Daddy's little girl

[scherzo]

These are the first 5 pages from an ongoing story I've finally managed to complete some real work on. I'm responsible for everything, so all you survey(words, pictures, plot)is subject to commentary. Let me know how you think it's coming along. :happy:


http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/9c224f0f.jpg

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/3068a9cb.jpg

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/5d1e181e.jpg

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/aa82d418.jpg

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/512d4d9b.jpg
More to come later... :eek:

-scherzo

[Spacious Interior]

These are wonderful. Your style is very kinetic so you have just enough action to keep it functional. I really can't think of anything ON THESE pages that might need work.

...So I guess these are real portfolio material. :kewl:

[Larime Taylor]

VERY nice manga style, and excellent layout and design.

I'm impressed.

[OZ!]

It makes me think of a mix between manga and JRJR and it makes for a very cool looking comic.

[Dannthr]

That's so fake! No one would want a Bronco's hat for Christmas.

:nyah:

Seriously slick work, man! I dig it!

I like the FPOV!

[scherzo]

Thanks for commenting Spacious, Larime and OZ! :) Interesting to hear the reference to JRJR, since I don't see my drawings likened to well known artists very often. Although Romita does seem like a fairly close fit now that you mention it.

-Mark

[scherzo]

That's so fake! No one would want a Bronco's hat for Christmas.
Poor Broncos. :( And Dan's posting from Colorado no less. :)

Thanks for commenting Dan. Speaking as a long suffering Jets fan from the east coast, I know no matter how bad things may get...you can never TRULY abandon the team you love dearly. Our hero Jim wears the hat cuz he's an eternal optimist at heart. Or maybe he's just hiding a receding hairline. Who knows....oh wait, I think I'm s'posed ta... :eek:

-Mark

[Codazen]

Those are some interesting pages. Anime with a violent streak. Everything is good except the lettering. I suggest posting these in the lettering section for advice in that area. Keep working. You are on a good track.

[sevans]

Damn! Your style is really growing on me. Very nice, energetic pages.
The panel with the explosion, using just harsh lighting - very nicely done.

[scherzo]

Those are some interesting pages. Anime with a violent streak. Everything is good except the lettering. I suggest posting these in the lettering section for advice in that area. Keep working. You are on a good track.
Thanks for commenting Codazen. :)
I am interested in getting impressions on the lettering too now that you mention. The sound effects are all hand drawn of course, but this is my first time ever using the computer for the balloons and text. What I like most about that, is how easily adjustments are made to my script on the fly. I'm definitely not opposed to making changes to anything that's simply not working for most readers.
Damn! Your style is really growing on me. Very nice, energetic pages.
The panel with the explosion, using just harsh lighting - very nicely done.
Thanks for posting sevans. :)
By the time this crazy story is wrapped, I'll have drawn so many explosions, violent bullet impacts and knifings, they'll probably invite me to write a segment for "Grindhouse 2: Dismembers Only".

-Mark

[Fresco]

Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful... :thumbs:

[midknight]

nice motion to these pages

[Phatman]

Scherzo:

I'll agree with the group here on these pages. Very solid work-you've really improved. The only thing I hate is the Bronco's hat (but that's not because it isn't rendered well it's just,...well,...the Donks). Nice job.

[scherzo]

Thanks Fresco and midknight. :)
I'm glad the early pages are making a favorable impression. I'll admit...I wasn't all that sure about them. Not a single billowy cape, robot, or scantily clad babe in sight....what was I thinking? :eek:
I'll agree with the group here on these pages. Very solid work-you've really improved. The only thing I hate is the Bronco's hat (but that's not because it isn't rendered well it's just,...well,...the Donks). Nice job.
Heh heh. Thanks Phatman. :)
Man...you'd think we were talking about The Cowboys or something....:(
After reading dano's response to this pin-up from several months ago...
http://www.digitalwebbing.com/forums/showthread.php?t=98398
...it occurred to me that Jim's choice of cap could be a source of recurring humor in the finished book. The only problem is, as a writer, I know the jokes won't work if the Broncos suddenly become an overnight league powerhouse.(stop looking at me funny...they were 13-3 in 2005 :p ) I'll think I'll play it safe and remain neutral on the Mile High Guys.

I should have more pages ready to go soon so stick around!

-Mark

[scherzo]

Annnnnnnnnnnnd...they're off..! :bounce:
http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/fa730e60.jpg

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/6b25d5c3.jpg
-Mark

[Scaleyinx]

Slick work!! I love your style! :kewl:

[neochilds]

Well as I thought sir, you work has inspired me to starting working again. I will get back to manning the gun turrents.

[the machine]

this is some really impressive stuff!


joel,

[scherzo]

Thanks for commenting Scaleyinx, neochilds and the machine. You guys rock! :banana: I'm still fine tuning the other pages, but I'll post ‘em up when they're done if any if this Texas turmoil is the least bit compelling. :)

Btw I'm hoping to have this stuff colored, so any experienced photoshop jockeys should check out the specifics of my help wanted ad: http://www.digitalwebbing.com/forums/showthread.php?t=108614

[newbold]

Mark- these pages are looking really cool. I find myself wondering what happened to "santa"? ...so good job there.

I agree, you may want to seek some advice on the lettering and particularly the ballon placements and emphasis. A good idea is to have the tails aimed at the mouth of the person who is speaking. Sometimes the balloons seem to originate from the characters eyes, shoulders, etc...

looking forward to more

[thecarrierone]

im digging this stuff!
id buy a book with your art in it alone but im actually liking the story!
keep us in the know as to where ur book is heading

[scherzo]

Mark- these pages are looking really cool. I find myself wondering what happened to "santa"? ...so good job there.

I agree, you may want to seek some advice on the lettering and particularly the ballon placements and emphasis. A good idea is to have the tails aimed at the mouth of the person who is speaking. Sometimes the balloons seem to originate from the characters eyes, shoulders, etc...
Thanks newbold. :) The balloons are one of those things I barely paid attention to in the comics I've read, so my instincts when creating them probably aren't the most trustworthy. I'll definitely keep your tip in mind though. Thanks for posting.
im digging this stuff!
id buy a book with your art in it alone but im actually liking the story!
keep us in the know as to where ur book is heading
Thanks carrierone. :) I'm glad to hear the story's working for you.(I'm about 75% happy with the drawings) My biggest fear is losing readers when the plot takes a turn for the "bizarre" somewhere around page 18. I guess I'll find out then whether or not this story's "hook" is viable.

-Mark

[Sequential76]

I like the momentum, snappy art too.
Best to you.

[Fahnon]

Some of the best sequential pages seen here. As I've been saying for years if your work was out there you would have fans guaranteed. Post more please.

[scherzo]

Thanks Sequential76 and Fahnon. :)

I've gotten some interesting feedback from a couple of editors on the art. I've heard a couple of times that my style is tough to market because it looks like a manga/America hybrid. Not skewing enough either way to make the folks in charge comfortable. :eek: It's encouraging that most regular folks I've shown it to don't seem to mind. :)

-Mark

[LDahl]

Thanks Sequential76 and Fahnon. :)

I've gotten some interesting feedback from a couple of editors on the art. I've heard a couple of times that my style is tough to market because it looks like a manga/America hybrid. Not skewing enough either way to make the folks in charge comfortable. :eek: It's encouraging that most regular folks I've shown it to don't seem to mind. :)

-Mark

Are you kidding!? That's what I like about it. I think your work is super.

[scherzo]

Sorry I missed your comments earlier LDahl. It's reassuring to hear the style isn't a turn off for everybody. :)

Moving right along:
http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/f63664bc.jpg

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/08f9ca2c.jpg

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/b00cd22f.jpg

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/5892bc03.jpg

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/c54c861a.jpg
-Mark

[VANDAL]

This work is simply amazing. Yer gonna get picked up by a publisher soon, i can feel it.

[toyfiend2004]

HOLY MARY MOTHER OF......
this stuff is amazing. i love the animerican blend.
Could i get some Hi-Rez scans to ink. these are incredibly good to make me want to try on. morcow@gmail.com

Great job!!!!! keep em coming.

