some lettering for crits

[theflash]

hey guys it has been forever since i posted any lettering here but i thought i would throw some of the pages i am working on right now up here and see what you guys fire back at me.

http://img176.imageshack.us/img176/1417/fj1page1arh2.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

http://img176.imageshack.us/img176/9994/fj1page2aik1.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

http://img136.imageshack.us/img136/694/fj1page3apc2.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

http://img237.imageshack.us/img237/1898/fj1page4afa7.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

http://img241.imageshack.us/img241/6319/fj1page5aqs3.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/5866/fj1page6aer0.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[augiedb]

One quick thing: Don't push the caption boxes to the edge of the panel border like that. Give it a little bit of space to breathe. Or knock out the tangent walls all together -- that might be an interesting look.

-Augie

[theflash]

One quick thing: Don't push the caption boxes to the edge of the panel border like that. Give it a little bit of space to breathe. Or knock out the tangent walls all together -- that might be an interesting look.

-Augie

ok gotcha about the captions...but i have no idea what a tangent wall is...

[Jason Arthur]

that was your 666th post by the way.

Happy Halloween and all that.

I hate the balloons. Lower the stroke to .75 and make the tails of the balloons all closer to the same size. Try to avoid having balloons cover heads/people/etc...

Make the sound effects your own. It's fine to use the Blambot fonts, that's what they're for, but you need to spice them up a bit. Add some distortion or get in there real close and aggitate it a bit.

On the "YEARGH!" dialogue that's busting out of its' balloon...try to touch up the little black specks inside there (either get in there tight with the pen tool and use some more white to cover it, or layer it out a bit more).

Never use capital "I" unless it's a personal pronouns and contractions such as "I'll, I've, I'm" Even at the start of a sentence you should follow this commonly accepted rule of lettering.

Don't get discouraged by any of these crits. What you have is good, but it can be better.

keep at it.

EDIT: and what Augie was saying about the captions was that maybe you could try butting the captions to the edge of those panels, but delete/whiteout the parts of the panel where the caption box touches...creating an open, white, borderless area for the caption text. It could work, but with that many captions it might come off a garish.

-- J

[Gonzogoose]

Augie and Jason about covered it, but I don't think once it's colored the stroke on the balloons will necessarily be too thick. I personally don't like really thin strokes, but that's a personal taste thing.

As for the captions, while it may give it an interesting look, I'd lean more towards Jason's thought about with so many of them it may become a bit overwhelming or overly stylized, but it wouldn't hurt to try.

And as for the crossbar "I", I see quite a bit of lettering where they are used at the beginning of sentences. From my understanding it's accepted, but not common. Generally you only use it on pronouns except the word "it". Personally I prefer to stick to the rule Jason mentioned.

Nice overall, you've come a long way since the last stuff I saw from you, and these pages (the art) look great! Congrats on that artist again.

[Wiz Rollins]

Everyone's been pretty spot on with their comments.

I'd add that you should thin a out the points where your balloon tales join your ballons. You start off very "wide" and it gives your tales a stubby look.

[theflash]

thanks for all the crits guys! much appreciated without question. noted on the captions i will just move them off the panel borders rather than trying to get all experimental. :har: and odd about the starting of a sentence "I"... i read somewhere that sentences should begin with caps regardless...but hey i'm easy.

and Brant mentioned the artist. his name is Harold Edge and he's awesome to work with. nice guy, stays in good contact, fast as hell, and does sweet work. i couldn't have asked for better.

anyway, if anyone else sees anything i need to fix feel free to chime in.

[theflash]

ok i reworked the second page with regard to the sound effects. better?

http://img82.imageshack.us/img82/3240/fj1page2yz2.jpg (http://imageshack.us)