does she have the right idea?

[xombey]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070921/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_germany_politics_marriage

[The DarkMind]

ABSOLUTELY.

7 years with the option to renew is an excellent idea.

[Mike225]

Yeah, it's a good idea.

[Newt]

Sure, why not? People need to understand the distinction between civil marriage and holy matrimony; you may enter both at the same time, but they're not the same thing. What any faith has to say about marriage should have no effect on any country's marriage laws.

[The DarkMind]

it would even work to the christian religions advantage from a statistical standpoint by seeing a significant drop in the divorce rate.

[Screeny]

At least it would stop all of the itching.

[xombey]

or increase it. what, with all the remarrying every 7 yrs.

[Cat]

Sure, why not? People need to understand the distinction between civil marriage and holy matrimony; you may enter both at the same time, but they're not the same thing. What any faith has to say about marriage should have no effect on any country's marriage laws.
That is the most brilliant thing I have read in a long time!

[dano]

Why bother getting married at all then. Just live together. The point of marriage regardless of its civil/religious genesis, is to say, "i am committed to you until death'.
not 'I am committed to you until i get bored.'

If you don't feel that way, why even bother to get married. That way you can just break up with the other ad hoc.

[The DarkMind]

Why bother getting married at all then.


I can sum this up in two words.

Tax Benefits :bounce:

[MattWaterman]

Not to be a spoilsport but.....IS this a good idea...?

I mean, I'm kinda unclear by the article whether she wants change within the curch, wants change within the law, or if she was just making a suggestion. To me, this seems to be the contraposative of many of the critiques levelled at those who denounce same-sex marriage: It's telling others how they can and cannot live. Just as marriage should be allowed same-sex partners, people who wish to be a part of a religious organization should be entitled their own style of marriage* I don't know. While yeah, it does have a certain "what's good for the goose..." quality, I believe it runs the risk of being as closed minded as those on the other side of the issue.

$0.02



*The sticky issue of polygomy as it relates to child abuse notwithstanding.

[FA]

The point of getting married isn't to get a tax break. It's to give you that formal reminder that when times get tough, which they inevitably will, you need to work through it together and as such learn something rather than go "fuck it" and chase the greener grass. It shouldn't have to be that way but apparently with the "KICK HIM TO THE CURB, GIRLFRIEND!" attitude that people mindlessly parrot, it needs to be.

But what do I know. I just did it to get a visa.



That is, of course, a joke. Please don't call the INS - they're pretty mean.

[dano]

I can sum this up in two words.

Tax Benefits :bounce:
People can do that now. If all they want is tax breaks, get married. Divorce should be easy since both parties agree.

Considering the suggestion came from someone with 2 divorces under her belt, I don't presume she gives a rat's ass about marriage or finding a decent partner for more than several years anyway.

[MattWaterman]

Considering the suggestion came from someone with 2 divorces under her belt, I don't presume she gives a rat's ass about marriage or finding a decent partner for more than several years anyway.


She is pretty hot, as older women go...

http://news.xinhuanet.com/video/2007-03/30/xin_502030430211926577822.jpg

[JAQ]

Sure, why not? People need to understand the distinction between civil marriage and holy matrimony; you may enter both at the same time, but they're not the same thing. What any faith has to say about marriage should have no effect on any country's marriage laws.That's what I think is ridiculous about all the talk of "banning gay marriage". There's no law that any legislature in the U.S. can pass that would ban gay couples from having a religious ceremony in which their church, friends, and family recognize them as "married". (I went to one last year. And yes, I cried.) That's a basic First Amendment right that even the current Supremes would uphold. What they mean is "barring gay couples from the benefits of civil marriage." Which is (IMHO) really bad public policy, but at least it's (arguably) Constitutional.

[The DarkMind]

The point of getting married isn't to get a tax break. It's to give you that formal reminder that when times get tough, which they inevitably will, you need to work through it together and as such learn something rather than go "fuck it" and chase the greener grass. It shouldn't have to be that way but apparently with the "KICK HIM TO THE CURB, GIRLFRIEND!" attitude that people mindlessly parrot, it needs to be.

But what do I know. I just did it to get a visa.



That is, of course, a joke. Please don't call the INS - they're pretty mean.

The world how it should be is very different then the world how it is FA. :(

[Newt]

*SOAPBOX*

It's not the government's job to encourage you to get married (tax breaks) or stay married (tough divorce law); that's a personal/ social decision, not a legal one. The way I see it, if you want to have a legal bond between you and your partner(s) or designate your partner as next of kin, you ought to be able to work up a contract and have it notarized, witnessed, whatever, and that be the end of government involvement in your marriage. Being married in the eyes of God should be entirely separate.

And Matt- while it's true that most American polygynous relationships are morbidly unhealthy, I suspect that has as much or more to do with the fact that they are carried out by members of lunatic-fringe churches living in self-imposed isolation from the rest of society as it has to do with the inherent dynamics of polygyny. If polygyny and other forms of polygamy were legal and accepted, we might have less problems with them.

*END SOAPBOX*

[FA]

The world how it should be is very different then the world how it is FA. :(

No shit.

Let's just give up then, hey?

[Buckyrig]

*pull pin*

I don't believe any marriage should be recognized by any legal agency on any level whatsoever.

*DUCK!*














I'm not entirely serious, so you can relax.

[xombey]

what really is the point of marriage? it seems like a good deterrant to disease. it gives children a sense of belonging before they realize they don't want to belong anymore. why should people commit to someone they met in their 20's for the rest of their life? maybe the 7 yrs would serve as areality check--do i really wanto to be with...? if they think they do, just renew.

[Newt]

*pull pin*

I don't believe any marriage should be recognized by any legal agency on any level whatsoever.

*DUCK!*

But then... we'd all be bastards in the eyes of the law!












I'm not entirely serious, so you can relax.

Not "entirely" serious, eh? You're the one responsible for eroding Americas' morals!

[Buckyrig]

But then... we'd all be bastards in the eyes of the law!

You mean, like Shakespearean Villians?













Awesome!

[FA]

maybe the 7 yrs would serve as areality check--do i really wanto to be with...? if they think they do, just renew.

You can do that now though. Why create legislation that babies people who sleepwalk through their relationship and inconveniences people who try to preserve it?

[The DarkMind]

Divorce should be easy since both parties agree.

THAT all depends on where you live. In some states, yes you can file for divorce and be done with it, especially if you both agree. Hell I think theres a few you can file for divorce and have it finalized without your spouse even knowing about it till you get home and tell them. However, in this grand commonwealth of mine, you have to be separated for a period of two years in order to file, and be granted, a no-fault divorce. If you file before the two year wait, then it costs you an arm and a leg in legal fees as you go through litigation and are required to attend marriage counseling to try and save the marriage despite if both of you want out or not. Then you still have to wait the two years living in separate residences before the complaint goes to court.

My ex-wife and I both wanted out of the marriage because after 10 years together, 7 of which married, we just simply no longer got along. We got married young (20) and over the years grew into two very different people then we use to be and the people we became were not nearly as compatible as the kids that were blind with love.

Now, we've both moved on but still being technically married it has been difficult pursuing a quality relationship with more then one girlfriend of mine citing the divorce not being finalized as grounds for the break-up. apparently there is that underlying thought that since we arent divorced yet, theres a very real chance of us reconciling if for no other reason then for the kids we had together.

So no, Divorce is never an easy thing, even if both parties agree to it.
The tax benefits will be missed though when everything is over with.

[xombey]

You can do that now though. Why create legislation that babies people who sleepwalk through their relationship and inconveniences people who try to preserve it?
because that's what laws are for--to protect the least common denominator. seat belt laws, speeding laws, children's safety seat laws, parking near fire hydrant laws...

[FA]

because that's what laws are for--to protect the least common denominator. seat belt laws, speeding laws, children's safety seat laws, parking near fire hydrant laws...

Hmmm. I'm going to need some coffee in me to process that one.

[Newt]

Seat belt laws, yes, but the rest of those laws are meant to keep stupid people from causing harm to others.

[Buckyrig]

Seat belt laws are bullshit. You wanna go through your windshield, that's your business.

[The DarkMind]

Seat belt laws are bullshit. You wanna go through your windshield, that's your business.

you are free to feel that way, just as long as you dont breach MY windshield after your non seatbelt wearin ass gets ejected from YOUR car :laugh:

[Buckyrig]

I think you watch too many action movies. :sure:

[dano]

THAT all depends on where you live. In some states, yes you can file for divorce and be done with it, especially if you both agree. Hell I think theres a few you can file for divorce and have it finalized without your spouse even knowing about it till you get home and tell them. However, in this grand commonwealth of mine, .. i get craaazy girls ALL the time and don't even HAVE to sleep with them all.
Who told you to live in the Texas of the North?!
Stop getting so many girls, you maniac!

[The Scribe]

it would even work to the christian religions advantage from a statistical standpoint by seeing a significant drop in the divorce rate.

UM, no.

Bad idea. ;)

[Toyandgadgetguy]

People should just grow up. What is a trial marriage? If you want to try it out... make your promises to each other, and live together. Why should the government be involved?

Someone said it earlier... tax breaks. Give me a break. People should police themselves. What the hell do they need to waste everyone's time for?

[jakebilbao]

if you want to live with someone forever, get married in the philippines, there is no divorce here! :laugh:

[FA]

if you want to live with someone forever, get married in the philippines, there is no divorce here! :laugh:

At all? You just can't divorce for any reason?

How does that work?

[Amadarwin]

you shoot her.

[jakebilbao]

At all? You just can't divorce for any reason?

How does that work?
yup, no divorce at all. you could have the marriage annulled

[Buckyrig]

you shoot her.

Damn! Beat me to it

Filipino Divorce: http://www.nightmarefactory.com/VA178.jpg

[Buckyrig]

yup, no divorce at all. you could have the marriage annulled

And if that doesn't work you start your own religion!

[FA]

yup, no divorce at all. you could have the marriage annulled

Interesting. So at what age do most people get married over there? Do they tend to wait til later in life or anything?

[jakebilbao]

hehehehe you guys are crazy, why does marriage always have to end in divorce? :blink:

[jakebilbao]

Interesting. So at what age do most people get married over there? Do they tend to wait til later in life or anything?
i know you could get married at the legal age of 18

[FA]

And if that doesn't work you start your own religion!

Hey, fuck you mister. He had the divine right of kings and shit. God told him to do that.

[FA]

hehehehe you guys are crazy, why does marriage always have to end in divorce? :blink:

Because this is america, jake! What if our husband gets ED or our wife puts on twenty pounds? What if we want to be like Dan Marino or that old guy that gets to say "Hey, Marino!"? What are the lawyers going to do if we don't divorce? Where shall we put Ricki Lake, Jerry Springer, Montel Williams and that filthy little toad Geraldo Rivera??

We needs divorce jake. Needs it. Wants it. My precioussssss.

[jakebilbao]

Because this is america, jake! What if our husband gets ED or our wife puts on twenty pounds? What if we want to be like Dan Marino or that old guy that gets to say "Hey, Marino!"? What are the lawyers going to do if we don't divorce? Where shall we put Ricki Lake, Jerry Springer, Montel Williams and that filthy little toad Geraldo Rivera??

We needs divorce jake. Needs it. Wants it. My precioussssss.
hehehehe ok, i think i understand now. :laugh:

[Amadarwin]

Divorce is the mother of "ooops, my bad."

[Buckyrig]

You know, this was the Ferengi concept of marriage.

Maybe we shouldn't take our cues from Star Trek.

[chaosgoat]

I think it's an interesting idea. Whether it would work in practice... well, that would just be a wait and see.

That said, I want to be like Gabriele Pauli when I grow up.

[Amadarwin]

it's really no different than getting a divorce every 7 years if you so choose. Her way only removes that tic mark in the divorce column...

[Buckyrig]

it's really no different than getting a divorce every 7 years if you so choose. Her way only removes that tic mark in the divorce column...

Only if you're an idiot and don't realize it's the same fucking thing. :confused:

[Scott James]

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070921/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_germany_politics_marriageIt is lateral thinking at its finest.

What surprises me is that it does not have more support. It is perfectly acceptable - indeed, it is warranted by law in the west - that government's call elections every few years. Why should it not apply to marriages?

[Amadarwin]

Why should it not apply to marriages?
because you can't legally force women to respect your authority. Sad times...

[Buckyrig]

Look!

If you want out of your marriage after seven years, man up and commit suicide!

[Scott James]

because you can't legally force women to respect your authority. Sad times...The day I have authority of any woman is the day I cut off my cock and balls and start collecting shoes by the pound.

[The DarkMind]

Who told you to live in the Texas of the North?!
Stop getting so many girls, you maniac!

i love how you change my quote to make me into a big ladies man :laugh:

i was actually very serious about the girlfriends over the last two years that i wanted to be in a commited relationship with. 4 of them, including the most recent whom i actually was wanting to be stupid enough to go through marriage again with, cited the divorce not being finalized and just not being able to handle it as reasons to leave.

