must meet certain requirements in order to be eligible to become President. Name one of these requirements.

52. Why are there 100 Senators in the Senate?

53. Who selects the Supreme Court justice?

54. How many Supreme Court justice are there?

55. Why did the Pilgrims come to America?

56. What is the head executive of a state government called?

57. What is the head executive of a city government called?

58. What holiday was celebrated for the first time by the Americans colonists?

59. Who was the main writer of the Declaration of Independence?

60. When was the Declaration of Independence adopted?

61. What is the basic belief of the Declaration of Independence?

62. What is the national anthem of the United States?

63. Who wrote the Star-Spangled Banner?

64. Where does freedom of speech come from?

65. What is a minimum voting age in the United States?

66. Who signs bills into law?

67. What is the highest court in the United States?

68. Who was the President during the Civil War?

69. What did the Emancipation Declaration do?

70. What special group advises the President?

71. Which President is called the "Father of our country"?

72. What Immigration and Naturalization Service form is used to apply to become a naturalized citizen?

73. Who helped the Pilgrims in America?

74. What is the name of the ship that brought the Pilgrims to America?

75. What are the 13 original states of the U.S. called?

76. Name 3 rights of freedom guaranteed by the Bill of Rights.

77. Who has the power to declare the war?

78. What kind of government does the United States have?

79. Which President freed the slaves?

80. In what year was the Constitution written?

81. What are the first 10 amendments to the Constitution called?

82. Name one purpose of the United Nations?

83. Where does Congress meet?

84. Whose rights are guaranteed by the Constitution and the Bill of Rights?

85. What is the introduction to the Constitution called?

86. Name one benefit of being citizen of the United States.

87. What is the most important right granted to U.S. citizens?

88. What is the United States Capitol?

89. What is the White House?

90. Where is the White House located?

91. What is the name of the President's official home?

92. Name the right guaranteed by the first amendment.

93. Who is the Commander in Chief of the U.S. military?

94. Which President was the first Commander in Chief of the U.S. military?

95. In what month do we vote for the President?

96. In what month is the new President inaugurated?

97. How many times may a Senator be re-elected?

98. How many times may a Congressman be re-elected?

99. What are the 2 major political parties in the U.S. today?

100. How many states are there in the United States today?

They're considering changing them in 2008 to these (http://usgovinfo.about.com/library/blinstst_new.htm)

[Mike225]

They're considering changing them in 2008 to these (http://usgovinfo.about.com/library/blinstst_new.htm)Those are easy. They're multiple choice but the answers are all A.

[Buckyrig]

23. How many branches are there in our government?

24. What are the three branches of our government?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[FA]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

It's not that funny. The list is what they pick questions randomly from. You don't have to answer 100 questions in the test.

[Buckyrig]

61. What is the basic belief of the Declaration of Independence?

It's ok to shoot at legitimate government forces if you don't like their tax policy? :huh:

[Mike225]

It's not that funny. The list is what they pick questions randomly from. You don't have to answer 100 questions in the test. :bounce: :banana: :carrot: :slap: Wouldn't it be cool if FA made posts like this on occassion?

[Buckyrig]

77. Who has the power to declare the war?

What? :laugh:

[Buckyrig]

69. What did the Emancipation Declaration do?

Is "nothing" an acceptable answer? :har:

78. What kind of government does the United States have?

82. Name one purpose of the United Nations?

God...I'd have an aneurysm choking down the impulse to give smart-ass answers to some of these more 'open' question. :laugh:

[FA]

God...I'd have an aneurysm choking down the impulse to give smart-ass answers to some of these more 'open' question. :laugh:

Try sitting through a minimum wage interview where they tell you that if you're a quick learner you'll find putting price stickers on things very rewarding.

Only that wasn't so much choking down the urge to be a smartass as choking down the urge to repeatedly stab myself in the carotid artery with a pencil.

[Screeny]

You could have dual pricing guns....and wear them in a makeshift gunbelt. The satisfaction they speak of could come from standing in front of the food to be priced, squinting, and flexing your fingers over the holstered guns. When the moment is right, DRAW and price away like a madman. When your finished, blow away imaginary smoke from each pricing gun, twirl them back into the holsters and walk up the aisle like you've just shit your pants.

Now tell me there's no potential rewards in THAT! Fun times for all! :p

[Scott James]

Scored 60 percent on the US Citizenship test. But I missed the questions on blind obdience to the state and ignorance of events that occur 40 miles away from where I want to live.

I scored 9 out of 14 on the British test. Although I challenge the validity of questions about Father Christmas (which I got wrong)

[chaosgoat]

You answered 95% of questions correctly.

85-100%: Welcome to the United States! (And, truth be told, you know more about this great land than most Americans.)

The only one I missed was the one about the Naturalization form. But I'm also a political science major, so I'd better get that many right. :laugh: