Opinions needed please

[Codazen]

Here are several lettered pages and I need to know what is good and bad about them.
Page 1 (http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/48402687/?qo=11&q=by%3Acodazen&qh=sort%3Atime+-in%3Ascraps)
Page 2 (http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/48154633/?qo=12&q=by%3Acodazen&qh=sort%3Atime+-in%3Ascraps)
Page 3 (http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/48762705/?qo=9&q=by%3Acodazen&qh=sort%3Atime+-in%3Ascraps)
Page 4 (http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/48628158/?qo=10&q=by%3Acodazen&qh=sort%3Atime+-in%3Ascraps)
Cover logo (http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/50223539/?qo=5&q=by%3Acodazen&qh=sort%3Atime+-in%3Ascraps)

[Darren Schwindaman]

First off, I think there's some really nice craft and polish happening throughout.

The first thing I notice that could be improved is the arrow on page one, where the panel is a zoomed-in view of the preceding one. That arrow doesn't seem to match the look of everything else, almost as if it's an afterthought. I'd revisit that and polish that up.

I wonder what it would look like if the narration boxes had a slight slight transparency or glow to them, to make them feel like a hologram projection or something. They feel very heavy right now. Just something to try out.

[Kep!]

PAGE 1: Nice caption boxes...wrong color. The color you chose sticks out like a sore thumb. Yellow is fine, but not that yellow. Try to pull a color from the page itself or modify a color from the page to the shade you want.

The font's a bit hard to read at screen resolution... try a test print to make sure it prints okay. I'm never keen on a "regular" font for captions...they never match the art (this is a big problem with computer lettering...too many options means it's harder to match up the right style). I'd suggest switching to a comic font...even one that's made to be sci-fi or digital. A good choice to consider would be Mainframe from Blambot...and another from ComicCraft whose name I forget. These fonts will blend with the art better.

The panels themselves are interesting, sort of like tabbed files, but you broke the illusion in Panel 4 by not putting the label vertically on the tab. ALSO for those labels, but all the words in Title Case...you've got some capitalized and some not rather inconsistently.

Your placement in panel 3 is horrible...it's covering the art and completely destroying the reason for the panel. Drop it the the bottom. Same for panel 4, drop it to the bottom. It will all flow much nicer and allow the reader to enjoy the pretty planets.

Page 2: This is minor, I'd bring that caption box up so it balances with the jutting out of the leaves instead butting up against the edge...it's small, but it will help with the flow of the page.

Page 3: Panel 1: I have no idea where these effects are coming from...no one is reacting to them and there's no movement...why are they there? Is there something you can do to make them relevant?

Panel 2: There's no action in this scene (that's the artist's problem, not yours) but there is some nice detail. Cou're covering up the alien's fingers, which are, to be honest, the only interesting thing in this panel...move the balloon down. Also, look at how you're connecting your tails...this just looks funky.

Panel 3: When two parallel lines get too close to each other it plays hell with the printing process (called a moire if you're a trivia buff). The balloon here is too close to the inset panel's boarder. Move it.

Panel 4: Same problem on the parallel lines...move the balloon stack down a bit and you should be fine.

The burst feels bad. Stack the words on top of each other and you'll have more impact than having them in-line.

PAGE 4: Panel 1-2: not bad, but get that fourth balloon up a bit so it's not causing a moire in the printing (this is a big problem until you learn to see it...we all did it early on).

Panel 3: Move the tail on the balloon stack to the bottom balloon. It's less intrusive and helps with the flow. Otherwise the bottom balloon is cut off.

Panel 4: your balloon tail is funny looking...placement more than anything else. It takes time to get a feel for it, but try to move this one so it's balanced.

Panel 5: This is poor flow. you have a character speaking in the last panel, answered by the character in the previous panel who is IN the last panel...but partially covered by the balloon tail of the first speaker. OY! Sometimes, this type of situation is unavoidable...this isn't one of those cases. I see three different ways to do it...though, I admit the easiest would be if the artist laid the panel out with the dialog in mind.

LOGO: If I were browsing the shelves, I wouldn't give this cover a second glance.

First, the company emblem and the logo font are the same, I spent a couple of moments wondering if they were supposed to flow together in some way I wasn't grasping.

Second: While the font is interesting (and it is) it's just a bit too much...it;s too hard to read on a passing glance (which is VERY important for a cover logo) and it feels like it's been stretched too long. Couple that with the gradient and you've really got too much going on.

Third: The logo SCREAMS "I made this on my computer!" and pasted it on the cover. There's no harmony between the logo and the art.

Fourth: I know this isn't an art critique...but this is a boring cover. There's nothing going on to inspire me (and I'll bet others) to look at page one. If you have any influence with the artist, at least give us some action here.

Now, I believe you wrote this too, and as the writer you have no reason not to adjust dialog to fit the art while lettering...sometimes it just has to be done to help with the ebb and flow of a piece. i would also recommend you stick these pages up in the writer's forum and get some solid critique on them...there's some good in here, but there's a lot of tightening I see to be done...but this forum is for lettering, so I'll only suggest you pop it over there.

FINALLY: Seriously good first effort on these...now go fix them and do some more! I think you're going to do quite nicely with practice.

[Kep!]

I wonder what it would look like if the narration boxes had a slight slight transparency or glow to them, to make them feel like a hologram projection or something. They feel very heavy right now. Just something to try out.

Worth trying, yes, but I think you'll see they would match the art even less than these do.

[Codazen]

Panel 5: This is poor flow. you have a character speaking in the last panel, answered by the character in the previous panel who is IN the last panel...but partially covered by the balloon tail of the first speaker. OY! Sometimes, this type of situation is unavoidable...this isn't one of those cases. I see three different ways to do it...though, I admit the easiest would be if the artist laid the panel out with the dialog in mind.

Hey that was super helpful. Thanks so much. Can you tell me how you would fit the quoted item above?
I have updated the pages including a new cover so if you have more advice I'll listen carefully.
Thanks again!

Page 5 (http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/50405636/)
Page 6 (http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/50408017/?qo=3&q=by%3Acodazen&qh=sort%3Atime+-in%3Ascraps)
Page 7 (http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/50408086/)
Page 8 (http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/50408147/)

[Kep!]

Hey that was super helpful. Thanks so much. Can you tell me how you would fit the quoted item above?
I have updated the pages including a new cover so if you have more advice I'll listen carefully.
Thanks again!

Page 5 (http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/50405636/)
Page 6 (http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/50408017/?qo=3&q=by%3Acodazen&qh=sort%3Atime+-in%3Ascraps)
Page 7 (http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/50408086/)
Page 8 (http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/50408147/)
since tyou wrote it, I'd seriously consider rewriting the scene a bit...failing that I'm not sure...the file is claiming not to be there. Sorry. Play with it though, you'll get it. Really.

Of course, there's also a point where you have to say "that's enough" and move on. Often that's the hardest part.