[j giar]

Holy crap Mark!! How the hell did I miss this. Amazing...AMAZING work, man.
You know I've been a big fan of your work and this just proves I was right.
One thing I did notice is the page 1 and page 2 of this last set your beginning to patterning (Hard to say and I made up the word...just because I have to watch myself. I catch myself doing it unintentionally.) Those two have almost the same panel and page designs. Including images breaking the borders. You did split the bottom teir differently, just something else to watch for. The lettering I take my hat off to. I just haven't taken the time to learn it on the computer and so I hand letter all my stuff. Great story, lots of action and I'm in direct competition on the exploding body parts, mutilation and gun fights. :laugh:
Your balloon placement can only get better as you go along. Again, it's something I struggle with as well...Nice work all around. I'm suprised that the manga crowd wouldn't pick up on this. It's just a cool hybrid look that's totally original. Okay..enough babbling. :thumbs:
Jim

[scherzo]

This work is simply amazing. Yer gonna get picked up by a publisher soon, i can feel it.
Thanks VANDAL. :) I've gotten a peek at a couple of the colored versions of these pages, so I might get to show ‘em off at the Philly show this year. I guess we'll see what happens.
HOLY MARY MOTHER OF......
this stuff is amazing. i love the animerican blend.
Could i get some Hi-Rez scans to ink. these are incredibly good to make me want to try on. morcow@gmail.com
Thanks for commenting toyfiend2004. :) I'll send a couple of Hi Rez scans if ya want. Look for them within the next couple of days.

-scherzo

[scherzo]

Holy crap Mark!! How the hell did I miss this. Amazing...AMAZING work, man.
You know I've been a big fan of your work and this just proves I was right.
One thing I did notice is the page 1 and page 2 of this last set your beginning to patterning (Hard to say and I made up the word...just because I have to watch myself. I catch myself doing it unintentionally.) Those two have almost the same panel and page designs. Including images breaking the borders. You did split the bottom teir differently, just something else to watch for.
Ah yes...THOSE 2 pages. What happened is...I'd plotted out the first 22 panel for panel. A few fully penciled pages in, and I realized the "event" that occurs toward the end, needed a full splash. I didn't want to start tacking pages on, so 8 and 9 are condensed versions of 3 pages. The layout turning out so similar is something I hadn't noticed until...well, you just pointed it out. Now I'm all like..."holy crap he's right"! Excellent tip. :bounce:
The lettering I take my hat off to. I just haven't taken the time to learn it on the computer and so I hand letter all my stuff. Great story, lots of action and I'm in direct competition on the exploding body parts, mutilation and gun fights.
Your balloon placement can only get better as you go along. Again, it's something I struggle with as well...Nice work all around. I'm suprised that the manga crowd wouldn't pick up on this. It's just a cool hybrid look that's totally original. Okay..enough babbling.
Thanks Jim. I'm actually pretty good at hand lettering, but I just can't match the machine when it comes to "polish".(and spelling) I think the big problem is, I've never really given comicbook word balloons that much attention. I've kinda taken the layman's common sense approach to them, which as you can see...is hit or miss. :( I need to keep working on it though, especially since the next chapter is going to be more blah blah and less bang bang. ;)

-scherzo

[scherzo]

Calling all cars..! :eek:
http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/9c881881.jpg

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/fc8bea67.jpg
-Mark

[Fahnon]

No crits. Post more please.

[JFK]

wow! you have a great talent. you will go far if you choose to do so.

[j giar]

Nice..real nice.

[deanne]

Cool beans.
I've enjoyed this immensely! You're doing a great job, I think. Keep it up!! Can't wait for the next pages!!!

[scherzo]

Thanks Fahnon, JFK and j giar for commenting. When we gonna get another peek at SoulDriver Jim!?
Cool beans.
I've enjoyed this immensely! You're doing a great job, I think. Keep it up!! Can't wait for the next pages!!!
Thanks deanne. :)
Wow you have over 1000 posts, and I don't recall ever seeing your handle before.(Maybe I don't know as many "things" as I thought :eek: ) I'm glad you're enjoying the story. More pages should be arriving any minute now. The first 22 are essentially finished. Just undergoing a minor fine tuning process...because I'm mental. :whistlin:

-Mark

[j giar]

Thanks Fahnon, JFK and j giar for commenting. When we gonna get another peek at SoulDriver Jim!?
-Mark