[FA]

4 of them, including the most recent whom i actually was wanting to be stupid enough to go through marriage again with, cited the divorce not being finalized and just not being able to handle it as reasons to leave.

Then you've probably dodged a bullet. Assuming you did a good job of explaining the position you were in, if they can't handle that situation then they can't handle marriage.

Be on your own for a change, man. It won't kill you.

[The DarkMind]

Then you've probably dodged a bullet. Assuming you did a good job of explaining the position you were in, if they can't handle that situation then they can't handle marriage.

Be on your own for a change, man. It won't kill you.

unfortunetly the position i was in wasnt explained as well as i thought it was and of course she never brought up her feelings on it or just flat out asked me where i stood. she just assumed a lot and let it eat her up. in fact, the problem didnt even come out until we got together a month after the break-up for lunch and so i could return her things. thats when she finally opened up because i called her out on the bullshit cover excuse she gave the day of the break-up. there was a lot of things she just took at face value without asking about them and i of course had no idea they were bothering her. i set her straight on all of them but by then it was too late to make a difference.

be on my own? but... but... i loves da wimmins! :w00t:

(and just for dano cause he finds my life so fascinating, i'm heading out in a bit to go spend the weekend with my next future ex-girlfriend. wish me luck! :laugh: )

[FA]

she never brought up her feelings on it or just flat out asked me where i stood. she just assumed a lot and let it eat her up. in fact, the problem didnt even come out until we got together a month after the break-up for lunch and so i could return her things. thats when she finally opened up because i called her out on the bullshit cover excuse she gave the day of the break-up. there was a lot of things she just took at face value without asking about them and i of course had no idea they were bothering her. i set her straight on all of them but by then it was too late to make a difference.

Ok, then I take it back. Your problem is not marriage/divorce. Your problem is that women are fucking insane.

Sorry :( Try playing for the other team?

[Buckyrig]

Ergo: You are against marriage. :laugh: :p

[The DarkMind]

Ok, then I take it back. Your problem is not marriage/divorce. Your problem is that women are fucking insane.

Sorry :( Try playing for the other team?

you think guys are any better? :laugh:

[FA]

Ergo: You are against marriage. :laugh: :p

I don't know - there was a guy on Jerry Springer who married a horse and I can't really find any fault with that.

[FA]

you think guys are any better? :laugh:

There's always a third option...

http://i191.photobucket.com/albums/z188/jhdahl/Her.jpg

[The DarkMind]

:confused: uh.... pass.

[Buckyrig]

:confused: uh.... pass.

Pussy!

[FA]

Pussy!

Or not.

Who can say until...well. Best not.

[The DarkMind]

Pussy!

YOU go ahead and get with it then buddy :laugh:

[Lady_Raven]

why can't i just find a fuck buddy that will cuddle every great once in awhile. After the first marriage I don't know if I wanna try it again cause so far every man hence has acted like my ex. They just wanna move in tell you how to raise your kid, make you support them and sit on the couch eating your food.

[dano]

Arent you reengaged to your ex?

[Lady_Raven]

Arent you reengaged to your ex?
I am engaged, but not to my ex. I plan on keeping it that way. I refuse to get stuck in another marriage with a lazy ass. He thinks he is safe for the time being.

[Mike225]

I am engaged, but not to my ex. I plan on keeping it that way. I refuse to get stuck in another marriage with a lazy ass. He thinks he is safe for the time being.Who does? Your ex or your fiance? I'm confused.

[Lady_Raven]

my fiance lol

[Mike225]

Should I ask why you got engaged, then?!

[Lady_Raven]

that happened back when he was working and living elswhere. had i known he would turn into a slob once the ring was on my finger, I would have told him to keep it

[MattWaterman]

My girl tells me what to do all the time and I find her relaxing on the couch while I massage her feet a very sensual experience.

:har:

Different strokes...different folks.....

[JAQ]

you think guys are any better? :laugh:They are not. Trust me on this... I know of what I speak.