Chapter 2 - Of Mist and Smoke will start tomorrow Monday 28th at Drunk Duck...Thanks for the plug..(Checks in the mail... ;) )

[scherzo]

Hey Jim your post over on souldriving.net about why Soul Driver begins the way it does was interesting. Like you...I think cinematically about how my story is assembled...and I've come to consider the first chapter of "Blessing" as my pre-credit sequence. Picture a cool title card popping up right after 22.(hey...ya need a vivid imagination to draw this junk :cry: )
Anywayzzzz....here are 15 and 16 :)
http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/091f1c69.jpg

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/121c6b1e.jpg
-Mark

[scherzo]

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/483ce47e.jpg
-Mark(finale arriving soon)

[Ravencore]

I am a fan. I see this in a store I am picking it up. I love the story as well as the visuals. great stuff

[Wozlok]

Hey Scherzo, always been a fan of your work, and these are no different, awesome job man.

[scherzo]

Thanks Ravencore and Wozlok for commenting.:)

Well I accidently managed to delete page14, and with no ability to edit posts(what's that about?)...some pic shuffling was in order:
http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/5dbad77a.jpg

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/7202ec53.jpg

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/a7a74854.jpg

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/1e58b46c.jpg
-Mark

[Fahnon]

Post more I have to see what happens next. BTW you made me actually laugh on that last page. Last time that happened was in Whedon's X-Men, so you're in good company...

[scherzo]

Thanks Fahnon. :) Post more you say..?
http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/blessing_page18.jpg

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/blessing_page19.jpg

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/blessing_page20.jpg

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/blessing_page21.jpg

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/blessing_page22.jpg
And that's a wrap for installment one. I'm definitely interested in finding out if this premise warrants further development,(I sure hope so...since I have the whole nasty 12 part story pretty mapped out)so don't hesitate to tell me what just ain't workin' for ya. Thanks for reading either way! :bounce:

-Mark(you uh...did read it right? :cry: )

[Fahnon]

Well that was a damn fine read. You submitting to Image?

[battleangel]

Damn... this was so good that I had to register just to comment! Long time lurker, first time poster. Sir Scherzo, this is has the potential to be one of the most gripping pieces of sequential art I've read. I'd be a rabid fan if this were to see a real commercial release, so PLEASE consider realizing the entire storyline. You've got immense talent.

-Ben/BA
arizonatheband.com

[MrGranger]

Nice mix of anime & comic style...very fun.

[scherzo]

Well that was a damn fine read. You submitting to Image?
Hmmmmm...not sure how I missed your post before Fahnon. Image would be a good fit here, so I guess they'd be near the top of that short list of possibilities. Although...having seen work as beautiful as Eliseu Gouveia's shot down, I have to wonder what my real odds of success are. Keeping my fingers crossed.
Damn... this was so good that I had to register just to comment! Long time lurker, first time poster. Sir Scherzo, this is has the potential to be one of the most gripping pieces of sequential art I've read. I'd be a rabid fan if this were to see a real commercial release, so PLEASE consider realizing the entire storyline. You've got immense talent.
Wow thanks Ben. I appreciate your coming out of lurk mode, to make this comment more than you know. I'm a novice writer with BIG concerns about how I decided to approach this material, and impressions on the "story" are always especially welcome. I'd very much love to see the whole mess completed,(there's at least ONE idea in the mix that I've convinced myself is pretty original) and I've mapped out most of the major characters and events, so I'm going to forge ahead and hope for the best. Looking forward to you posting more often. :)

btw THIS is my desired cover image:
http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a314/markrand/31d9107c.jpg
Nice mix of anime & comic style...very fun.Thanks MrGranger. "Fun" is definitely way up there on the agenda here. Although looking over the pages one after the other, it's all coming out a bit more "violent" than originally conceived. I blame 2000+ pages of AKIRA, a steady diet of Steven Seagal movies, and my general callousness and desensitization. :p

-Mark

[battleangel]

I dig the cover! There's lots of space in your stuff, I'm dying to see it inked&colored. As good as the graphics are though, it's your writing that I think really shines out most. Well, the pencils are pretty damn sweet and like everyone else has been saying, you're developing a visual signature that could be spotted from a mile away, but really the writing is what drew me in first. Not only are the pieces of story revealed in interesting, clever ways, but it's really compellingly worded. You really give each character their own voice, and the character of 'daddy' is a terrific narrator. Please keep us updated!!

[scherzo]

Thanks Ben. :) For this story I tried to give more attention to the scripting than I have in the past. These are actually the first pages I've ever done, where the "words" were completed, before the drawings. About a year ago I posted a full 22 page script for a fried of mine's book, in the writers section here at DW. Experimenting with being a writer "first"(and in that case "only") actually showed me how much I'd been phoning in that aspect of the process.

Giving "Dear old Dad" the narrator role, is going to be crucial down the line, as some of his "harder" tactics and surface insensitivity, could conceivably cost him reader empathy. I think his wit and personality will be defined more by his inner monologue, than his actual interaction with the people around him. Many of whom, he'll be forced to kill. :har:

-Mark

[Fahnon]

good stuff now wheres issue 2???

[JonHParrish]

Loved it. It had a lot of energy. My favorite part was the shot of the daughter kicking the sheriff, just a nice shot. Man, you have skills. I envy you. I would definitely pick this up. Keep it up man. These look amazing just penciled, I can't imagine what they'd look like inked and coloured. I like your style. It's different. I like that.

Good luck with this.

[scherzo]

Thanks for making it to the end Reaper. :) A small handful of these have been given the color makeover already straight from pencils.(not by me...by someone with skill) I'm glad it's looking passable in it's current form though. I sometimes wonder how a quality ink job would transform these.
good stuff now wheres issue 2???
Some assembly required... :p

-scherzo

[Miguel Marques]

Very good those pages! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! :thumbs:

[WickedWiggins]

This stuff is insanely good! If I had to point at anything I'd have to say work on your dialogue. Great Stuff, Man!

[OZ!]

Your storytelling is fantastic. Yours is an art I will grow to love and remember for a very long time. :)

[scherzo]

Thanks Miguel, WickedWiggins and OZ! for commenting. In giving the art in these pages a second look, I can see a bunch of areas that can be improved going forward. The plan is for the next installments to look much slicker. As for the writing....well.... :huh:

-Mark

[jimmybott]

Hey Mark, I don't have anything to say that hasn't been said already. This is some awesome work and its instantly recognizable as your art. I really love checking out your stuff.


image: I know what you mean about people like Eliseu Gouveia getting turned away. I've also seen several other projects turned away that were really cool, even by creators with books already published by image. It does make you feel less than confident submitting. But they're obviously picking stuff up with Strongarm out recently, the chemist by Jay Boose and hiding in time. So I definitely think it's worth submitting. But if you are trying to get this pubished it may have been a little foolish posting so much of it.

Anyway man. Awesome stuff. :kewl:

[OZ!]

I think it has more to do with the writing. On creator owned stuff it HAS to be a complete package. If the writing sucks you are screwed. The best thing you can do if you are worried about the writing is grab a freind and do a quick co-write and switch/add dialogue to the action so it makes more sense etc. i hope this helps, I would hate to see this not get picked up due to static dialogue.

[scherzo]

image: I know what you mean about people like Eliseu Gouveia getting turned away. I've also seen several other projects turned away that were really cool, even by creators with books already published by image. It does make you feel less than confident submitting. But they're obviously picking stuff up with Strongarm out recently, the chemist by Jay Boose and hiding in time. So I definitely think it's worth submitting. But if you are trying to get this pubished it may have been a little foolish posting so much of it.
Thanks Jimmy. :) I'm going to be putting a package together to submit to Image and elsewhere down the line, and your point about some of their recent releases is actually encouraging. I'm mindful that while I've received quite a bit of positive response to the drawings, the look can be a turn off to some fans and pros. Working out some of the technical kinks should help with that as the project moves along. We hope. :blink:

Interestingly, I haven't had any negative reactions to the "plot" at all, which I was semi-sure I'd be in for after the last few pages were posted. Gives me hope my story elements aren't fitting together as akwardly as once feared. ;)

-Mark

[The-Spirit]

Beautiful, you are an amazing talent!