[jakebilbao]

you know, i've been thinking. this seven year marriage thing might be a good idea for most of you guys here and to a lot of other people. but i am wondering why still call it marriage? isn't marriage for better or for worse, till death do us part?

i will be first in line to push this seven year partnership if it is named differently and has different laws from those of marriage to impose it. i also might like to suggest an exam before you are qualified to enter this seven year partnership. think about it, everyone will be doing it because there is a possible back door. heck even marriage with divorce has a possible back door, i'd suggest the exam on that too.

i believe, living with someone for the rest of your life doesn't mean you are to be IN-LOVE with that person the whole time. you have to LOVE that person no matter what. it's like when you start a business, and the business starts to dwindle, do you make the necessary steps to save the business?

i'm not married yet and i don't know if i decide to, mine would be successful. but i know i will make a promise to someone one day, and i intend to keep that promise, for better or for worse, till death do we part. :)

that's my two cents on this issue. :)

[Lady_Raven]

I took the steps to try and save my marriage. We tried counseling and all that. But if the other person isn't willing to meet you half way and it comes down to a choice of feeding your children or feeding a lay about husband what can ya do?

[JAQ]

i will be first in line to push this seven year partnership if it is named differently"Marriage" is a generic noun that refers to all kinds of things (marriage of convenience, arranged marriage, group marriage, etc). If you want a term that only applies to one kind of marriage, maybe that means making up a new word for that.
and has different laws from those of marriage to impose it.Why? So the people in certain kinds of marriages can be given special rights?i also might like to suggest an exam before you are qualified to enter this seven year partnership.The only qualification for a lifetime marriage is the ability to mumble "I do" when the guy in a robe stops talking and looks at you. I think voluntary pre-marital relationship classes and counseling are a great idea, but when the government gets involved in deciding who can get married, that's the state sticking its nose where it doesn't belong.

[Newt]

I like the way you think, Mr. Q!

[JJ McKool]

OK, I don't know if some of you understand why this is so controversial, so I'll let you in.

Marriage in most cultures has been a religious thing, about the joining of two souls. You don't just unjoin those souls, unless something really bad happens, in the Judaeo-Christian path that breaking of souls can only happen in an instance of adultery (annulment is only meant to be able to happen religiously if the "sealing of the deal" didn't happen, though the Catholic church and Jewish temple have both been known to allow annulments for extreme conditions, whether or not it works in God's eyes, who's to say).

Most western cultures, but mainly the States, follow the Judaeo-Christian ideals, albeit, not very well. Many people tend to act in a Hellenistic manner, without realizing. But when you attack a very fundamental part of the religion, like saying the conjoining of souls only lasts 7 years when we have no such authority to say so, you can see where people would get angry at the notion.

Now, in a legal sense, it could work, but again, religion clouds it. Divorce you would think messes with that too, but I guess it's been a part of our culture for long enough that people are willing to accept it. Retarded if you ask me, it's not like those parts of the bible that vaguely condone rape and slavery, this is a part that's said over and over and over, and ties into a lot of other things, not just crap written in times of war.

Anyways, what I' getting at, is marriage as a legal institution is just a left-over from the time when the Roman-Catholic Church was the government. Now, we're supposed to have a separation of church and state, but people are scared of that I guess. Marriage definitely should not, nor should it have ever been in the Christian mindset, a legal institution. Jesus said right there in that book to separate church from state, to leave politics to the politicians.

And then there's the whole freedom of religion thing with the US, and every other Western nation, well what if you don't want to participate in marriage in the normal way, but religiously you wanna do this seven-year thing? That's supposed to be your right. SO fuck, get rid of marriage as an institution, and if you want something in place of it, make common-law the institution. Create a whole different set of rules to it that make sense in a legal sense.

How was that for babbling?

[The DarkMind]

without divorce the murder rate for adultery and abusive spouses would skyrocket higher then they already are because it would be the only way out of the situation.

[Biofungus]

without divorce the murder rate for adultery and abusive spouses would skyrocket higher then they already are because it would be the only way out of the situation.
As someone who just finalized a divorce, you've thought about this, haven't you?

:p

[JJ McKool]

without divorce the murder rate for adultery and abusive spouses would skyrocket higher then they already are because it would be the only way out of the situation.

Adultery is the only grounds for divorce if you go by the bible or the Catholic Church. Spousal abuse is grounds for an annulment.

[The DarkMind]

As someone who just finalized a divorce, you've thought about this, haven't you?

:p

what? everyone doesnt drive around with a shovel, bleach, and contractor bags in the trunk of their car? :blink:

and it ain't final yet... only filed.